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View Full Version : Coffee and rolls, redone + Girl on bench


missswiss
04-16-2008, 12:59 AM
MY IMAGE(S):
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/upload_spool/04-15-2008/132729_P4030004.JPG

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/upload_spool/04-15-2008/132729_P4150001.JPG

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/upload_spool/04-15-2008/132729_P4150002.JPG


GENERAL INFORMATION:
Title: Coffee and rolls, redone + Girl on bench
Year Created: 2008
Medium: Oil
Surface: Canvas
Dimension: 14 X 16 & 18 X 20
Allow digital alterations?: Yes!

MY COMMENTS:
I have put the orginial of the coffee and rolls on plus the changes I made to it. The girl was done after I took a class with Robert Warren and it is his design. I painted the canvas orange and then took a sharpie and marked the shadows and then did the painting.

MY QUESTIONS FOR THE GROUP:
On the coffee and roll one, have I improved it? Do I need to now go over the doily since I made the back ground darker it looks like I need to make it darker too, not the whole doily, just the dark parts. Is this right. <br>On the girl, what can I do to improve on it? <br>Any and all comments are welcome and I appreciate all the help I can get. Thank You for taking the time to look and especially those who comment, even if you do not know how to help me let me know if it appeals to you.

Cherie Carter Magee
04-16-2008, 01:15 AM
The girl on the bench is a really lovely piece. Nice and peaceful. The draping looks great - I always have trouble with that! There is something that doesn't quite read right to me though. The touch of white under her elbow - is that a bow maybe? and I feel like there should be some of her dress showing in front of (to the left of) her hair at the bottom of the braid. Her body seems too narrow there for her shoulders - I realize she is turned slightly, but I think even if you have to make her braid/hair narrower so as to show some dress, that it would read better. Very nice work.

The coffee and rolls with the lighter background appeals to me more. I'm not sure why, maybe simply because I have coffee and rolls in the morning - so it should look like morning not night! LOL The lace work is terrific - I would never even attempt it!

missswiss
04-16-2008, 07:32 PM
Thank you for your input. The girl is a design by Robert Warren so I just painted what he presented. The white at her elbow is actually part of the dress where it kind of bloused up when she sat down.
Actually the lace work was quite easy to do. I was wondering in the 2nd one if I should go back in and darken the inside part of it. It seems to have lost some of its pop with the darker back ground. I also know the rolls should be more to the center of the painting, but did not know how to change that at this point, but will remember when I do another when I crop a picture and only do part of it. Thanks, Mary

Corby
04-16-2008, 08:53 PM
Hi Mary! The girl on a bench is beautifully done. I wish it didn't have the flash in it that obscures our view somewhat. I wish I had been able to look in on your re-do of the coffee and rolls. A very dark background like that can work, preferably done with mixtures of burnt umber, ivory black and flecks of your other colors. When it is put on in a rather thick manner with brushstrokes it is always going to scatter the light and emphasize the fact that its paint and not empty space. If you leave as is I would suggest that you do put the holes back in your pineapple crochet use a mixture of burnt umber cobalt blue and white. It should look neither brown nor blue nor white gray a darker more mid tone. Or if you are in to changing it yet again you could go with color and light and shadow.

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/16-Apr-2008/70790-rolls.JPG

missswiss
04-16-2008, 09:41 PM
Thank you for your input. It helps. I need to work on getting my pictures taken better. I read a piece today on how to do that ourside without the flash so I need to try that. On one with the rolls, I still have the look of the doily on the painting but it does not stand out with the darker back ground. I think I may just do another painting of it, move the rolls over on the picture, more to the middle and try it again. I may even take another picture with the same things in it and try and get it with some shadow on it. I will have to wait until I bake cinnamon rolls again to do that though.......:D Thank you for your time and help. Mary