View Full Version : Critique Please

10-29-2006, 08:17 PM
Hello everyone, I was wondering if I could get some critiques on this painting. I am normally very abstract but I am finding myself drawn to realism. I will never go as far as to be a true realist, but I am wanting to mix realism with artistic licence.

I like this painting, but I am looking for objective veiwers, it could be finished, or not, should i build up the colours in the ocean more, i am afriad I will muddy things because I am very novice .

all comments good or bad are greatly accepted.


Edit: I have posted this also in the open critique section as I couldnt load a larger pic here

10-29-2006, 08:18 PM
Forgot the painting.


Lady Carol
10-29-2006, 09:01 PM
Hello Jay, welcome to the forum. You have some wonderful colours going on here. I like the balance of the purple with the yellows. Compositionally I have a bit of a problem with the boat having so much cut off and it leads my eye out of the painting rather than around and in the painting. If you ever revisit this have the boat on the left painting into the middle and this will help to keep the eye in the picture.

10-29-2006, 10:58 PM
or have the bow of the boat pointing into the painting, rather than the boat's tush.

I'm not so wild about the yellow sea, maybe if there was more of the sky reflected in it? As a concept, its interesting, but somehow the water doesn't read as water enough, for me.

10-29-2006, 11:08 PM
Thankyou so much for the opinions they are just what I need. on the open critque boards it was suggested I straighten the horizen and so I did that and added more golden highlights.

here is the painting with the changes, so sorry its small.

Lady Carol
10-30-2006, 02:54 PM
I quite like the yellow sea.

Also you could shadow the inside of the boat the edge furthest away from the viewer so that the boat doesn't appear to be so flat.

10-30-2006, 04:05 PM
Looking good. Has a "psychological" feel to it. Violet sky, yellow water, boat cut off and not in a sweet spot compositionally. Vaguely troubling.

10-30-2006, 04:17 PM
I for one enjoy doing colorful seas, this is a very nice piece over all. I would turn the boat around and add a bit of detail and shadow but if thats not your vision then leave it as is

10-30-2006, 05:35 PM
Thankyou all so much, I have a post on the open section so I could post larger versions. I am very afraid to turn the boat around, I am not good at realism.

I truely loved the yellow sea but it is gone now :).

here is an update of how the painting is looking now.

Id-art love your veiw of the painting! ( the only thing trouble about me is my painting skillz though lol).

I am protecting the painting and scared to turn the boat around. even though it seems to be the right way to go.


10-30-2006, 06:35 PM
Jay - You've got the painting skills. Worse case you might have to find some reference material for the boat online. Can't paint scared. Can't protect the painting. Got to be willing to risk all to achieve your vision. With acrylics you can always redo it! Throw caution to the winds, take a chance.

10-30-2006, 06:57 PM
i like the sea...the color is great now

Donna A
10-31-2006, 04:23 AM
Hi, Jay! My first reponse to your rather fascinating painting was, in covering up the right half of the piece, there was a comparative emptiness. Coverling the left side, rather congested.

I think your general feel which I think I'm "getting" wants a bit of a composition re-work. The boat's bottom seems to be crowding the bottom of the painting. I'm fine with the boat going off the painting, but it needs to not be positioned in such a way that the painting feels as though we are only seeing a not-well cropped portion of the painting. The weight of the sun is toward the right, the original red-violets of the sky were loaded to the right and the boat----likewise.

And I think, as both an abstract and a representational piece, I far more enjoy the colors of the first image you uploaded here. For me, it seems more an issue of composition. Boat a bit higher to give it a foundation beneath----and the sun pulling enough more to the left to give a balance.

Do be careful about the changes you rush to make. I have noticed sometimes in class when I'll begin talking to one of the artists who works with me that such-and-such is not looking strong. I've seem folks whip out a brush or stick of pastel and rapidly begin making changes. DON'T! I learned to caution first to not do anything and to really take some time before making changes. Know----really KNOW what the real problem is before you begin making changes. If not completely certain, do a small color mock-up to get a sense of the effect something might give you. We just do NOT have those wonderful "Undo's" which we have in Adobe PhotoShop on the computer. So----do ponder! :-)

I think any good representational painting needs a good underlying abstract composition sense to it! I would be curious to see what you might do with beginning the painting over gain with a redesigned composition----and colors not unlike what you have on the original. And would love to see larger images. We can upload much larger images here.

This does has a beguiling, haunting, fascinating quality which I like very much----unfortunately, the original more than the revisions, since I do not think the changes were addressing the actual problem issue!

Very best wishes! You really have something interesting here!!! Donna ;-}

10-31-2006, 06:31 AM
Thankyou Donna for such a thoughtful response. I am happy with the painting now and consider it finished. I needed to change the colour of the ocean to a more natural colour because I was wanting realism. Your advice to ponder and really consider before doing something has been taken to heart and I will remember it. I dont know why the boat doesnt bother me in the position it is, but as it doesnt bother me I will leave it alone.

thankyou everyone for helping me come to a happy place with this picture.

kind regards

Lady Carol
10-31-2006, 01:30 PM
Hey Jay, if the position of the boat doesn't bother you, then that is all that matters really. We should be painting to please ourselves as art expression of us. Well done for the tweaks and alterations. They certainly have improved a piece that I really didn't think needed improving all that much (eh? what do I know?) ;)

10-31-2006, 02:33 PM
I have to agree with Donna. I like the original best. I was very drawn to the color and the shift in the light in the upper left sky. It also had a freshness that I liked. This really makes me think because I saw almost the same thing happen to another painting that went through the open critique forum. Sometimes I think it is best to not change a painting too much--just learn from it and do better with the next painting.

10-31-2006, 02:41 PM

I think the change to the sea was a good one, and not just because I raised the idea.

The yellow reflected from the sun reads as a reflection now, the hints of yellow on the rest of the water surface suggest motion and waves, and the idea of 'the sea painted yellow by the setting sun' is still there, just subtler.

To me, the composition contributes to the mood of the piece.

Maybe the best lesson of all here is that there really is no one right answer - that different people have different ideas of what is aethetically pleasing. Each of the different clusters of suggestions would have probably led to an equally pleasing result - just different. Our job, as artists, is to be true to our own aesthetic, even when considering the suggestions of our fellow artists.

10-31-2006, 10:11 PM
Wroget and Tiasa thankyou so much for your thought inspiring posts.

I feel I have learnt a lot from the critiquing of this painting and making the changes, i wanted it to be more realistic so i am glad I was able to achive that, if the painting was one of my usual abstracts I wouldnt have changed anything of the colour/comp.

After i have lived with the painting for a few weeks I might repaint it yellow. The beauty of Acrylics.