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Suvi
08-11-2009, 11:32 PM
MY IMAGE(S):
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/upload_spool/08-11-2009/170009_DSCF2429.JPG

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/upload_spool/08-11-2009/170009_DSCF2430.JPG

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/upload_spool/08-11-2009/170009_DSCF2431.JPG


GENERAL INFORMATION:
Title: Shorebirds #2
Year Created:
Medium: Acrylic
Surface: Canvas
Dimension: 20x20
Allow digital alterations?: Yes!

MY COMMENTS:
for this painting I was trying to take some advice I'd recieved on a previous painting while playing around with a wet on wet technique...it was going well untill i decided to add some blue to the foreground...to my dismay the green had already begun to dry so when applying the blue i pulled up the green!! I am crossing my fingers that the dark spot on the left will dry lighter.. <br><br><br><br>I think i started off on the wrong foot with this one..with two small pups I think I was asking too much for a couple hours uninterupted :P <br><br><br><br><br><br>

MY QUESTIONS FOR THE GROUP:
I am trying to get my composition down a little better...how did i do??, colour .. and anything else you see!

Suvi
08-11-2009, 11:36 PM
the colour is off on the photos the painting itself is not this dark.. though the more I look at it the more I think it is headed to the gesso pile...

Terri5
08-12-2009, 12:25 AM
Hi, Suvi,

I wouldn't consign this one to the gesso pile, honestly!

There's a kind of simplicity to this that suggests artlessness, that suggests innocence and play, and I love that quality. The bird is very graceful and whimsical in his featurelessness. But this isn't primitivism here, as I see it, but a kind of a simplified impressionism. There's art in the way you've portrayed the sun and the shorebird. Someone without technique couldn't render these elements with the essentialness and grace that you have--they just couldn't.

I love the diagonal you've created, too, with shorebird and sun each anchoring a far corner of the canvas. This is a good move compositionally because the eye keeps moving between these two figures.


This painting isn't a tour de force, but not every painting has to be. It's quiet and seems to bask in its own serenity, and the pastel palette plays that up. I think what you've done here is already very successful and I'd hesitate to muck with it.

Suvi
08-12-2009, 12:18 PM
Terri, Thank you! Your words are too kind! I am hesitating to go down and have a look to see if that spot has cleared up (on the left of the bird) if it has than maybe I will have to leave it..

Your words have pulled it out of the gesso pile, for now:lol:

One other question..do the colours seem to be muddy..???

THanks!!!!!!!!:D

Terri5
08-12-2009, 04:41 PM
You're very welcome, Suvi! And I saw no muddy anywhere, not even on the shorebird.:) Just a lovely and atmospheric painting!

Suvi
08-12-2009, 06:09 PM
Thanks again Terri! Maybe by the time I get home from work I will have gotten the courage to go have another look at it! :lol:

LynnDigby
08-12-2009, 10:39 PM
MY QUESTIONS FOR THE GROUP:
I am trying to get my composition down a little better...how did i do??, colour .. and anything else you see!

Hi, Suvi.

I see you are working on the same theme, the shorebirds along the beach. I think i understand your intention, and can see where you might be frustrated.

I think you have had wonderfully encouraging advice, and you will learn quite a lot if you continue to develop some of the ideas you first had for this. No gesso pile yet!

But if i might make a suggestion for future paintings... I would suggest that you take a short while to plan a few things before you begin.

Think about the thing you want to paint. What about it visually do you want to express? Is it a color? A contrast? A texture? Try to think beyond just what it is and see what your inroad will be. If there is an emotion you wish to express? Then your task is to translate this into something visual. This is hard to think of when you start to paint. Most of us will think about the thing that is the subject and try to make it look right, then fill in the background somehow to fit. What this does is weaken what is essentially a whole visual package.

After your basic concept, it might be good to then design shapes both negative and positive, to show where your center of interest of visual focus will be. Design these shapes to play up the main thing. Backgrounds are shapes too. Make them interesting ones.

I'd then take a small moment to figure out your darks and lights. It takes longer to type this than it does to do it! You can do these tiny little thumbnail sketches and design values to work with those good shapes. As before, try to push things to enhance your visual focus, not detract from or ignore it.

I think then when you begin to paint, you will have the map that will lead you to stay true to your design. Sure, there are detours. And there might even be an big change of direction along the way. But starting with a solid idea is a nice way to stop the gesso pile blues.

In this piece, you have two objects, the bird and the ball. They are neither one anchored to the ground. The ground is softly blended, so there seems to be little substance to it. The background behind the objects reads as one space, but its shape might be more interesting if it were divided or defined a little more.

I think the painting might be improved if you decided where darks and lights could be strengthened and where the light source is. A lot of these ideas can be played with on a sheet of scrap paper to test the effects.

But attention to these rather abstract concepts can really help make your job of finishing easier!

Certainly not all painters work this way. And there are many ways to think a painting. But this one has been one I've taught for a while and I've seen it help to focus a painting.

I hope this helps!

Suvi
08-12-2009, 11:17 PM
Lynn,

Thank you for your input! I am definitally going to take your words and put them to practice for my next peice. I am glad to hear that you think this one should be held form the gesso pile as well however I think unless I can find a way to rework it it will go there anyway. I like the bird but the background seems dark and muddied to me.. I like the sun but it doesnt feel connected to the bird... I will have to rework part of the foreground anyways because as I has said some of the paint pulled up when i tried to add to it....

So Off i go to the sketch book!!


Thanks again Lynn! :)

LynnDigby
08-18-2009, 11:43 PM
I like the bird but the background seems dark and muddied to me.. I like the sun but it doesnt feel connected to the bird... I will have to rework part of the foreground anyways because as I has said some of the paint pulled up when i tried to add to it....



One thought...If that is a sun, then it is the brightest thing. Nothing is brighter than the sunlight in a scene if it's high in the sky. The thing is, it's so bright it is mostly not seen, except early in the morning at sunrise or late in the day when it sets. There is no shading on the sun to make it look like a round ball. The surface doesn't have shadows like the moon.

I'm not sure it's working as a sun. I read it as a ball on the sand of the beach. If you made a break between sky and sand, changed the sky to lighter values, and if you include the actual sun, made it the brightest thing, then it might help?

Suvi
08-19-2009, 03:56 PM
Lynn, I do have to go back into the foreground as the one spot didnt dry the way a had hoped, I will definitally try to seperate the two and we will see where it goes! (cant loose anything!! :lol: )

Thanks!!!!!!!