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9dragons
12-18-2008, 05:10 AM
MY IMAGE(S):
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/upload_spool/12-18-2008/104147_2008-12-18_-_Flightpath.jpg


GENERAL INFORMATION:
Title: Flightpath
Year Created:
Medium: Oil
Surface: Canvas
Dimension: 30 x 40
Allow digital alterations?: Yes!

MY COMMENTS:
I spend a lot of time at a particular coffee shop studying, and that invariable results in random doodles of the place.<br>Anyhow, I'm doing a show at the place next month, and I thought it'd be amusing to have a large interior scene of the place. Then I got really nerdy and added a couple of my paintings in the places that I would hang them. Kind of my little cheesy ha ha to the world. <br>

MY QUESTIONS FOR THE GROUP:
Just general thoughts, criticisms and critiques. <br>I'm aware the top right lamp looks off round and it's being fixed. Can't really tell until you make it all small (alas the problem of painting in my bedroom where I can only back up maybe 8 feet)

canormorum
12-18-2008, 05:51 AM
I like it. Painting of a painting.

creativechrissy
12-18-2008, 07:07 AM
That would be my only criticism of the green ceiling light is too much of a focal point. It just keeps pulling my eye away from the other interests of the painting. Maybe if the cord dangled down more so that it was lower and maybe touching into part of the painting below it, it would unify a bit more.

I like the idea of this "real life" feeling it has.

tgsloth
12-18-2008, 07:49 AM
I love it. I also agree with Chrissy on the green light. Another way to deemphasize it might be to bring it into a middle value (it stands out now as a dark). But overall, great evocative colors and fine composition.

Where's this coffee shop? Maybe I can get up there, see the paintings and have a coffee with you.

9dragons
12-19-2008, 10:15 PM
yeah, now that you mention it, it is a pretty powerful presence, that green lamp. I will have to play around in photoshop and see if i can make it better. I'm afraid if I lower it, it will decrease the effect of distance and make it seem that it's the same distance as the other lamp? changing the value may work, or perhaps also softening the edges.

Overall I learned a lot painting this so I'm happy. I think perhaps I will just have to be more cognizant of big things in the foreground in the future. I think if I were to do it again, I'd make the painting a little wider, get rid of the green lamp, and place two of the smaller lamps on the sides.

TG: Yeah the coffee shop is off 51st street and Duval. I'm putting the paintings up on the 3rd of Jan, so sure, drop me a line if you're in town. I live like 5 minutes from the shop and would love to meet.

Long

billmahler
12-19-2008, 10:27 PM
This has a strong narrative as it is.

The value and color of that shade are intense, but we quickly jump to the other lamp and into the other objects in the story of the painting.

I might try to get some of the light from that dark lamp spotlighted on the tabletop to guide the eye that way as well, but that's just a thought, not a critique.

Wonderful colors.

Nicely done.

Make sure that TG pays for the coffee.

greensyster
12-20-2008, 01:00 AM
I love it too. It's strong and urban and primary - I can smell the beans.

Gemini IX
12-20-2008, 05:06 AM
Hi 9,
I just wanted to to say " This is so cool!" I really like everything about it! The colors are very pleasing! It produces a great mood! Kind of reminds me of a mondern day Edward Hopper.(one of my favorites)

toraman
12-20-2008, 10:21 AM
Great painting. The paintings inside the painting are even better. The colors and the brushwork are great.

Corby
12-20-2008, 10:32 AM
Yes, this would frame nicely. At first I thought it a bit scattered in composition, but everything does relate, and it is so full of interest. A simple gallery frame would enclose and present it nicely. I know the problem of which you speak about room to paint. I can practically reach out and touch anything in my house from the bed. If I want to see something ( nevermind paint it) from a normal distance, I have to take it to the yard! I think it does challenge ones work... (AISI)

birdhs
12-20-2008, 10:54 AM
Clever idea, tell me, was it difficult to paint your paintings (again) in such a tiny format? I can imagine you were a bit hard on yourself trying to "get them right". I so enjoy unusual concepts. Thanx 4 posting, it pleaseth our eyes.:lol:

9dragons
12-21-2008, 11:29 AM
thanks everyone for the kind words. To know that it exudes an ambiance makes me very happy as I was really trying to capture the feeling I get when I sit there.

It was very fun repainting my paintings smaller and actually not that hard to do. All the hard work was done when I painted it the first time. The second time around I already knew all the colors and the mixtures. The hardest part was changing the paintings so they matched the light scheme of the wall they were on.

mackb
12-21-2008, 02:36 PM
I really like your sense of humour, your paintings of paintings is a neat idea. I have worked in places like that and I too have lived and worked in my living room/bedroom/dining room. I really know the feeling of doing the starving artist bit.

I for one don't mind the green lamp. But maybe try glazing over the green with a bit of red and it will tone it down, but otherwise the whole painting is wonderful.