View Full Version : A Fishy Tale - Book Two!!

11-07-2004, 07:03 PM
Yes folks it's time for the further adventures of the motley crew we met in Book One - for those who haven't read Book One here is a link to it

BOOK ONE! (http://www.wetcanvas.com/forums/showthread.php?t=209111&page=1&pp=15&highlight=fishy+tale)

For everyone else here is a quick recap of the cast of characters -

Brian - with the MASSIVE FINS!!
Charm - March Sea Witch (spell broken and now a good fish)
Doug - JJ and Kev - members of FINS (Fish in Need Society)
Lyn - fish on a bike
Lulu - seal with red ball
Europa - the cutest fish in fishdom
Pam - golfish
Alan & Rod - the iconic crabs
Chris - seahorse (deceased)
Jackie - angel fish
Jana - harpie fish
Uschi - flirty yellow fish
Johnnie - leader of the orcas
Hopeful - drunk fish
Aunt P - coffee advertisement announcer
Andy - cool dude fish
JudyL - floosie dolphin
Kate and Gubby (Dan) - kissing fish
King Neptune - as himself
Buster and Goldie - no one knows who they were.

We left our motley crew going their separate ways after their last adventure

King Neptune went back to ruling the oceans in a nice way.
Kev went back to the Mermaid Emporium.
JJ and CharM swam off to save the Barrier Reef
Doug took himself off with Alan and Rod for a vacation at their retreat.
Lyn and JudyL and were last seen heading towards the Gulf Stream.
Uschi took off with Johnnie and his team.
Kate and Gubby just carried on kissing.
Goldie and Buster - well whoever they were they went back to wherever they came from.
As for Europa - well she just went back to being the cutest fish in fishdom.

Lulu swam off with her red ball and as usual had fun flicking it off her nose and watching it bounce off the sea bed - however at one point she disturbed a rock and underneath it she found a postcard (this was the lost ' Answers on a Postcard' postcard - of course having such a short term memory loss - Lulu forgot she was the one who put it there - she turned it over and read it - what she read led her to let out such a mournful wail that resonated across the oceans - what could she have read that made her react that way

And so the tale continues.........

11-07-2004, 07:28 PM
It just so happened that, at that time , the miscievous (and somewhat handsome) shrimp Maltimus was passing. On hearing the mournful wail he went over to assist the fraught Lulu, who was now totally beside herself. Picking up the postcard he read the message..."beware for in the land of Lessdar, the evil ones are at this very moment sending out their forces to destroy all colour in the world as we know it, to reduce this land to the greys and blacks of the Lessdar underwater volcanoes. "

Maltimus too let out a wail."what can we do Lulu?"
"We have to fight this evil and protect our world from greydom...we must summon our friends!"...."and go on a quest"

11-07-2004, 07:33 PM
In a reef cave just rocks away from Maltimus and Lulu, the silent Parsifal heard their cries. Colour, colour, the world without colour, it can't be. Remembering those dark days without grails, Parsifal set out to join Maltimus and Lulu hoping that three fish would found an answer two wouldn't.

And off he swam!

11-07-2004, 07:38 PM
Maltimus looked up. His prayers had been answered ...there swimming towards him at a fantistic rate, was the majestic form of Parsifal...the recent winner of the allcomers fastest fish challenge.

Strawberry Wine
11-07-2004, 07:52 PM
Strawberry Betta was on the surface of the ocean doing what she loved to do best, which was blowing bubble nests onto the surface of the water,. She heard the ruckus far below her in the depth of the ocean. She slowly let herself sink and joined Maltimus, Parcifal and Lulu who was bouncing her red ball expertly.

" What is this that I hear is happening, I need sunlight to show off my colour; my fins are the most beutiful fins in all the oceans and the seas". I need the sunlight to show off my splender. I think that I must join you and perhaps three fish and one seal will be able conquer the evil of Lessdar.



11-07-2004, 07:57 PM
Arriving in haste, but determined, Parsifals inquired of the handsome shrimp Maltimus, "how do we, pray tell, gather our forces and form the Knightfish. It was just as Strawberry Betta arrived that the magical FIVE began their plan knowing full well that the majestic Europa would appear with words of wisdom and advice.

11-07-2004, 08:27 PM
It was just 24 hours after the end of the big adventure and Europa (the cute one) was enjoying herself partying at the infamous 'Deep Sea Karaoke Night'


She was halfway through her world famous rendition of ' Mack(eral) The Knife' when there was a sudden bright beam of light overhead encompassed by a strange mist. Everyone in the club swam for their lives but Europa was mesmerised and slowly into view came a beautiful fish and a glowing sea horse.

She realised that it was Jackie the Angel Fish who had come down to take Chris the seahorse up to that great ocean in the sky. Chris smiled at her and said - ' Hi Europa - bet you didn't expect to see me so soon'

'Errrr well no not really Chris ' she replied ' but must admit you are looking good'

'Thanks' replied Chris ' but am not here on a social visit - there is trouble again - Lulu has made an awful discovery and needs your help - you need to get to her straight away - just follow the light and we will guide you'

With that they slowly ascended upwards (well you do go up if you ascend don't you!!) until all that was left was a bright spot of light. It slowly moved out towards the door and Europa (looking particularly cute in this light) followed them.

