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Claudia
09-22-2007, 06:28 PM
Hello: Quite new to painting, I am trying out different genres. This is my first of this type of floral. I posted in the Critiques and someone there suggested I try here for further advice. I did change some things, as suggested there. So what do you think, overall? Am I on the right track? What would you change? What is right? What is wrong? My skin is thick (well, fairly!) and I can only learn if I am told what I am doing wrong.... Thanks. Claudia

Lady Carol
09-22-2007, 06:59 PM
Hello Claudia, welcome to the Floral/Botanical Forum.

You have done quite well for being a newby to art and I certainly think that you are on the right track. My only crit is the left petal should be coming towards us a little more. You almost have the foreshortening working but it doesn't quite make it. Achieving foreshortening is hard, so I am thoroughly impressed by your beautiful piece.

ranunkel
09-23-2007, 07:51 AM
Welcome :)
You are of to good start, think you got some good advise.

Claudia
09-24-2007, 12:03 AM
Thanks Carol and Ranunkel. I can see what you mean about the foreshortening, but I am not sure what to do about it! Thanks for the advice and I will hope for a little more input. Claudia

rmc
09-24-2007, 12:35 AM
I think you've done an outstanding job on the lily - how did you sketch it?
I'm just wondering whether a cobalt blue glaze may help the petal receed in the depths and also wonder whether the form of the flower would be enhanced with darkening the center as there is such a strong contrast between the very dark foliage and the flowere.
This is quite stunning and it will take very little to finish it off!!!!

C_Line
09-24-2007, 10:49 AM
Excellent advice here. Foreshortening is really quite challenging. The trick, I've read it to draw what you see, not what you think you see. What's coming towards you is going to be slightly larger and then the segment of petal that moves towards the center will be slight narrowed as it's effected by perspective. This is really outstanding.

debsn2paintn
09-24-2007, 11:21 PM
Really a beautiful job, I really like the colors.

Claudia
09-25-2007, 04:15 PM
Hello everyone. Thanks for the input, as well as the positive comments. Sorry to be dumb, RC, but I am not sure which petal (all?) you are referring to when you suggest the glaze? I sketched the lily first on paper, from my own photo that I took at the Kukenhoff Gardens, dividing the photo and paper into four to make it easier. Is this a 'normal' way to do it? If you think the foilage is dark now, you should have seen it in the first go round! :lol: C-line, in looking at that left petal in the photo, I think I saw it as going to the left, rather than towards the viewer, though I think the latter would have been much more effective. If I could have pulled it off. And thanks, debs2, for the nice comment. Claudia

Charlie's Mum
09-25-2007, 05:25 PM
Hi claudia and welcome to the forum!
There's much that is good about his painting .... BTW, is it w/c? Acrylic? gouache?
I like the dark and changes of tone in the b'ground - so most of that's fine!
My concern is with the flower shape - that left petal looks so much smaller than the others - out of proportion .... but it would help all of us to judge better if you could post your reference?
sometimes the flash drains the colour and exaggerates the brightness, so you lose the subleties and contrasts ... this may be the case with the petals and why the centre seems so very light.
Regardless of these crits, you have manages your paint beautifully - well done! :D

Claudia
09-25-2007, 06:41 PM
Hello Maureen: I have often admired your floral art on WC, thanks for helping to educate me here. The painting is in acrylics, on canvas, 16x20. As you can see from the ref attached, I did change things in the background, but the lily is much as I see it in the photo. Any further comments from anyone are more than welcome. Claudia

Claudia
09-25-2007, 06:43 PM
I thought it might be helpful to upload both the photo ref and the painting in the one place. Thanks. Claudia

Fozbot
09-25-2007, 06:55 PM
beautiful, Claudia! i noticed the dark green at the base of the stamens. if you deepen the value there it may help 'explain' that left petal more and create more depth in the flower. it always seems to be the really dark values that give life to a subject and make the highlights pop.

Margaret 59
09-25-2007, 08:01 PM
I think it's a beautiful painting Claudia, and the foreshortening is caused because of a bend in the petal. If you look closely...about halfway down the petal you can see a straight line where the curve occurs. :thumbsup: :clap:

Charlie's Mum
09-26-2007, 07:53 AM
Claudia - thank you for the compliment! ... and thanks for posting image and painting ......... it's an extremely difficult petal to paint/draw convincingly! You 've done well to get the proportion right as per the ref!

I'd follow Foz's advice about darkening the green in the centre - and Margaret's about the looking for that line - it is there! From that point, if you glaze finely and gradually with a blue (cobalt) to make the centre areas of the petals oh-so-slightly darker, it will help the form of the flower.
Use a similar glaze on the lines/folds radiating from the bottom of the petals too.
I'm a fan of contrast, but I think the shadows of your stamens/anthers are just a little too warm and dark - they're much gentler in the ref, and a similar tone to some of those petal folds. Hope this helps :D

Fozbot
09-26-2007, 02:45 PM
Claudia, i took the liberty of greyscaling your ref and your painting so you could see the values better. hope you don't mind. i always work from a greyscale. learned that trick in the D&S forum and it translates well to any medium.

Claudia
09-27-2007, 04:58 PM
Thanks to all who posted including the last few: Billie, Margaret, Maureen. This has been like a personal art class for me. I have learned a lot and appreciate it very much. I plan to try out your helpful directions, Maureen, including those of others. Thanks for the greyscale reminder, Billie. I will try and remember to do that more often as it really does help to see things correctly. I haven't explored all the forums yet and am happy you turned me on to the D&S one. So many art opportunities..... so little time! Thanks again to all who helped me. Claudia