View Full Version : Strider- Just See What These Bunkiehouse Boys Been Up To..
05-18-2006, 07:58 PM
Kevin I’m a hopen you are up to readen this…I know you go by Strider, and all these secret names have my head a spinining…and I’m called Bob(2), cause there are other Bobs…Well,
Kevin while you’en… have been away, them old bunkiehouse boys have been up to somethin’ wonderful (or no good!). Hate to spill the beans on them’ens, but they purchased a country condo in right here in Florida. They also placed an ad in the Yehaw Junction newspaper (only two pages) for a caretaker and they hired me on (Bob(2)), well sort of…. If I take care of the place, I git to use the shed out back for a studio. It’s rather small, and has some strange smells coming from the ground, but they said it was a historical site, and that John Singer Sargent had use it when he was in Florida in 1917! Oh, they also said I had to learn to paint purdy pictures wit them water paints, then I could join in on their parties when they come down.
I know this’ens is suppose to be a big surprise to you, but I’m a thinkin you would like to know what they have done with all them winnins you guys got last time you was at Las Vagas!
I painted a water paint picture for you of the condo:
Them old boys is a plan’en to sell time shares to their fellow Washers, so when they ain’t down here, the place will pay for itself (somethin about a spring flings or somethin). Roof needs a fix’en, but was told that was not a problem. I was asked to look for some lost r**p. Now, I don’t know what that word is with the fancy stars in it, but I’ll go looken, just the same. Soon as I clean out the varmits from the inside the place. I think it will be OK to stay in after I finish flushen them critters out. Also, I was asked to build a bar”b”que grill. Heck, down here we just dig a hole, burn some wood, and put a wild boar on it (road Kill of course)! Last week we had some good arm-o-dilla.
I have set up a tinery of the attractions for the folks to visit when they come down. First morning we are going to have gator rasselin lessions. In the afternoon, and after some cold ones, some outside painting. I’m not sure why they want plane air (did’nt know there was differn’t kinds of air), perhaps it is smoky up north! That night, they want to go to a bar (strange, they called it a pub), the name of the place is called Missy’s and it is in Mi-ami of all things! Ain’t never been there, but was told not to tell anyone including DWs. The only DW I know is a DWI when the police put you in the tank for haven too many cold ones! Hmmm!
Anyway, after them attractions, they are on their own, but I do recommend a night airboat ride with Buba (if’en he ain’t had too many cold ones, too)! Frog gigging is a great sport here and he can find the best spots. Been told its better than golf (what ever that is…).
I should have the place fixed up for the gang soon. I understand you been feeling pun-ie, so get well soon, and if’en you need some comfort food, wait till this winter when the snowbirds come down, lots of road kill then!
Oh, PS, my wife and I are put together a care package for ya. Boiled swamp cabbage, fresh palm hearts, fried gator tail, frog leg jerky, fresh ground grits, pickled boar’s feet, and some collard greens. Wanted to send some fried fingerling mullets, kind of like sardines, only crunchy, but we think they would spoil. You take care now, hear!
I KNOW YOU ARE A GONA HEAR A LOT OF RAT TRAP ‘HERE’ FROM THESE GOOD OLD BOYS, BUT WE PULLEN FOR YOU…BTW, JUST TO LET YOU KNOW…I GAVE YOU THE WHOLE TRUTH. LOL!
05-18-2006, 08:24 PM
…I GAVE YOU THE WHOLE TRUTH. LOL!
When a man says that - well you know he is lying!!! :evil: :wink2: :p
05-18-2006, 08:35 PM
Strider, if yore readin' this, that ole boy up there has
a pretty good understandin' of Suth'en hospitality, even
if he cain't spell worth a flip... :D :D
Hopin' you can get your rear in gear pretty soon, and
come see what BobbyTwo and the other Bunkhouse bunch are
up to. :)
05-18-2006, 09:29 PM
For the life of me I cannot understand why you went with Bob(2) when BobBob was available!!!!
And for the life of me I can't fathom why you would point out our Vegas winnings to Kevin when he was quite comfortable with the story that we were at the nunnery that weekend, doing some yardwork (as we are wont to do on our day off).
