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MRSBB
12-19-2007, 11:23 PM
MY IMAGE(S):
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/upload_spool/12-19-2007/114956_100_0850e.jpg


GENERAL INFORMATION:
Title: Mountain Lake
Year Created: 2007
Medium: Watercolor
Surface: Watercolor Paper
Dimension: 9 x 12
Allow digital alterations?: Yes!

MY COMMENTS:
My goal on this one was to show clouds over the mountain peak. I see the Pine tree on the left goes right up the center of the mountain, which is probably a no no.

MY QUESTIONS FOR THE GROUP:
Does it work, How could I improve the reflections? All C/C welcome.

tonyjazz
12-19-2007, 11:51 PM
MRSBB: You've got a beautiful mountain scene going here! Reflections look good, trees look good too. I am drawn to the white lines in the trees on the right and on the water. They don't seem to belong but, that's a real easy fix. There is tension on the foreground fighting for attention from the midground colors. Some dark soil, land colors on the foreground would help that. Otherwise I like it a lot. TJ

Corby
12-20-2007, 06:19 PM
MRSBB! Berautiful watercolor! I find the reflections a bit color bright and too detailed. I would have added quite a bit of burnt umber to my blue to have toned the blue down. Going in wet int wet I would have introduced the greener greens (not heavily, just a suggestion of form. try to give the reflection the same forms of the reality. Once it has dried I would go in with an erasor and suggest the dead trees and I would not try to show the reflections from wavelets at that distance.
A difficult medium (for me) you are doing nice work!

creodont
12-20-2007, 09:24 PM
The pine tree can do that. No laws say it can not. Your clouds in the mountains work very well. The lines up front do not break the reflection. At times this may happen but as the others before me have said spend a bit more time and a minor modification and this remedy will add to your wonderful painting.The stream closest to me looks full of white water rushing forward and adding to a larger body of water. Ice cold and refreshing to drink from........boy now you have me wishing to be up in the Sierras again.........Well done....John

MRSBB
12-22-2007, 12:37 AM
Tonyjazz, thank you for the critique. I was also bothered by the white lines over the reflections.

Corvus thank you for the advice, I wasn't quite sure what you were suggesting with the eraser as I have never used one on a painting, so I just went back in and fixed it (I HOPE) as best as I could. I also toned down the dead trees. Do the reflections look better?

Creodont thank you for the comments. I guess we are all in agreement on the reflections and ripples. I've never been in the Sierras, Unless that is where Lake Tahoe and the casinos are, not sure. Anyway my daughter called me and said it looks like Michigan lake up in North Park, Co. Another nice area.

Here is my revised painting...........Lenore

graymare
12-22-2007, 02:20 PM
Lenore,
Your landscape is really wonderful. Prefer your original to the revised. Think the tree reflections work better in the first painting.

elijah_critic
12-22-2007, 03:34 PM
A very pleasing piece.

suggestions:

I agree that some darker colors, even black, in the foreground would benefit the overall color scheme. adds some variety.

There is no clear focal point -- it would help if one tree were considerably larger, maybe crooked, something. Also, the trees in both lines are of the same height, it would be more interesting if they weren't, even if it means distortion of the truth. :)

Besides, actually the reflection are the best part, imho. Great technique, too.

Corby
12-22-2007, 04:43 PM
Lenore, That is excellent. Now you need to make it part of the water. Notice that I drug the blue color from the left into and completely along the shore line so as to establish a demarcation between the bank and the water. (softly softly) then is is that you take the existing pattern of wave lines and pull them all the way through the reflection, completely over to the edge of the paper. Again very softly, make it show but dont hit us with it and dont fuss with it, simple is best. Once you have done that then go back between those lines and all along the left edge of the reflection lightly blend it in to the main body of the water so there is no hard line where the two meet, in fact a soft line should not even be discernible, just a gradual transition. Here is the idea:

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/22-Dec-2007/70790-reflect.jpg

MRSBB
12-22-2007, 05:45 PM
Thank you Corvus. With your picture I think I now understand what you were telling me before. I'll work on it later and hopefully I will get it a tad better, but right now I'm elbow deep in pumpkin and cherry and raspberry pies. Thanks again.........Lenore

MRSBB
12-22-2007, 08:52 PM
OK.......I gave it one more shot, is it any better?:confused:

Corby
12-22-2007, 10:08 PM
I think so. I dont know what others might think. I would now turn my attention to that far shore line. It is so weak it almost isnt there. Remember softly, enough to make it show but dont hit us with hardness and detail!

MRSBB
12-23-2007, 02:20 AM
Ok, this is it folks. I have defined the back shoreline, softened the Mt. edges and highlighted the clouds more. I want to thank everyone for your input. You have all helped me with your suggestions. Thanks, Lenore