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myenglishisterrible
05-04-2009, 11:16 AM
MY IMAGE(S):
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/upload_spool/05-04-2009/122009_girlonthephone.jpg


GENERAL INFORMATION:
Title: Girl on the phone
Year Created:
Medium: Oil
Surface: Canvas
Dimension: 50x50 cm
Allow digital alterations?: Yes!

MY COMMENTS:
Study for a new serie. People in the underground of Brussels.

MY QUESTIONS FOR THE GROUP:
That's not a question, but...<br>I'm a bit embarassed. It's easy for me to read english, but not easy at all to write a good english.<br>So I don't answer very often, or I give short answers like "thank you very much". And maybe is it not too polite.<br>I'm very sorry.

AlliKat
05-04-2009, 12:34 PM
Very nice study. I like how you painted her jeans, and the paper sack on her lap. The bottom is broken, she is going to loose her purchases, she is calling for someone to come and pick her up.

You stated this is a study, it is a very good one, and I would have liked to see more detail in her face and hands. Her face particularly. Her features are not proportionate.

The point in her shoulder is causing me consternation. Has she got a defect?

rainglasses
05-04-2009, 01:48 PM
I like this piece. She has a unique and expressive face. Like AlliKat, I would like to see more detail in the hands. Personally, I also would like to see more depth, as well as a bit of warmer colour, in her face. It does look a bit flat to me. But this may be part of what you intended.

The shoulders look a bit narrow to me, but that may be real for her. I am guessing that the lump that AlliKat refers to is a fold in the fabric of her jacket. If this is a study for a larger painting, it might help to give us some more clues to the "anatomy" of the jacket, the phone, and the bag(s?) on her lap in the final painting.

I also agree with AlliKat that the knees of her jeans are very nicely done. In fact, my eyes are drawn to her knees and the bag much more than her face: was this intentional? It feels a like a photograph taken from a low angle, possibly surreptitiously.

Overall, it has a good "feel" to me. [Edit: Uh, not the part about it looking like a surreptitious photo -- just the overall handling of the painting]

myenglishisterrible
05-04-2009, 01:52 PM
Thanks, Allikat.
The shoulder looks a little strange, indeed.
Here's a new version, with a nice shoulder and some others minor improvements.

La_
05-04-2009, 02:04 PM
glad you gave the chin another swipe ... this great companion piece for the guy on a bench too ... a backpack series = )

impressive indeed

la

myenglishisterrible
05-04-2009, 02:20 PM
la:
thank you! :-)

rainglasses:
I made it a bit flat on purpose. It's a bit Manet-like, I think. I don't mean "as good as a Manet", of course!
And, you're right, in my works the objects are most of the time more important than people. I would say too that people are considered more than objects than like human beings. Simply parts of the composition.

yarddog
05-04-2009, 03:42 PM
I like this as much as the boy.....love the knees.....face looks better.....cool technique...
look forward to your next backpacker......yd

tgsloth
05-04-2009, 03:53 PM
"Girl on phone" is a redundant statement. At least around here. As a study, I imagine you're trying to work out the composition and color/value balance. I think you've done extremely well.

AllisonR
05-04-2009, 05:52 PM
I like the changes you made, the warmer colors. Like other poster's, I'm spending a lot of time looking at her knees and the bottom of her backpack. The bump in the seat on the right is really odd to me. Overall a great study, imo. I really like the orange thing - looks like maybe an earring - not sure what it is, but it doesn't bother me because I don't think it is important that I know.

About the english - don't you think Flemish, French, a bit of Dutch and German... isn't that enough? ;)

Corby
05-04-2009, 06:45 PM
like the boy this is beautifully done. I like your mannerist style. I am wondering though how many of these can be done before they become too repetitive? maybe we need people hanging on for dear life in a Ferris Wheel and so on...different strokes for different folks sort of thing?

mooz49
05-05-2009, 04:50 AM
Your updated picture looks great Henri .....lovely work on the bag and jeans! :thumbsup:
....and your English is not terrible at all .....:D

rayji
05-05-2009, 09:15 AM
.. i really like your style! it has a somewhat misty, mystical, impressionistic quality that really draws you in.
ray

myenglishisterrible
05-05-2009, 02:31 PM
corby: yes. Always difficult to be varied and stay consistent. I think that's not a problem yet, but it sure will be.
tgsloth: here too :-).

yardog, allison, mooz and raji: thanks!