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Deborah Secor
06-05-2006, 11:32 PM
I need new eyes to look at this one for me. I have to finish it to enter in a show and I think it's coming along--but I can't see it anymore!

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/05-Jun-2006/23609-The_Edge_sm.jpg

The Edge, 18x24" on Wallis paper. This is it's third incarnation, after taking a long break from it. I love the foreground, the colors, shapes, and highlights there. The cloud is the new part. I like it too--but haven't had six months to mull it over.

So--is it working?

Deborah

David Patterson
06-05-2006, 11:54 PM
WOW! This looks fine to me Deborah - it's such a bold dramatic scene. I'm not sure why you would want to add, or change anything. Of course - this is coming from a novice!:)

David

MarshaSavage
06-06-2006, 06:52 AM
Deborah,
One thing I keep looking at is the left side where the land makes a slight up-turn. The cloud also has the same sweeping up-turn and it kind of makes me feel the earth is moving. Not a major thing, but reminds me of someone having two shapes, one above the other, that mimic each other. Makes me feel that everything is tilted.

Kathryn Wilson
06-06-2006, 08:19 AM
Ooooh, Deborah, this is so dramatic - it will be a show stopper.

Two things to think about - the band of clouds near the horizon just "kiss" the top of the mesa.

The other is in the upper right-hand corner - my eye is drawn there to that lighter blue.

LEIGH RUST
06-06-2006, 08:58 AM
I love it! The cloud is incredibly dramatic but I do think its overpowering the wonderful work you done on the land. I might suggest some lighter tones as highlights on the cloud to help with the aerial perspective and let the eye travel down a bit easier. Best of luck!

Tom Christopher
06-06-2006, 09:08 AM
It looks ready for a frame and a show to me --the only slight change I would suggest is a degree darker in the fore side of the storm cloud-may enhance the distance light---however I am used to dark threatening skies here in the midwwest. The contrast in the distance near the horizon is first rate.. Deborah... thank you Tom

Bill Foehringer
06-06-2006, 09:17 AM
There are several horizontal lines in your composition. These horizontals do lend a calming counterpoint to a dramatic composition. (good thing)
The distant purple clouds near the horizon just touch the top of the flat hill. The bushes in the foreground don't break the boundary of earth and sky.
I'm just pointing these things out for you to take another look at them. Is the balance of drama and calm just right? I don't think I have a subtle enough eye to judge.
The distant hill should either be below or overlap those distant clouds not kiss them?
I would cut out some dark silhouettes of foreground bushes and push them up into the light sky a bit to see if breaking those horizontals is beneficial.
Also the bushes seem to make their own horizontal line.
I like the colors and values and over all composition. The translusency in the bluish purple areas of the large cloud are wonderful. The orange edge reads as brilliant without overdoing it. IMHO. BillF
PS Someday I hope to work in a scale such as this with as much skill as you demonstrate.

Nancy Leone
06-06-2006, 09:18 AM
Spectacular!!!
The land and lower clouds are just beautiful. Like Kat, my eye is drawn to the upper right-hand corner a bit more than I would like.
Looks like a winner to me.

Mike_Beeman
06-06-2006, 09:56 AM
Hi Deb...very nice ...reminds me of some of the skies we see here outside of town, that I keep thinking I should paint. I especially like the light yellow/gold band in the middle ground and my eye keeps looking for it to extend some to the left under the hill...something lighter in value. On my monitor the value transition in the sky reads very well and I like the warm to cool sensation you've provided....not only in the sky but also the foreground. I don't think you need six months to mull this one over...!!

Deborah Secor
06-06-2006, 11:37 AM
One thing I keep looking at is the left side where the land makes a slight up-turn. The cloud also has the same sweeping up-turn and it kind of makes me feel the earth is moving.
Yes--never saw that! Good catch.



Two things to think about - the band of clouds near the horizon just "kiss" the top of the mesa.The distant purple clouds near the horizon just touch the top of the flat hill.The distant hill should either be below or overlap those distant clouds not kiss them?I sorta like the kissing in this instance, since this painting is all about edges to me, but I may play with some breaks in the sky above the mesa to break the edge up a bit and yet let it float just beyond the mesa edges on each side... Thanks--I need to think about this part!




The other is in the upper right-hand corner - my eye is drawn there to that lighter blue.Like Kat, my eye is drawn to the upper right-hand corner a bit more than I would like.
I think maybe the sky needs to be darker, less distracting. Thanks.




The bushes in the foreground don't break the boundary of earth and sky.I would cut out some dark silhouettes of foreground bushes and push them up into the light sky a bit to see if breaking those horizontals is beneficial. Also the bushes seem to make their own horizontal line.
Actually, I don't want to break that boundary because I want a flat 'up-ness' (is that a word?) to happen here. This is advice I often give people that I think is quite valid, but I think if I push the bushes up it will make them too much of a focal point. I broke the line of bushes up with some gaps and used some exciting orange highlights that don't show at all well here, and made sure they went above the distant land plane, but into the sky just won't work for me. Edges again... but thanks for the thoughts! I appreciate that you forced me to think it out and reason through why I'm not doing that. :D




I might suggest some lighter tones as highlights on the cloud to help with the aerial perspective and let the eye travel down a bit easier.
I would suggest is a degree darker in the fore side of the storm cloud-may enhance the distance light.I think both of these thoughts are on the same track. Hmmmm....I can't tell you which would be the better solution, or if they contradict as much as it seems. I'll definitely look at that! When I walked in the studio and looked at this painting first thing I thought the cloud seemed too underdeveloped for being such a large part of the comp. Thanks.




the light yellow/gold band in the middle ground and my eye keeps looking for it to extend some to the left under the hill...something lighter in value. I probably wimped out on that because the light was a last minute addition and I didn't want to go behind bushes... Sticks out though, doesn't it!? Thanks.