And for the life of me I fail to uderstand why people insist in saying R**P ??? Sup wit dat?
Is it ROAP?, ROEP? Am I missing something??
And for the life of me, why build a BBQ pit when we all know Kevin's propensity for falling into such things. Above ground works on so many levels BB, as you should know
Anyway, I wonder how many threads this fellow needs? I am getting sunstroke on account of he has a basketful of my hats, and where is MY THREAD? ...Oh I know... it's with my stinkin' R**P. So never mind then.
But since the cat is now out of the bag BobBob, and our beachfront property has been exposed for the world to see, it would be wrong of me not to extend an invite to all and sundry. So please, dew drop by, the lady at the gate who sells you your ticket (to cover purely administrative and overhead costs... which can be exhorbitant given as how it is mosquito season down there) will also stamp the back of your hand for re-entry (the public washrooms are not 'on site' per say) and offer you a complimentary souvenir map of the property outlining some of its many features and hidden delights... such as the giftte shoppe on the concourse level...where your cash is always welcome.) Water painters of course will get complimentary water, and the view through the electric chain link security fencing is well worth painting!
But of course none of that can happen 'till BobBob gets the place in shape, (so I wonder why he is painting when there are varmints needing tending??? But thats for Human Resources to sort out I suppose)
BobBOB you did fail to mention that the bbq armadillo (WHEN IN SEASON) and the other delicacies are subject to the normal menu prices, plus gratuities.
So yes Kevin, do get well soon and head on down. I am sure we can come up with a reasonable explanation before then. But bring your own bourbon... as per our usual arrangement. I'll start the BBQ.
And finally BobBob.... some advice Do not ever tell DW1, about DW2.... been there, did that! Not good.
05-19-2006, 06:39 AM
Bobx2 :lol: :lol: :lol:
Banxy - you too - :lol: :lol: :lol:
Looking forward to more information!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
May want to book in sometime???
ps hope Kevin enjoys this "story"
05-19-2006, 08:30 AM
Miss-um Pat, a man of the swamp nevers tells stories, heck you should have seen the big fish I caught last week, had purple spots too!
Oh Miss-um Joleen, do like that name, and you got a song named after you too! As for spellen, ain't nothen-to-it! BTW, its that up-there that gots me confused, I thought Florida was down-there from Georgia, better go look at my maps, could be wrong too!
Mr. Sandbanx, these secret names drive me crazy. Every time I see Sandbanx I think of kitty litter, umm. BobBob is a good name and I like it, but my friends call me Bullet (thats caus I have a sooped up airplane engin on the air boat, its real fast and can lift of the ground and almost fly!), but family calls me Buba, and I do give airboat rides! And, folks do get their money's worth on my rides. Last lady I took out, after the ride she got down and kissed the ground and was a pray'en like a preacher, wouldn't talk to me, and couldn't wait to get to her car! Boy, now I call that service! I'm tell'en you we do have fun down here! And, she tipped me a whole set of water paints and a chair, left them in the boat! I'll have to send her a thank-you card with a free ride coupon.
Mr. Kevin, the nearest nunnery from Las Vagas is somewhere near a bait shop up north, so I'm a not understanding Mr. Sandbanx explainations! He seems like a nice unough guy, but he do like them rules, charge for this, charge for that...and he wants us to charge for free food too! He is a bit confused, we got a water shortage here in Florida, and we do have to charge for water. BTW, you-da-thunk a guy with that many rules would have not lost his R**P! The above ground BBQ is done and the condo is scooter accessable, so if-en ya feelin better we ready for ya to come on down!
PS, Mr. Sandbanx, the lady in HR (Human Resources) is mean as a snake, told me no cold ones until after 5:00pm, boy ya'll live strange up north!
Ms. Tricia, If'en we ain't raisin spirits, we look'en for R**P!
05-19-2006, 09:10 AM
KevinBob, (thinking about ya) BanxBob, BobBob...(aka BulletBob)...
