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Cherie Carter Magee
04-15-2008, 02:14 AM
MY IMAGE(S):
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/upload_spool/04-15-2008/63494_STP81834.JPG

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/upload_spool/04-15-2008/63494_Gazebo_flowers_6.JPG


GENERAL INFORMATION:
Title: "Thursday on the Green" for Local Poster Contest
Year Created: 2008
Medium: Oil
Surface: Canvas
Dimension: 16 x 20
Allow digital alterations?: Yes!

MY COMMENTS:
Well, I started this late, not giving myself enough time to do it right - but, I've had this subject in mind for 2 years now, for our Local Art Show Poster Contest. So I finally took the plunge and started. My original plan was to include a few people sitting on the benches, and laying on blankets listening to the concert - it's a regular Thursday evening event here in the summer. so I thought the subject would be good. But I am thinking I will just leave it as is. I'm afraid I will really mess it up. I'm conce<br>ed the composition will get too busy, and besides - it is due Wednesday at 2PM! All good reasons to stop and just "clean up" and correct details only at this point. <br>I feel content with the gazebo, but feel the piece needs another one or two large trees on the right side of canvas - though not as large as the one on the left. I also think I need to deepen the shadows, and make the flowers larger/ stand out more. Need some detailed grass strokes as well.

MY QUESTIONS FOR THE GROUP:
Any comments on the musicians? I usually stay away from people in my landscapes, so this painting is a real departure for me in many ways. Aside from the fact that I realize I should have a clarinet player instead of the guitarist, any comments there? <br>I usually do ok getting depth of field, but in this much "closer" type of landscape, I found it really difficult. <br>Also think maybe the shadows should be a lot darker - but not sure - what do you think?<br><br>Don't worry all - we have plenty of very good artists in this community, so I have not deluded myself here - but since this subject has been bothering me so much - why not enter anyway - just to get it out of my head, and to get my feet wet so to speak as well since I've never entered anything.<br>I am working from a number of photos. see Image 2<br>Appreciate any and all critique. Thanks in advance.

thomas w
04-15-2008, 08:22 AM
I like the composition on whole, but it would be an even better skeleton for the rest of the elements you talked about - sunbathers, etc. I think it would have turned out very nice if you had more time.
Thomas W

Cherie Carter Magee
04-15-2008, 12:26 PM
Thanks Tom, I will probably work on this later in the summer when the Thur. night event is happening and I can get some good "people pictures" to work from - I'd love to get some of the regular "local characters" (and their dogs!) that come every week! That's how I always saw this painting in my imagination anyway so I will complete it for myself. (Although for the poster contest - I had heard a comment from someone in the Chamber of Commerce here that some of the past posters were too busy and therefore weren't too popular) Either way I would love to hear comments. BTW I want to apologize for the awful photo! Put this up late at night and didn't realize how bad it is! Have done more shadows etc since - will repost later today.

Cherie Carter Magee
04-16-2008, 01:48 AM
Well, I've darkened the grass, deepened the shadows, and added a few trees. Did I improve this - or make it worse? :confused: Any comments/suggestions welcome. Thankshttp://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/16-Apr-2008/63494-STP81864.JPG http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/16-Apr-2008/63494-STP81838.JPG

tgsloth
04-16-2008, 12:11 PM
I think the photos of you painting have got a color cast to them and are therefore not the best sources for criticism. An easy way to shoot a painting is just get it in the sun with the sun at an oblique angle to the painting and fire away.

Anyhow, I notice the following.

It's a tough subject. Very busy and muddled up so the photograph itself is not compelling. But you've done a good job in simplifying the composition. Adding the musicians works great and you've done it fine. A few folks with dogs would create a narrative which makes more sense. Who are the musicians playing for?

You've done the lawn in what seems to be a too intense mid tone green (assuming the image is ok). Look at the photo and you'll see the lawn is darker but with large light beige-y areas. This would look better if you painted it that way.

The puff ball clouds don't look realisitic. You had nothing to work from in the reference but try some other cloud references.

The path angles towards the viewer much more sharply than in the reference. This throws off the perspective as if the painter was perched in a tree. I suspect you did this to make the picture more pleasing in a two dimensional sense but it has sacrificed a sense of realistic perspective.

Spyderbabe
04-16-2008, 12:29 PM
Hi Cherie,

You've gotten many good pointers already. One thing that jumps out at me is the cross post of the lamp lines up on the distant grass/shrub line exactly. Why not bring the shrubs down a bit,on an angle?
Also the harsh line of the pole shadow is rather dark and the tree on the distant left has a shadow for the trunk but none for the dense leaves.

Good luck!

Kathleen