They only seemed to have travelled a short distance when rounding a particularly large reef Europa saw a group huddled together. The bright light above her began to ascend even higher and she heard Jackie say - 'We will be with you all the way if you need us - just look for the light'

Europa immediately noticed a large red ball and a distraught Lulu sitting on the sea bed surrounded by a group of fish she didnt recognise.

Seeing her Lulu leapt up ' Oh Europa - you are here - we need help - let me introduce you to these fish who answered my call.

After the introductions were made (during which time Europa made a mental note of the handsome profile of the shrimp Maltimus) she was given the low down on what was happening - she quickly decided to send out a message far and wide to gather what members of the motley crew they could find and once again join with Maltimus - Parsifals and Strawberry Betta to fight this evil.

11-07-2004, 08:54 PM
On herring the news through the message sent by Europa, Amazeon Worman made haste to the aid of her fellow fishes. Wearing only net stockings (hoping to attract the attentions of the hunky Malitmus Maximus) she was welcomed with opened fins and sighs of reef (along with a few sideways glances from Lulu, strawberry Betta and Europa.)

How many more will take up fins and join the force they all wondered...

11-07-2004, 09:07 PM
Parsifals knowing the danger of a colour-less underworld, quickly swam into the undersea green world, still visible, seeking out the Roundreef and the Kingdim of Richardwhale. He :wave: to his finfriends and knew it would take much strength to reach the Isle of trueBlue.

mr sandbanx
11-07-2004, 09:35 PM
Turning to the ethereal Jackie, Chris (voice by Eddie Murphy) said

"I am not a donkey, nor an ordinary seahorse.... I am a STALLION!! Europa said I'm LOOOOOOOKING GOOD!!!!"

With that, and with a wave of one hoof and a wink... he returned to the heavens to watch over the little group, singing as he went:

oh... The oceans such a big place,
most of it is wet
A place that's fraught with danger.
There's sharks! A hook! A net!

there's fishermen and shrimping boats,
and predators (like sharks)
and fishing critics.... nasty those
with their "go on... add some darks!"

But the seahorse (neigh, the stallion)
he keeps a watchful eye.
On all the lovely ladies.
And that scaley, greenish guy.

11-07-2004, 11:34 PM
As Amazeon Worman swishes past the Great Barrier Reef she calls out "yoo-hoo, follow me" to JJ and Char. She continues on at ligthening speed leaving behind in a whirl of bubbles...

"Well" says JJ http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/07-Nov-2004/22284-fish079.gif "looks like we are needed Char. Guess our work here can wait awhile, aye. I DO have itchy fins, need to be "out" there again you know, how about you"???

Char http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/07-Nov-2004/22284-fish062.gif swished her gorgeous purple fins and tail and said "I'm in if you are.. lets go!!"

So with a shish and a flick in a blur of bubbles the girls caught a wave, and were right on Amazeon Womans tail.

They pulled into the reef and waited for introductions to be made.

Char preening her gorgeous purple fins, and JJ just preening.. :D well here we are, whats-up???????? Who are the new comers?????

11-08-2004, 07:13 AM
Maltimus stepped (many times )forward . "why hello. I'm Maltimus, you must be JJ and Char. I have heard of you: you're talents,expertise and good looks precede you"
"we have a real problem here and it will take your and everyone else's talents to overcome this catasphrophy.A great journey ,full of adventure (with the occasional stop for pleine eau) is about to take place"

11-08-2004, 08:27 AM
Meanwhile out on their island retreat - Alan and Rod (the iconic crabs) were regaling their heyday adventures to Doug who was somewhat more chilled out and less grumpy than usual. The rest seemed to have softened his normally gruff manner - however this was all to change.

Sat their in the peaceful ambience they were soon disturbed by the sound of an oh so too familiar voice.

'For goodness sake Hopeful - puff! puff! - will you put that bottle down - you are upsetting my equilibrium - puff!! puff!'


And there into view came Lyn - pedalling furiously on her scooter (yes her electrics had once again been shorted out!!) - flapping unceremoniously within the confines of her saddlebag they could just make out Hopeful swigging as usual from a large bottle.

'Yoohooooo - chaps! - ahoy there - puff! puff!' shouted Lyn as she wobbled to a halt in front of the three old men of the sea. The lid of her saddlebag opened and Hopeful appeared - and with a crooked smile - burped and fell onto the floor - still clutching the bottle (gosh this girl has style!!)


'Oh well - there goes the neighbourhood' muttered Doug under his breath.

'Dear Ladies' said Alan - ever the genial host ' What brings you to our sceptered island retreat'

'Well dearie' said Lyn - regaining her composure - we have had urgent news regarding Lulu - it seems she needs our help as soon as possible - something about the evil ones of Lessdar plotting to remove the colour from our world'

'Oh great' said Doug - reverting back to his usual grumpy self - ' I suppose we will have to go and sort this mess out again'

'Errrrrr as far as I remember old chap ' volunteered Rod - 'but you were in the mess last time'

' Harrumph!' glared Doug

'Come along dearies - no time to waste - we must get going - I have sent JudyL to fetch Kev from that god forsaken Mermaids Emporium - let us just hope she doesnt get herself lumbered with some smooth talking - hard drinking dolphin again'

'Hic!! - did someone mentioned drink - Hic!' - stuttered Hopeful.

