Portrait WIP

[bnoonan]

Hi there,
This is in the works but any/all feedback and comments would be appreciated. I know the mustache is too light - what else do you see?

Thanks for looking - Barb

Wallis 17" x 14"

:)

[bnoonan]

Close up of face may help.... B:rolleyes:

[nana b]

I love it!:clap:

nana

[bnoonan]

Thanks Nana - it's still a WIP and I see a lot of change coming in it's future....

Barb

[NickyW]

Hi Barb, hes looking really great, i cant wait to see the next update.

[Desiree]

Barb, I really love it, I think that the shadow under the hat should be darker to give the feeling of the big brim but I love the face so far!! Great Job! Cant wait to see more.

[mang]

Hi, that's really nicely handled
I suppose the main thing I would like to see is contrast in the area under the brim.
Not sure though what your light source was, perhaps there wasn't much of a shadow? Like the looseness of the shirt and your use of colours.

[bnoonan]

Hi Nicky. Desiree and Mang,

I agree on the hat shadow. Unfortunately I goofed and took this photo with a flash which is why the light source is confusing and you have revealed my flaws! thanks - even my hubbie who typically likes my portraits found it uninteresting so here we go with a bit more "Creativity". I like a good challenge.

The other challenge in painting this was doing it outside on the deck yesterday afternoon in the strong light and wind trying to blow the easel down. It then got chilly and got too cold to paint. Now I have to go back and find my energy again...

Thanks for looking and your C&C. Barb

[DAK723]

I have some compositional comments (that I'm sure you won't like, cause it may be too late do anything about them). The man needs a lot more space on the right side (his left), especially since his head is tilted in that direction. Normally, in a portrait, if the head is looking (or tilted) to one side you need more negative space on that side of the paper.

The blue hill behind his head seems too evenly spaced behind his head as well. Perhaps if it did not have such evenly sloping sides.

Forgive me, but I put it into photoshop and did a little recomposing.

Obviously, these are my opinions, and since you are such a fine artist (and so much more accomplished than I) I hesitate to make any comment at all.

Don

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/18-Aug-2007/82335-wip2rev.jpg

[bnoonan]

Don - Absolutely - help me out here. I take advice from any and all places I can receive it - and assess what changes feel true to me and my art.

Never hesitate to write.:)

I agree totally about the composition. I knew I had him placed in the wrong spot initially but then I was hoping to figure out the background later... a lot of good that did me. I didn't follow my own rule of "background first" then the head.

I like what you did but I'd have to learn how to "make paper" in order to save this piece so perhaps I'll just play with the background more - or as best I can.

I'll try cropping it as best I can - but maybe I'll have to paint onto a mat to make the painting work... hmm.. never did that before... maybe it's going to be a watercolor or goauche or something.

???? hmmm... anyway - do you like his complextion?

Off to my studio for 6 hours to contemplate. Check back in later... Barb:wave:

[bchlvr]

Coming along wonderfully.

[Orchidacea]

The eyes are amazing, as always! Overall this one seems a little stiff compared to your others. I'm no portrait painter, so I have no idea why... The skin tones are nice and rich, but maybe a bit too even? I actually like the black and white shot a lot better, so perhaps it is about the color. Keep going, Barb, you'll make it wonderful as you always do!

[RooGal]

This is coming along lovely Barb. Looking forward to an update.

Pam

[Deborah Secor]

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/19-Aug-2007/23609-barb2.jpg

My very first thought was that the shape of the hills mimicked the slope of the hat too much. I'd recompose the hills behind to balance the tilt of his head more. I think you can pull it off, even with his head 'too far' over--and probably better than I did...

The other possibility would be to crop it off quite a bit on the left hand side, allowing the space on the right to remain larger.

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/19-Aug-2007/23609-barb3.jpg

Think MESA, not mountains. That might help.

Have fun!

Deborah

[bnoonan]

Hi there,

I did this a few days ago and tried to develop the facial shadows and give the face more volume. Iv'e also brightened up some of the lights and hopefully fixed the mutache. Eyes are slightly different and the crop wasn't intentional but it may actually work like Deborah suggested - thanks Dee.

Any feedback? I think this can wait till I work on it more - the shirt is going to be time consuming and worth the detail.

Thanks, Barb

[VeronicaF]

WOW barb he is fantastic!!so life like,he really is!!
and love the background too

[t-sue]

Beautiful already, Barb!! Shoot.... I loved it even when it was just your first sketch on that cool background!!! the shirt is going to be time consuming and worth the detail. Can hardly wait!!!! :)

[Donna T]

How did I miss this before? This is so cool! I like the crop and I think his skin tones look great. Really looking forward to the next update. I also like that the background relates to the person. It makes him seem very interesting.

Donna T

[bruce johnson]

This is awesome Barb....I'm enjoying watching it develop..

[bnoonan]

Hi Veronica, Tammy Sue, Donna & Bruce.

I'm taking my time so be patient - but promise to post the next update either this week or it will have to wait till mid-September.

B

[t-sue]

You just take care of that shoulder.... I have patience to spare!! :D

[bnoonan]

Greetings one and all... well it's in final stages but I still see problems with this piece. Help would be greatly appreciated!!!

