untitled, Stonington, Conn.

[Lorijo]

MY IMAGE(S):
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/upload_spool/08-13-2002/7448_stonington_conn_paint.jpg


GENERAL INFORMATION:
Title: untitled, Stonington, Conn.
Year Created: 2002
Medium: Oil
Surface: Canvas
Dimension: 8X10
Allow digital alterations?: Yes!

MY COMMENTS:
How does this look, does it need anything?

MY QUESTIONS FOR THE GROUP:
This was from a photo taken while driving by on vacation. Its this gate with a garden and house behind that I would have liked to explore. There was a lot of flacking paint and damage. At one time it was pink.

[Lorijo]

Thanks so much, I am glad you like it. Lorijo

(henrik as moderator: I am sorry, I had removed a post that is refered to here by Lorijo as it is not allowed to post what is known as a "kudo post" in this forum. Please see the forum rules.)

[henrik]

The bush and flowers, and path are lovely, but the gate somehow does not look finished.
I think that with a little work on texture and light/shadows on the gate will be enough. You could also increase depth by making the distant window and wall blurrier and darker to make the gate stand out more.

I few comments on composition also. Notice how the image is separated in a left (almost completely green) side, and a "stone/gray" side. There are some green brought over on the right side, but I think more would help.

Anyway, attached is an edited version where I modified the light and background.

[henrik]

Now, thinking "more of a good thing is sometimes better", and there is a lack of green on the right side, why not do more of the flowers. So I extended the canvas a bit...

[henrik]

Maybe, that was a bit too much. I also noted that the two knobs created sort of a flip-flop. And the top of the pillar on the opposite side could not be seen, so I added a top there.
I also thought that the path could look more inviting so I extended it a bit. I also added more texture to the pillars.

[Lorijo]

Thanks ever so much Henrik! I like all your ideas, I will try and do them all. I have to wait a few days, I have to take my son to his college. I was wondering about that left column, if it did have some of those ornaments on top! Lorijo:)

[henrik]

Well, I certainly don't know if the pillar had something on TOP (LOL). You have artistic freedom to add, remove or interpret a scene any way you like. Otherwise - why not just just a camera?

[Lorijo]

I did take artistic liscense already! All those pink flowers are made up and the plants next to the path are too. I just wish I would have had more time to look around that area! Now I wonder if there are pink flowers like that, a rare pink wisteria maybe? ;)

[Christine Mallaband]

Hello , I'm new to this forum, so please excuse me if I make any incorrect assumptions.

Firstly , it does look as thought the pillar on its own on the left hand side is broken off. It is difficult to decide with the plants you have created around it if they are growing in front,or behind it. Perhaps if you painted some stems over it it would change the plants position. Also you could make it look like vines or a climbing plant was scrambling over it.

I like the colours that you have used, it looks like the light is slanting in from the left, perhaps you could therefore intensify the shadows on the right hand side of the bush and beyond onto the building to push the window back,

Is the window boarded on the inside? If it were still glazed the panes would be darker, maybe a darkish paynes grey, (you could even paint a very dark hole in one of the panes, with cracks coming from it).

The furthest right pillar as I look at it is tonally darker than its neighbour- is that intentional? If the light is skimming across the plane of the canvas then there might even be a shadow cast on it directly from its neighbour, or if the light is slightly from in front itstop should be tonally similar to the middle pillar.
Finally the background could be interesting if light were to be getting behind the bush and catching the column and stonework near the window- not a bright patch of light but say a line catching a glimmer, or a few broken dappled patches.

I am no expert at critiscising, and hope that these comments are of some help. If I can work out how to copy your image I may try making some alterations which I will post- But as a newbie Im not absolutley sure how.
Best wishes Chris M-B

[Christine Mallaband]

Hi again, I tried doing some alterations via photoshop ( I have deleted your image, so no worries on that score!)
What I have tried to do also is by adding some light on the building and darkening some of the foliage, given a couple of diagonal accents to the picture, in that way i was hoping to integrate the sides more to give it a whole feeling- anyway see what you thinK
Best wishes Chris M-b:rolleyes:

[plumpfairy]

:mad: Well! How rude of you Mr.Henrik!
I don't appreciate you "spanking me" in public!"......I am still new here at WC, and have not read the "RULEBOOKS" which are supposed to be, according to you, SO OBVIOUS!
Besides all that, I believe that this web-site is supposed to be fun and NOT DEATHLY SERIOUS!
It is o.k. with me if you choose to remove my "KUDO-POSTEY"....but, it's NOT o.k. with me to be insulted for my lack of awareness!
Where's the love in that?:( :mad:
I will steer clear of this forum thanks to you.
jana

[henrik]

I am sorry if you find it rude Jana. However, it is not possible to post in structured critique without going throught the special registry process. Which you clearly must have done. This process was set up specifically to make the critiquer aware of the rules for giving critique. It is stated there several times that unmotivated praise; a.k.a kudo is NOT allowed in this forum.

