Shape and position

[Wendy Booth]

This is a sketch for a painting which I'm going to do. In the bottom left, will be a pile of broken tiles - that's probably not clear in the sketch.:) I was thinking of going for a square canvas, I've not decided which of the two, if any, to go for.

What worries me mostly about it is that the upper right corner is virtually empty. Also, would 3 birds be more interesting? How about a bird flying in from the right? But this would take attention away from the decaying roof, which is really more of what the painting is about than the birds.

I could move the birds over more to the right corner, as they are rather central, but that would mean changing the whole perspective of the roof.

Please let me have your thoughts, because I thought this was fine until I realised how empty the right side was

[DanaT]

Hi, Wendy.

The birds have my attention before the roof in this sketch - that's where you have the greatest shape and value contrast (birds against sky). You have a great dark under the roof but that's not attracting my attention to the roof.

Have you tried upping the contrast within the roof area to show texture and lowering the contrast between the sky and birds? Then the right area may not matter.

[Mary Kay]

I think a third bird would be beneficial, but i would not place him flying from the right. i would place him farther down on the roof, maybe on a piece of wood jutting out from the roof. use him as a directional device, point him into your center of interest. the right side doesn't bother me either.

Mary Kay

[DLGardner]

I know this it a year later and I'm sure the painting is done already, but hey, I'm new here so I just had to add my 2 cents.

I don't like adding interest points like birds etc to a painting unless it accents or enhances the theme of the painting. If the idea is the decaying roof, perhaps a bird's nest in the corner of the rafter might help.

Just my 2 cents.

[Wendy Booth]

I hadn't started it yet d_garden, because I was waiting for people's opinions regarding the square canvas before I ordered one. And no one said anything - so its on its way!!

As for the pigeons, they were on and off the roof as I was studying it and I think it adds to the sense of decay. But, you are right about not adding them for the sake of adding a focal point, but I wanted to add some life in there to show that although it might be a decayed old roof to us, its actually a home to other creatures. I don't want them to take over the picture, but I don't want them played down too much. Its a picture of a roof with pigeons on it, not a picture of pigeons on a roof.

I will put more texture in the roof Dana, yes it does need it, but this was just a layout sketch. I don't really know how I can bring down the contrast between the birds and the sky - the roof is lit from behind. Perhaps I could bring them down the roof a bit. I do like them being sillouetted by the sky, but am I asking too much? I want them in stark contrast to the sky, but I don't want them to be the primary focal point. I can't have both can I?:)

[bruin70]

can't make a clear critique because you haven't placed in all your values,,,therefore nothing is clear. however i CAN say that your birds are NOT clear. they look like t part of the construction....{M}

[bmckamey]

go for the square!

i love the classic pyramid composition in the center as you have applied it here. the right side doesn't bother me at this point. here's a thought.. if your theme is decay, maybe you could change the birds from pigeons to crows. (at least in my mind, a crow carries that kind of connotation) also, birds that are darker will blend somewhat with the dark roof, and perhaps not stick out as much.

...just my opinions, good luck!

[gargoil]

Hi Wendy,

I'm new here but I'd just like to pick up on a point you made
What worries me mostly about it is that the upper right corner is virtually empty.....Please let me have your thoughts, because I thought this was fine until I realised how empty the right side was Don't be scared of empty space. If a song was all sound from beginning to end it woudn't be a song, it would just be constant noise. Music is the silence. Likewise in a painting leave space for the eyes to rest upon. As a breathing space. This is assuming you have interest in your painting - which you obviously do. For my money I would keep the square canvas for another time.

As for the birds they support the composition rather than leap out. The roof is the focal point. Assuming a rectangle canvas I would place tall trees behind the roof to the left.

Looking forward to seeing your progress with this one.

G

[Wendy Booth]

Thanks everyone for your advice. I have drawn a more detailed picture with clarification of the tone, but unfortunately my scanner broke. I will get a new one eventually, but not for a while. So, I will try my best to explain it to you:

I've darkened the sky so that this is not the lightest tone. The beams were never intended to be stark white, so they've been darkened too in varying proportions depending on their position in relation to the sun. I've also put in some more detail in the tiled areas to show how this tone would relate to the rest of the picture. I have not changed the position of anything and I think with the other tones set, you would be able to tell better that they are birds on the roof and not part of the structure.

I'm ashamed to admit it, but I'd never really thought about the message I was trying to put across until I started receiving your comments about this one. Its just something I never thought of before - I suppose that's the mark of a beginner. I find it difficult to put that sort of thing into words - which I suppose is why I paint rather than write. However, I appreciate the thoughts about the birds, but in my mind crows seem to represent evil somehow - is that just me?! - I want the picture to represent decay, yes, but not in a nasty way, I think the crows would make it look kind of sinister, so the pigeons will stay. :) I'm still waiting for the canvas, I just hope I've not lost interest or forgotten my vision by the time it arrives!

So, thanks everyone for your advice and I'm sorry that you won't be able to see any more of my progress. :crying:

[gargoil]

Sorry to hear about your scanner, Wendy, but I do hope we can see the finished article at some point. You say you're a beginner I can hardly believe that!.. More artists should be beginners.. in spirit anyway. Always learning and always growing. In fact one of my favourite saysings is:

"when you're green you're growing
but when your ripe you're rotting!"

c-ya

Gargoil
:)

[bmckamey]

great thoughts!

i want to see the finished one too.

[bmckamey]

by the way..

what canvas did you decide to use? square or rectangle?

[Wendy Booth]

Originally posted by gargoil


"when you're green you're growing
but when your ripe you're rotting!"
:)

Great saying!! Thanks for the notes of encouragement. I will be using the square canvas, I think it will fit well.