View Full Version : Murphy's Laws of Pastels

07-27-2005, 02:14 PM
I have been thinking this would be fun for us all to put together.... here is my list so far.... please add your own !

1. The more expensive the pastel, the more likely you are to drop it.

2. The more dressed up you are, the greater the chance of wearing your painting to an engagement.

3. If you put a tray of pastels even slightly off of the table, your cat WILL jump on top of it and knock the entire tray to the floor. If it is all the way on the table, the cat will end up with a pink tush.

4. Puppies very often mistake colorful pastels for colorful milkbones, and when you paint, they think you are holding out on them.

5. The chances of your significant other walking in just as you hit the 'checkout button' when ordering more pastels are exceptionally high.

6. Your pastels will be delivered only if your significant other is home and you are not.

7. Whatever color you need, will always be someplace else and require an extensive search.

8. Little foam pieces that squish under your feet in the middle of the night can resemble squishly creepy bugs.

9. However you arrange your pastels and studio, you will want it all differently the next month.

10. The neater the studio, the less likely you are to paint in it.

11. If you keep a glass of something cold to drink nearby, you will end up washing brushes in it; this often makes the painting better. (for the water soluable pastels).

07-27-2005, 02:37 PM
Very funny!
Here's a few....

If you order paper/art supplies and are climbing the walls waiting for the shipment since it was supposed to be at your doorstep in 5-7 business days, it's delayed by, oh, a week or 3. If you order supplies and don't need them for a month, they arrive in 3 days.

If you have young children, their water glass will be set upon the artwork table, not on any of the tables nearby.

The night you want to spend painting will be the night the hot water heater tank dies and floods the cellar.

The moment you sit down to paint that isn't scheduled with the family and carved in stone is when the doorbell rings, the cats are hungry and meowing, the kids skinned their knees, the phone rings and it's only telemarketers, your mom calls, you've run out of Wallis paper, dinner needs to be started, some interesting show or your favorite tv show just began, you hear a loud crash in the other room and aren't sure it's the cats or the kids.....


CM Neidhofer
07-27-2005, 02:46 PM
These aren't mine, and not quite the same, but I thought at least some of us might relate to it!

You might be an artist.....

If you've ever cleaned your fingernails with a palette knife--you MIGHT be an artist.

If you notice the burnt umber in the background of the Playboy centrefold--you MIGHT be an artist.

If you choose a wine with an eye toward using the bottle in your next still-life--you MIGHT be an artist.

If your idea of losing weight is to paint a thinner self-portrait--you MIGHT be an artist.

If you've ever rinsed your watercolour brush in your coffee--you MIGHT be an artist.

If you didn't realise it until you noticed the taste--you MIGHT be an artist.

If you thought it improved the taste--you MIGHT be an artist.

If you thought it improved the painting--you MIGHT be an artist.

If you've ever drunk the rinse water instead of the coffee--you MIGHT be an artist.

If you've ever considered framing your palette instead of the painting--you MIGHT be an artist.

If you've ever painted an abstract and decided it looked better upside down--you MIGHT be an artist.

If you find painting more exciting than sex--you MIGHT be an artist.

If your cat has chrome oxide green paws--you MIGHT be an artist.

If the paintings in your attic start looking better than the one on your easel--you MIGHT be an artist.

If you've changed your painting signature more than five times in one year--you MIGHT be an artist.

If you've ever cleaned the toilet rather than start a new painting--you MIGHT be an artist.

If you've ever touched up a painting with WhiteOut--you MIGHT be an artist.

If you've ever gotten cookie crumbs in the Titanium white--you MIGHT be an artist.

If you can spell phthalocyanine, you MIGHT be an artist.

If you've ever scrubbed a hole in a watercolour--you MIGHT be an artist.

If you've ever accidentally mixed oils and acrylics--you MIGHT be an artist.

Christine :p

07-27-2005, 02:50 PM
lol - what fun. great thread Purples!

here's mine:

If you take a pastel painting off your easel and do not immediately protect it with glassine, the cat WILL rub herself on it and your significant other will be asking why the cat is blue.

When the eBay outbid notice comes in, and you had bid your absolute highest bid, you will immediately decide that you HAVE to have those pastels and will keep bidding.

07-27-2005, 03:02 PM
The kids will decide to use your wallis paper, unison pastels, markers, and tempra paint to create a masterpiece while you are away...

No matter how much paper you have, if it is on sale, you will buy more.

the more toxins in the pastel, the better the color

as soon as you get everything set up to paint outside, you WILL need a bathroom...badly...

your BEST paintings are from something copyrighted that you only intended to do as a quick sketch...

07-27-2005, 03:04 PM
This is good play time! As you put on the last masterful stroke, the dog will play in her water dish then stand nearby and shake adding lovely little polka dots of darkened pigment to the masterpiece. While painting on location as you lay out the pastels on your little portable table a dust devil will whirl up out of nowhere. Also the dog will go swimming, stand nearby and shake adding lovely little---Or she will spy a rabbit and dash under the easel bumping the legs and you know the rest.

07-27-2005, 05:51 PM
My all time favorite is the law that says the better you think you're doing on a current masterpiece, your tour de force, your most gorgeous work yet...the more likely someone near and dear is likely to cruise by, pause a moment and then ask in a mystified voice: "What is it?"

