Yodels...

[ReNae]

yep, yodels, I ate a pack out of the box today. I really wasn't going to, I've been really good. But I am terribly sad these past two days.

Before I was really angry and rode my recumbent bike for an hour every day till my clothes were soaked and I couldn't take the pounding of my heated face. Angry? Yep, I was struck by a car a few months ago. It's been a hell. I go to a chiro 3x's a week for the ahole tore my shoulder muscles that I had surgery on last year. Pop aspirins like crazy. Don't sleep much. But the best part, I need to have 3 surgeries on my left arm and 1 on my back. The back I am avoiding at all costs!

Now I was really, really angry that my life turned upside down, but we made the best out of it. Kept our sense of humor. Rode the bike to nowhere. Realized I could have been extremely mangled up. Four inches more and I wouldn't be here right now. Now mind you, I was walking on the right side of a country road - no sidewalks - no traffic.

Well, yesterday I found out my 7 yr. old daughter has a double hearing loss. Yep, I'm the culprit. I passed the gene my mother gave me to her. Devastated. I am upset right now, tears welling in my eyes. She doesn't understand what lies ahead of her. I do. Devastated.

So I'm whining. Whine, whine, whine! No, I'm venting. Awww hell.
I just want it all to go away, rewind to 4 months ago. I want NORMALCY!

Warmth,
ReNae

[Birdie]

here is a big (((hug))) for you........I will be praying for you and your daughter.....

Birdie:rolleyes:

[KamaraDesigns]

I'm really sorry to hear about your troubles!! Getting hit by a car is a rough road back. I'm a Stephen King fan (yup...I'll admit it...I can't help it!!) and in his writings since the accident I've noticed he's brought up this event several times...shows you how it's affected him. I'm sure you've heard people say over and over again that it could have been worse...but that doesn't help struggle back and the pain.

I'm also very sorry to hear about your daughter. That's just tough. My girlfriend had premature twins and one has total hearing loss. They keep hoping against hope that an operation or therapy might help restore partial hearing, but it's unlikely. It's not your fault though....we all carry some stinky genes in us.... My husband and I recently found out that we both had a parent with a bipolar disorder (both were on lithium) which puts us and our children in the likely category for developing this disorder. I have my eyes peeled for the warning signs.

I hope you begin to feel better soon..and I hope things turn around soon.

kim

[gnu]

ReNae..you can't know ahead of time what you can't know...we all pass on unknowns to our kids, by genes or actions....
On the positive side, eg....advances have now made it possible for someone close to me to have major eyesight improvements...we never imagined it would happen, out of the blue, there it is...
so there's always hope..but sure do understand the grief and anger right now...so sending hugs your way... know there are listening ears here, and shoulders to cry on...
((((((((((((((((((((((((((ReNae)))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Gill

[gnu]

P.S.....what on earth are YODELS??????? :D

[JustjoGA]

I'm with Gnu... what the heck are (edible) Yodels ? And ask your daughter's doctor about cochlear implant(s) when she is a little older... they are fairly new technology and give hearing to people who have been deaf....

[Allan Jameson]

Yeah.....what are Yodels??????......and I am with JustjoGa on the cochlea implants....they are having resounding success hear with them too.

[NorahT]

Am sending prayers and positive vibrations for you and your daughter. Don't feel guilty about your little girl - we all pass on good things too :)

[YLCIA]

ReNae, (((((((((())))))))))))).
My best wishes to you! I am so sorry!
You shoud not ride the bike though , it can worsen your back condition. And I too heard about cochlear implants, actually I saw the whole programm on TV on it...

Julia

[kelleybee]

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Rehabilitation is a b**ch. Sounds like you have a long road ahead. I hope you have more downhill sections than uphill while you recover. Hug your baby...Sounds like she has a very strong role model.

[ironhorse]

((((((((((ReNae)))))))))))

(((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))

Have another box of Yodels (what ever they are) I say your a loud. NO caloires count cuz I said so
Twyla

[kelleybee]

Oh..Yodels are pretty good..but I still like twinkies best!:D :D

[Beau]

So sorry to hear of your daughter Renae.....Cant help the gene stuff cause Ive got a genetic disorder as well (Hemochromatosis - Iron poisoning of the blood) ....No its not your fault hon...what would be worse is if that beautiful little girl hadnt been born.....Speaking of hearing loss I have 100 percent deafness in my right ear (Nerve is dead) and about 70% in my left ear.....Sometimes its a little difficult but sure comes in handy when I dont wanna hear what someone is saying....Your little girl will be fine wait and see!


Point is....she may have a little trouble hearing....but she will never regret being bought into this world with such a wonderful mom like you!


Will say a prayer and keep my fingers crossed...Hope the pain and problems subside ....sure do miss chatting with you.


Big Hugs!


Beau

[dupliKate]

((((((ReNae)))))))

I'm so sorry to read about your frustration and pain....and about your daughter's hearing loss. Probably isn't much I can add that the others haven't already said. Just wanted to add my own hug and to send you and your family loving thoughts.

About the yodels....don't know what they are either, but if there is chocolate involved, and they made you feel better...eat as many as you want .....

(Don't feel guilty about your daughter, you did not purposely do anything to cause her any pain....I have an identical twin with a severe hearing loss because I cut off her oxygen supply while I was being born....felt guilty for a long time....but she is living a happy, normal life, not diminished in any way....)

K (can't find a smilie with arms reaching out to hug....we could probably use one!)

