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Harry Seymour
07-07-2010, 09:17 PM
MY IMAGE(S):
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/upload_spool/07-07-2010/131361_Oak_Bluffs_Picnic1.jpg


GENERAL INFORMATION:
Title: Oak Bluffs Picnic
Year Created:
Medium: Tempera
Surface: Board
Dimension: 12x16
Allow digital alterations?: No, please :)

MY COMMENTS:
Folks are having a picnic on a Martha's Vineyard beach in Oak Blufffs.

MY QUESTIONS FOR THE GROUP:
Feedback is appreciated in terms of likes and dislikes about this piece.

tgsloth
07-08-2010, 10:15 AM
This is fantastic; your best I think. Great composition and what a job you've done depicting and suggesting the figures in all sorts of different positions. Your signature style weaves the whole thing together.

When I saw the image on my monitor, it was as if the figures were standing in mist. This could be just fine but I began to perceive that you mean to show them on a sandy knoll with some beach plants. I think if you warm up the temperature, it reads better although the "fault" may be with the digital image. Anyhow all I did with the photoshop is to apply a warming filter. The same could be done with yellow ochre glazing if you find this approach interesting.
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/08-Jul-2010/124239-131361_Oak_Bluffs_Picnic1.jpg

Corby
07-08-2010, 10:32 AM
This is beautifully composed...one could use the word choreographed it is so much like a dance. I like TG's suggestion. I would give it even more warmth and turn that very dark sky into a sunnier version of blue. There are the indications of shadow under the figures so it seems called for...? I love the feel of family here, nice work! ( I might mention that what gives it a lively sense of meaning is that the figures are all of them interactive, not just stuck around in stiff poses)

Harry Seymour
07-08-2010, 10:38 AM
Bob and Corby- thanks for the comments. I struggled with the cool vs warm and ended up with the cool. The image is not quite true since there are many subtle tones that somehow don't come thru in the photo. Nevertheless, the warm treatment remains an option.

billmahler
07-08-2010, 12:06 PM
Good idea and good execution, Harry!

crazywoman53
07-08-2010, 02:53 PM
Very nice Harry! I like it just the way it is.

Alessandra Kelley
07-08-2010, 03:42 PM
It's quite beautiful and soft and atmospheric.

When you say your medium is tempera, do you mean "egg" tempera? I ask because it's my major medium and rather esoteric and you seem to have done very well with it.

Harry Seymour
07-08-2010, 04:01 PM
Thanks Bill and crazywoman. Always appreciate and value your comments.

Harry Seymour
07-08-2010, 04:02 PM
It's quite beautiful and soft and atmospheric.

When you say your medium is tempera, do you mean "egg" tempera? I ask because it's my major medium and rather esoteric and you seem to have done very well with it.

Alessandra--yes it is egg tempera but I don't use it in the traditional way. My style is much looser and I break a lot of so called rules.

MRSBB
07-09-2010, 01:59 AM
Hi Harry. Your paintings always have a nice story to tell. Is there a reason everyone is wearing blue and white? I do like the warmer version, just seems to give it more character. Nice to see your work again..........Lenore

Harry Seymour
07-09-2010, 08:32 AM
Hi Harry. Your paintings always have a nice story to tell. Is there a reason everyone is wearing blue and white? I do like the warmer version, just seems to give it more character. Nice to see your work again..........Lenore
Lenore-my reason for color choices is simply impact including the coolness. Thnnks for your observation.

greensyster
07-10-2010, 08:42 PM
Soon as this image opened it was a 'Wow' so that's a huge positive! Looser style which I think tops your previous. Love the play betweeen the images and the eye directions you have created. Here it does look like they are playing in powder snow so maybe the addition of some more warms could rectify that. Great work.

Harry Seymour
07-11-2010, 09:40 AM
Marie-sure nice to get "wow" every now and then. Thanks.

La_
07-11-2010, 02:59 PM
well, wow !

i like the cold blues but figure the greens on the bluff and the super dark background could be toned down a just a bit ... they're a little bit crowding for me and i'd like the beautiful chocolate skin to be the darkest dark

really lovely work as usual tho harry, very nice

la

Harry Seymour
07-11-2010, 03:34 PM
Thanks La and your comments are appreciated.

bocote
07-12-2010, 11:15 AM
I'm fine with hues used. Warm or cool would work, but changing it after its done would be pain. Your figures and props are portrayed well.

The only things bugging me, which is very minor, are: I don't know what is going on in the background and I feel that its part of the composition. Its just above the subjects and doesn't interact. The composition is perfect except I think I would have turned the leftmost figure around and kept her foot in.

Have fun,

song_bird
07-12-2010, 01:46 PM
Like this very much! :clap: I prefer the sheer crispness of the blue and white also. When I first opened it, I did find it confusingly white like snow and think maybe just a touch of sandy coloring would put me more on the beach. But I really like that crispness -- very coool! :cool:


Randomly placed. Maybe could use a little more?

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/12-Jul-2010/222563-beach_picnic.jpg

orig to see:

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/12-Jul-2010/222563-orig_beach.jpg

Harry Seymour
07-12-2010, 07:23 PM
Song bird- thanks for looking and for the suggestion.

Alessandra Kelley
07-23-2010, 11:00 AM
I love it when people break the boundaries of what is said to be standard egg tempera practice. And I love what you've done with it.

Harry Seymour
07-23-2010, 12:48 PM
I'm fine with hues used. Warm or cool would work, but changing it after its done would be pain. Your figures and props are portrayed well.

The only things bugging me, which is very minor, are: I don't know what is going on in the background and I feel that its part of the composition. Its just above the subjects and doesn't interact. The composition is perfect except I think I would have turned the leftmost figure around and kept her foot in.

Have fun,

Bryan,
Somehow I missed your response when you initially posted it. Thanks for your comments and you are right about the foot--it leads one right out of the image.

Harry

Harry Seymour
07-23-2010, 02:12 PM
I love it when people break the boundaries of what is said to be standard egg tempera practice. And I love what you've done with it.

Alessandra--it is unfortunate that egg tempera has been viewed so restrictively. It is a wonderful medium and there is no reason to limit its application. Thanks for your observations.

cathaden
07-24-2010, 11:43 AM
If you decide to change the right foot, I hope you will repost the image. The scene is wonderful & so alive...pulls me right into the painting. Fabulous work!

Harry Seymour
07-24-2010, 12:29 PM
Thanks Cathaden. Indeed, a repost will occur when I modify which I think I will.