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instargalv
11-18-2004, 02:36 PM
MY IMAGE(S):
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/upload_spool/11-18-2004/46694_October_shower.jpg


GENERAL INFORMATION:
Title: October shower
Year Created: 2004
Medium: Oil
Surface: Canvas
Dimension: 30
Allow digital alterations?: Yes!

MY COMMENTS:
A larger painting from some watercolor sketches done in October 2002. The location was north of Santa Fe, NM. The mountains are not an accurate representation of the view, I expanded them to fill the space.

Please ignore the glare.

MY QUESTIONS FOR THE GROUP:
I was going for sort of a realistic image, but in a painterly manner. I guess my question is - are the clouds too amateurish?

KABart
11-18-2004, 02:40 PM
I think this is a wonderful piece. The clouds look fine to me, though I feel as if the upper right hand corner is lacking something, my eye doesn't move to that area on its own, perhaps a bird or something I'm not sure, but otherwise I think it's a very good representation of New Mexico. Good Job. :wink2:

Rina

dornberg
11-18-2004, 02:45 PM
i think you see that the groundwork has more definition and varied color
some of this can be emphasized within the clouds

Gilberte
11-18-2004, 03:12 PM
I hate to nit pick on real good paintings as this one is but I do agree with Dornberg in a way and imho the diagonal strokes in the upper left distract me from the beautiful scenery.
WOW X 3 for the clouds !

Mybubblewall
11-18-2004, 03:23 PM
I would get rid of the dark cloud in the upper left corner because my eye lands there first and stays there. I'd also nix the diagonal light strokes for the reason mentioned.

Beauuuutiful painting by the way!

earthbot1
11-18-2004, 03:31 PM
lots of good points mentioned...very nice!

LisaArt
11-18-2004, 03:35 PM
I would get rid of the dark cloud in the upper left corner because my eye lands there first and stays there. I'd also nix the diagonal light strokes for the reason mentioned.

Beauuuutiful painting by the way!

I agree with Crystal about the dark cloud ...
I agree that it is an absolute beauty!

Mikey
11-18-2004, 05:47 PM
The landscape itself is superb. The clouds, well I'm not so sure, is that a stack of cloud, or did you want them moving back over the distance.

Mikey

cotopaxi_annie
11-18-2004, 07:56 PM
Really Beautiful representation of Northern New Mexico! Personally, I really like the light rays. My eyes were led to the center of the painting by the great ground work. It almost felt like a "tunnel" starting out wide and narrowing into the center. My second response was to focus on the very dark cloud in the upper left corner, then my eyes were led down the light rays downward. Either way was equally enjoying for me. The only comment that I might add would be that, perhaps, the very dark cloud might be a little lighter and still have the desired effect. Personally, I feel that the light rays are an important part of the painting. It is soooooo neat when you see that type of display.

Good Work!

Annie

Quiet
11-18-2004, 09:01 PM
The rays of light are strong-arming the rest of the image. But I think thatís not the main problem. I think whatís missing is a lack of shadows cast by the cloud. With such dense, puffy clouds, and such obvious direct sunlight pouring through, there should be large patches of glowing landscape set off against sleepy shadowed landscape.

I did a quick search and found a couple of landscapes with cloud-shadows for you. . .

http://www.dave.coates.photoshot.com/Pages/08-Image%2010.html
http://www.panoramic-landscape-photography.co.uk/open_edition_prints.htm

By the way, there is one cloud on the left about two-thirds of the way down. . . I love the wispy dark underside of that one! That, and the shadow of the big round one in the upper right-center (especially against the softer wisps) are the areas of cloud working the best.

One last observation. . . I think your shadows would be more effective if they did not go all the way to black. In such a light-saturated environment, reflected light would fill those shadows and illuminate them enough to see clearly whatís in all but the deepest shadows. Plus, The three dark corners look like photo-corner tabs. ;-) If you lighten those, the panorama might feel more appropriately open.

Cheers!

instargalv
11-18-2004, 09:32 PM
Sorry to bump this back up, but I wanted to thank everyone for their kind comments and helpful suggestions. Quiet: thanks for the links. I'm going to go check them out now.

I plan to try another painting of the same type soon and I've printed all the comments out and stuck them in my sketch book for the next go 'round.

a bientot and thanks!
Robert

jerryW
11-18-2004, 10:02 PM
the sky is most engaging
allmost too much detail below

Tamana
11-18-2004, 10:34 PM
I hate to nit pick on real good paintings as this one is but I do agree with Dornberg in a way and imho the diagonal strokes in the upper left distract me from the beautiful scenery.
WOW X 3 for the clouds !

Agreed regarding the strokes.

It's a lovely painting. You would enjoy viewing woodguy's work - he's phenomenal with clouds.

takeshi iwasawa
11-19-2004, 12:16 AM
I'd have to agree with others about upper left corner...Its so strong and it attract my eyes to remain there. But other then that I love this painting....Though I would love to see some wild creature in this painting.

JoeKaz
11-19-2004, 09:21 PM
Something bothers me about the lowest cloud, just above the mountain on the right. It looks futher away than the cloud above it, yet the white cloud top makes it appear to be in front of that same top cloud. I don't know if that statement made sense, so here's an altered image. I also added a hint of light rays on the right to balance the ones in the upper left.

Gilberte
11-20-2004, 03:40 AM
It Is A Lovely Painting. Definitely An Eye-catcher ...