[arlene]

i echo what everyone else has said...

you are not at fault and why would you even want to blame yourself?

what lies ahead for your daughter is a wonderful life...emphasize the positive and do what is necessary to make her life as full as possible without coddling her.

my son was diagnosed when he was 7 with adhd and tourettes...by 5th grade the tourettes was so bad everyone in his class was making fun of him...he'd drum on his desk, make head jerks...etc...he had only one friend.

he was put on medication for the tourettes (because of it, he can't take meds for the adhd) and is now getting ready as we speak (he's 14) for his birthday party for 20 of his closest friends...half of which are of the female variety...

school is still a struggle for him, but as I tell him, it's just something to get through to the best of your ability.

he's got friends, he's a sweet kid, and he's never ever said, "why do i have tourettes?"

to him it's just a part of life and as I have told him, and he now tells others, "everyone has some sort of disability...some are more visible than others, but no one in this life goes unscathed."

it will make her a stronger person...wait and see...it did my son...and it also made him more compassionate

[ReNae]

First let me explain what yodels are....a chocolate cake filled with a cream filling then rolled up and coated with chocolate!

Second - I am hearing impaired too, 60% in one ear and 40% in the other. My Mom is too. It does get worse with age. So I know what she will endure. Hopefully she won't have any tinittus.

Thirdly - I've heard wonders about those cochlear implants and I would want that to be her decision.

Birdie - thanks for the cyber hug and prayers!

Kim - thanks! Ya' know those warning signs? I never saw them coming, it was just BAM! I really didn't see her impairment until it was there all at once.

Gill - thanks, always could use a good cyber hug!:D I'm counting on some new techno for my tinnitus. VA University has made a device to tell the brain the nerve is now receiving the signals. It'll be 4 yrs. yet till they get it approved. I can wait.

JustjoGA - Will keep that in mind, thanks!

Allen - Will definitely keep that in mind, thanks!

Norah - Thanks for the reminder! At least she has my blue eyes!

Julia - Thanks for the hugs! I did check with my Doc and he's okay with it, you kinda recline in the bike and your legs are out in front of you so there is no pressure on your back!:D

kelleybee - Sounds like you've been there and done that too! Thanks for the kudos! Oh, she gets hugs all the time! Twinkies are my sons all time fav!

Twyla - Thanks for the hugs! I wish it was that easy! lol

Beau - Where've you been! (((hugs to you too!))) I'm in chat, usually every nite between 9-12 EST. You're too kind, ya' know!;)
I should be giving you hugs! I love being able to read lips though. It's my salvation! :D

dupliKate - Thanks for the hugs! Yeah, need a smilie for it! Sorry to hear about your identical twin! Don't you know you're suppose to always blame Mom!;)

Arlene - Thanks, but you know I'm a softie when it comes to my kids! I won't coddle her because that will make it even harder on her. You just never want this to happen to your own. I was always hoping it stopped with me. Now she may pass it on to her own children. I am really happy about your son. I remember chatting about him many a times. Glad he's doing well, especially with all those young ladies!;) I know, you're rolling your eyes now! lol

Thanks for letting me vent, sometimes you just need to talk about it.

Warmth,
ReNae

[TeAnne]

((((((((((((((((((((ReNae)))))))))))))))))))))))))) Thinking positive thoughts for you and you daughter. It's not your fault okay. Stop beating yourself up.

[PhilC]

First. ((((((((((ReNae)))))))))))

Second. don't play the blam game with passing on a gene. I know if you could of you would never had passed it on and so will your daugther.

I know what it's like to lose hearing. its happening to me. I have been putting of going to the Doc to be tested. I think mine is just an age thing.

Now the getting hit by a car I hope ya got a lawyer and went after them. I've been hit twice. I've never understood how they where not able to see something as big as me. Just give yourself time to heal.

I hope you can find a way to loss all the anger. Its not good to carrry it with ya. Wehn ya need to vent it just remember we'er here for ya.:)

[ReNae]

Originally posted by TeAnne
((((((((((((((((((((ReNae)))))))))))))))))))))))))) Thinking positive thoughts for you and you daughter. It's not your fault okay. Stop beating yourself up.

Thanks for the hugs TeAnne! I will try my best.

Warmth,
ReNae

[ReNae]

Originally posted by PhilC
I know what it's like to lose hearing. its happening to me. I have been putting of going to the Doc to be tested. I think mine is just an age thing.

Age thing or not, go get tested!


Now the getting hit by a car I hope ya got a lawyer and went after them. I've been hit twice. I've never understood how they where not able to see something as big as me. Just give yourself time to heal.
[/B]

Twice! Hugz to you! That's the killer, how could they not have seen me too. It was a beautiful day and there were lots of people walking...go figure. And you have no choice but to get a lawyer...no one will treat you, the doc's want to be protected and get paid.


I hope you can find a way to loss all the anger. Its not good to carrry it with ya. Wehn ya need to vent it just remember we'er here for ya.:) [/B]

I know anger is a menace. And I knew my friends here would help me through. Even the 'golden oldies'!:)

Thank you!

Warmth,
ReNae

[mistymade]

((((((((((((Hugs to you ReNae))))))))))))) And many positive thoughts and vibes to you and your family! ~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~

Misty

[ReNae]

Originally posted by mistymade
((((((((((((Hugs to you ReNae))))))))))))) And many positive thoughts and vibes to you and your family! ~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~

Misty

Thanks Misty, I do appreciate the hugs!;)

Warmth,
ReNae