'Oh shut up and get back in the bag you old sop' said Lyn rather impatiently.

And with that our little group set off to find Lulu and the rest of the crew.


11-08-2004, 08:43 AM
jay-t-fish was lying at the bottom of the ocean surrounded by her purchses from sea-bay contemplating doing something. .......well anything......well nothing too exhausting....... when suddenly the beautiful silk thread ( from seabay) attached to the exquisite brass bell ( also from seabay) tinkled as only an underwater bell knows how to tinkle........... she reached out with a lazy fin and delicately touched the line........and sensed the urgent vibrations of Maltimus the handsome shrimp................. now whatever he wanted was sure to be worth making a move for she thought......even if it meant dragging herself away from seabay. for a while........... no bad thing as she was running out of empty crab-shells to store things in......... now which way to swim to find him?................and what exactly did he want....... her imagination was running riot when.......................

11-09-2004, 03:21 PM
:eek: :o :o

11-09-2004, 09:45 PM
Jay T fish was just making sure everything she had bought from Seabay was safely packed away when she heard a voice shouting her.

'Yoohooooooo - Jay T - yoohoooooooo' it was JLyn the floosie dolphin.

'Oh no' thought Jay T - 'that is all I need - that floosie calling in to regale me with her tales of the fish she has met'

'Gosh am glad I saw you' said JLyn - swishing her tail as she settled herself in a pose on one of Jay T's shells.

'I need you to come with me to the Mermaid Emporium - I have to find Kev and Lyn has given me strict instructions that I musn't be sidetracked by some smoothie fish flashing his scales at me - so I thought if I took you along you could make sure I get the job done'

'The Mermaid Emporium!' replied Jay T - 'THE MERMAID EMPORIUM' (JLyn thought she sounded like Lady Bracknell from The Importance of Being Earnest but decided against mentioning it1)

'Do you think' Jay T proceeded ' that a fish such as I frequents such a den of iniquity - I - a fish of such breeding I once worked for the BBC (that's the Barnacle Broadcasting Corporation for those who don't know :wink2: )

'Errrrrr well no of course not ' spluttered JLyn - ' but I thought that with your mastery of quick wit and repartee you can get us in the inner sanctum so we can get Kev'

Jay T - (always one to succumb to flattery) - thought for a few minutes and smiling at JLyn said ' Well yes dearie - I can see where my witticism and vast knowledge of comical language would help in these matters - so yes I will come with you'

And with that our unlikely duo set off to drag Kev out of the Mermaid Emporium and reunite him with the rest of the motley crew!!

Will anyone manage to come up with a plan?
Will Jay T and JLyn be able to drag Kev away?
Will Hopeful ever sober up?
Will Lulu manage to remember her name this time?
Who is this Maltimus shrimp?
Are Parsifal and Strawberry who they seem to be?
Will Doug ever stop complaining?
Where are the rest of the motley crew?
Will Alan be thrilled to see Europa again?
What is that fish doing with fishnets on?
Is Rod getting crabby in his old age?


Can someone let Pearl know she is back in the advertising business!!!!


11-10-2004, 12:10 AM
Huffing and puffing, Lyn, (wearing that lovely green pants suit) wondered as she pedaled how she had gotten lumbered with that lush Hopeful again!!


"I wonder if that floozie JLyn will possibly be able to pry Kev loose from the Emporium! She'll probably start flirting with one of those handsome waiters; you know, the Sole Brothers!" Lyn panted to Hopeful, not expecting an answer from the lush.


Surprisingly, Hopeful squealed, "The Sole Brothers! Ooooh, they are soooo good looking. I'd love to be able to have a date with one of them!"

"A date--with you? Are you kidding? You can't get within 5 fathoms of your breath, you idiot!" Lyn yelled over her shoulder at Hopeful, still pedaling furiously.

Hopeful, suddenly looking dejected as only a little yellow fish can, muttered, "I'll show her--she thinks she's something in that stunning green pants suit! I'm gonna stop drinking and sober up and get a date with both of those gorgeous Sole Brothers, so there!" With that, Hopeful threw back her head and downed another pint of Scotch!


11-10-2004, 05:39 AM
Kev should have been enjoying himself at the Mermaid Emporium, But .......

Kev was not at the Mermaid Emporium, unbeknown to the rest of the group he had already seen ‘The Answer’s On a Postcard’ postcard, and under instruction from the top fish of all Cod, Kev had made, poste haste, to the land of Lessdar, and was working undercover, he was on a Mission from Cod. (I just luv the Blues Brothers).


Kev was now colourless grey, and not feeling very attractive, But had taken on a new persona, a fish with attitude. It was part of his cover in the land of Lessdar, where everyfish, and even crustation, had teeth.

Unfortunately, Kev's disguise was a spell used from his memory, which isn’t good these days, and every now and the colour comes back, this could put Kev in danger, as he swims the volcanic grey depths of the land of Lessdar.

Whoops he’s done it again!!

11-10-2004, 10:41 AM
OK ,OK, OK Quit your crabbing cute fish :) someone sent me a sonar blip and Heeeere I am fin-ally.

