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Onewithwings
12-15-2008, 02:06 PM
MY IMAGE(S):
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/upload_spool/12-15-2008/140211_abstract1.jpg


GENERAL INFORMATION:
Title: Untitled Abstract
Year Created:
Medium: Acrylic
Surface: Canvas
Dimension: 18 x 24
Allow digital alterations?: Yes!

MY COMMENTS:
I *think* it's done... let me know if there's a way I could improve it before adding va<br>ish!

MY QUESTIONS FOR THE GROUP:
How does this look to your eye.<br><br>Any ideas for a title? I'm drawing a blank there!

Onewithwings
12-15-2008, 03:25 PM
Here's a better picture, the first one's a little muted.

Corby
12-15-2008, 04:39 PM
I am reminded of a section of one of my own pieces of poetry, while the paintings color is a little drab for the evocation of flame, I do see them as the 'small serpents', and their scales float in the air as if tendrils of smoke...

"Small serpents licked his ears
People had come and built the pyre
Nine days they came

Flutes playing softly down the scales until
Small serpents came and licked his ears
I realized then that he was a victim of his name
"

So you could touch up to emphasize the theme and call it by my poems title:
"Small Serpents Licked His Ears' or just simply "Small Serpents"

dianalynn
12-15-2008, 08:04 PM
I tried rotating your image to each of the other three possible orientations and preferred each of them to this. Feels too bottom heavy now, and my eye goes to the small bright blue spot on dark background, and wants it not lagging at the very bottom.

Upside down was great for my eye. Really came alive! And made me want to see a bit more eye-arresting hi-contrast work (like the little blue spot on darkness) introduced into the light tan area to get more compositional movement and spark going. The slight hint of grass motiff worked better upside down for me too - sort of a starry night wheat field landscape feel then.

Agree needs more life in the drab areas. It's not a drab painting overall, and I do like it for those subjective unknowable reasons certain abstract works appeal to certain people.

The brilliant accidents in non-objective painting can include turning a finished work upside down.

(Also admire you for having your priorities straight as a professional mom and amateur artist :0)

mburrell
12-15-2008, 09:16 PM
Kati,
I need to know the purpose, interest or problem behind your piece. What are you abstracting? Are you just playing with technique or trying to paint a vision?
With some background I think it would be easier to respond. As it stands I think it some staining and some transparent layering might help, but I don't know if your trying to have layers. I like to develop compositions for my abstract work that help make them more accessible. Well that's all I have. Looking forward to learning the inspiration for this piece.
Mike

Onewithwings
12-15-2008, 10:42 PM
The yellow-orange-purple color scheme came to me and I just went with it. I don't think there's a specific theme or anything that I'm trying to create, I want the painting to happen rather than overthinking it, if that makes sense. I like it so far, but I still feel like it's not quite finished for some reason.

mackb
12-15-2008, 10:57 PM
Onewithwings, You are right about painting an abstract. It is not so mcuh planned as felt, as the painting draws you in. There is no real way to rework an abstract. It happens as it happens.

I suggest you post the pic rotated the other three ways like dianalynn did, and let the viewers see what they want to see in it, as Corby did.

mburrell
12-15-2008, 11:15 PM
That's a good way to get going. Now look and listen to it, Corby has and he has run with it. It gave him a direction to go. See if it speaks to you, sparks a thought or feeling. To finish it you don't have to over think it, but a little thought will go a long way to giving you satisfaction. The dialogue between you and your painting can provide great stimulus or frustration or both. Hey! If your having fun dancing with it good. Look at it and follow where it leads.
Good painting.
Mike

Onewithwings
12-16-2008, 05:15 PM
Maybe something more like this?

Onewithwings
12-16-2008, 05:16 PM
you can't tell too well from the photo, but there is a lot of texture to this canvas, since it's what,the FOURTH painting I've done on it? The texture adds a lot of character, but I'm not sure how to photograph it showing that...

claude j greengrass
01-19-2011, 06:40 PM
re: dark on top

"...smoke above the flames of a wheat field on fire,,,"