I been thinkin' bout another trip with Sarnia SueBob....Meebe a ride on yo' fancy boat wud be sortar like a temp-po-rary face lift....I look much betta when ridin' fast in a boat.
05-19-2006, 09:29 AM
I look much betta when ridin' fast in a boat.
:lol: :lol: :lol:
05-19-2006, 01:01 PM
Is it ROAP?, ROEP?
Neither, it's "NO R***E!!!"
And I'm here to tell you that Loreen girl would look
good ridin' on anything... she's right purty!!! :angel:
05-19-2006, 05:37 PM
Miss Loreen, I'm a tell'en ya, that boat is so fast, it will pull your face back to your ears if'en thats what you mean...but I'm not sure what a face lift is...Jimmy-Jo's garage got a truck lift to put those big wheels on trucks to go four wheelin. Not sure what a face lift is...but you can come down and we can go for a ride. I give all the ladies gogles and what you guys call ear muffs on, so the sound does not hurt your ears! BTW, don't need a hairdrier here to dry out your paintings, I'll just crank the big engin! Whooshhhh!
Bluejeans, sounds like BillyJo, she was my 14th wife!
Joleen, now I'm real confused what is NOR**P ? Joleen, watch it, no match maken allowed, my 22nd wife wouldn't allow it.
05-19-2006, 09:15 PM
we ain't raisin spirits
Whut in the darn heck is a raisin spirit? A dead grape??? And whut does that have to do wid lookin' fer R*PE??
05-19-2006, 09:36 PM
Miss Andrea, my southern slang may be a bit off, or my typin, or both, Ha! but you know I ment to raise to Mr. Kevins spirits, but please don't confuse that with the bottle of Jack D. I have hid in the well, good and cold too!
But you know, its almost like the De Vinse Code, here all along I thought it was R**P, but now it is R*PE, its like I won a letter on Wheel of Fortune!
05-20-2006, 03:28 AM
Hi BobBob, KevBob here, hope your keeping the place spick and span, I'm coming down your way, we fly out next Saturday, so get that porch painted and sort out that smell. Remember, we pay your wages, and Banxy still has the negatives ............ those pictures disgust me, only a sick mind could think of doing that with a whisk, and was it necessary to wear rubber boots?!!!!:lol:
Actually Bob we are coming to Florida next weekend, my daughter is getting married in Cypress Gardens on the 1st June. We are staying around the Disney area for the 1st week but then head south for the second week towards Naples. If we pass close-by maybe we could meet up somewhere?
If not maybe you could give me some tips on must do's in your wonderful state. Maybe you know a nice restaurant in the Naples area?
Hey were looking for an air boat ride, maybe we could get a discount. Just don't wear those boots!!!
Oh ........and please put my DW's name down for the 'gator rasselin lessions', and do me a favour, get a mean one.:lol:
05-20-2006, 11:02 AM
Hey Mr. Kev, the place, it's a lookin good. Did have a problem, its a been so dry here, the gator holes are drying up! Mr. Banxy ordered a plastic kiddy pool for the guests (only 1 foot deep), and this morning there's a five foot gator in it. I'm a thinkin we could charge $2.00 to have folks come and see it. If your wife wants to try and rassel him, we may be able to charge $10 a head!
Sent you one of them PMs because the wife and I is headen out to Georgia that week. Her sister lives in West Point (Georgia!) and will be gone for a week, same week you will be here!
Now Naples, thats a high class place for this old country boy, but heard lots of good food and things to see there! More of them golf courses than Hogans got goats! Art too! Skeeters ain't bad yet, so ya-all have a good trip. Congrats to your daughter.
Airboat is down for repairs, took some good old English boys out and one guy got so frightened, he dropped his bottle of stout ( funny name for a cold one) and it got sucked into the prop. Woo-wee glass and prop wood all over the place. We had to spent the night out there on the swamp before we got rescued. I thought it was cool to see the sunset over the swamp, and all night long we could hear them gators bellowin. See, its mating season for them and they need a big meal before they make their nest and guard it. Had about fifty bump the boat that night, them old boys was almost wimpwein, jeees, I just hit them in the head with a empty beer bottle and they would leave us alone for a while.