Now then fishie readers , lets just take some time out from our fintastic tail to have a wee word or two from our SPONSOR the famous , the fabulous ,the fintastic

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/10-Nov-2004/28847-1.gif Let me just spin ye all a bit of a tail now . do ye know that if you have trouble keeping awake whilst reading this fishie tome that just a few wee sips of timmie's brew an' ye'll be wide awake for hours on end??? sooooo give it a try me heartie mates and ye'll be hooked for sure
OH and how's about a wee donut to go with yer brewhttp://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/10-Nov-2004/28847-doughnut.JPG

NOW ......Back to that sitting on the edge of your barnacle story . Who? what? when? and most important of all WHY?

edit.. Beware of the sharks OK

11-10-2004, 11:02 AM

That would be me said buster, the tank bully - every one is scared of me!

11-10-2004, 11:24 AM
Meanwhile back at base camp - Europa (the cute one) was surprised to see Buster turn up unannounced and even more surprisingly he seemed to have a bit of an attitude about him.

Swimming over to him Europa said ' Well well Buster - how nice to see you here - errrrrrrr where is your friend Goldie'

'Oh I dumped that loser ' growled Buster (did I mention he was a DOG fish :wink2: ) and with that he pushed Europa to one side roughly and made his way to the group.

'Well of all the .............' thought Europa to herself ' there is no accounting for manners - he seems to have undertaken a bit of a personality change - I hope he hasnt been sniffing that wacky seaweed - methinks I will have to keep an eye on him'

With that she swam back to the group just as Lyn arrived puffing and coughing and spitting.

'Yooohoooo dearies - am here - Doug and Alan and Rod are on their way'

Europa (the cute one) was thrilled to see her bud and swam over eagerly - 'Hey where's Hopeful? she enquired

'Oh gosh don't mention her - she is asleep in the saddlebag - drunk again - I really don't know what we are going to do with her!'

'Well come and get a drink - you must be thirsty after all that pedalling'

On hearing the word drink Hopeful burst out of the saddle bag ' Did someone mention drink - Hic! - I'll have another pleassh' and with that once again she burped and floated down to the sea bed as per usual'


mr sandbanx
11-10-2004, 08:42 PM
Chris the Seahorse gazed wisely down from above, wondering when this little school of fish would ever get themselves shychronized? And while he sipped at his Tim Hortons (large, one cream, double pankton), he did as he was often wont to do: He sung a little tune:

They need a leader soon this school
But who? It does not matter.
for if they fail to hatch a plan,
They'll soon be dipped in batter.

11-10-2004, 08:57 PM
They need a leader soon this school
But who? It does not matter.
for if they fail to hatch a plan,
They'll soon be dipped in batter.

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/10-Nov-2004/22284-roll.gif http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/10-Nov-2004/22284-roll.gif http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/10-Nov-2004/22284-27_laughing.gif http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/10-Nov-2004/22284-11613-rofll.gif

11-11-2004, 05:23 AM
Europa (the cute one) - in a moment of contemplation - suddenly noticed a faint iridescent light above and the faint sound of singing. Smiling to herself she realised that it must be Chris the seahorse - she knew that Jackie the Angel fish would keep an eye on Chris - after all he had been known to be a bit of a boyo when he was alive - especially when it came to visiting the local deep sea bars.

That had all changed of course due to his demise - and even if he did nip down to visit the bars again - he would only be served soft drinks - it was well known that the drinking establishments of the deep didn't serve spirits!!!!

(ROTFL - get it - spirits!! - he's dead so he is a spirit - so he wouldnt get served.....oh never mind!!)

11-11-2004, 07:53 AM
Ooooooooooooooooooooooh Pat. **groan**

11-12-2004, 09:05 AM
It was taking an AGE for jayT and that floozie Jlyn to get to the mermaid Emporium.......... for a start jayT couldnt find the piece of coral that locked her crabshells ........ and when they did finally get away Jlyn the floozie dolphin kept zooming off to check out every little fishy tail just in case it was attached to a handsome body. ....while jayT kept sashaying to a halt to listen to the sweet music drifting down from above her.......

:music: :music:
Where have all the fishes gone?
We're here casting
Where have all the fishes gone?
We'd really like to know
Where have all the fishes gone?
We cant see a single one
Where have all the fishes gone?
soon we'll have to go ........ :music: :music:

.......except , as she struggled to catch the words bubbling down through the water she realised they werent quite so sweet after all........... and that delicate morsel jlyn was about to snap up was attached to ..........

a fishing line !!!!

stooooooooooooop !!! jayT shouted.......

....... but too late..............**^&(*&^%$$%^&****!!!!!!!!!!

11-12-2004, 09:35 AM
Ooooooooh , Think we better take a break here mates and catch our breath , Wow this is so exciting !! SO relax a wee while with a take out hot cuppa "TIMMIE'S" Latte and a wee timbit or three ( aww common they are just teeny weeny things ) http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/12-Nov-2004/28847-10.JPG http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/12-Nov-2004/28847-Timbits.jpeg
Now !!.... let's all go back and see what mess that JLyn has got herself into , and who knew Jayt fish knew all those
{censored} words and could sing so well ? (me thinks she plagerized the tune tho)

11-12-2004, 08:46 PM
Now Maltimus the shrimp , apart from being somewhat handsome, was also somewhat of a hero...on seeing the dilema that Jlyn was in, sacrificed himself and sprung toward the fishing line to substitute his very being for the beautifull form of Jlyn (knowing full well that the recipient of said shrimp at the other end of the fishing line, would surely throw him back into the sea)....