Back to the drawing board... I appreciate your eyes. Please, anyone else with comments feel free to leave them. I am going to go work on this, however, and will show progress shots when I can.

Thank you, one and all!
Deborah

sassybird
06-06-2006, 12:36 PM
I am from Texas and am used to seeing scenes like this. You did a marvelous job on the land, and with a few tweaks here and there you will have a stunning piece. I am sure it will do well in the show. One little thing that I think you should look at again is the hard edge to the cloud in the upper right hand corner. It seems a bit harsh when looking at the nice fluff at the bottom of the cloud.

Deborah Secor
06-06-2006, 01:34 PM
Okay, I tweaked. I darkened the sky at upper right (and I think I even softened that hard edge you mention Charissa...), I added more broken sky above the mesa, but most important of all I gave the cloud a bit more dimension, darkening in places and making a bit more light to give it a 3-D look. I made the lefthand edge softer, too, giving a ragged, broken edge, and changing the bothersome mimiciking of the ground. I let the light go all the way across the front and slide up the slope on the left side a bit, and then darkened and reshaped a couple of the trees.

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/06-Jun-2006/23609-TheEdge.jpg

I like the looming clouds now. Seems to speak of those big floating monsters that hover like huge battleships over the land about sunset.

Since this has turned out to be all about edges, would you please look at it with that in mind... I'm concerned with 'lost' or 'whispering' edges, 'found' edges that have real strength, 'kissing' edges, soft ones, just all kinds of edges!

Anything else that strikes the eye this round? I think I may be about there... still open to your thoughts, however.

Thanks!
Deborah

sassybird
06-06-2006, 02:52 PM
Looks great to me:)

Tom Christopher
06-06-2006, 03:06 PM
Wow-what a difference-Deborah----I can really feel the power --the scene seems to reach out and grab my attention--this should light up the show--Tom

Mike_Beeman
06-06-2006, 04:57 PM
Beautiful....has a very nice feel to it! Mike

Deborah Secor
06-06-2006, 05:29 PM
Thanks! I put it away, feeling satisfied--although I'll get it out and look at it again before entering the show with it...

It's so nice to have people come in here and help you see, isn't it?

Deborah

David Patterson
06-06-2006, 07:23 PM
I love the added definition to the clouds Deborah - very nice!

David

Khadres
06-06-2006, 07:50 PM
Looks beautifully ominous to me! Go for it! Should be a show stopper!

bnoonan
06-06-2006, 08:08 PM
Deborah this is gorgeous and I'm glad you developed the clouds a bit more. It really shows the strength.

Let us know how it goes with the show! Barb

Deborah Secor
06-07-2006, 03:38 PM
I'll let you know what happens with this show... I guess I should mention what's up, since it is kind of cool! The Pastel Society of New Mexico is having a Signature Members Exhibit at The Albuquerque Musem beginning in August. Each one of us gets to put in two paintings. The curator has the right to reject anything deemed unsuitable. Here's the other one I plan to send:

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/07-Jun-2006/23609-LastLight.jpg
Last Light, 8x17", Wallis paper
It looks a bit smudgy here, but I think that's just the scan. It's one of my favorites...

So, thanks for your help!

Deborah

Tressa
06-07-2006, 04:12 PM
Good luck Deborah!!! I am sure both paintings you submit will be a smash hit!!! :)
Tres

JWebber
06-07-2006, 05:04 PM
Wow, I love this painting!! Makes me want to hop a plane and see this location...that's about a big a complement as I could give, Cheers, Judy

sundiver
06-07-2006, 06:44 PM
I just got here so any of the advice I would have given has been given, and taken, so I'll just agree with everyone that this is striking and powerful and beautiful, and also how you can make a painting that is 3/4 pavement look good is beyond me, but you did!

Pinecone Conniff
06-07-2006, 08:01 PM
What I really admire about your paintings is the expression of passion for the light and drama of the landscape where you live. Let that drive every stroke!
I like the bit of tweaking you did to the big cloud...now relax and enjoy that exhibit in August!:smug:
Annette

Shane Keene
06-08-2006, 03:40 AM
Wow. I totally dig this one. Nice work Deborah.

bjcpaints
06-08-2006, 11:43 AM
Wow - fabulous outcome Deborah! I love that other painting of yours too!
Congrats on your exhibit!
Barbara

Bhavana Vijay
06-08-2006, 09:44 PM
Gorgeous!!I love the hill, the clouds, the colours, everything!!!:clap:

Mikki Petersen
06-09-2006, 04:19 PM
yes, Yes, YES! When I looked at the first post, the large cloud mass bothered me...something to solid about it. I the second post, those touches of light reflection really made that cloud float. That is a stunning painting, Deborah! I like the second one too, so New Mexico...

Good luck with the competition!
Mikki

meowmeow
06-09-2006, 09:13 PM
It's such an amazing scene, Deborah...we just don't have anything like there here in the East. YOu seem to have captured it beautifully...the changes were good for it.
I like the roadie one too...very calm, pelsant, comfortable scene....makes me want to stroll along the side of the road.
Good luck!

Sandy

Deborah Secor
06-09-2006, 11:33 PM
Thanks all--you give me a lot of encouragement. I really appreciate it! :heart:

Deborah