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ryster007
11-28-2008, 10:29 AM
MY IMAGE(S):
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/upload_spool/11-28-2008/83841_whiskey_in_the_jar.JPG


GENERAL INFORMATION:
Title: Whisky in the jar
Year Created:
Medium: Oil
Surface: Canvas
Dimension: 8x8
Allow digital alterations?: Yes!

MY COMMENTS:
A small still life, with the light source coming from back right. I wanted to get some of those refelctions and shadows

MY QUESTIONS FOR THE GROUP:
Does it work?<br><br>Any C&C is always welcome

lunchbox
11-28-2008, 05:58 PM
I like the look of the glass and reflections. The whiskey is a bit confusing. I was expecting the liquid to level and follow the lines of the glass, so Iím not at first sure what I am to observe here. Might it be some accoutrements to a whiskey sour? If so, cheers. :)

Corby
11-28-2008, 08:22 PM
I am missing the glitter of the icy cutting edge of the crystal, and the heart of fire in the whiskey. Still, why quibble? I'll have a 'Manhattan', up, please!

cbcarnell
11-28-2008, 11:58 PM
I like this - would love to see some stronger highlights on the glass.

gaensanger
11-29-2008, 10:16 AM
ryster, the structure of the canvas looks good on the tablecloth. But I think it doesn't look that good on the glass. Maybe you should do a little work in the "underground", that would be good for the painting. Especially on a small one.

Over all, it looks good!

ryster007
12-01-2008, 07:18 AM
I like the look of the glass and reflections. The whiskey is a bit confusing. I was expecting the liquid to level and follow the lines of the glass, so Iím not at first sure what I am to observe here. Might it be some accoutrements to a whiskey sour? If so, cheers. :)

I think there was a fair bit of distortion in the liquid due to the cut of the crystal and due to some of the reflection on the curvature of the glass you couldn't see the liquid.

Either that or I had drunk too much of it!!:p
Ryan

ryster007
12-01-2008, 07:30 AM
I am missing the glitter of the icy cutting edge of the crystal, and the heart of fire in the whiskey. Still, why quibble? I'll have a 'Manhattan', up, please!

Hi Corby
I think this is due to the high key of the set up- the brights on the glass are drowned out a little- there are almost white highlights on there I promise!:wink2:

Enjoy the Manhattan:thumbsup:

Ryan

ryster007
12-01-2008, 07:34 AM
I like this - would love to see some stronger highlights on the glass.

As I said to Corby I think this is due to the lack of contrast caused by the high keyed background

I might do another with a darker set up ( though I've been trying to avoid the usual overly dark still life cliche)

Thanks for look ing and commenting
Ryan

ryster007
12-01-2008, 07:37 AM
ryster, the structure of the canvas looks good on the tablecloth. But I think it doesn't look that good on the glass. Maybe you should do a little work in the "underground", that would be good for the painting. Especially on a small one.

Over all, it looks good!

Hi gaensanger

that's a good point you made and it definitely caused me difficulty on the more detailed bits of the crystal glass. Maybe another coat of sanded down gesso would have helped

Ryan

tgsloth
12-01-2008, 08:45 AM
You've received some good comments. I add some small points about the drafting. It's always a tricky issue to get elipses right when doing rounded manufactured objects in perspective. Unless the depiction is deliberately and artistically sloppy, the eye goes to any drafting mistake. I feel that the top of bottom elipses of the glass are not aligned and apend a photoshop wherein I've drawn lines to show some misalignment. The top elipse is also a bit sharp at each side rather than fully rounded.

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/01-Dec-2008/124239-83841_whiskey_in_the_jar.jpg

Dana Design
12-01-2008, 11:07 AM
Looking through the glass, the top edge of the liquid is too high. Seems as tho' you'd see the edge of the liquid. Presently, it looks like the liquid is crawling up inside the glass. You've got some nice work going on here so please continue!

ryster007
12-02-2008, 12:49 PM
tgsloth- Hey thanks for illustrating what you mean. I think I might look at the bottom the glass as you suggest, I've not gotten that elipse right!
Ryan

ryster007
12-02-2008, 12:52 PM
Hi Dana I know what you mean about the level of the liquid and I think this effect was distortion caused by the cut of crystal- or may be my eye, though the whisky is long gone now to check!

ryster007
12-02-2008, 04:35 PM
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/02-Dec-2008/83841-whisky_in_the_jar2.JPG

I've atempted to fix the elipse at the bottom, don't want to over work it though!

Is it better?

Ryan