Cozy

[mbc]

MY IMAGE(S):

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/24-Sep-2002/site1008.jpg

GENERAL INFORMATION:
Title: Cozy
Year Created: 2002
Medium: Pastel
Surface: Paper
Dimension: 14
Allow digital alterations?: Yes!

MY COMMENTS:
No critique restrictions. Go with throttle up!

MY QUESTIONS FOR THE GROUP:
I, myself, have some issues with this piece, and without leading the witness, so to speak, am curious to see if your issues mimick mine.

Thanks in advance for your critiques.

mbc

Oh, bother, where is my image? Help?

[henrik]

I like your image, but the message board software did not. I think it was the tilde in the URL - it refused to recognize it as an IMG. So, I uploaded the image to WC. I hope you don't mind.

[mbc]

Thank you, Henrik, for taking the time and consideration in properly posting my image.

mbc

[Ruth Brigitte]

My initial reaction was: this is not cozy, it's "Spellbound". I can see that the kids were probably watching some fascination show on TV, so the title doesn't fit. I would change the title, not the painting.
Along this line: to get that "cozy" feeling I think you need more warm colors. Overall, this is too cool.
Also, the blanket and blank wall to the right are leading you out of the picture. I would crop about 1/4 of the right away, so that a more intimate feeling is created by just focusing on the 3 subjects.
In addition, I don't like the hard black line to the left of the older girl's face.


Otherwise, nice rendering, especially the hair.

[TKeela]

It's very cute. I like the juxtaposition of the warm cozy dog and the rapt attention of the humans on the TV.... like the dog is carefree while the humans are trapped like zombies. Neat!

That being said, where is the light source? It should be coming from the TV, but I don't see a real defined light source here. Of course in low light conditions everything does look flat, but the humans are so bright that it seems there must be light coming from somewhere.

Adding a blue tint to their faces in the direction of the TV might help show that they're watching TV. Otherwise, two girls just staring off into space is rather unnerving. :)

Compositionally, I think the pic would work better with the girl closest to the dog left in, and the other girl not included. I know that in reality they're probably both your daughters and so this isn't a practical suggestion, but compositionally it would help to ensure that the dog isn't "lost" in the picture.

[henrik]

I agree with TKeela about "loosing" the girl on our left - I think that would be a much stronger composition. By doing so the blanket on our right does not pull 'off canvas'.

Attached is an edited version where I also worked on shadows and contrast to increase the TV as lightsource effect.

[mbc]

AAAAAAAAAAAUGH! :eek: I wondered if I'd be able to take alterations to my paintings. What was I thinking?!

Obviously, I feel TWO people in the painting added to the composition. The eye roams the painting, and yes, it is tugged to the right, but it always swings back and around. Cropping the painting on the right, as suggested, solves that little tug of the eye problem, in my opinion, in a more satisfactory way. In fact, when I framed it, I cropped it as such.

The lighting was an issue for me. There was light in the room, from a lamp behind the girls, and of course from the TV. The actual painting has a bluer cast than what the computer monitor shows. I admit, I was very timid with my blue cast. I didn't want to turn the girls into ghosts. And at the same time I liked the soft glow from the lone lamp in the room. In hind sight I should have ignored the light from the lamp. Oh well.

And speaking of monitors, I do not note a "hard black line" along the one girl's face. Every monitor is different of course. Rest assured it is not on the actual painting.

"Spellbound" verses "Cozy?" Hmmmmmm. The dog, though secondary in the painting, is certainly cozy, but I didn't really convey that snuggly feeling with the posing of the girls, did I?

[byron]

overall i like the piece. one thing thaqt draws my attention is the poor rendering of the dog. the paw and hedad don't feel as if they belong together and the blanket barely hints at the mass and shape of the dog. unfortunately this draws alot of my attention. still it is a nice piece that i would not be ashamed of hanging in my house if i was related to the children.
-byron-

ps
relax you don't have to be so defensive about your piece. people here are just sharing their opinions which you asked for:cool:

[mbc]

I'm cool, I'm cool :cool: . I thought I was congenially trying to convey how wacked I was to see an actual alteration to my painting. Sorry, if my written skills don't express my tone very well. I guess that's why we have these darn smiley things ;) . I can take it, really. I may not like it, but I can take it.

Now let's talk about your critique. You don't think the arm positioning and leaning of the girl imply the mass of the dog? Do you think I should have used the blanket to outline the dog's shape?

Regarding the paw, you're very astute, it was my original intent to not show a paw at all. Others said, put the paw in, put the paw in. So I put the paw in. What can I say?

Thanks for the critique and the heads up on my chill factor.

[henrik]

mbc, I also liked your painting, you have many things very well done, and the composition "issue" I think is a small one. And you are right that cropping on the right also removes a problem (it is a small one), and that is one way of looking at the painting.

I also thought that there was a good "missing third" theme; you are sort of expecting that there should be a third person on our far right, but it's empty, and then you see the dog. I thought that was great.

Attached Degas "A glass of absinthe" - I guess the classic "missing third" painting...

[Mo.]

Hi mbc,

My first reactions, were good use of pastels and good subject.

Looking deeper into your painting however, the points that strike me are the eyes of both girls, and in both girls it's their left eyes, they seem oversized to me, then the skin tones are too pale some reflected colours from the clothing would help, you have used a lot of blues, cool colours in your painting, some complementary colours would warm the picture and give more depth and life to the subject. the girl on the right.. her hand really draws my eye, perhaps a warmer flesh tone would correct this, then noting that they would have a reflected light from a TV, then maybe the skin tones would have a slight blue tinge, but this could make a poor representation of a good picture, I personally would make the reflected light coming from a fireplace, maybe giving the girls a wistful look as we do when staring into the embers of a fire, then you would have warm colours to play around with.

the dog is a nice touch, leave it in, but alter the dogs paw, it needs to be more rounded (padded) looks too skeleton, like fingers.
One last thing, the girl on the left , the folds of her jumper I feel need to be softened and some complementary colours placed in the shadows of the folds.