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Constellation
01-17-2006, 08:17 PM
MY IMAGE(S):
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/upload_spool/01-17-2006/72213_WIP7_002.jpg


http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/upload_spool/01-17-2006/72213_Olivia_Rose.jpg


GENERAL INFORMATION:
Title: Staff of Life
Year Created: 2006
Medium: Oil
Surface: Canvas
Dimension: 16 X 20
Allow digital alterations?: Yes!

MY COMMENTS:
Grand daughter in a wheat field.... comments are greatly appreciated... this is my first oil portrait in many years, I've been working in water color and really enjoyed being able to correct my mistakes easily! (and I made a bunch of them!)

MY QUESTIONS FOR THE GROUP:
I've included the snap from which I was working... are the changes I've made effective and worthwhile?

Grunge
01-18-2006, 09:16 PM
Well, I think you've hit the child dead on. She is gorgeous. My problem is with the wheat. It just doens't look like it belongs in the painting for a couple of reasons. the first that strikes me is the huge tonal contrast. I'm seeing whites and blacks in the wheat. You need to reserve you lightest lights and darkest darks for the area of interest...the child. (I think the whites in the coat look great and I'm not separating the body of the child here from the face) When you squint at the painting the wheat really stands out with some stark lights and darks. the other reason that the wheat bothers me (and this is a much smaller reason) is that I'm not really getting a sense that she is sitting in it, but rather that there is a line of wheat in front of her.

If you are standing in a wheat field and look away you will see an ocean of wheat heads. Here it is more like you are standing on a road and looking towards a wheat field. you are seeing where the wheat begins and it appears to be only a thin line of wheat before we reach the child. this just feels unnatural. I think she needs a little more behind her and more in front of her with the heads gradually decreasing in height as we get closer to the bottom of the canvas.

I really think if you were to take the wheat right out you would have an absolutely stunning painitng on your hands. It is marvelous!!!

Constellation
01-18-2006, 09:46 PM
Hi Grunge....Thank you very much for your excellent critique! I appreciate the time and thought you've given to this painting. I guess that wheat is a personal thing... her Dad loved a snap shot of her in a wheat field and so I did this one with wheat....she is supposed to be standing in a wheat field and almost looking down at the camera so there is wheat behind her but not an entire field of wheat. I'd put in a horizon of "wheat" once and taken it out preferring the haziness behind her rather than more wheat.... I had hoped it worked but if you are misinterpreting what I've done I'm wondering if it does! The colors in the wheat are actually Naples Yellow and Burnt Umber.... but they do look black and white!
I'll have to study this again! Thanks so much for taking the time and effort to discuss this.... Donna

Grunge
01-19-2006, 12:22 AM
I think you can get away with just lightening up the darks. there is nothing wrong with golden wheat. let the colours behind the wheat do the talking.

Constellation
01-19-2006, 07:50 AM
Hi again T....Well.... 2 great minds! LOL.... Last night while I was thinking about this I had pretty much decided to lighten up the strands of dark in the wheat... they do overpower.
This little girl lives in your neighborhood...Wrigleyville, Il.... Thanks again for your help.... Donna

corfublue
01-19-2006, 03:19 PM
WOW that is nice. And those are hard to do.
Why not puch up the t-shirt green to a nice acid lime bright green?

Constellation
01-19-2006, 04:15 PM
Hi Blue..... Her shirt was a brighter color in the snapshot but I was a little afraid of it's drawing too much attention away from her face so I subdued it... plus her coat is so vivid, I thought that was enough. Having her shirt a more vivid color may have given her a more "little girl" look but it's too late now! Thanks for the suggesion though.... there is so much to think about in painting... it boggles the mind! Donna

donn_granros
01-19-2006, 06:18 PM
really nice Constellation. If I were to suggest anything it might be nice to see the sky possibly a bit darker in the upper portion of the picture.. hmm then again, no. It is very good just as it is.

Grunge
01-19-2006, 08:08 PM
Hi again T....Well.... 2 great minds! LOL.... Last night while I was thinking about this I had pretty much decided to lighten up the strands of dark in the wheat... they do overpower.
This little girl lives in your neighborhood...Wrigleyville, Il.... Thanks again for your help.... Donna

Holy smokes! She sure does.

Hey, show me the painting when you're done. I'd love to see it.

Constellation
01-19-2006, 08:10 PM
Thanks Donn..... I framed it today in preparation for the annual Sun City Art Show next month.... I can display 3 paintings and I guess this will be one of them. Thanks for thinking it's "good just as it is".... Donna

vargamari
01-20-2006, 09:56 AM
Hi Donna, it is a very charming child-portrait. The only thing, what I could imagine a bit lighter: the colouring and structuring of the skin around the mouth of this little lady. It looks a bit too much gre tones, but it is maybe only from the quality of the photo. I can imagine, that the original is softer.

Best regards and all the best on the Sun City Art Show!

Zap
01-20-2006, 10:03 AM
I think this is marvelous and will be a big hit in the show. Well done.

Constellation
01-20-2006, 01:38 PM
Vargamari.... I know! mouths are something I always have problems with.... SHHHH..... maybe no one else will notice!

Zap....Thank You... Thank You.... Thank You!

Donna