Ciritiques does not have to be long, but they do have to be motivated.

[Dave Carter]

Looked and looked...much to please, but...the left side gate post disturbs me and I not sure just why...might just need to see a bit more of it to make it a stronger relation to the right side? I am as puzzled by this as much as I get when I'm stuck on one of my own paintings. None of Henrik's sound suggestions touched on what it might be that disturbed me so.....hmmmmm! Could it be the the post on the right is so 'strong' and the left 'weak' (less mass)? Must say the concept and coloration rang my bell:D

[henrik]

Dave, I agree with you. I tried to help things by putting a "top" on the hidden pillar, but I drowned in the mass of green. (So it did not help).

Christine went the other way and removed more of the left post. I like her edits. Several things I did not address where fixed.

Now the real question; WHY is the left pillar "uncomfortable".

(Speculating here a bit,,, would need to play around more with the image....)
I think the left pillar pulls the eye down into the corner, and it does not let it escape easily - the upward pull is blocked by the green mass, and there is no obvious flow to pull the eye back up again. Straight lines has very strong "eye-pull", and at the middle of what is visible on the left pillar there is a pronounced horizontal line. If going anywhere I think 'the eye' jumps over to the same horizonal line on the right side, but there is not enough upward pull there either...

Another reason could be "readability". We are used to reading from left to right, and like to be invited into a scene from the left. Here the path leads from left to right and that emphasizes that we should enter on the left side. but,,, our entrance is blocked by the left pillar. (I toyed with this when I edited, and modified the path, removed the left pillar, etc. but that only made other things worse).

Christine placed some green curved stuff over the bottom of the left pillar. It was thus reduced in visual weight, and the horizontal line was removed.

Don't know if these thoughts are worth 2c.... (1c perhaps).

[Lorijo]

Thanks everyone, Henrik, Dave and Christine,

I am back from dropping my son off, thanks to all for all your thoughts and help. I was reading about your comments on readability and flipped the painting in adobe photoshop. It looks pretty good that way but I don't like the path then. I especially like Henrik's idea of adding a third ornament to the left side. Also making the shadows more pronounced as well. My original photo shows very little shading, the sun was very bright on it. The window was still there and the sun was bouncing off of it. Another thing I found wrong is my ornaments are uneven in height. I will do a bit of fix up. Lori

[Corrie Scott]

Would like to see the house in the background recede a bit, so that the pillars and flowers stand out with more perspective.
Agree about darkening windows, and would also like to see just one or two blossoms (literally one or two) on the other trailing vine.

[Lorijo]

Thanks Corrie, I like your idea about the flowers and the rest. I hope to get back to work on it tomorrow. Lorijo

[Lorijo]

I think its done, I darkened stuff in the background, put shadows under some of the plants, lengthened the path, added part of an ornament, added a couple of flowers. I added some plants and building on top. Lorijo

[Lorijo]

I think its done, I darkened stuff in the background, put shadows under some of the plants, lengthened the path, added part of an ornament, added a couple of flowers. I added some plants and building on top. Lorijo

[Christine Mallaband]

This has a lot more depth than the original, please forgive me though- and dont shout!
I have one quibble with the new ornament on the left, its a little smaller than the rest (which is OK if there are plants growing over it) but (and this is my problem) it does not appear to be in line with the center of the column it rests on, maybe that is because that pillar is in perspective, so it would be moved across slightly, I did a drawing on the puter to try and explain- hope it helps!
lol Chris M-B

[Lorijo]

This is so odd, the camera did something, I took a ruler and measured the painting and it is dead on center and it certainly doesn't look centered on the computer! My husband said I messed up the painting, he liked the way it was better! There is foliage on the other ornament, thats why it is smaller.:confused: Lorijo

[Christine Mallaband]

I dont understand what has happened. I think the best thing to do is leave it alone now! We have all tried offering suggestions , and you have probably ended up with an animal designed by commitee- i.e a Camel !
Its difficult posting images , cos they never look the same on computer.
I hope your husband isnt too mad with us all!:crying:
Good luck in future, I must admit , I dont have the nerve to enter anything for a structured critique!
Chris:angel: M-B