11-12-2004, 09:37 PM
My hero, My hero..... shouted jayT...... as the handsome Maltimus launched himself at the line..........


.. .......too late .......

.......just as Maltimus grabbed the tasty morsel on the line JLyn gulped ......

...........and swallowed.....

....and Maltimus found himself down in the deep dark belly of the floozie dolphin.............

11-12-2004, 09:50 PM
Oh good grief. ............. :eek:

Jlyn what have you done????

What is going to happen to the 2 of you when that guy pulls up his line???

OH ME.......

OH MY...........


11-12-2004, 10:02 PM
Meanwhile Amazeon Worman had lost her way and consequently got herself caught in a deep sea fishing net. All alone and very unhappy she had tried calling to Maltimus, her one time Knight in shining armour for help, but he was now far away saving the beautiful Jlyn. Poor Amazeon, what was she to do? She decided to prayed to Chris The Seahorse for guidance and see if he couldn't arrange a rescue. As she waited for her prayers to be answered (...it was going to be a while for Chris was busy sipping his Tim Hortons and he wasn't one to have his coffee breaks interupted) she began to drown her sorrows in song ...

Oh woe is me I'm no longer free
For I'm caught inside of a fishing net
My fins are tied, as I lay on my side
And Maltimus hasn't come resue me yet

Where oh where can my life saver be?
Why hasn't he bothered to rescue me?
Will I drown right here in the deep blue see?
Will someone please come and set me free?

Chris is having his coffee break
And so my prayer is put on hold
How long will it take for goodness sake?
Will I be here until I grow old?

Where oh where can my life saver be?
Why hasn't he bothered to resue me?
Will I drown right here in the deep blue see?
Will someone please come and set me free?

mr sandbanx
11-12-2004, 10:10 PM
Yeah Malty has sacrificed himself... where's my coffee??

oh yes ... ahem.....

Meanwhile above the surface of the waves loomed a mackerel sky:


and far above that, Chris the Seahorse, sipped at his heavenly Irn Brau and made a mental not to thank Flatwo (the soul fish) for the birthday gift. And because it was a slow night at the WETCanvas site, he hummed a tune:

It seems these little fishies,
have found themselves some troubles.
And someone ate too much plankton
(which explains that spate of bubbles)

They have the tools to save themselve
As soon as they make a wish
For even the bottom dwellers
have a guardian angel fish.

For now I'll sit and watch from here
and see if they posess
the fishy attributes required.
to release them from this mess.

11-13-2004, 07:48 AM
Europa (the cute one) - after being pushed aside by Buster was still feeling rather miffed - she looked around the group and realised that the handsome Maltimus was missing.

'Errrrrrr anyone seen Maltimus?' she enquired

'He went off a while ago to see if he could find some of the other motley crew' said Lyn - 'didnt he mention it to you dearie'

'No he didn't' replied Europa feeling even more miffed - thinking to herself it would have been nice to have gone along with him. 'Oh well let's hope he finds them quickly - I don't know where half of them are - they are taking their sweet time to get here'

Just then she heard a familiar voice ' Will you slow down Alan - your claws are stirring up the seabed and its playing havoc with my gills - Harrumph!!'

Into view came the iconic crabs Alan and Rod and behind them - coughing and spluttering (and moaning) was Doug. All thoughts of the handsome Maltimus faded from Europa's mind as she saw her hero Alan - :o - putting on her cutest smile she swam over - ' Hiyaaaaaaa - gosh I missed you guys - where have you been'

'Missed us ' growled Doug - ' we have only been gone a couple of days you silly fish'

Europa glared at Doug and swimming next to Alan she fluttered her beautiful eyelids saying ' Sooooooo how have you been'

Blushing a rather bright red and shifting nervously on the seabed Alan said ' Oh my gosh - I do believe that is Hopeful shouting me'

'I can't hear her' said Europa - by which time Alan had scuttled across the floor and was lost amongst the group. Lulu - seeing the disappointment on Europa's cute face came over and put a friendly flipper around her - 'Dont worry Europa - am sure he likes you really'

Suddenly the crew were astonished to hear a loud cry in the distance 'Helpppppppppp - Helllllllpppppppppppppppp!!' and into view puffing and dragging what seemed to be shell cases behind her - came JT ' Oh goshy gosh gosh - thank cod I have found you - you have to come and help - gasp! - Maltimus has been swallowed by Jlyn - gasp! - and she is stuck on a fishing line - gasp!

'What are you talking about?' said Rod - 'why would Jlyn swallow Maltimus'

'No time to explain' gasped Jay T - ' just come with me'

'Right!' said Doug ' you lot stay here and me and Alan and Rod will go and see what is happening'

With that they set off back to find Jlyn and Maltimus leaving the others to sit and ponder the following -

Will Doug, Alan , Rod and Jay T be able to rescue Maltimus and JLyn?
Will anyone find Amazeon Woman stuck in the net?
Does Jackie the Angel Fish realise how much coffee Chris is drinking?
Have Char, JJ , Parsifal and Strawberry gone to sleep?

Who knows the answers - and in fact who really cares!!

