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billmahler
10-19-2007, 10:07 PM
MY IMAGE(S):
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/upload_spool/10-19-2007/111636_windowvase.jpg


GENERAL INFORMATION:
Title: Freesia and Wild Daisies
Year Created: 2007
Medium: Acrylic
Surface: Canvas
Dimension: 8X10
Allow digital alterations?: Yes!

MY COMMENTS:
I've been doing workshops which don't lend themselves to set ups, so Ive been using photos.<br>The unusual lighting on this one appealed to me. One of the few advantages of using photos is that you can't futz with the lighting much, so it forced me to do something I probably never would have tried with my own set up.<br><br>

MY QUESTIONS FOR THE GROUP:
Does it work?<br>

Slurps
10-19-2007, 10:28 PM
Shadow around base of vase is inconsistent with light source and direction. Highlights on near side of vase suggest reflected light that would contradict the shadow. Shadow travels 2/3 of the way around the vase. Vase seems unanchored as a result.
Chair seems oddly lopsided - left arm of chair too low, or right is too high...\
\
Nice job on reflection of drapes and way edge of table becomes indistinct. A couple blobs of paint though at the drape/table intersection are disturbing the vertical lines. Looks like a conscious effort to blur the distinction of the reflection from the reflected object.

Pretty flowers. A bit effusive and overly large, but nice to look at.

tony1
10-20-2007, 03:19 PM
I like how light this is. There's a light airy feel to this piece. If that's what you're trying to convey congratulations you hit the mark. Being a painter that probably has too much darks in his work I always appreciate when people can do pieces that are "light" in color, and still get contrast.

Flowers are great, nice colors. Good job.

Corby
10-20-2007, 04:54 PM
The palette in this is so pretty! very attractive! I appreciate the values getting lighter and the chroma paler as the arrangement approaches the window. It does work, but you know how it is Bill...so many things are subjective and a matter of degree. I did my usual workup with suggestions. See if they are of any use to you. Really punch the left side of that vase up. Give us some bright whites in the reflection of light off that porcelain. Keep it a crisp edge. Conversely darken your shadows on the right and in the background. Soften the edge on the back side of the vase and along the back table line. Some flower blossoms would have their edges softened in shadow as well. I would fill that back area with shadow, a cool color to recede. I would diminish the intrusive presence of that chair to just the point we are not questioning what it is. You actually have room now to include another object by your vase if you would like more interest. The reflection of the drapery in the table top should be grayed down and it should end within the table top, not come all the way down to the paintings bottom edge. lastly those who love flower arrangements. If the arrangement is informal, then pretty much anything goes. But in a foemal setting like this appears to be, some arranging and symmetry is called for, so look at the balance of your arrangement... The purists (whoever they are) may shriek...but let me suggest some of the beautiful artificial blooms you can buy these days. easy to set up a real three dimensional arrangement that is permanent untill you are done with it. The result will be much more pleasing and the doing exciting, than using a photo ref.

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/20-Oct-2007/70790-111636_windowvase.jpg

billmahler
10-20-2007, 05:55 PM
Slurps, Tony and Corby
Thanks for looking and critiquing.
Maybe I should have put this one in WIPs because I wasn't at all sure that I had gotten a good painting.
The more I look at it the more I think the floral arrangement is overwhelming the composition, but it's worth trying some of the things you suggest.
Working 8X10 makes experimentation fast and inexpensive!
You're right Corby, I usually work with live florals or silk ones and this is my last photo - period. There's something about being able to walk around an object and see it from different angles that improves your perception and feeling of it.
Thanks again to all for lending me your eyes and artistic sensibilities.

sophia-h
10-20-2007, 06:02 PM
so refreashing......and delightful :)

La_
10-21-2007, 12:36 PM
ooh, bill, almost missed this one! love blue flowers, don't get to see them very much at all ... I like this, would blur the yellow on the chair top and calm the white curtain reflection on the table, but other than that i'd leave it be happily, very cheery

la

billmahler
10-21-2007, 02:34 PM
Sophia - Thank you!
La - Thank you! It's back on the easel and it's being transformed quite a bit. It almost went to Gessoland, but I still think I can get something out of it that I really like.

billmahler
10-22-2007, 12:07 AM
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/21-Oct-2007/111636-windowvasebluescan.jpg

Back from WIP with an Extreme Makover!
Thanks to Tony, La, Corby and Slurps for some excellent input.