Untitled

[DraigAthar]

MY IMAGE(S):
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/upload_spool/04-20-2002/8060_InOut.jpg


GENERAL INFORMATION:
Title: Untitled
Year Created: 2002
Medium: Oil
Surface: Canvas
Dimension: 11x14
Allow digital alterations?: Yes!

MY COMMENTS:
This is another piece I am working on for the show I mentioned in my last thread ("Ingredients"). The theme is 'text in visual art' so I have decided to approach the project by painting scenes I've found that contain text already (as opposed to coming up with images and adding text of my own). I liked this reference image (a photo my husband took in San Francisco) a lot because the building really seems to loom above you.

MY QUESTIONS FOR THE GROUP:
I'd just like a general critique on this one. I finished it a few weeks ago and hadn't given it much thought since, but because it's for the show I thought it would be worthwhile to post here for comments. Better to discover problems now rather than later! I haven't been able to come up with a title for it yet, either. I've been trying to give all these pieces titles that refer to the purpose of the text in them. I don't know what to call this one. Advertisement? Identification?

[Ruth]

Hi D.A.

The theme is a difficult one. I personally don't like text in paintings, because it tends to draw attention to itself. I want to read it, and it becomes the focal point of the piece whether it's supposed to be or not. Then, reading it, I think it should have some relationship to the subject matter and I start looking for that. Now, that's just me. :D Other people probably have different ideas about it.

Anyway, having said that, I think there are ways to put text in a painting so that it's not distracting or intrusive. Softening the focus and edges, having part of it in shadow, letting it go around a curved object, making it only partly visible, peeling or cracking off its surface, faded-out, etc. In other words, treat the text the same way other objects in the painting are treated as far as texture, edges, light and shade, and so on. Also, if there's any visual connection you can make with the meaning of the words, it might be an added bonus.



If text is part of an object in perspective, as on a building, then the lines of the letters need to follow the same perspective lines as the building. In your painting, the building lines seem to have a vanishing point in the sky somewhere, but the letters are straight up and down.

Another thing to consider is the focal point. If the text is the focal point in this painting, then it's getting some competition (to me) from those red awning things. My eye keeps jumping from awnings to text and back. Maybe if there were shadows under the awnings, to solidify the dark shapes, they wouldn't jump out so much.

I think you could easily take this a little further away from realism and more toward abstraction, exaggerate the colors and flatten it some, and it would have more punch without having to repaint too much. Attached is a paintshop rework.

Now, this is very simplified, obviously. You could take these changes back to a realistic look if that's what you're going for. Or not.

Just my two cents' worth. :D

Ruth

[Ruth]

oops, forgot to attach: