Portrait, new user

[bbbilly1326]

Hi, I am a new user, largely self-taught painter working in relative isolation from other artists. I have done a lot of portraits, but have not had them critiqued by other artists. ANY feedback appreciated.
This one is of a colleague's children, and he likes it, but of course I can see many defects. It is 24x36 and I misjudged the size of the canvas and had to shadow out some of the painting to make it look more balanced.
Please add your input, to help me along.
<IMG SRC="http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/lib/18-Feb-2001/KYLA&KAILIE3.jpg" border=0>


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Bill
Self-taught/all-ways learning

[campsart]

You can appreciate this feedback...I think this piece is lovely but I must ask you to please enlarge your post. I would love to see the detail. I thought you said you have a hard time capturing children? Yeah...right.
This painting is very nice. Welcome to WC!

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"Art is a jealous mistress and if a man has a genius for painting, poetry, music, architecture or philosophy, he makes a bad husband and an ill provider."
Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1888), American essayist, critic, and philosopher.

[vonorloff]

Yes, it looks very interesting to me too. I also would like to see it larger so I can get a much better look at it.

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VonOrloff

[KaTee]

Bill

My eyesight just isn't what it used to be http://www.wetcanvas.com/ubb/rolleyes.gif

Please can you post it a little bigger, but looks good from here.

Take care

Karen http://www.wetcanvas.com/ubb/smile.gif

Karen http://www.wetcanvas.com/ubb/smile.gif

[bbbilly1326]

Thanks everyone for the comments. I would gladly enlarge it, but how do I do that? It's already 91KB, and I believe the limit for uploading is 100KB.
Any suggestions?

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Bill Carroll
Self-taught/all-ways learning
http://hamiltoncarroll.homestead.com/index.html

[LDianeJohnson]

Hi bbbilly1326,

Welcome to WC!

This looks like a very nice piece. It would be nice to see a bigger version as others have suggested.

From what I can see from this picture is that the directional lighting setup is very interesting and visually strong.

The older child's face looks good. The smaller child's shadow side is somewhat flatter and different in overall style.

The pillow on the left seems to be overall a bit too intense and bright over a too large an area. Look at again where the pillow turns away from the light.

The color scheme for this painting is great; the cool blues and warm oranges and reds are cheerful and vibrate; very appropriate for the subject.

The painting in the background may have been nearly touching the back of the sofa in reality. But it may help the scene to pull the frame of that painting up (adding a bit larger ribbon of wall space) so it does not visually weigh down on the sofa back.

May we see more of your paintings?

Thanks for posting,
Diane



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L. Diane Johnson (http://www.LDianeJohnson.com/) NAPA, PSA
Plein Air Workshops (http://www.LDianeJohnson.com/workshops/)

[bbbilly1326]

Diane, thanks for your critique. I have looked at your site and like your paintings. In fact, I'm considering attending the Giverny workshop in June if I can get leave.
I understand what you said about the pillow and the picture. I have not had artists look at my work before, only non-artists. It's very helpful to hear these things.
I have just (today, in fact) designed a website (below) with my work on it, and have decided to try to sell some of it in this venue.
Please tell me what you think.
Regards,

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Bill Carroll
Self-taught/all-ways learning
http://hamiltoncarroll.homestead.com/index.html

[LarrySeiler]

Your lighting has a Baroque feel to it, that is... that stage dramatic sense. Nice work.

The larger child to the left creates the potential of an interesting assymetrical balance..however, the shadowed out area on the right side lacks in helping me get a better feel for how or if you've managed to achieve it.

One thing that does bother me, and perhaps it is the small image here not making things clear...is that the stand of fruit, the back edge falls in line with the edge or line of the white part of the couch. Edges as such ought to break planes as a rule, meaning either the stand should be above that line or well enough below.

You seem to have distributed color well to have a unifying sense...but a larger image might show that perhaps more could be done in shadows to bounce light and make use of more color. I'm thinking like along the older girl's stocking, as an example.

Nice stuff overall...very cool!

Larry
http://www.artsmentor.org

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"Painting is easy when you don't know how, but very difficult when you do!" Edgar Degas

[bbbilly1326]

Thanks for the critique Larry. Those comments are helful.
BTW, I visited your site, and that portrait of your son is certainly one of the most wonderful child portraits I've ever seen!


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Bill Carroll
Self-taught/all-ways learning
http://hamiltoncarroll.homestead.com/index.html

[bbbilly1326]

Hello again, patient new friends.
I hope I'm getting the hang of including pics with these posts.
I modified this photo (the original scan was not the best quality), and hopefully it will be bigger and better, if it works at all.