11-13-2004, 09:35 AM
Now while the heavenly seahorse sipped his scottish fizz in the mackerel sky and Amazeon sang her sad song from her netty cage mebaoning the absence of everybodies hero, Maltimus, the said hero was getting a bit battered and bruised inHis ribby-cage........ and in jlyns ribby-cage too.

The angler was having trouble landing his catch.........first hed hike the rod UP ( no, not THAT Rod) then he'd let the heavy floozie fall ....... then hike UP... the let fall.......... and every time poor hero Maltimus was thrown rib to rib............"oh, how I *WISH* this bouncing around would stop" said Maltimus....... with which the line broke and jlyn spiralled to the ocean bottom making Maltimus quite dizzy as well as bruised.... but STILL INSIDE !!

seahorse stoped his sipping for moment, peered over the top of his barnacles ..... pushed them back up the bridge of his nose and sighed......

"silly Maltimus..........more shrimp than hero....... fancy wasting your *wish * just for the line to break "..... then he raised the tinny to his lips again and continued to sip...........

meanwhile, in his ribby cage, Maltimus was just relieved that the bouncing had stopped and settled down while it was quiet for a little kip......inother words .........a kipper ........:D

11-13-2004, 09:44 AM
Char and JJ are coming to the rescue, but they doooooooooooo have a long way to swim all the way from the Great Barrier Reef you..

Someone give JLyn a bottle, when she hiccups Maltimus should pop out.. :D http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/13-Nov-2004/22284-27_laughing.gif

11-13-2004, 11:07 AM
CharM, in her perfect purpleness, dragging a bit of purple kelp along with her left fin, finally caught up to JJ... "sheesh, you know I can't swim as fast as I used to, JJ..."

JJ just smiled weakly and pointed to her ruined coral garden... :crying: :crying: :crying:

"Never mind your ruined garden, g/f, what's going on here? Where is everyone? What have I missed?"

JJ sputtered something unintelligible... "Malty... Jlyn..." "Doug, Alan, Rod and JayT...." "net... Amazeon..."

"Oh for heaven sake, JJ... where's Europa (the cute fish)? Maybe she can help me get caught up..."

Poor JJ just covered her eyes with her fins... sobbing all the while... CharM felt so bad for her that she enfolded her little body into the bosom of her purpleness... I mean, who wouldn't be comforted by all that purple???

Meanwhile, there was an awful commotion going on...

mr sandbanx
11-13-2004, 12:50 PM
High in the heaven's, Chris the Seahorse (noble steed) thumbed through the pages of the instruction manual... "let's see he muttered.. Jonson, Jones, Jon... ah here it is: Jonah" and she sat back to read, all the while humming softly:

Now Europa (she's the cute one)
Is missing one key question?
Oh will our beloved jlyn,
Expire of indigestion?

For we all know the caddyfish
is toxic when not fried
Better call the Xray fish
To take a peek inside.

I suspect you'll see him loafing,
Her insides he's usurped.
And if her tummy's bubbling.
would be best if Jlyn burped.

I guess I ought to help them.
send angel down there quick,
let's see who is available?
hmmm, an eel. I'll send Heimlich!


Quickly he summoned the slippery eel to his side.

Now Heimlich your not quiteafish,
not noblefish or jellyfish
not Charming, like a purplefish
you're not even very cleverish
but seems our old friend Maltimus,
in act of bold unshellfishness
has caused Jlyn some belly swish
so go with great fastidinousness
and rescue him from darkishness
so the rest can act like proper fish,
and continue with their nobleish,

and on the way back bring me coffee.

11-13-2004, 02:34 PM
High in the heaven's, Chris the Seahorse (noble steed) thumbed through the pages of the instruction manual... "let's see he muttered.. Jonson, Jones, Jon... ah here it is: Jonah" and she sat back to read, all the while humming softly:

Ooooooh didn't know they did sex changes in fishy heaven :evil:

mr sandbanx
11-13-2004, 02:57 PM
Chris the Seahorse (REAL NOBLE STEED) was momentarily speechless! And when he was speechless he did what he always did.. he hummed.

So go ahead, make your jokes,
get it off your chests
It seems I made mistakes this week
(spelled poorly, painted breasts..)

Its just that Spritey slapped me good.
For my 'snowperson" mistake
A snowmans not a man no more
I'm confused for goodness sake.

By broken thumbs and poems
and superhero names.
And fishies all in dissaray
But there's no time for games.

Theres Malty to be rescued
he faces dreadful fate
and if you fish don't focus
you'll be on a dinner plate.

So get on with the story
it soon must have a plot
don't use me for excuses.
Hmmm... this coffee's hot.

11-13-2004, 07:00 PM

From Timmy Horton's Here's a cuppa coffee
and a donut with a tad of toffee
for the Noble Sea Horse steed
Who is going to do
such a very noble deed
and oh! if only he would quit the humming
I thing the solution would be forthcoming.

mr sandbanx
11-13-2004, 07:18 PM
I sing because I'm happy....
I sing because I'm freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee


But what about Amazingfish?
Our lost and lonely Zealishfish?
She's trapped alone without a hope
Beyond the continental slope.

11-13-2004, 08:20 PM
Since the last great big adventure (two days previously) Johnnie the leader of the Orcas (thats killer whales to those not up with their fish and mammals) - had been trying to think of ways to get rid of Uschi the bright yellow fish who had taken it upon herself to follow along with them on their way to the breeding grounds.

