Ink Well 2-26-07

[Ranger Dan]

Hello everyone, I hope you are all doing well. You (regulars & 'old timers') may have noticed I haven't been posting of late and I figured I should share what is going on in my life. My younger son has been diagnosed with bipolar and has had some recent trouble at school (first grader) and we are finding out that time of year affects many with bipolar, so we are quickly approaching 'March madness' during which meds seem to do little to help things. Of course, this is nothing new, just the diagnosis makes it seem a bit more real to us.

And my father has been slowly starving himself in various degrees (essentially, it is more complex than that, but in a nutshell) since the fall and is quite ill now. He had kept cancelling tests and Dr visits so it may be too late for him now. He is very weak and my mom is pretty much at the point of not being able to care for him anymore. Tests have shown pretty much nothing to be causing his (real or imagined) intestinal pain and now we are facing either hospitalization and/or extended care for him. He has been pretty stubbornly refusing help, but now has little fight left in him. Even speaking has become tiresome for him.

So, a little peak into my stress. I may not be posting these days, but I do try to catch the work everyone is doing and I'm enjoying that.

Keep healthy, if not for yourself, for those around you who care!:thumbsup:

[objectivistartist]

Still working on "Mother Lode", but hoping can get the grasses done this week [if nothing else comes into the fray - lol].... otherwise probably will be doing color pencil for awhile, as have couple projects there on the burner [including an old millstone leaning against the wall of an old red-tiled floor bakery, perhaps with a cat sleep in front of it, on 40"x30" illoboard]....

Hope things work out better for ye Dan - bipolar in kids seem more a pseudo-therapy for inquisitive kids than real illness, IMO, with pills to dope them into compliance.... as for the old man, fear of losing control over things can be terrifying to some - enough to rather die than forgo it - just a thought......

[ARTMUTT]

Hey Dan--

Both my sister and brother are bipolar--it has affected them to some degree in their life but it is manageable--sometimes I find it hard to understand some of their issues but they are very real. Do your research and make sure your keep on top of the doctor if they prescribe anything for him. The more informed you are the better you'll be able to find the right course of action to take with your son. The best advice I can offer is to just be patient with him--some behaviors and mood swings come out of no where with my sister and she just shuts down--and I sometimes get frustrated with her.
Sorry to hear about your father's issue as well....keep your head up!! we're here for you if you need to vent.....:thumbsup: :heart:

[DSPIT]

Wow Dan. You really have your hands full. I wish I had some great words of advice and wisdon. however, as old as I may feel, I have neither. maybe just words of enouragement, that regardless, you will love your son like only family can. You will care for your dad, as much as you are allowed. You mom will need all you have there after. I hope things go well, and let us know how ya are.

We still havent decided if we are coming to Phoenix for the Western Regionals or not. probably wont decide till mid summer. When I know, will send you and Danny a PM.
Good luck and be well.
Bob

[mebo]

Glad to hear what's going on, but not glad for the trouble you have. Hang in there.

I've just been working too much, not getting as much art as I'd like.

Marian

[MonicaB]

Hey Dan, good to hear from you, but sorry to hear your news. When you're sandwiched by generational problems like that, life is really tough. I had no idea there was a seasonal element to bipolar disorder. I hope your father gets his strength back soon.

Must be the time of year. My sister's husband passed away suddenly 2 weeks ago at the young age of 60. I'm very close to my sister, and was flower girl in their wedding. He's the one I drew the howling wolf for, as a label for his wine bottles. My sister framed it and brought it to the viewing. That's one way I never thought I'd get my art seen! Still trying to get back in the "swing of things".

I guess the good thing about family problems is that they put life into perspective, wouldn't you say? Makes all the daily hoo-ha seem like mere noise.

Hang in there, Dan. We'll be thinking of you.

[VineeD]

Hang in there Dan. I am praying for you and your family. We will see you here when you can. Take a little time for yourself to draw a bit every day. It's important. Even if it's only a few minutes a day. You need time to clear your head. It will help your whole family in the long run. We are here for you sir.

[mudslinger]

best wishes to your dad, dan. i hope things get better for him and your family.
i've been on hiatus, too, but it's because i just don't have much time lately... i haven't even gotten my lion finished yet. :rolleyes: i've been busy with work, household stuff that i've been slack on, and looking for a house to buy. looking's not bad, but not finding isn't so great. almost everything we've looked at is either a dump or way out of our price range. and so the search continues...yee haw! :rolleyes:

[marcs_art]

Dan - All the best to you and your family. I'll miss your postings, but I know when you get back to it your artwork will be worth the wait. Blessings. - Marc

[PVHooper]

Dan, thanks for sharing this with us, it is good to talk and you must get as much support for yourself and your family as possible. Having a child with any sort of disorder is not easy and draws huge resources from you. I have just spent the last six years dealing with an autistic son who now thank God has settled down into a "normal" life but getting it right took a lot out of the family. The good news is that this too shall pass and there will be good times ahead, you as a family will grow through this and find a way forward and your child will be a source of immense joy and pride to you as I am sure he has been many times already. Draw strength from the good times and remember them, as for the bad these are when we learn, these are times of wisdom accumulation and will give you a clearer insight into the challenges your son has to face as he grows up.