[Lorijo]

Not to worry Chris, I am used to my husband's "critiques!" If it doesn't look exactly like a photograph then it is no good! None of the impressionists are any good either. No modern art is good according to hubby. A favorite quote of his, "It looks like a first-grader did that!" I looked at your home page and you should have no fear about posting here in the structured critiques, you do excellent work! I especially liked your painting of your grandmother. Lorijo :clap:

[Christine Mallaband]

SOME of my favourite artists are the impressionists, Degas,Seurat,Manet, but if you want to look at a woman impressionist I particularly like Gwen John. It is a shame that often Women Artists have not gained the same recognition as men, (maybe we are not macho enough!)
Each time I paint I KNOW I can do better next time.
Please, post more work.
(If you want to experiment before moving straight into a painting try doing a watercolour or pencil sketch first- you can decide on lights and darks etc - then you save on expensive paint- I just spent £8.99 on one tube of Indiathern? Blue Acrylic paint 60ml.!!!) :rolleyes:

[Lorijo]

Hi Chris, I like impressionists too, especially Monet. I haven't seen too much from Gwen John, but what I did see I liked too. Believe it or not I spent ages planning Stonington, lots of preliminaries and it still gave me a hard time. Every time I paint I never know if it will be better or not as sometimes its worse, but I do always learn something! What sort of blue is indiathern, or is that the brand? I am unfamiliar with that. I am lucky with my paints, an old lady artist quit painting and sold me all her supplies, for $50. Brushes, paints, canvases, frames. It was Christmas in July! Here is my home page if you want to see more of my stuff: http://www.geocities.com/lorjacgar/ Lorijo

[Christine Mallaband]

Indianthrene?!
liked it cos its a very subtle shade, hope this scan does it justice. I think I would use it in deep shade or in sea paintings. I will look at your link as soon as I can
Thanks!

[Lorijo]

Thanks Chris,

It looks like a nice indigo blue, like it would match blue denim? I looked it up in a catalog I have and it wasn't a bad price, but then when you add the $10. shipping there goes the savings! Lori

[Christine Mallaband]

Sometimes though its worth it! yes it is slightly denim coloured, but I would say a shade greener, however colour is literally in the eye of the beholder; how can we say that the colour we see is anything like what others observe. Take Monet for instance, he suffered from cataracts in later life, and his water lilly paintings consequently turned redder. When he finally had an operation he was truly shocked at the colours he had used (at least I think thats the story).
Looked at your website. I must say that the images there are so different to stonington, much more controlled, so perhaps this is a break for you.
Hope you continue to experiment, as thats how to learn!
Chris M-B

[Lorijo]

What?! Do I understand you right? The paintings are more controlled on my website? They were pretty loose and relaxing to do, where Stonington was a battle the whole way and finicky. I am ready to do something splashy now! With a big brush! Lori

[Christine Mallaband]

Sorry if I offended!
Chris M-B!

[Lorijo]

No, I was not offended, just surprised! Lori:eek:

[cobalt fingers]

I'd simply like to see the whole work painted as well as the green passages. You have some gret color, value and brushwork in that area. I don't see that eslewhere.

Fixing a painting w/o seeing th subject or knowing the intent of the artists is pretty tough. Think about ratio s in design like 70-25-5 or 65-25-10 this work is a 50/50 design.

[byron]

the column toward the center is out of plumb. and it looks like it is disturbing some people. not only is out of plumb but the two edges aren't parallel. thats my observation. people tend to see poor construction when it is in front of them in life and in art and it tends to have an unsettling effect on them. i guess no one wants a poorly constructed house falling on them. an observation facility probably stemming from our survival instinct.

[Lorijo]

Thanks Timothy and Byron, I think I am just going to re-do the whole painting with a complete composition change. I would like to understand more about ratios, math is not one of my strong points. I do try to put the center of interest not in the center. I have to take a break for awhile from painting.:( I ruptured my appendix and I am so weak from the operation I can't sit or stand too long. Lorijo

[Christine Mallaband]

Hope you are feeling better soon and that you continue to post!
Take care.
Chris M-B

[Lorijo]

Thanks Chris, I am sure I will, I had the operation on the 5th and am showing improvements every day. Lorijo:)

[cobalt fingers]

your signature image( by your name) is about one of the best designs I've ever seen-just paint more like yourself I'd say. Tim

[Lorijo]

Thanks Tim, but the image is one of WetCanvas's that I just picked out. I can't take credit! It does look like one of my plants here at home, hibiscus are one of my favorite flowers. Lorijo