'Sooooo Uschi honey ' said Johnnie - 'ahm shure y'all have some family who will be worried about you'

'No not really' smiled Uschi - 'I only have an old aunt who spends her days in the fish home knitting covers for the baby clams so they don't get cold in the winter'

'Oh right' replied Johnnie ' only we is on our way to our breeding grounds honey and I don't really think it's the plaice for you'

'Are you trying to get rid of me ' Uschi looked at Johnnie with tears in her eyes.

Just as Johnnie was about to reply they heard a sound from beyond the old shipwreck they were passing.

Oh woe is me - I have no clue
Am caught in this net
What will I do

Swimming over the masthead they saw Amazeon fish trapped in a large net - when she saw them she started to flip her fins excitedly ' Yoohooooooo - am over here - yoohooooooo'

'Why little lady' asked Johnnie ' what are you doing there'

' I was on my way to the big meeting - it seems there is trouble ahead from the land of the lessdars and everyone is gathering together to see can be done - then suddenly I found myself caught in this net with no way out'

Uschi saw this as her opportunity to impress Johnnie and swimming up to the net she started to nibble at it. Now normally this would be an impossible job but unbeknown to Uschi she just happened to nibble on a weak part of the net and before long had made a hole big enough for Amazeon to swim out to freedom.

'Oh thank you - thank you ' said Amazeon and swam over to Johnnie and planted a big fishy kiss on his face - Uschi turned from yellow to purple to green and back to yellow. Johnnie - noticing this thought to himself ' Oops there could be trouble ahead'

'Well we had better go see what is happening and offer our services' said Johnnie and turning to the group of killer whales he shouted ' Come on lads - our help is needed' This was met by an audible groan - after all they were on their way to the breeding grounds and this only happened once a year so you can imagine how slightly miffed they all were.

'Ladies - you can ride on my back - we will get their quicker' shouted Johnnie as he set off. Quick as a flash Uschi darted past Amazeon - knocking her sideways - and planted herself on the most comfortable place she could find on Johnnie leaving Amazeon to hang on to his tail.

So as the various group members gather - we wonder dear reader how the intrepid Kev is on his mission - and where is Brian with the MASSIVE fins?


11-13-2004, 08:49 PM
Meanwhile Maltimus the Magnificent (and somewhat handsome) has to wait till he's rescued...so he sings to himself ... in hope of rescue... that classic Beatles number..." When your'e six foot four"

11-13-2004, 08:50 PM
JJ sobbing quietly in the comfort of Chars gorgeous purple fins sniffles and then Woooooooooooooooosh Char is spun around in a whirlpool of bubbles, JJ is unceromoniously dumped on the sea bed landing on a sharp [piece of dead coral. "OUCH"

What was that?????????????????????

Johnnie and his crew have just swum past and lookie there at that flash of yellow. Is that Uschi haning on for dear life to Johnnies tail ???

"Oh My" says Char... "Come on JJ get up, dust yourself off, we had better follow them quick smart and see what is going on!!"

So JJ picks herself up, flicks off the dead coral stuck to her fins and the two swish, flick, swim off after Johnnie and all.........................

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/13-Nov-2004/22284-fish062.gif http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/13-Nov-2004/22284-fish079.gif


11-13-2004, 09:59 PM
Meanwhale, back under the shadow of the fishingboat, JLyn the floozie dolphin was sitting on a rock higgling her increasingly sore belly. ......... while the not-so-magnificent-or-handsome-any-more shrimp Maltimus had awoken refreshed from his kipper ( litle kip, remember :D) and decided to throw his weight about in the hopes of getting the dolphin to burp. To Jlyn it felt a bit like the later stages of pregnancy........but, despite her floozie reputation, she knew that, unless it was a case of a second coming and virgin birth this was unlikely.

Suddenly a vision appeared before her of M the M the HS diving for the tasty morsel on the fishing line and reaching it just before she, the floozie, closed her capacious mouth...... and she remebered just what had happened.

' Oh dear', she whaled.........' I do hope JayT gets help soon and doesnt stop by too many charity shells and fill her crabcases with things she could have got from seabay !' and shes stared singing a sad little song

:music: theres a pain in my belly dear jayT dear jayT
Theres a pain in my belly - its Maltimus shrimp.... :music:

:music: when will we be rescued dear jayT dear jayT
when will we get rescued dear jayT.......... :music:

" Eeh Bah Gum lass, sooner than ye think.............." it was Doug....... a bit red in the fins fro rushing about trying to herd the others.to keep up..........especially jayT with her bulging crabshells........

" Oh, Doug" cried floozie throwing herself at him ' Am I pleased to see you'

but before Doug could answer.......................

11-16-2004, 07:39 PM
Angelfish searching for Chris with orders from above to slow down on the coffee!
There you are Chris, hurry it is time you earn your angel fins? Your help is needed, contact the cute one right away. You must hurry before the holidays arrive.

11-16-2004, 08:09 PM
Maltimus the Magificent was on the third verse of the Beatles number, when he suddenly had the oddest feeling that Chris the Seahorse was trying to contact him!!!! (thought he also heard "roll up the fin to win" but he could have been mistaken)

mr sandbanx
11-16-2004, 08:36 PM
A stallion with fins! This was exactly the type of thing that Doris would have said, he thought and his eyes glazed over as the fond memories flooded in.

