Untitled

[Artistammy]

MY IMAGE(S):
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/upload_spool/01-18-2002/3341_patriotic_flag_small.JPG


GENERAL INFORMATION:
Title: Untitled
Year Created: 2002
Medium: Pastel
Surface: Paper
Dimension: 8 x10
Allow digital alterations?: Yes!

MY COMMENTS:
I had trouble doing the shading that was supposed to make the flag look more 3 dimensional.

MY QUESTIONS FOR THE GROUP:
What do y'all think? I put features on the face once & messed them up. Should they be there or does this look OK? Should I outline all the stars? What else would improve this painting?
Thanks,
Tammy
Gallery for God
http://users.windmill.net/~wodom/tammy
artistammy@stenocall.net

[m_a_r_t_i_n]

Likes:
I feel this one carries a message, that it's trying to say something.
I like the way the head looks two directions at once, adding a sence of movement.
Nice colours.

dislikes:
Looks dry and grainy, this is probably pastel, I don't know.

other:
I wouldn't outline any more stars.

[mjkohler]

:) yes this does feel that it is trying to say something. Only thing is what is it trying to say?:)

The message needs to be defined by strengthening the background and foreground. One possible area of trouble is that the figure appears to be levitating. This is being caused by the base of it being higher than the flags base. Something needs to be under the figure whether a cushion or something. mjk:)

[henrik]

agree with mjk - I don't get the message either. The only thing I could think of was "ethnic minorities are suffering in the United States" - is that the message?

You did a very nice job on the flag; and I think you must do equally well on the figure, or you end up with an inconsistency that will stand out. So, anatomy must be correct; hands and face do not look ok now.

Right now the figure is floating, it looks superposed on the flag.

I don't think it is a good idea to outline the stars.

[djstar]

I want to tell you the flag is rendered remarkably! It may be part of what seems to be the problem.
It jumps out very three dimensionally and the figure is so flat, well, not actually flat but, I agree, floating or superimposed.
I have a gut sense of frustration from the gesture and the darkness of the figure.

About the features....hmmm.
I think it depends on exactly how unified you want this to look.
If you want them to combine, you should try to show a shadow, equally well thought out, across the stripes of the flag.

If you like the isolation of the gray and single darkness of the figure, when you render features, I would suggest keeping them blocky but well formed. As you have indicated "corners" on the figure's chest, make right angles in the face and seriously DEFINE a light source so it will at least appear as well massed as your flag.

There is a mood. Not a clear message.
Tell us what YOU want to say, and maybe it would help...
Any assistance here?
dj*

[mjkohler]

having read what dj has written I might add be careful. Avoid cliches and be careful that you have thought deeply about what you want to say.

Please forgive my crassness but I am going to post a copy of a painting I did with the american flag during the Clinton/Lewinsky debacle, because I have a wry sense of humour about it. And because sometimes its interesting to see another treatment of a theme. Most paintings I have seen of the american flag are very serious affairs with a universal theme to them. (hey that broke the rule of using an before a word starting with a vowel)

mjk :)

[Artistammy]

This is the message I'm thinking of: '2 Chr 7:14 If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.'
I plan to put part of this scripture on the mat.

Thanks for the ideas, everyone. Originally, I thought I would make the figure a total black silhouette. Would that be better or worse?
I have an actual photo of the figure to work from. You'd think I could get the anatomy right. LOL

Tammy

[arlene]

i was going to do an edit of this tammy, but i must tell you that the message turned me off and i decided against it.

to see a person who is most likely muslim with those words, doesn't sit right with me. Why not words from the Koran?

You have the symbol of freedom, the american flag, yet your message is one that says there is only one way, and it's not the one you're following.

Wouldn't a better message be the one written on the base of the Statue of Liberty?

this may not be your message, but with those words...

[Artistammy]

Obviously what I was trying to do with this is not coming across. The figure is a silhouette of a white person. It's my son & he's not a Muslim.
I didn't mean to turn anyone off exactly, but I'm a Christian artist and most of my work deals with Christian themes.

Tammy

[arlene]

ok it's a white person, but even as a Christian, what is the reasoning in putting the person in front of the american flag with the words from Jesus on the bottom? I clearly don't understand the basis for juxtaposing the two with words from the Christian bible? Especially since the American flag is a symbol of welcoming all races, religions, etc.

What it says to me is that if I want to live in true freedom here in the US, then I should follow Jesus. Knowing you, I'm sure that wasn't your meaning, but that's what's coming across.

[jnet11]

I certainly did not get your intended message from this piece, but would like to add that anytime you do something to a piece simply because you weren't capable of what you intended (the features of the face dissappearing, for instance), it's a good sign that you've lost your way with a piece. You shouldn't give up a concept unless the concept is flawed, IMUO.

it seems by the reactions of the board and my own, this juxtaposition of images doesn't universally convey christ and how we should submit to him in order to "save" America. :confused:

[tammy]

Originally posted by jnet11
, this juxtaposition of images doesn't universally convey christ and how we should submit to him in order to "save" America. :confused:
Tammy,
As a fellow Christian, I understand that you are trying to produce an image illustrating your Bible verse, but I agree with jnet here. I just don't think it does it. I don't know a good way to say it except that to me in this painting the flag and the kneeling person just doesn't do it.
Having briefly tried pastel I understand the difficulty which I would have doing the figure and I don't know how proficient you are in pastel but I feel that the features need to be more pronounced if you will. I have a feeling that you would like the figure to represent all peoples in America, but I have no suggestion on how you would do this in just one figure.
Perhaps you might think on your theme some more and give it another try.

You did do a good job on the flag.

[Imagi]

The flag is very well rendered! My only thought on improvement would be to try to darken the colors a bit (they are quite faded in comparison to the figure), but this could just be the result of the scan. With pastel, sometimes it's difficult to achieve a "solid" deep color appearence (especially when working with small details like stars). Outlining the stars would look tacky since the stars are not outlined on the American flag . . . darkening the blue would make them stand out more (as opposed to outlining). If you do darken the blue, then darken the red, as well (so the values stay similar).

The figure does appear to be hovering . . . a good way to "ground" him would be to add his shadow slightly under him and behind him (depending on where you would make your light source appear to be coming from). As for features, it's really your own call, what you would prefer to better convey your message/statement. I don't really wish to comment about the scripture.

Overall, the imagery has great potential, the flag has got some definate movement and that's a very realistic quality . . . It looks natural.