PDA

View Full Version : Serenity Beach


Vasili
01-17-2006, 10:11 AM
MY IMAGE(S):
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/upload_spool/01-17-2006/17177_beach500.jpg

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/upload_spool/01-17-2006/17177_beachclsup2.jpg

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/upload_spool/01-17-2006/17177_beachcls501.jpg


GENERAL INFORMATION:
Title: Serenity Beach
Year Created: 2006
Medium: Oil
Surface: Canvas
Dimension: 18X24 inches
Allow digital alterations?: Yes!

MY COMMENTS:
This is one that I'm trying to get a little feedback on. I posted it in the Oil Painting forum and recieved little in terms of feedback.



MY QUESTIONS FOR THE GROUP:
Is there a place where an artist can find better ways of painting clouds?

Is it easy to detect what is being portrayed in this little scenario?

HRobinson
01-17-2006, 12:13 PM
You're on your own with those clouds... mine are WORSE than yours. :)

I dabbled some with your comp. I believed there should be more beach... which equated to more serenity. :) I also dabbled with your sky and since that sky color permeates everything on a bright day, added bits of that color to the sand, clouds, water, etc.

I know it's ghastly for me to mess with your work so... it's just a suggestion with a grain of salt. I feel showing is better than telling. Best. -Harry

Dana Design
01-17-2006, 02:06 PM
Vasili, the sky, the water, the trees are good. What bothers me about this is the very brilliant colors in the hammocks that seem to detract from the rest of the painting. The hammocks command far too much attention. Toning them down might make for a more cohesive scene.

JMO.

Spyderbabe
01-17-2006, 02:37 PM
I really like this - Its fun and original and makes a great story.

*as far as the clouds go the only thing I would change is the one that hits the middle tree and never comes out the other side. Its just seems a bit odd.....
* would soften the horizon line to make it look further away
*I would soften the beach/water line for the same reason and maybe make the beach a bit deeper. Having more light values behind the hat will make it stand out more.
*I would add some lights to the left side of the trees on the left and middle.
* I would put some more texture in the sand and add the shadow of the hammock.
*I would dull the second hammock

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/17-Jan-2006/23281-Image2.jpg

Oh.... and expand some of that purple into other parts of the piece!
Thanks for sharing.

Vasili
01-18-2006, 12:12 PM
You're on your own with those clouds... mine are WORSE than yours. :)

I dabbled some with your comp. I believed there should be more beach... which equated to more serenity. :) I also dabbled with your sky and since that sky color permeates everything on a bright day, added bits of that color to the sand, clouds, water, etc.

I know it's ghastly for me to mess with your work so... it's just a suggestion with a grain of salt. I feel showing is better than telling. Best. -Harry
Thanks, for the ideas. It might be a little late to make drastic changes like you suggest, but it gives me ideas for future work. Thanks, for taking the time to come up with these.

Vasili, the sky, the water, the trees are good. What bothers me about this is the very brilliant colors in the hammocks that seem to detract from the rest of the painting. The hammocks command far too much attention. Toning them down might make for a more cohesive scene.

JMO.
I toned down the hammocks with a glaze of raw umber. I'll post a pic when I get one. Thanks, for the help.


I really like this - Its fun and original and makes a great story.

*as far as the clouds go the only thing I would change is the one that hits the middle tree and never comes out the other side. Its just seems a bit odd.....
* would soften the horizon line to make it look further away
*I would soften the beach/water line for the same reason and maybe make the beach a bit deeper. Having more light values behind the hat will make it stand out more.
*I would add some lights to the left side of the trees on the left and middle.
* I would put some more texture in the sand and add the shadow of the hammock.
*I would dull the second hammock


I think a couple of these suggestions can be done without drastically altering the piece. Thanks, for the help!

gaugin
01-18-2006, 01:33 PM
Toning down the hammock and soften the horizon line would be my first suggestions also.
As far as the clouds, my advice on them would be to in a seperate piece do some clouds studies on there own to get more of a personal feel for how they work. Small studies of them are fun to do and you'll glean a wealth of knowledge from them.
Seascapes have a real differnt approach to clouds and there formation. Differnt levels of moisture and reflection in them then landscapes.
And as land locked as I am, don't have the experience with them.
I would post this work in the Marine forum, where you will get responses from some very good artist dealing with this subject matter.
Needs some tweaking but is a good job with a interesting story line.
seeya.
:wave:

corfublue
01-19-2006, 03:27 PM
I think I would tone down all the horozontal attention,
and work on the vertical a bit.
Valerie