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JoeKaz
12-27-2004, 09:08 PM
MY IMAGE(S):
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/upload_spool/12-27-2004/51556_wip_20041227.jpg


GENERAL INFORMATION:
Title: Old RR Tracks
Year Created: 2004
Medium: Acrylic
Surface: Canvas
Dimension: 18x24
Allow digital alterations?: Yes!

MY COMMENTS:
Painted from a photo I took this summer.

MY QUESTIONS FOR THE GROUP:
The grass embankment gave me some trouble - I can't seem to leave it flat green, and my brushwork here looks really messy to me. What do you think?

Any c & c is welcome.

balfour44
12-27-2004, 10:16 PM
I like this, your brush work in the grass looks fine to me, but is the train de-railed?

JoeKaz
12-27-2004, 10:38 PM
Not derailed, abandoned. The track is unused. The train is on a siding and I think it's been parked there a long time. I was going to paint the graffiti which covers the train, but decided against it because I like how the train looks right now. But I guess the graffiti would help give it the abandoned feeling.

Jim Updegraff
12-27-2004, 11:32 PM
If this were my piece Iíd be inclined to have the precision of the left foreground, the railroad track, mirrored in the grass and weeds along the embankment in the right foreground. As it is I donít get any sense of form or mass in the lower right hand corner. Maybe a little escape from local color would help Ė a lot of red, blue and purple as well as light colors could go over there. That said, the draftsmanship is excellent, as is the feeling of mass and depth in the line of gondola cars. It just seems to me that itís not quite done.

shirleyq
12-28-2004, 12:10 AM
I would add what ever you deem appropriate to make it seem abondoned.....which is not obvious now. Very nice rendering by the way and very nice handling of the acrylics. :)

woodguy
12-28-2004, 02:12 AM
I like the strong diagonals and the composition. Jim

JoeKaz
12-28-2004, 08:48 AM
Jim Updegraff: I agree - some detail in the grass embankment would help, but that's where I run into trouble. I tried that in an earlier version, but it didn't turn out right and I painted it over with what you see now. I have a lot of trouble painting large areas of grass realistically. This is the 2nd painting in a row where this got me, so I'm giving myself an assignment: a few simple paintings - field of grass and sky - just to play with brushwork and ideas. I'd prefer to paint those on location too, but since it's cold and snowy around here now, photos will have to do. Anyone know of artists who do this particularly well and are worth studying?

Shirley: Right now, I don't necessarily think I need to go for that abandoned feeling. That was my original idea but except for the grassy area, I'm pretty happy with how the rest of it turned out.

Woodguy: Glad you like the composition. I tend to do a lot of paintings looking down a road like this. So I'm worried that I'm compositionally challenged, but maybe this is just my niche.

Mikey
12-28-2004, 09:12 AM
Joe, this painting works well for me. I like the light reflecting off the wagons. Since you are concerned about the grass I'll mention it. I would have used a smaller size brush for the middle distance on the bank. Otherwise I think it's excellent.

Mikey

Tamana
12-28-2004, 09:14 AM
I like the perspective & palette VERY much. And especially the sky colors reflected from the cars.

Michael-Ann
12-28-2004, 11:30 AM
I really like this painting...can't offer any suggestions. I like your grass bunches, as well as the lines.

There was a WC member who did a painting that ALWAYS comes to mind when I think of painting grass, his screen name was "Gareth."

The painting he did:
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/20-Jul-2004/5545-1hillfinsm.jpg

The thread it was posted in:
http://www.wetcanvas.com/forums/showthread.php?t=203908

I haven't seen him around at all lately, and his style is different than yours, but ya never know if something may be helpful or not, so I had to speak up.

jerryW
12-28-2004, 03:50 PM
the work is good.
time to do another.

futurebird
04-04-2005, 10:11 PM
Not derailed, abandoned. The track is unused. The train is on a siding and I think it's been parked there a long time. I was going to paint the graffiti which covers the train, but decided against it because I like how the train looks right now. But I guess the graffiti would help give it the abandoned feeling.

Don't leave out the graffiti! That'd really make this image HOT. I like your train. If you want you can send it to me and I'll put graffiti on it for you.

Anita Murphy
04-04-2005, 10:44 PM
I think your embankment is just fine - it read embankment to me - didn't think of a siding but a parallel track with train heading away. Wondered where it was going. I love a painting that makes me think like that.

Bevahlee
04-05-2005, 07:24 AM
I really like this. I think the grass might grow up alongside the train. It looks like it's been kept cut, so it doesn't give that "abandoned" feeling. and I think the value needs to change as it recedes, and maybe the sky could be a little darker so there's a little more contrast with the train. :) http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/05-Apr-2005/54805-train.jpg