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lunchbox
09-13-2008, 03:08 PM
MY IMAGE(S):
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/upload_spool/09-13-2008/116035_sunflowers.jpg


GENERAL INFORMATION:
Title: sunflowers
Year Created:
Medium: Oil
Surface: Board
Dimension: 11X 14
Allow digital alterations?: Yes!

MY COMMENTS:
Originally the background for this arrangement was an outdoor scene, which I then found too distracting – so I put the painting away for about a year and finally revised it.

MY QUESTIONS FOR THE GROUP:
Does this composition work? And does the container come across as old beaten metal? Any suggestions on technique? Thank you.

aspybey
09-13-2008, 04:15 PM
When I opened it I said, out loud, "Holy Cow"!
This is wonderful! I don't know that I'd have said the container was "old beaten" but I certainly know it's metal. I love the leaf on the table and the tablecloth, it looks perfectly draped over the edge of the table.

The flowers are beautiful and I love the rust background. Beautiful work!

cbcarnell
09-13-2008, 10:26 PM
This is just lovely! As this Summer ends, and we are heading into our Fall season, what a lovely end of Summer bouquet to enjoy all through the year.
The colors are so harmonious, and I like the textural qualities throughout the entire painting.

billmahler
09-13-2008, 11:22 PM
The flowers are wonderful and the colors are perfect.

does the container come across as old beaten metal?

Yes, as you suspect, there is a problem with the container - its surface texture is ambiguous. More sharply-edged highlights and shaded areas should establish the metallic surface, and some sharp-edged dents should age it for you.

Corby
09-14-2008, 12:16 AM
I was taken aback at the beauty of this! Nevertheless I feel that the light needs to be handled differently. The painting of the light is gorgeous, but the reality of how light acts is not correct. If the light is flowing in from the right hand side of the painting and highlighting all of the beautiful textures and colors as it does, we must remember that for our purposes in a painting the light will usually flow out of the darkness. So your bright colorful background should be on the left with the shadow of the arrangement indicated. The darkness from which the light flows would be on the right. This does a very dramatic thing for your still life. It puts all of that beautiful light struck foliage against a dark background which really makes it 'fire up' and the shadowed side of your items are displayed against the contrasting light background which emphasizes their shape as well as the subtle beauty of reflected light... One other matter compositionally. We have an awareness that the flowers were sort of 'squinched' in on the left hand side. Just let them flow freely out of the frame when they are in that position. That is normal, we understand they are out of our view and we accept it as a reality. This way the mind says...oh they were 'squinched' in!

tony1
09-14-2008, 01:43 PM
Beautiful painting. I thought the container was metal before I read your comments. I don't think it comes across as old "beaten metal" and I'm not sure what you mean by that phrase. Do you mean an old metail pot that's beat up, or a container that's made by hammering metal?

Anyway, it does appear as metal to my eyes, but I think Bill's suggestions will take away any ambiguity about it.

Great work.

Gwenlyn Norton
09-14-2008, 05:49 PM
I agree with Corby mostly, however, I feel, on the whole, it's a bit confusing. Maybe a little too much texture in the background and fewer flowers OR a few flowers that really STAND OUT amidst the crowd, and appear closer.
I'm also not sure what you mean by 'beaten metal.'

lunchbox
09-15-2008, 11:09 AM
Aspybey: I won’t forget the Holy Cow.
Cbcarnell: Fall was in the air when I began this. Beautiful season.
Corby: I have ‘unsquinched’ the flowers and changed the light in the background which did stabilize the piece. :thumbsup:
Bill, Tony1, and Gwenlyn: what I meant by ‘beaten metal’ (poor choice of words on my part) was to avoid a shiny, slick- sided, new looking container. :)
I am now quite happy with this painting, and glad I didn’t paint over it.
Thank you all for your good suggestions and help.

tali
09-16-2008, 12:41 AM
I love this!!!! The compostitions is VERY effective (to my eyes). The container lookes metal, not new, but not old either. Who wouldn't want this hanging on their wall? It's superb!

tgsloth
09-16-2008, 08:40 AM
Corby rules. One of his most helpful critiques. I don't know or care what the container is supposed to represent; I think its depiction is just beautiful in terms of texture and color. The treatment of the cloth is great too. I'd eliminate the "marching ants" embroidery as I think it only distracts.

Compositionally, I think you've got too many flowers. If, for example, I was looking to buy a bunch of flowers to please my wife, and set them in a vase for her, I'd think this one is too varied and busy. And therefore, even though, you've painted them very well, the visual impact is, I think, too busy.

MRSBB
09-16-2008, 08:11 PM
Hi Lunchbox. Did you notice most of the girls loved this painting, well me too. Love all the bright colors and don't touch those marching ants. For my 2 cents worth it adds to the appeal of your painting. Keep having fun.....Lenore

lunchbox
09-17-2008, 09:48 AM
Hi to tgsloth and MRSBB:
Yes, we girls love our flowers – and I’m certainly guilty of being one of those card-carrying members to several garden clubs. But that aside, I like the Dutch and Flemish painters of old and their depiction of abundance which influenced this particular piece. That being said – the sparseness of jjwoodee’s paintings are remarkable. Thank you again for your thoughts and insights – happy painting…