View Full Version : hospital painting - critiques?

10-10-2006, 06:27 PM
heyyy everyone
this is a self portrait i did while i spent some time in hospital. its 16 x 20, acrylic on canvas. i'm thinking of entering a local art competition with it, thought i'd get some feed back first.

so dort
10-10-2006, 07:07 PM
I think the portrait is very good. I especially like the plastic respirator. The level of detail is great.:thumbsup: I would like to see more depth to your face and more emotion, like pain or a dazed look or whatever you were feeling at the time.

Good luck at the show!:)
So Dort

10-10-2006, 07:34 PM
This is really good - the flush on the cheeks and the look in the eyes....can't put my finger on the right word but it is certainly suiting the mood. And I have to say, love the hair! The way it pokes at the odd angles around the straps of the respirator :thumbsup:

I agree on the depth to the face, maybe just around the forehead area, on the top and left?

But yes, detail wonderful! Great work :clap:


10-10-2006, 08:23 PM
an interesting composition to say the least and you did it very well.. I had to laught at the hairdo...sorry

10-11-2006, 01:42 AM
Good work! Very realistic, and the colors and details are well done!!:thumbsup:

10-11-2006, 01:48 AM
This is different to say the least. Well done and I have to agree with Dreamz on the hairdo, very well captured.

10-11-2006, 05:59 PM
thanks for the feedback everyone :)
i'll definitely think about putting in more shadow on the forehead.
i don't think i was feeling anything when i was going through it - numb really. trying not to think at all, to ignore the pain, to ignore everything going on around me.
and yeah the hairdo is pretty funny - i had to laugh at it myself.

10-11-2006, 10:44 PM
Do enter it, it's fabulously different! bet they don't have other portraits there like this!
I think it needs shadow on the pillow to 'ground' the head. Good luck! and I do hope you are recovered now? Not surprised you were feeling numb, by the look of all that paraphernalia (sp?) you were in a bad way.

10-11-2006, 11:15 PM
I love the painting. You said:

i don't think i was feeling anything when i was going through it - numb really. trying not to think at all, to ignore the pain, to ignore everything going on around me.

I find that really interesting, because I see the cool sort of detached objectivity in the painting. Although our circumstances were probably very different, as someone who has spent time hooked up to one of those things, I can relate rather well to the feel of the painting. Whether you were trying to or not, it captures that (for lack of a better word usage) "cold detached hospital feel" for me.

10-12-2006, 11:13 AM
lulu - yeah i'm not really so sure what to do with pillow, i'm still kind of contemplating it. it does need more depth, but its getting it right that i'm working on.
sir-real - i was definitely going for the detached hospital feel. that feeling of being numb, just to make it through.
sadly i'm not recovered, i have a chronic illness, this was a night of testing (woopeee joy) but i don't ever have to do it again,so that makes me happy!

10-13-2006, 11:55 AM
It is very different, nothing I have ever seen before. You did a great job.
I am sorry you have not recovered, but hope you feel better

10-13-2006, 12:25 PM
Well done!:clap: ...and different for sure! I bet it would do well in a show!
Hope you're feeling much better now!!

10-13-2006, 12:32 PM
being a nurse I like it. I like your eyes. They say a lot. Do you have sleep apnea? that looks like a cpap to me Not a respirator. Good job on the equipment , you really took a good look at it did'nt you. Feel better soon. Peg L

10-13-2006, 02:08 PM
ME/CFS? Me too, well into recovery mode now, going to the gym, travelling etc so take heart.

Charlie's Mum
10-13-2006, 04:58 PM
Certainly different! .... and, I think, a lot of knowledge here!
Talk about suffering for one's art! (Sorry!) - but I think you must have a sense of humour to be able to cope.
The face, eyes, hair - and the paraphernalia - are excellent - just some shadow under/around the head to make it sink into the pillow .... you need some comfort! :lol:

11-02-2006, 01:36 PM
heyyy everyone
thank you so much for your kind words. lulu, i'm sorry to hear that you're in the fight with me. i'm doing okay right now, kind of up and down. i'm happy to hear that you're in the recovery stages :)
peglatt - yep, its a cpap machine, you're right on. hated the damn thing.
Charlie's Mum - i did fix up the pillow, i'll post a picture of the fixed up version soon.
here's the bad news - the painting got rejected for the juried show, but the other painting i entered (a simple portrait of myself and my best friend) was accepted. but in my opinion, and everyone else's, this painting was better. however, every other painting entered was a watercolour flower or landscape, and i was the youngest participant (everyone else is at least 40 - average age is 60). so i guess this was just too different. i'm kind of disappointed and a little discouraged, but i won't give up. just slightly confused as to what exactly was so awful about it!
thanks everyone

