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View Full Version : Montauk Point, Long Island - critique please


Erik
11-11-2005, 02:01 PM
This is a 16x24 oil on canvas painted from a plein air that I posted back in August. Something about bothers me and I can't pinpoint it. Perhaps there's too much static space in the foreground? Not enough interesting shapes?

Erik

http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y18/nitkinas/montaukstudio.jpg

Erik
11-11-2005, 03:55 PM
Forgot to add the plein air reference:

http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y18/nitkinas/montauk1.jpg

Erik
11-11-2005, 04:05 PM
I posted this in the studio sub-forum but figured I'd post it here to get more looks. If I broke forum rules by doing so, I apologize and please delete the thread.

This is a 16x24 oil on canvas painted from a plein air that I posted back in August. Something about it bothers me and I can't pinpoint it. Perhaps there's too much static space in the foreground? Not enough interesting shapes?

Erik

studio painting
http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y18/nitkinas/montaukstudio.jpg

plein air
http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y18/nitkinas/montauk1.jpg

Rene'
11-11-2005, 04:17 PM
Maybe it's a littlebit flat, i mean there isn't much happening.

For inspiration you could have a look on this site:

http://www.janhendrikdolsma.nl/

Erik
11-11-2005, 04:37 PM
Yes, it is flat and static - that's what I think is wrong with it. Perhaps a more dynamic sky would help. That website is incredible! Amazing work! Thanks for the link!

Erik

Marc Hanson
11-11-2005, 04:43 PM
I think the color in the sketch helps carry that image Erik. In addition leaving out the foreground grouping of rock and beach stuff does leave it a little barren, or flat. Possibly adding some of that foreground back in would create more dimensional space to the studio piece.

I used photo shop to clear a path through the rocks, opening that area up. Don't know if it helps completely, but it creates more depth. It's also a subtle but opposing diagonal to all of the other angles that run from high on the right to low on the left.
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/11-Nov-2005/37743-montaukstudio.jpg

Erik
11-11-2005, 04:46 PM
Thanks for the help, Marc. I'm going to place "beach stuff" back in the foreground and see what happens.

Like2Pedal
11-11-2005, 06:10 PM
the main thing i notice is that in your studio work the cliff and rocks at the beach basically turned into a single diagonal dividing line that splits the image in half.

in the plein air the cliff is stepped and the rocks break up the beach/water.

maybe not composition related but, the waves breaking in the plein air are also peeling off that point which would be great for surfing eh? then in the studio the waves are coming from the other direction, closing out into the point, which we be far less surfable.

Eric

Lorijo
11-11-2005, 09:11 PM
I like the plein air very much, it has dynamic contrasts. The studio one is like a misty day, a much different mood to it. I agree with Eric, the stepped cliff and the rocks, all would help. Lori

JamieWG
11-13-2005, 08:57 AM
I'm going to place "beach stuff" back in the foreground and see what happens.

Erik, I think that's a good idea. You have more in the plein air, smaller piece than you do in the big painting. I find that more often than not, big paintings need enough elements to make them work. In your case, I think you have enough elements in the plein air to make the big piece work if you put them all in.

The plein air has more color intensity than the studio piece. Is that a result of the image, or are the paintings actually that different?

Jamie

Erik
11-13-2005, 11:43 AM
Thanks for the suggestions, Lori.

Jamie, the colors in the plein air image are more saturated than they should be. The sky is way too blue and the greens aren't neutralized enough. I think you're right, though, the larger piece doesn't have enough elements. Thanks for the suggestions!

Erik

Carey
11-26-2005, 05:42 AM
Just my two cents, for what it's worth... first let me say that the studio piece seems to be beautifully painted - I agree the PA piece is a bit saturated with color, although more interesting to look at. The 'editing' done on the studio piece seems to have gotten rid of a 'focal point', though. My eye roams the painting, looking for the reason you painted this piece (the rocks? the waves? the cliff? the beautiful, subtle sky?). I think if you decided what was the thing that hooked you on this spot and went in and gave the viewer some 'eye candy' there (more definition, more color or additional shapes) it would turn this painting from a 'nice' painting to an awesome one. Please post an update, too!

Erik
11-26-2005, 10:56 AM
Thanks Carey. My wife said the same thing and she really prefers the plein air work - I should reshoot that one so that the colors are more accurate. That empty space definitely needs to be dealt with. Thanks!

Erik

LarrySeiler
11-27-2005, 09:43 PM
I think there is a balance tension in this...and a small land mass in the distance might help it quite nicely. Also, I lightened the sand mass in the foreground a bit to give more atmospheric presence of light above. Softened the edge of the midground masse's contours as I think they were a bit too sharp, too commanding-

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/27-Nov-2005/532-beachscene.jpg

Larry

Erik
11-27-2005, 10:24 PM
Thanks for the help Larry! It's amazing how a minor addition can make a major impact.

Erik

norsky
08-11-2006, 02:27 AM
thats color! this is a wonderfully bright painting i like the way you formed the rocks.:clap:

Bill Wray
08-14-2006, 12:37 AM
This is a 16x24 oil on canvas painted from a plein air that I posted back in August. Something about bothers me and I can't pinpoint it. Perhaps there's too much static space in the foreground? Not enough interesting shapes?

Erik

http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y18/nitkinas/montaukstudio.jpg
Even on a dull day I try and force a little color and light variety. Especially if the view is a little dull.
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/14-Aug-2006/65633-montaukstudio.jpg

meatball2006
08-19-2006, 11:12 PM
hi
love the colors in both works. but i prefer the plein air study.
maybe add some gulls on the left for life and movement.
great work!

Erik
08-20-2006, 01:18 AM
Thanks Norsky!

Bill: I love how you transformed the painting with a few passages of more saturated color... thanks!

Thanks meatball! I prefer the plein air as well - it actually looks a bit different in person... less saturated with color but still brighter than the studio piece.

Erik

Bill Foehringer
08-22-2006, 11:09 AM
I like the plein air. I think that it's a value problem in the studio work. Not enough value range at the dark end. That's what the foreground objects in the plein air brought to the comp. IMHO, BillF

manfrommerriam
08-29-2006, 06:48 PM
This is really nice work but I agree with Larry... The oil lacks depth; as Woodstock pointed out it is "flat". In addition the cliff on the right has so much impact that the composition is off balance. Further, the vanishing-point composition leads your eye but not to anything narative/captivating. That grayed blue island Larry added makes a world of difference, addressing all these problems. Another way would be to introduce something else in that area, for instance a container ship passing in a channel... a surf fisherman... a drawbridge.... Have fun, Dave

emogirl
09-09-2006, 08:20 PM
For me, it lacks a focal point...you need something in there, a person, a boat....more interesting clouds...something to grab you....its a beautiful painting, actually, it just seems unfinished.

barrej
09-14-2006, 12:31 AM
Okay, here's my first attempt at a critique. Your composition is good, but your conveyance of light falling on the scene is not emphatic enough. the painting needs light highlights that better balance the rocks and cliff on the right with the water on the left. Small touches could really liven this piece and help move the viewer's eye about the canvas. Maybe soften the left edge of the cliff against the sky. Your base colors are excellent and the composition is strong enough and tight enough to work well in the end.

John

shahid hussain
09-25-2006, 10:09 AM
here i can wait for the message in a bottle.

MrOsborne
10-02-2006, 12:27 AM
Hey,
I'm from Long Island so I had to write and say I love it. Been to Montauk. The painting puts me there. Wish I was walking there right now.