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Jprice022
09-02-2005, 07:20 PM
Hi all-

I am doing this on a commission basis and think I am about finished. It is about 12 x 18 inches of WM rough 140 pound paper. I used Rembrandt and American Journey paints.

Something continues to bother me but I cannot figure out what seems wrong.

Please C & C. I would appreciate the help.

Thanks

John
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/02-Sep-2005/3262-DSCN0451CropSMer.jpg

JustjoGA
09-02-2005, 08:44 PM
I really like this except for the oversize cactus flowers
lower left.... too overpowering. Your mountains and
sky are great! (I lived in AZ for 12 years... I don't
remember there being that much green on the ground
around cactus)...

Jo in Georgia

tuckerbird
09-02-2005, 08:54 PM
I agree with Jo. The cactus on the left draws your eye out of the picture, but your mountains and sky are beautiful.

Celeste McCall
09-02-2005, 09:12 PM
This painting has wonderful colors. :) I like the cactus flowers, and the mountains, and the cactus, and the sky is beautiful.

A wonderful teacher said to pick out one element in the painting and emphasize it. And everything else in the painting should either point at or lead to or be a supporting part of the main subject area. :)

I hope that this helps. ;) ;) ;)

Clappies and smilies for you. ;)

artdreamer1
09-02-2005, 09:57 PM
The only thing that I not sure about in this painting is the cactus flowers(as Jo said)...love the rest of this. Maybe if it was just a plain cactus(w/o the flowers)--just a thought. My eyes just keep getting drawn back to it although I suppose that could be a good thing(as Celeste said). Great job! Has the client seen it yet? What do THEY think?

Michele

NodakerDeb
09-02-2005, 11:49 PM
John,

The mountains are splendid as is the sky! Very nice work there.

As others have said, the cactus in front distracts from the rest of the painting. However, even if it weren't there I see two other things I would change if I were to paint this. The pile of rocks in the lower left corner seem like a lump hanging out there, so I would eliminate them. And the four cacti to the left are lined up too straight in a row. They kind of look like telephone poles. But gosh, darn, those mountains and sky are A-one!

Deb

Deb

juneto
09-03-2005, 12:13 AM
John ,
This really very good and well done.. 2 nits I see are
The Flowers are all the same size , no variation on size and color , they are all on the same plane. 2) The white of the Flowers is isolated, so it doesn't relate to the rest of the Painting. If you put some white somewhere else ,you would have that relationship. I think you could do it easily , because they aren't big deals and it seems fixable.
Hope this helps. :)
June

Lynn Quinn
09-03-2005, 01:42 AM
Nice painting! Having one or two problems with the shadows, though. Trying to figure out why the values are so much lighter on the right-most mountain? Very different from the others. Also, the shadow midway down the left side of that right-most mountain doesn't seem to have anything that would cast a shadow there. Just my opinion, but the shadow seems to be in the wrong place. Also some of the cactus shadows seem to be inconsistent with the light direction as established with the mountains. Hope this helps!

ponting
09-03-2005, 03:36 AM
I love this......too each his own. :p Now I will add my two bits worth.

I don't mind the flowers at all. They are kind of funky in their position and boldness. At least one more in the distance certainly wouldn't hurt. Loose the rock pile though.

Perhaps what you are feeling about this painting is the same thing I am. I have a strange feeling of being on the wrong plane here. We start out near the level of the tall cacti on what I perceive to be a desert floor at the base of hills or mountains.....but the receeding cacti are marching steadily uphill rather than staying on the same plane is we are. They could indeed be on an incline but there is nothing in the painting that leads me to believe that therefore it confuses my senses.

That all said, you have a wonderful tall narrow painting in the flowering cacti straight up to the top cropping it the start of the first tall catus so we are just seeing flowers, mountians and your beautiful sky.

Cheers, Dianna

ripvanblair
09-03-2005, 03:48 AM
This looks excellent John, I agree with June on this one, looks like you've had some great advice---------Alan

CharM
09-03-2005, 06:58 AM
I love this......too each his own. :p Now I will add my two bits worth.

I don't mind the flowers at all. They are kind of funky in their position and boldness. At least one more in the distance certainly wouldn't hurt. Loose the rock pile though.

Perhaps what you are feeling about this painting is the same thing I am. I have a strange feeling of being on the wrong plane here. We start out near the level of the tall cacti on what I perceive to be a desert floor at the base of hills or mountains.....but the receeding cacti are marching steadily uphill rather than staying on the same plane is we are. They could indeed be on an incline but there is nothing in the painting that leads me to believe that therefore it confuses my senses.

That all said, you have a wonderful tall narrow painting in the flowering cacti straight up to the top cropping it the start of the first tall catus so we are just seeing flowers, mountians and your beautiful sky.

Cheers, Dianna

Hi John... you've received a ton of good advice... I felt the same way as Dianna about your painting... but could never have explained it so eloquently...

Uschi
09-03-2005, 08:01 AM
John, I admire you for being able to be sooooo successful with the mountains, I tried to paint them while I was visiting in Arizona with Fookie and failed miserably. You got the "glow" perfectly. Although the flowers do draw the eye there, I assume that was your intention. I don't have a problem with the cacti and there is that much green, I remember photographing all the different cacti and wild flowers all in one area. As to the rocks in the botom corner - ???????
Uschi

lyn lynch
09-03-2005, 08:57 AM
I think you've an accurate view of Arizona. The oversized cacti and it's flowers are just what I expect to see out my window--they do overpower everything else in the vacinity. Lower the hue of the green on the desert floor. Like Uschi, I'm wondering about the rocks in the bottom corner.

Jprice022
09-14-2005, 10:04 AM
Thanks to everyone who looked at my painting and commented. I appreciate the help.

I reworked the rocks in the lower left corner and darkened the right side of a couple of blooms in the foreground.

The customer has seen a picture of the painting and is very happy with it.

Sorry for the delay but I've had some computer problems.....but it is doing well now.

Thanks again for the help.

John