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ryster007
06-26-2010, 01:07 PM
MY IMAGE(S):
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/upload_spool/06-26-2010/83841_Reserved_for_you.JPG


GENERAL INFORMATION:
Title: Reserved for you
Year Created:
Medium: Mixed-Media
Surface: Board
Dimension: 15 x 15 inches
Allow digital alterations?: Yes!

MY COMMENTS:
Been trying to push my style to be more absract or contemporary, but find it hard to not paint in representational style! <br>

MY QUESTIONS FOR THE GROUP:
Would really love some feedback on this attempt.<br><br> I can handle harsh (but fair!) C&C. <br><br>Does this image have impact and does it work?<br><br>Technique? anything I can do to improve on the next one?

Hender
06-26-2010, 01:22 PM
I think the piece has impact, I like the use of the mixed media and the different textures add another level of intrigue that makes me want to take a closer look. Very effective.

What doesn't work for me is the moon. It throws the whole painting off for me. I think the peice would work without it.

Just my opinion. Take it for what it's worth, I have no formal art training.

ryster007
06-26-2010, 01:40 PM
I think the piece has impact, I like the use of the mixed media and the different textures add another level of intrigue that makes me want to take a closer look. Very effective.

What doesn't work for me is the moon. It throws the whole painting off for me. I think the peice would work without it.

Just my opinion. Take it for what it's worth, I have no formal art training.

Hi Hender

You can have a closer look on my blog-click the link then click on the picture there, it'll open up much bigger

Interested to hear what is wrong with the moon- do you think it's just unnecessary, jarring, badly painted or is it a compositional thing. Its useful to hear C&C like this- thanks:thumbsup:

Ryan

Hender
06-26-2010, 03:42 PM
I'm not entirely sure what it is exactly about the moon that throws it off for me. But I will take a stab at it.

To me, the composition is very center weighted. The curves in the couple's embrace make for a nice circle that draws your attention in to them. The moon, while not badly drawn, steals your eyes away from the couple at the man's head and keeps it there, when I want to follow the circle back down to the woman. I feel the moon is unnecessary and distracts from the main focal point.

ryster007
06-26-2010, 04:27 PM
Thanks for clarifying Hender- I see what you mean it does draw the eye somewhat.

My thought for including it was to add the light which repeats in highlights throughout. I put irredescent and interference colour in this too so that it looks like it shimmers- unfortunately the photo doesn't pick thi up. Could be that I've overstated it though

Thanks for commenting as I'll bear it in mind on the next one!

Ryan

Corby
06-26-2010, 06:29 PM
Hi ryster! Good to see some of your work again! The moon is a hard call. As it is I dont think it adds anything useful to the image and it is a bit distracting with its highly noticeable shape. One could go without it or one could make it full and move it in toward the couple a bit and let it bath the scene in moonlight with effects as I have indicated, the use of which would be discretionary to the artists own ideas... But play it up, let it spark the image.

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/26-Jun-2010/70790-Reserved.JPG

ryster007
06-26-2010, 07:02 PM
Hi Corby

Wow that definitely improves to impact! The colours you've got for the moon are closer to what its like in real life with the irredescent and interference colours- the camera has deadened it quite a bit. The full moon does boost it quite a bit and I wish I'd done the highlights as strong as you've got them!

Thanks for taking the time to illustrate too!

Ryan

song_bird
06-27-2010, 04:15 PM
I like the ambience of including a moon and Corby's suggestion to bask the couple in moonlight. Yes, I find your painting to have impact, and it would have even more with that suggestion.

The one thing that bothers me is the area of the dip of her neckline, which is very prounounced.

song_bird
06-27-2010, 05:24 PM
Here's another rendition, with the moonlight Corby suggested along with an adjustment of neckline and hair. I'd also like to see her hand with more depth.

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/27-Jun-2010/222563-couple.jpg

ryster007
06-27-2010, 06:23 PM
Hi songbird- thanks for commenting!

I'm also thinking maybe i should have made it a full moon and their heads overlapping it a little to tie it together.

next time.....!

Ryan

song_bird
06-28-2010, 12:27 AM
Maybe some stars ........

Really sweet image : )

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/27-Jun-2010/222563-couple_stars.jpg