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cameliaelcott
07-09-2005, 12:41 AM
MY IMAGE(S):
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/upload_spool/07-09-2005/64241_8th-day.jpg

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/upload_spool/07-09-2005/64241_8th-day-painting.jpg


GENERAL INFORMATION:
Title: the 8th day
Year Created: 2005
Medium: Oil
Surface: Canvas
Dimension: 24x30
Allow digital alterations?: Yes!

MY COMMENTS:
This piece is half way through.

MY QUESTIONS FOR THE GROUP:
I need your comments and advices on colors. I tried to limit my palette as much as I could. My main concern here is to give the feeling of light and sun outside, and the shade inside. I will be toning down that yellow color gradually.
I excluded the chandelier in the middle so it wont interfere with the main focal point of the painting. Am I right in doing so? or adding the chandelier will give it a punch?
I also added a figure on the left that is not in the photograph, but I do not know if this is a good idea.

Thanks very much

cameliaelcott
07-09-2005, 12:45 AM
What do you think is the bestt color for the colomns would be?

laketrees
07-09-2005, 02:41 AM
Hi Camelia ...and welcome to WC....I think this is an intriguing work...and I'm wondering about your focal point...is it the square shape in the middle?...and is it a building...I like the yellow...and agree with toning down.....the figure on the left is aligned with the pole and I find that a bit distracting..IMO.....I think the columns (in foreground) could be darker in value as you have a silhouette effect which works for me...
cheers kim

cameliaelcott
07-09-2005, 12:20 PM
Thanks Kim,

Yes, the focal point is the square building in the middle. Still, I would like to know weather it is a good idea to add the chandelier in the middle or I should not.

You are right. I am stuck with the figure on the left aligned with the pole. I do not know what to do about it at that stage. Do you think changing some values will not make it look "very" stuck, or should I gamble and remove it all together?

HRobinson
07-09-2005, 12:33 PM
Yellow ochre (just a little) may have been a better choice to indicate sunlight. It's a good study. Your background color change was not carried over into the areas where the white light was reflected before, which is a feasibility issue... a common ailment in the beginner types.

You did have the intuition which unconfounds the hanging light mess in the original photo and for that you deserve some honor. Best. -H

Gilberte
07-09-2005, 12:38 PM
What I like about this painting is the way the two figures in the front pull you right into the painting. Personally, I would replace the yellow by a grey-ish value like in the photograph. The chandelier would enhance the location ...
Further good luck !

cameliaelcott
07-09-2005, 04:10 PM
Thanks very much,
I will be posting the new changes as soon as I go furthermore and get your feedbacks.
Any other comments will be very helpful.

haaf
07-09-2005, 04:22 PM
Assuming that the Kabbah is you main focus here, think it will be nice if you darken it a little and use some of the colors applied on the people in the front
Wouldn't put the extra chandeleer in, would distract from the Kabbah
Think with a light white glaze you can tone down that yellow a bit
I like it hiw you've distributed the colors over the canvas ..thus making connections.. and the soft light on the people heads as well as the overall simplification of the scene
good job

dcorc
07-09-2005, 05:34 PM
Hi Camelia, and welcome!

- as this is a work-in-progress, which you are seeking comments on in order to help you complete, rather than an essentially completed work for critique, I'm moving the thread into the WIP subforum :)

Personally, I'd like to see you lighten that yellow very considerably, decrease the saturation of your other colours too - and I'd also lose that clock on the right-hand pillar.

Dave

cameliaelcott
07-10-2005, 06:37 PM
thanks Dave,
I am glad to see a special forum for WIP.
Since I am a beginner and new to Wetcanvas, I think this is the best place for me. I am attaching the new changes of my painting.
Digitally, I substituted the figure on the left with a lighter color value so it will not look too sticky to the wall.
What do you think?

Also, my focal point is the square building in the middle, that is far away; the question is: how do I make the focal point darker when it is at a far distance?
And how do I make to colums contrasting with the sun outside if I do not make it dark?

My challenge at this point is the color distribution in the whole painting. Would that be accomplished by a monotone?

Would the painting be more interesting if it is an entire bleu tone?
The more I work on this piece, the more I get more confused.
Any help?

dcorc
07-10-2005, 07:09 PM
Tinkering with the image in photoshop - what would I do? (might not be the same solution arrived at by you, or by others!!)

Here's Waht I arrived at (roughly!) blur the foreground and pillars, decrease the saturation of the figures - lighten the pillars a bit - lighten the skylit area considerably - darken the Kabbah a bit (cheat it!) - result:

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/10-Jul-2005/30792-the-8th-day2pg1_copy.jpg

Dave

Spyderbabe
07-11-2005, 10:16 AM
In the photo it seems the chandelier is closer to the viewer than the Kabah ?
Not directly over it but hanging from the vaulted ceiling ? Not trying to be different but I think its necessary and would enhance your focus area.
Also, I'm not fond of the yellow tones... the place suggests bright whites that almost make you squint. The vaulted ceilings are white and reflect that.
This is a challenging one!

cameliaelcott
07-11-2005, 04:58 PM
Thanks Dave for taking the time of the digital work. I am attaching the new changes.
Yet, I am not quite sure of the blue color I added to the ceiling. I was trying to make some unity all over the painting. What do you think? Should I lighten it? remove it? darken it?
Also, about the new figure I added in the front, is it taking the viewer's eyes from the focal point?