Now a problem father on top of all this is not amusing and sadly there is probably not much you can do to change him, you can just be there for him, love him, cry with him, be angry with him but most of all accept that proably he is the only one who can help himself. The more you fight him the more he will push back, sadly as adults we make our own choices and others have to live with the consequences, it is nevertheless our choice. | feel your pain as my Dad committed suicide in 1993 and there was nothing I could do in the years leading up to it to change him, I still however love him.

Get support, be gentle with yourself and those around you, especially with those most difficult and take time out to recharge yourself.

Prayers and peace

[valchina612]

Hi Dan,

I am so sorry to hear your news. You certainly have a lot on your plate at the moment, and it's probably a matter of taking one day at a time, which isn't easy. Please know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers Dan. I do hope that your little boy will be able to get the best treatment needed to help him somewhat -- our children are so precious. I also feel for you with your Dad being so ill. I can relate to parents being ill and needing our constant help. My parents are very fragile now, and I spend a lot of time with them. I'll spend as much time with them as they need, but I get so very, very tired and have to keep trying to keep on top of things myself. I'm the only member of our family living anywhere near them now, as my brother and his family are all in other States. I found that one of the best things I've done is to join an Art Group last September. We meet for 4 hours every Monday, and I call that "My Day". I have to miss some Mondays if either of my parents is really ill, as Dad has been lately, but if you can just make a special time to get away like that once a week to call your own day, it will help you I'm sure. Stay strong my friend, and we will always be here for you.

((Hugs))
Val.

[Jakeally]

I echo all the sentiments above Dan. You are really going through the mill at the moment and it must be so hard for you.
Talking does help though ... and we are all here for you if you need a shoulder.
Take care of yourself Dan.

[Terry G.]

I can't say all the eloquent word said here just know that "you are allowed" to shut down and just be you for a while.

and something else is if your married remember that she is going through the same thing and is also worried about you too, i learned that kinda late in life.

[Indyviews]

I am very sorry to hear about your troubles Dan and I wish the best for you. Much has been said that is true...One day at a time, and you will shut down for a while. I went through a similar period for a number of years but it finally passed, and one thing I had that greatly helped me was my art. Hopefully your's will help you in time.

[CPM]

To Dan and the rest who are feeling pain and strain, You are all in my thoughts and prayers. Life has a tendency to throw us a curve when we feel a bit comfortable. The supportive environment here in this forum has helped me improve my art as well as feel I'm not alone in having issues. I'll keep sending positive energy your way as I have felt sent my way a number of times. - Chris

[RachelFlyer]

Dan, sorry to hear that you're in the thick of it. Stress can really zap us - please take time to recharge.
Here, we're dealing with my Dad's (untreatable) cancer, among other things. We just kind of cleared our calendars, and decided to relax and spend time together - nothing big, just time together. It has helped.

Taking it slow,
Prayers going your way,
Rachel

[Ranger Dan]

Thank you all so much. I was able to read most everyone's reply before heading over to Mom & Dad's for a couple days. I felt very blessed and encouraged, many thanks.

Mom's surgery went fabulously and she is doing fine. Dad is rapidly declining, but we were able to find a hospice care facility that took him in today. There he will be able to end his days in relative peace and no pain. An adjustment in my son's meds ~ basically in the time of day he is taking them and he is back to doing fine. Well, that and the school has a wonderful first grade teacher and an extremely understanding and helpful principal.

[VineeD]

Dan, glad to hear things are improving a bit. It is hard to see your dad in this place. But, I know that it must be somewhat reasuring that he is being well treated and taken care of as much as possible. My thoughts are with you.

[ARTMUTT]

Dan,

Glad to hear a bit of good news from your way. I hope things continue to improve.

BA

[objectivistartist]

That is all indeed good news.... glad is all on upswing now.....:thumbsup:

[valchina612]

Dan, I am so pleased to see your update. It is great news that your Mom is doing so well after her surgery, and that you have found a hospice for your Dad -- that would be such a relief for you. And it's wonderful news that your little fellow is doing so much better now with the change of time for his meds. One thing that I'm really thrilled about is that he has a wonderful first grade teacher, and an understanding principal. That can make all the difference.

Val. :wave: