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tgsloth
07-08-2010, 08:07 PM
MY IMAGE(S):
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/upload_spool/07-08-2010/124239_Choo_Choo_Seven.jpg


GENERAL INFORMATION:
Title: Choo Choo Seven
Year Created:
Medium: Oil
Surface: Board
Dimension: 6x8
Allow digital alterations?: Yes!

MY COMMENTS:
For some reason, this one fought like a tiger. I just couldn't get it to look ok for quite some time. All I could figure to do was keep layering and correcting. So, if we assume it's now a good little painting, it's a lesson to, like Churchill said, "Never give up. Never, never, never." And he could paint too.

MY QUESTIONS FOR THE GROUP:
Open

Corby
07-08-2010, 09:13 PM
do you still have a quiver of dissatisfaction TG? I feel that it is speeding on by me at a three quarter angle, but it has turned its face to look straight at me in passing...the upper windows in front do not seem to be pointed in the direction in which the train is going. One struggles to keep some motifs even in their shapes, such as the "V" shape on the trains front, whereas in reality the near side of the "V" would have a sharper angle than the far side. The relationships of the lights and the windows would then be pulled slightly to the right bringing the face of the train into better alignment with the direction in which it is moving...super color and feeling though!

tgsloth
07-08-2010, 11:33 PM
Getting all the perspective right is weird with an entirely curved engine. I dinked with it more times than I'd care to relate. It seems...ok to me now but I sure can't dismiss your comments. Hopefully a person with damaged eyesight will buy it.

MRSBB
07-09-2010, 02:25 AM
Hi Tg. I see what Corby is saying and understand where you are coming from too. I had the same problem on that VW van I did a while back. I like your series, keep going..........Lenore

billmahler
07-09-2010, 08:51 AM
Sorry, TG, but #6 raised the bar and now we can't let off the hook.
As Corby and Lenore said, the perspective is off. The far circle on the bottom is larger than the near one. That should be reversed. The lights should diminish as well, but it's not just those details, something larger is amiss.
In the event that you don't find a visually challenged buyer, check it upside down and at various other angles and eventually "the" problem will pop out at you.
One of my teachers once said that most problems can be traced to values. You might need to change some values here.

tgsloth
07-09-2010, 09:15 AM
Thanks Bill, your point on the circles (they're kind of spring loaded pusher thingees) is actionable. I will also try various angles of view but an alternate strategy is to knock back a few Knob Creek Bourbons to improve artistic vision. I'll think again about Corby's thoughtful views as well. Stay tuned.

Corby
07-09-2010, 12:44 PM
I know it is a hassle TG, but the only way I can approach a near approximation of the proper curvature of items like this is to construct them within a box. My perspectives here are just eyeballed. To be completely accurate one would have to establish the vanishing point some where to the right completely off the canvas. But for the preservation of reputation it is worth the effort...( now if I just had some way of forcing myself to take my own advices...)

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/09-Jul-2010/70790-choobox.jpg

cathaden
07-10-2010, 09:43 AM
tg- I may be all wet, but the perspective of the front of train moving forward in the same line as the back hit me as off immediately. The implication of speed is fantastic!

humbly..I messed quickly on my computer to show you what I see...disregard if I am off base.

488494
Love, love your train series.

tgsloth
07-10-2010, 09:53 AM
Thanks everyone for helping with honest and thoughtful critiques. Cat's rather extreme photoshop makes the point most clearly. I'm gonna take a deep breath and try again. I hope others can learn from this critiquing process which has helped me so much. And here's a gem. This train is weirdly shaped and I've done a better job than you might think following the reference. But if the painting looks wrong, it is wrong.

Bis007
07-10-2010, 10:39 AM
I am chooed off.

TG stop confusing muah my comment was for this one..HA i posted it in Choo 6.
(it has to do with the Vthis one. I am sure you will finds it.

tgsloth
07-10-2010, 04:55 PM
Taking a deep breath, I have tried to fix up the perspective of this train thanks to guidance from the forum. As I said earlier, the reference, if slavishly copied, does not create the right impression of the front of the train facing in the direction of movement. To study this point, I found that my Dremel charger is rather train shaped so I drew on its front and studied the form changes when I rotated it. Those Dremel tools'll do anything!

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/10-Jul-2010/124239-Dreml_train.jpg

And then it was a bit easier to fix up the train front than I feared. I'll need some more paint once the layer dries but I think it's better.

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/10-Jul-2010/124239-Choo_Choo_Seven.jpg

crazywoman53
07-10-2010, 08:48 PM
Hey Bob.. If you are like me at all I hate perspective when it just doesn't come together and you work and work and work at it and it only seems to get worse. In this case your dremel tool is right on.. but I think you painted what you knew and not what you were seeing on the dremel tool. Perhaps you can blow up the dremel tool photo to the size of the engine and trace it with tracing paper and lay it over the painting to see where you are going off. Or grid it. I admire your stick to it diligence to not let this one win.

MRSBB
07-11-2010, 01:32 AM
Christine is right TG. Have you tried moving those two highlights on the front further to the left? I'll watch and learn while you do the work......Lenore

Corby
07-11-2010, 12:09 PM
In keeping with my perspective box suggested above I did this workup that might prove to be helpful?...the white arrows indicate items moved or lines altered...what a tricky little devil this is tg!

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/11-Jul-2010/70790-124239_Choo_Choo_Seven.jpg

kathrynlovespets
07-14-2010, 04:42 AM
I feel like it's speeding right out of the picture and maybe you need a nice daisy growing up out of the grass to the left of the picture