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susie-q
12-01-2008, 09:24 AM
MY IMAGE(S):
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/upload_spool/12-01-2008/116050_wine_and_barrel.JPG


GENERAL INFORMATION:
Title: wine
Year Created:
Medium: Oil
Surface: Canvas
Dimension: 16x20
Allow digital alterations?: Yes!

MY COMMENTS:
This is a painting I've been asked to do for someone. The leaves aren't finished. I'm not satisfied with the painting...seems like something is off or missing.

MY QUESTIONS FOR THE GROUP:
Any suggestions on how to improve the piece would be appreciated.

Dana Design
12-01-2008, 11:04 AM
I'd broaden the table to 1/3 of the painting surface. The glass and bottle create tension being that close to the edge.
The cask looks like it is tilted back rather than completely round. Perhaps that's the way it is but I've not seen one like this. If it's not that way, then the elipsis needs to be changed and made rounder, more upright.
You could use some darker values on the grapes and on the leaves but as you're not quite finished, I'm sure you'll be working on that.
The bottle is done quite nicely as is the glass but the glass seems to be floating. Don't forget your shadows. With such strong light, it seems you'd have more shadows that are presently here.

Corby
12-02-2008, 12:02 AM
First of all my profound apologies if I offend you by taking excessive liberties. But i really want to just help. I realize you may not accept the suggestions and they are just that. Nor may you be in to what is virtually a re-painting of your subject. And yet to satisfy yourself as well as your client, that may well be called for. Your painting has many fine qualities but I think that in order for you to feel comfortable with it you need to make major changes. Dana has addressed some of the problems.

It would seem that scale is an issue. I cannot correlate the tiny glass to the bottle to the keg. The keg itself has to be viewed as simply decorative. Sitting as it is, there is no possibility of getting a glass under the spigot. To use the small keg, if it's presence as such is important, it would be necessary to raise it on a stand of some sort.

There is also a tendency here to portray objects not as if you actually see them but there is a process of imaginary addition present. We see this because objects are arranged around each other so they neither touch nor overlap as they would if they were a reflection of a real life set up. This situation very pointedly undermines the realism of what we are seeing.Your painting technique is in itself quite nice. It is just in this matter of composition and the relative size of objects that the problems occur. Here is a suggestion for utilizing the format more fully. Shifting the wine keg to a more central front facing position and enlarging it so it becomes a stage upon which your other characters play their part. The wine bottle, the wine glass, the grape vines and grapes. Dont be afraid to cover over portions of objects. Say for example you just love the effect you have captured in painting your wine glass. In order for the painting to read properly, it may be necessary to cover part of that glass with a leaf or a grape cluster. By all means do so. The gain is far greater than the loss... I hope this is of some use. I would also like to encourage everyone in the viewepoint that the knowledge present here on the WC! can save you a lot of work and point to principles and solutions to your needs long before you have committed yourself extensively to a certain 'setup' Our joy is in seeing your progress and success. let us help.

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/01-Dec-2008/70790-116050_wine_and_barrel.JPG