Barb

[Constellation]

Barb.... I think you've done a wonderful job of sculpting his face... it's very expressive and masculine..... and the complexion is great.... Donna Roth

[bnoonan]

Thanks so much Donna. I like this but see some flaws in it - I'm going to post up the reference photo and see if that may help with C&C.

barb

[Donna T]

Barb, I would recognize this man if I saw him on the street, your likeness is that good! He looks a little younger in your version, maybe because you have downplayed the crease on the right side of his nose ( his right). The photo also shows the light hitting the left side (his left) of the hat and it also is reflecting up a little under the brim on that side. I think if you lightened the hat a little in those areas it might give it a little more volume. This from a non-portrait person so beware!

Donna T

[bnoonan]

Great call Donna on the underside of the hat.

Is there something screwy with his eyes? I keep thinking it's either the tilt of the head, the hat...??? it's bugging me...b

[Deborah Secor]

Hey Barb...looks good! I love what you did with the background.

I think maybe the eyebrow on the right side (his left) eye is a smidgen lower than you've made it, which might be part of it. He also has a little more pronounced character lines around his mouth and eyes than you have yet, but that's minor! He has a wide, flat jaw, but I think you've broken the hairline and the jaw became slightly larger than it should be... Maybe just a slightly larger ear? Not sure.

Please go look at the figure painting I posted today and help me make it look half as good as this one, would ya? :D I love the bold colors against the pastel landscape. Very nice!

Deborah

[soap]

Hi there!
Well, its late in the evening and my eyes are tired (will look at it again tomorrow) but what I see is a great portrait. Wonderful, wonderful work.
The flash photo really made a problem though. Shame. But I think I would work trying to figure out what it would look like without the flash. The main light is coming from the window. I imagine most of his face would be in the shade. His hat and shirt would get the most light/contrast. I imagine I would aim to get really very subtle tones in the face - to suggest the shade. Hot tones as its flesh and the sun is shining, but small tonal variety. Make the face jump forward with reds and yellows and fall backward with cool tones. You know what I mean. Get rid of the highlight on his nose - its obviously from the flash.

I'd create interest in a very bright background - to suggest (the sun-)light. Fade out or get rid of the horizon and hills. Too literal and storytelling to me. I am sure the viewer will imagine those hills there. The lines of the hills are difficult to get right too so I'd get rid of them. The contrast with his hat and shirt will make an interesting outline, drawing the viewer into the more subtle and interesting tones and shapes of his face and then those amazing eyes.

Anyway, that's my take.

As to likeness - I think you're pretty much there. I only see there is something a tiny bit wrong with the (very difficult) angle of the head (I never get these angles right myself - working on it myself now!). In the photo I can see a bit of a double chin (as we look up to him). You've got the length of the chin but need to take a bit off for that double chin. Its too big now.
His lower lip is a tiny touch bigger as it looks a bit pinched now. It is also a touch wider on the viewers right.
In the photo you can see a bit more of his nostrils (the angle again), particularly the right one (viewers right).
Make the hat a touch rounder by letting some light hit the (viewers) right side.

Hope this helps!
Again, great painting!!

[CindyW]

Hi Barb,
This is a beautiful portrait! Love the color palette and his intense stare.
Very nice!
As for help...I always fall back on my upside down trick to see objects that are giving me a problem....the differences show up easier for me to see to fix. Hope it helps! although I don't see much to fix here! Maybe the eyes are just off a bit but you'll get it!
Cindy
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/14-Sep-2007/51674-Barb2.jpghttp://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/14-Sep-2007/51674-Barb1.jpg

[bnoonan]

Wow lots to think of and take into consideration. I'll be back at you as soon as I get over standing on my head.... B

[Orchidacea]

I think you've lost some of the firmness of his jaw. The shirt is awesome. The skin looks a bit overworked to me--a little flat and monotone. I'm no good at analyzing portraits, though, so take my words with a big grain of salt!

[HarvestMoon]

every STEP of this is already beautiful- in fact even the first one that is your drawing is wonderful!!!! love this one

[bnoonan]

Hi there Kim and HarvestMoon.

I'm in a bit of a state where I feel like it's time to put this against the wall again and then re-read all the tips. You know when you hit that point where it just feels like too much effort - well - I'm there and yet I like this so much I know I will go back to him and give him the facial lifts (adjustments) necessary. I love the fact that it's on Wallis paper so changes will be easier to attempt.

See you in a few days/weeks/a month for another update on this one...

Barb

[Tatijana]

Barb
Just add some additional lights to his face -under the eyes, on the cheek....
A few touches here and there will probably finish it off to everyones satisfaction.
Tatijana

[bnoonan]

Ok - back to this madness. I took a lot of the comments and moved both eyes, increased the ear - added more volume to the corners of his eyes and around the sockets, darkened the mouth a bit... etc. removed highlights... etc

I see now that his face is still shaved off too much on viewer's right but I'm not sure it's too disturbing - but I defer to you.

Frankly... I think his nose needs to be moved and/or his eye needs to be movd and/or - I need to put it to bed like I proposed.

hmm... Let me ask you this... can it stand on it's own? Or does it still read crooked to you?
b