<IMG SRC="http://www.zyworld.com/bbbilly1326/KYLAAKAILIE.jpg" border=0>

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Bill Carroll
Self-taught/all-ways learning
http://hamiltoncarroll.homestead.com/index.html

[bbbilly1326]

WOW, IT WORKED!, and a lot easier than I thought it would be.

Anyway, if anyone is still interested, this is a much truer representation of the painting. The shadow on the upper right is still too dark to show my attempt to balance the painting by including an almost B&W self-portrait. The ballerina picture is done from a photo of Kyla, at left, in her ballerina costume.

Again, thanks for all your feedback.
Please visit my brand new website if you have time.
Regards,

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Bill Carroll
Self-taught/all-ways learning
http://hamiltoncarroll.homestead.com/index.html

[bruin70]

you have to draw more attention to the heads. you've placed your highest contrast elsewhere....{M}

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"it's alright to be judgmental,,,,,,,,if you have taste"...MILT

[ldallen]

Hi Bill,

I just saw this painting I can see a couple of things in it that can be corrected, but in general I think it's great. Your use of color is very good. I don't like to critisize in a public forum because I just don't think I'm qualified to do that. But Larry and Milt are both professionals for whom I have great respect and I would pay close attention to whatever they have to say.

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Les

"It takes two people to do a painting - one to do the painting - the other to kill him before he ruins it!! (source unknown)

[bbbilly1326]

Hi all,
I kind of lost track of this thread.

Thanks for the input.
Larry: That table was problematic, it was drawn in because I needed something there, and I've always thought it didn't look right, but didn't know why. I like the idea of a darker shadow along Kyela's leg. The shadow on the right is I think mostly dead space. I didn't properly plan the painting.

Milt: I didn't know as much about focal points and arranging the canvas when I did this, so I can see why you point out the lack of focus. I agree.

Thank you all again.
Bill



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Bill Carroll
"Paintings are never finished, only abandoned" (source unknown)
index.html (http://hamiltoncarroll.homestead.com)

[LDianeJohnson]

Hi Bill,

I just had a chance to visit your web site. You have been working hard and have quite a collection and breadth of work. Are any of the images clickable to see larger views?

It would be great if you could make it to the Monet' painting excursion. It's a wonderful week of painting and discovery.

Diane

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L. Diane Johnson (http://www.LDianeJohnson.com/) NAPA, PSA
Plein Air Workshops (http://www.LDianeJohnson.com/workshops/)

[bbbilly1326]

Hi Diane,
Unfortunately, my website is not yet very sophisticated. I plan to make it more so in the future, but finding the time is difficult.

I have maybe twice as many more completed paintings to put up, so I have to get to work soon.
Thanks for taking the time to stop by. I'll let you know when I've improved it.
Bill

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Bill Carroll
"Paintings are never finished, only abandoned" (source unknown)
index.html (http://hamiltoncarroll.homestead.com)

[Linda Ciallelo]

I like this, it has very good qualities. I like the older girls face and your colors and brush strokes and lighting. I feel as though we should get closer to the girls and cut out much of the "stuff" around them. Do you take photos to work from? Do you do a small pencil, or charcoal, drawing of the whole scene before you start?
Linda

[bbbilly1326]

Hi Linda,
Thanks for the kind comments. I now always try to take my own photos, though when I first started I worked from the subject's photos, sometimes very small.
I typically do only a quick charcoal sketch on the canvas before starting.
I'm not much for planning paintings, and the lack of planning shows up in this one. If I were doing it over, I would have cut the painting just to the right of the younger girl, but I wanted to get Kyela's legs and feet in there, because I thought it was such a nice pose, and she had dressed up expecially for the photo shoot. She was only about 8 when I painted it (I know she looks older), but I thought the juxtaposition of her "grown-up" pose with the doll will mean a lot to her and her family in the future, to show a time of transition for her. What also happened is that I made the space between them too wide, didn't notice that until I was almost finished, and was unwilling to go back and correct it. All these problems might not have occurred with better planning.
Bill

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Bill
"Paintings are never finished, only abandoned" (source unknown)
index.html (http://hamiltoncarroll.homestead.com)

[Linda Ciallelo]

Bill, a thought for next time.... you could have turned the camera side ways, making the portrait vertical instead of horizontal. And , of course , do the same thing with the canvas. Vertical compositions are good sometimes for people, depending on wether you're painting a vertical person or a horizontal one. (I've known a few horizontal people). chuckle
Linda