PS: I think Mr. Banxy is mad at me for lettin the cat out of the bag! You know for buyin this place and all!
Please tell him I got the six bags of play sand to spread out in front of the plastic kiddy pool for the beach area. I'm not sure why he wants me to build a lifeguard stand when I get back?
05-20-2006, 12:41 PM
Not mad at all BobBob, just a tad riled is all. Business plan has to be in place before we get marketting involved, so I'm of a mind you have the cart before the mule here. But sharp business minds like mine are able to overcome such adversity as you know, so all will be well in the near future. (Just don't expect a lot inyour christmas envelope this year)
Seems our StrideyBob is likely going to be wanting a room with a view now, and what with Loreen and her lot thinking of coming down theres not a lot of room left. I guess we will have to do some juggling and perhaps air out the old sunroom, pop some cots in there.
Get on that wouldja.
Oh, and the honeymooon suite: clear out the gas cans and see if you can't get that shower working. There is a rainbucket behind the shed. stick onof them bottles of Florida grape in it and set it on the floor aside the bed. Looks like Kev's daughter may be need'in a place.
05-20-2006, 08:45 PM
Gee Mr. Banx, no need to get them water paints of you'en all stirred up! It was bound to come out, and Homestead Depot is send'en you a ton of bills, on account! We got the room with the view all fixed up for Mr. Kevin, and the view...heck you can see the whole swamp and the cell phone tower in Okeechobee City.
I know you da brains of this enterprize, and just to let ya know, folks down here want to sell you some more swamp land. As for the bonus, instead, I'll be happy to take you snipe hunt'in in the swamp for free! BTW, I wouldn't miss the first visit by the Bunkie House Boys, for all the tea in China!
I'm not sure what you mean by the sun room, but if'in you mean them big army WWII surplus tents, marked SR, you sent down here, I guess that means sun room. Got the cots with them too! One can be sleeping quarter for the washer ladies and the other can be a open air studio, we'll just open the flaps.
I'll get them up before I go up to Georgia.
Oh, the honeymoon suite (attic) is ready, but if'in I put the bucket by the bed to chill the grapefruit wine, we won't have a bucket for the shower. I guess I could use one of the gas cans, let me know.
05-21-2006, 04:25 PM
Yeah the gas can works BobBob. Just make sure the tractor is all fueled up before you use it.
I'm taking stress leave at the spa for a day or two, so you keep an eye on things and see if you can't slap a coat of whitewash on the bathtub... only needs to last a few weeks.
05-22-2006, 10:47 PM
Mr. Banx, everything is done you asked. Also, put a fan in the attic, oops I mean the honeymoon suite, because the window unit down stairs will not cool it down up there! I pushed two cots together for the bed and got one of them air mattress from army-navy surplus store.
I couldn't find a microwave oven for the kitchen at any of the garage sales like you suggested, but I did find a George Foreman electric grill. At least you'll have something to cook on if'en it rains, other than the BBQ grill outside. Sure you don't need a stove with an oven or at least a hot plate?
The local police stopped by and asked if we had a hurricane evacuation plan for the guests, I told them you would get it down ASAP. Just lett'en ya all know!
I'm off to Georgia the end of the week, but should be able to check in from time to time...ya all take care...hear!
05-22-2006, 11:48 PM
Our Hurricane Evacuation plan is me first, then my golf clubs, and then the rest of you. I don't care in what order. Toss some sandbags around the wine cellar if you get a few minutes.
Not sure we need the hot plate or the stove. Electric bills being what they are. Lets play that one by ear, OK BobBob?
I'll go easy on the expense of TWO cots this time, seeing as you are new here, and Malty's bonus is burning a hole in my pocket. Just try to minimize overhead... that should be your first rule of thumb in every case.
Have fun in Georgia. Keep an eye out for my rope wouldja. Find that and there will be a little something exytra in your pay packet come Christmas.
Let me know if you see Strider approaching. I expect he will want me to meet him at the gate.
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