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TinaC
04-23-2009, 01:05 PM
MY IMAGE(S):
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/upload_spool/04-23-2009/117326_IMG_4174_1.jpg


GENERAL INFORMATION:
Title: Prize Winner
Year Created:
Medium: Oil
Surface: Canvas
Dimension: 10 x 12
Allow digital alterations?: Yes!

MY COMMENTS:
Done on a bit of an impulse for the doting Daddy of the young lady. Twas a bit of a challenge as the ref photo was taken in bright sunlight with strong cast shadows but I thought the pose and the moment was worth trying to capture. I wanted it to look like a painting not a recreation of the photo, hence the non specific background but I tried to use an approximation of the actual light.

MY QUESTIONS FOR THE GROUP:
I would be interested in the expert opinions of this forum on how it could be improved, particularly with regard to composition and colour. I thank you very much for looking and hopefully commenting.

billmahler
04-23-2009, 01:19 PM
Who wouldn't dote?
I like the lighting, and I think you've done some good work here.
Regarding the composition - if I scroll up so that just the tip of the jacket shows at the bottom, I focus more on that wonderful smile and don't miss the bottom. What do you think?

A few values ideas:
The light seems to be coming from above her to her right.
-Shouldn't the gloves be different values and temperatures?
-Maybe darkening the shade side of the helmet would model it more.

tgsloth
04-23-2009, 02:12 PM
You really caught her and there's not much I can suggest. Compositionally, you might have moved her a bit off center and/or not ended the painting a bit awkwardly at her knees but these are not corrections, they point to a different painting.

Other than Bill's points, my suggestion is first to glaze the background so as to neutralize the hue. You've got a nice, loose background, value wise but I don't feel like it should be the rather intense green you've chosen. It's a near complement to the reddish tones of the figure and accordingly steals the eye a bit.

You've also done a lovely job of losing the edges in her helmet but you've got a rather sharp edge at the bottom of her coat. I'd rather heavily blur the whole bottom of the painting. It will look more painterly and will help counteract the unusual compositional termination at her knees.

Corby
04-23-2009, 02:14 PM
Both the color and the light in this is pleasing. That particular three quarter length pose is usually done on a more rectangular format. The head works better if it does not come quite that close to where the frame will be across the top. It should be dropped down slightly so as to be more visually centered. That cannot of course be corrected here but is good to remember for future work. This is nicely painted! And a wonderful family memento! Congratulations to all Dad, Daughter and Artist!

MRSBB
04-23-2009, 06:47 PM
She is adorable Tina. I bet her and her proud Daddy are really liking this. She looks so happy to have her ribbon. I get the impression she was riding her horse, just a guess..............Lenore

TinaC
04-24-2009, 10:44 AM
She is adorable Tina. I bet her and her proud Daddy are really liking this. She looks so happy to have her ribbon. I get the impression she was riding her horse, just a guess..............Lenore

Hi Lenore, yes she won a prize at her first horseriding show, I expect all the participants won but its all about confidence building at that age isnt it? They havent seen the original yet, its still a bit tacky but hopefully they and the proud Mum will be pleased. It was her Dads birthday and we forgot to send a card so hopefully this will make up for it.

Both the color and the light in this is pleasing. That particular three quarter length pose is usually done on a more rectangular format. The head works better if it does not come quite that close to where the frame will be across the top. It should be dropped down slightly so as to be more visually centered. That cannot of course be corrected here but is good to remember for future work. This is nicely painted! And a wonderful family memento! Congratulations to all Dad, Daughter and Artist!

Thanks for your comments Corby, you are right about the format, I have just discovered buying an off the shelf frame is going to be a problem too!

You really caught her and there's not much I can suggest. Compositionally, you might have moved her a bit off center and/or not ended the painting a bit awkwardly at her knees but these are not corrections, they point to a different painting.

Other than Bill's points, my suggestion is first to glaze the background so as to neutralize the hue. You've got a nice, loose background, value wise but I don't feel like it should be the rather intense green you've chosen. It's a near complement to the reddish tones of the figure and accordingly steals the eye a bit.

You've also done a lovely job of losing the edges in her helmet but you've got a rather sharp edge at the bottom of her coat. I'd rather heavily blur the whole bottom of the painting. It will look more painterly and will help counteract the unusual compositional termination at her knees.

Thank you Bob. I had a concern about the background colour chosing Phthalo green in an attempt to be contemporary but I wonder if it jars with the earthtones of the suject matter. I tried to get round that by using greens as light black but... I will consider your other suggested alterations, fresh eyes are so useful.

Who wouldn't dote?
I like the lighting, and I think you've done some good work here.
Regarding the composition - if I scroll up so that just the tip of the jacket shows at the bottom, I focus more on that wonderful smile and don't miss the bottom. What do you think?

A few values ideas:
The light seems to be coming from above her to her right.
-Shouldn't the gloves be different values and temperatures?
-Maybe darkening the shade side of the helmet would model it more.

Bill, I take your point about the comp, but I kind of used the angle and the foreshortening to keep her dwarfed and looking like a four year old. I agree about the helmet, could do with a touch more highlight on one side. The gloves were both just black blobs in the photo (a phone camera) and her left one is largely made up because she was holding an Easter egg so I tried to just suggest them as simply and easily as I could. I will think about lightening her right one though.

I am rather suprised and gratified you dont seem to have found any major problems, just some really useful tweaks for this and more importantly future paintings, I really appreciate the time and trouble of the OC forums 'big guns', especially for an occasional visitor.

Thanks so much.

laudesan
04-24-2009, 11:36 AM
She is adorable, proud as punch, and you have captured that beautifully!! I love her smile. You have captured her age beautifully too. I bet Daddy loves this painting.

TinaC
04-25-2009, 05:08 AM
Thank you JJ. Getting the age right can be very tricky, especially with kids.