07-27-2005, 06:23 PM

ok, let's try some, not repeated I hope .

the colour over the paper is never the colour on the stick

when your pencil is almost sharppened, it will brake and be worst than it was

the stick that you need most is the one that will fall into the floor and brake

people will say that your painting is great when you think the oposite and vice-versa

that's all I can think of for now


Piper Ballou
07-27-2005, 06:23 PM
Here's one
You are new to bidding on ebay, and realize that the item you are bidding on is also being bid on by one else, so you bid higher, they also bid higher, so you again bid higher, darn it, so do they.....until you realize you are bidding against yourself

07-27-2005, 07:47 PM
all of you guys are too funny....Piper, that's why I don't do ebay ;) are we related? Jose, esp. if it is a pastel pencil, in which case, the lead will break off and ruin your new electric pencil sharpener...
TJ- you should add a few about the jeep...

K Taylor-Green
07-27-2005, 10:51 PM
This is just too cool and funny!

If you do detailed drawings and then transfer them to you painting surface, you
should never answer the phone or the door or you will invariably transfer them
wrong side down, and therefore have no transfer.

If you have a painting on the easel or drawing table, and you must let the wet muddy dog in, you will forget to cover the painting first.

The Sennliers will always get dropped before the Nupastels.

If you need to measure something at your drawing table, your ruler will be on the other side of the room, or on a top shelf! Or on top of a row of books in the bookshelf, meaning you hunt for the darn thing for twenty minutes, get frustrated, look for something else that might work, can't find anything, search longer for the ruler, give up, and go pour a glass of wine and fume!

07-27-2005, 10:56 PM
Some big scary bug will jump out of your field box and on YOU when you are least suspecting it long after you return home and finally open it again...

no matter how many pencils and erasers you have, there is never one where you can find it when you need it

if you drop a kneaded eraser, a labrador will eat it before the first bounce

just when you think you have every pastel ever created- someone comes out with something new, unexpected, and that you MUST have...

you will trip over your big giant paper wacker (stored sideways of course) in the middle of the night and it will fight back...

07-27-2005, 11:03 PM
From the matting and framing world -

When non-glare glass has a bad glare in it -- you put it in backwards.

When you ordered that custum frame you forgot to add the 5 inches around the artwork for the matting.

Of all the mat boards you have on hand - the one the customer wants you don't have.

"This is a easy cut I don't need to measure it twice" - or is it cut twice measure once?

Never tell an artist (especially your significant other) that the artwork is to big for the frame.

If you set a pastel up to get a different perspective on the matting - make sure the fans are off, the dog is outside, and the cats are not around.

Always make sure you put a wire on the frame...and it is in the correct postion.

The list could go on.

Life is too short....eat dessert first.

07-27-2005, 11:17 PM
Never tell an artist (especially your significant other) that the artwork is to big for the frame.

this one has me laughing out loud- I just don't believe in MEASURING things, my sig. other just doesn't get that and thinks you should.... applies to moving large furnature aroud the studio too...

and if your male puppy has to go, and you are too busy painting, the easel leg makes a great tree...

Bill Foehringer
07-28-2005, 12:24 PM
We never have enough pastels.

07-28-2005, 01:55 PM
Purples, there are way too many Murphy's laws for Jeeping and being about to go on some runs next WE I won't even let them enter my mind. But for art + Jeepin, les see--20 miles into the backcountry, beautiful scene to paint, forgot to put any paper in--or its too grimy with trail dust to use. All set up with easel and pastels in beautiful spot, 15 Jeeps from another group roar in and start playing on your subject of interest.Beautiful lunch spot, artists all excited, but find the drive up and down and over and around to get here have left them tired, now the wind kicks up and sketch books go flying. How's that.

07-28-2005, 02:06 PM
- TJ too funny- forgetting the paper, now what do you do there? ha.....

07-29-2005, 01:55 AM
It was pointed out to me today that a correlary to Murphy's Law exist. Though it slips my mind who developed it...simply put it states "Murphy was an optomist." :eek:

07-29-2005, 10:13 PM
oh, these are just a hoot!! how bout when you cannot find something, and you NEEEED it NOW, look some more, fume, cuss, go to town and get another, use it, then go to put it away, finding the original one cuz of course, that's where you keep those things!! argh!! at least now ya got 2 to loose!! haha!

08-01-2005, 11:50 PM
The "list" for colors that you need to purchase will not be in your handbag when you get to the art supply shop.

The colors you do purchase will not be the one's on the List when you get home.


The painting with the cracked glass will be the one that has to go to the show tomorrow!


The painting you sweated over will not be the one selected for an award.

The painting you splotched with a coffee spill is most likely to receive an award.


Your husband will happily tell his friends that you paint with "chalk".


Piper Ballou
08-02-2005, 12:00 AM
You are doing a painting of an animal that you are having so much fun with, you are beginning to think that this is one of your best, you show the painting to someone and they ask...what is it? where's the animal?

08-02-2005, 01:10 AM

08-02-2005, 01:33 AM
Your husband will happily tell his friends that you paint with "chalk".


My brother in law always asks if I have played with my "crayons" lately! :mad:

Ruth Grinstead
08-02-2005, 04:20 AM
These are all so funny :D

You put people in a painting at a buyers request and when finished they tell you they had specific colour clothes in mind and you haven't picked the right ones :eek:

08-04-2005, 01:20 AM
How about:

When you have sold all of one certain type of paper to another artist because you were certain you werent going to use it again, then a commission comes along that calls for THAT paper.......*rolling eyeballs*

Yep it happened Kat, just this last week, go figure lol. I had to go down to hobbylobby to get a sheet of black Art spectrum........8 freakin dollars! grrrrr

08-05-2005, 01:41 AM
You are doing a painting of an animal that you are having so much fun with, you are beginning to think that this is one of your best, you show the painting to someone and they ask...what is it? where's the animal?

And the first person who says this is your daughter and the next is a fellow pastellist. :eek:

When you write a post about your significant other's work...and forget to tell them. :o