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shanbel
04-17-2008, 10:30 PM
MY IMAGE(S):
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/upload_spool/04-17-2008/138577_000_1899.JPG


GENERAL INFORMATION:
Title: Genesis One
Year Created: 2008
Medium: Pen/Ink
Surface: Paper
Dimension: 18
Allow digital alterations?: Yes!

MY COMMENTS:
School project...first pen/ink <br>....im considering redoing this piece...because i got tired and rushed through it :P <br>I want to focus the shading to the left part of the globe/ball.<br>-need to redo the "sixth day"....VERY RUSHED<br>Its the six days of creation-according to genises one. Gods hand is holding the world.

MY QUESTIONS FOR THE GROUP:
Did i use enough techniques....cross hatching/stipling....ect.???<br><br>Does the hand look ok?!?<br><br>Feel free to leave any comments :) <br><br>-Thanks!

Deesart
04-17-2008, 10:45 PM
I like the globe and especially the hand. The words patterned in the background are distracting and take away the focal point. Nice drawing.

:) Dee

pinkpetunia
04-17-2008, 11:48 PM
I really like your concept. I think it's a great idea. As I was looking at it though I thought... I would like it better if the lettering was a lot smaller and somewhat faded. I would also like to see Gods hand stronger and less feminine and for some reason I wanted the light hitting it strongly from the left and shaded heavily on the right and shadowing down to the lettering beneath. That's it, that's all the changes I would do. Don't you just hate people with to many opinions. Best of luck with your project.

La_
04-18-2008, 11:24 AM
nice job, very cool

IF it were mine ... i'd put a thin wash on the background to bring out the hand/earth more and fade the words into the background more ... IF you do it again, you might want to consider putting some curves in the lines/markers seperating the days on the earth, just to give the earth more round/less flat

looking forward to more from you, thanks for sharing

la

aszurblue
04-18-2008, 12:36 PM
This is really very very good!! I do agree, drop the back ground. I loved all the work on the earth!! The hand, a tad overworked, but supper as it is! Will you be doing this again in color? Azure

shanbel
04-18-2008, 09:04 PM
Thanks so much! Good suggestions! i will def. be looking into them...and, no, i dont plan on doing it in color...but, now that you mentioned it, i will think about it! :D
and, La------I used to live in Alberta! ....Med. Hat to be exact :P kinda cool!
Thanks so much everybody!!!! If/when i get around to doing a second one, i will post it up for you.
-thanks again :D

allanom
04-18-2008, 10:21 PM
When you use reference from another artist, it's proper to make attribution. Your hand and globe is evidently based on the litho of Maurits Escher.

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/18-Apr-2008/4031-escher.jpg

shanbel
04-18-2008, 10:47 PM
Sorry! You are right! I wasnt thinking. I am new to all this stuff, and i just posted them lastnight! i will make note of that in the future. Thanks alot!

KYRed
04-19-2008, 02:04 AM
Hi, shanbel. Yeah, you should have attributed your inspiration to Escher. That would be the polite thing to do. Now I know why there was a familiarity to your drawing when I first looked at it. I like how you interpreted the creation from Genesis One. Great detailing with the pen on this. I appreciate the way you included the text from the creation story in the background. Very good job. And by coincidence, I recently did my interpretation of the creation story, also. But I will follow protocol and not highjack your thread with my interpretation. KYRed