Charlie's Mum
11-02-2006, 01:48 PM
Congrats on having a painting accepted - even if you prefer this one!
Perhaps it's not that this painting is 'awful' - because it isn't! - maybe just that it unsettles viewers when they wish to be calmed or soothed!
Perhaps it's 'too close to home' for some people, reminding them of painful periods in their own lives ......... we cannot all like, or want to look at, the same thing!
So please don't be upset or feel rejected - instead, be bouyed by the fact that you, much younger than the others, have had a painting accepted :D

11-02-2006, 01:59 PM
thanks maureen :)
that helps a lot. i might find a different competition to enter it into, give it another go. thats true that we can't all like the same thing, i guess i just hoped that the juror would be more open-minded than that. naivete i know, but i'm an eternal optimist haha. and i'm still pretty happy that at least ONE painting got accepted, so we'll see how that one does.
thanks for the encouragement, it helped a lot :)

11-02-2006, 03:51 PM
Wow, this painting is incredibly well done! The detail is exceptional, especially the hair and plastic. As for the show - I think you just need to find a younger more resilient crowd. Just from what you said about the jurors, they sound pretty stodgy and set in their ways! :lol: God forbid you introduce such an uncomfortable idea into their tidy little world!!:eek: Sorry, my cynical side is showing!

Anyway, I really like how this painting puts things into perspective for my. It definitely makes my chronic problems pale in comparison...especially since I've never had to spend a night in the hospital!

Keep 'em coming...would love to see more!

11-02-2006, 05:11 PM
If you were the youngest one "they" did not want to recognize thier own foibles , Have you tried the nasal pilloes? my husband finds them more comf than the mask. I still think it was a great painting. Cheers Peg lattinville

11-03-2006, 07:36 AM
oops the is nasal pillows. He finds it less clautraphobic than the entire mask. I have finally been able to sleep inthe same room after about 5yrs. I kept telling the MD he had severe sleep apnea. I wold count the seconds waitng for him to nest breath. I told the MD that the only thing that really upset me was that it took 5 yrs to get someone to listen to me. He had no answer for me. (it's the nurse DR. thing) So feel better ,check out the pillows and see how you do. They also finally gave him some lunesta and that seems to help. Good Luck Peg Lattinville

11-10-2006, 10:59 AM
Thanks wintersrose - that does actually make me feel better. I never looked at it like that.
Thanks to you too peglatt - its nice to hear good feedback even if certain others didn't like it so much. as for me, i didn't have sleep apnea, they were just testing me out for it, because i have so many other chronic conditions which do cause me to have trouble sleeping, but in the end, its cus i'm in so much pain or i'm stressed, rather than breathing problems. so fortunately no nasal pillows or CPAP machines for me! but at least they helped your husband, that's really really fortunate.
thanks again

11-10-2006, 08:20 PM
It's unfortunate that the jury wasn't a bit open minded. You have done an excellent job depicting, something most folks don't want to contemplate. Best of luck with your health, I look forward to seeing more of your work

11-10-2006, 09:07 PM
It was a shame it wasn't accepted, but like Charlie's Mum said, some like to have art to soothe and calm - and yes, this may have been too confronting for some. But in no way is this not a good painting - it really is...and your talent is very recognised in the fact that they did select another of your paintings. Please don't feel discouraged, it would be a wasted emotion for someone with a talent to depict human emotion so tenderly. :)


11-12-2006, 05:04 PM
Faded and cookiem - my father said the same thing about it being something that not too many people would like to contemplate on a library wall. so i'm no longer discouraged. the amazing feedback here is even more encouraging. thank you all soo much. especially your comment cookiem about a "talent to depict human emotion so tenderly". thank you sooo much. thats exactly what i'm trying to do and knowing that somebody was touched by it...well it means a lot.
i think i may find another art competition to enter it in instead.
thank you all :)

Marge Wms
11-13-2006, 02:29 AM
I LOVE the way you've depicted the typical hospital hair style! You seem so very young to have anything chronic. When I first looked at the painting I didn't SEE it all that well and thought you had pulled a Salvidor Dali type self portrait! LOL Then with it enlarged, I could see exactly what they were talking about with the pillow shadow thingy... and the kinda glazed over eyes.That IS the way people look in these kind of contraptions. You should do very, very well with this one in a show. Good luck.. Gigi

Marge Wms
11-13-2006, 02:41 AM
Hi, Nympheas! Just had a thought... this one would be GREAT hanging in a doctor's office or hospital testing lab, where everyone who saw it would be able to relate to it and recognize themselves! Gigi

11-16-2006, 06:06 PM
Thanks Gigi for your kind words. i never thought of putting it in a doctors office...that has potential. i'll have to mull that one over. genius :)