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Londondeon
01-06-2006, 02:34 PM
MY IMAGE(S):
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/upload_spool/01-06-2006/44933_email_sunset_2_palms.jpg


GENERAL INFORMATION:
Title: Sunset palms
Year Created: 2006
Medium: Oil
Surface: Board
Dimension: 20 x 16 inches
Allow digital alterations?: Yes!

MY COMMENTS:
This is another inthe series. It was almost dark when I took this photo. For some reason it appears cold to me. It was balmy.

MY QUESTIONS FOR THE GROUP:
Do you think it feels cold, as it's not supposed to be. Color on screen is a little off, but maybe the cloud is making it seem cold. Any suggestions to warm it up?

Zap
01-06-2006, 05:45 PM
I agree with your observation, it does seem a bit cold and flat to me in parts. For my eye, the sky is the best part of the painting. I am not sure if you did this, but perhaps to underpaint the clouds and the trees with a more vibrant colour would help bring them to life. I am not sure, but I think an underpainting of cadmium red light may just give it the punch it needs. You show nice gentle movement on the water with the shadows you have painted.

Dana Design
01-06-2006, 08:26 PM
Very sumi, very Japanese feeling. That orange is ~hot~. Perhpas weaving some of the orange into the grayish clouds would warm it up?

I love it! Wish I were there.

Londondeon
01-06-2006, 10:04 PM
Very sumi, very Japanese feeling. That orange is ~hot~. Perhpas weaving some of the orange into the grayish clouds would warm it up?

I love it! Wish I were there.


It's funny that you say sumi as I used the technique for palm trees that I learned with I was studying Traditional Chinese Landscape painting in Beijing. It seems to work best bor palm trees.

Londondeon

Dhuot
01-06-2006, 10:12 PM
I like this one.
The colours used for the water is very nice.
The only small crit from my part would be the ackward "V" shape clouds in the upper part.

Beautiful dark clouds :clap:

pakc
01-06-2006, 10:15 PM
ON the left hand horizon you stopped from carrying the orange of the sky to the edge...was this intentional?
If so then I might imagine this to be a storm coming but not clearly defined. If not...it might be nice to add a touch of orange to that side.

And the edges of the shine on the water to me seem a tad hard edged...they seem to stop rather suddenly. Maybe breaking the hard edge line that comes down from the horizon to the shore with a few scattered stokes of color would break those lines.
Also would suggest that the shine on the water should radiate from a closer loie of one point....not the three that you painted. Changing that prespective might make the picture more conhesive.

I think I would agree with Zap...the trees are flat from the black....a little color might pick them up more, espcially the trees that are more on the sides.


I find the colors you used suggest a warm night...heavy with heat and not a breeze insight.

Corby
01-07-2006, 12:52 AM
love those palm trees!
In my opinion it is rather cold and muddy. The colors chosen are not bad colors but they are all the cool equivelants. They should instead be the warm equivelants as shown here, and there could be atad lightening all over to get rid of the muddy look:
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/06-Jan-2006/70790-44933_email_sunset_2_palms.jpg

Flattwo
01-07-2006, 07:55 AM
Hello Londondeon

The painting does not seem cold but dark and gloomy and a bit lifeless, I think the dark grey band of cloud is the culprit also the palms seem to be growing out of the water, I think they need a grounding to make sense

Regards

Henry

Constellation
01-07-2006, 08:34 AM
I agree about the painting being somewhat muddy.... it needs something to give it a spark..... good start! Donna

bronzeo
01-07-2006, 08:58 AM
Corvus, I think maybe one of us needs to check their monitor. Those are etrotious colors, and it has to be your monitor or mine. There is a lot of mud in naturalistic painting, and when you get too far away from it, well things just don't work anymore. I think the overall coloration is fine with at least what my monitor shows, and in fact like most of it. It is fairly painterly, so I can't comment much on the detailing. The composition though has so many of the elements pulling me into the horizon and down with the sun. The upper sky, the clouds, the trees, and for sure the horizon line all dip in the center. The horizon line itself should probably be domed minimally.

Londondeon
01-07-2006, 04:51 PM
ON the left hand horizon you stopped from carrying the orange of the sky to the edge...was this intentional?
If so then I might imagine this to be a storm coming but not clearly defined. If not...it might be nice to add a touch of orange to that side.


Yes there was a reain squal on the left. When I had painted the sky and not the trees it was more evident. Now it is not so clear.

Thanks for all the comments, they are very helpful
Londondeon