Chris the starfish, steedlike and all that, looked up from his coffee and then down into the murky seas far below...

Sigh... must be those whales stirring things up again! Things are so disorganized lately!

When I was in school, was always a rule.
we were organized, swam all in sync
but those days are gone, like Antarctic prawn
whose distinctly, succinctley extinct.

We sang in the chorus, me and ol' Doris
and all of the rest of the gang
we sang without troubles, accompanied by bubbles
with sangfroid, we sang! How we sang!

Oh well he thought, maybe I do need to get down there for a bit and see if there is anything I can for this bunch. But first, another coffee.

11-16-2004, 09:43 PM

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/16-Nov-2004/28847-seah4xs.gif http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/16-Nov-2004/28847-23460-coffeewhite.gif

11-19-2004, 12:57 AM
Where is everybody ????????????????? http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/19-Nov-2004/22284-fjedergif.gif

Brian Barnes
11-19-2004, 04:14 AM
While the others were off performing their foolish antics and munching donuts, Brian quietly took it upon himself to call in a "favour" from an old friend. Someone had to do something .............. and fast!


11-19-2004, 04:37 AM

11-19-2004, 06:46 AM
........... the trouble was, before he managed to spit out what exactly the favour was that he wanted to call in.... Brian realised where he was....... suffered a bout of vertigo ...........and tumbled to the floor where he lay flapping and gasping...........

'water...... water.......... water............'

he gazed up at the extended arm........ and realised the favour would be to return him to the sea ........... and not , after all, to rescue the valiant Maltimus, who by now was on his third complete rendition of all the Beatles numbers he could remember...... ie three............ including Yellow Submarine. which is perhaps why he suddenly had the weirdest thought..........

Brian Barnes
11-19-2004, 04:40 PM
Meanwhile ........ Brian, being thrown unceremoniously into the sea, was struck with a profound thought ........... "Dohhhhhhh!"


Oh well ....... now the dashing hero had to formulate a plan B ........... only part of which he would divulge ........... (provide the valiant Maltimus a link to more Beatles lyrics to keep him entertained). Beatles (http://www.lyrics.com/b/beatles%2C%5Fthe/)

That done, Brian couldn't remember the nature of the urgent problem at hand. Heroes are always taught in Hero School that step 1 is to identify the problem. "Dohhhhh!" again.

Better ask one of the bottom feeding donut munchers.

11-19-2004, 06:47 PM
Chris - on his 10th cup of coffee in as many minutes - was suddenly grabbed from behind by Jackie the Angel Fish who dragged him over to the BIG FISH!!!

'What the.......get off me you mad angel' said Chris as Jackie dumped him in a heap on the sea cloud. Dusting himself down Chris was just about to remonstrate with his guardian angel when he noticed a shadow and it was getting bigger. He looked up and there in front of him was BIG FISH (or COD for short! :evil: )

Cod said 'Oh woe is me that one of my trainee angels should despair me so'

Chris looked around at Jackie and said 'See - you are in BIG trouble now!!'

'Not me you idiot!' said Jackie - 'it's you SHE means - it's all that coffee you are drinking'

Chris gulped and grabbing his Santa hat off his head (yes he still had the hat on!!) - looked up and with eyes wide said 'Errrrrrr am sorry COD - only am new at this and well like these long days are killing my inner clock and i need to keep my wits about me'

'ENOUGH!!' said COD

'Blimey ' said Chris aside to Jackie ' What's her problem - PMT or something?'

Jackie flipped her fin against Chris's tail and he found himself once more prone on the sea cloud. 'Ouch!!'

Cod moved closer to Chris and leaning right in to him said ' I am a benevolent Cod and so I will give you another chance - you must first of all promise me to cut down on the coffee - limit yourself to one per hour - decaff!!'

'Errrr yes ok' said Chris 'I promise'

'Now I need you to go and find Kev in the land of Lessdar and find out exactly what information he has managed to acquire and then to gather the rest of the motley crew and give them the lowdown.'

Get it!! Got it!!! Good!!!! and with that COD swam away in a sea of heavenly harps.

'Well come on' said Jackie ' we had better get a move on - there are troubled times ahead'

Meanwhile in Lessdar - Kev was having his own problems.

(Psssssst can someone tell Kev his input is needed on the story!!!!)

11-19-2004, 07:12 PM
Maltimus, who by now was on his third complete rendition of all the Beatles numbers he could remember...... ie three............ including Yellow Submarine. which is perhaps why he suddenly had the weirdest thought..........

"we all live in a yellow submarine, a yellow submarine, a yellow submarine...."..Hey, if this threat were to materialize, the YELLOW submarine would be a GREY submarine complete with Grey Meanies.....and all the beautiful fish would become ordinary and GREY, yet ME being grey already, would remain handsome and Magnificent


....UUUMMMM--maybe this threat isn't a bad idea after all....OR IS MY MIND BEING TAKEN OVER AND INFLUENCED by The Great Overseeing Eye of the Underwater Wash, ......that all "PRESENT AND MULTI POWERFULL ENTITY" (P.A.M.P.E. for short) residing in the Rocky formations of Lessdar?... No that can't be .... 'cos she loves colour....must be somefish else!...OR AM I GOING MAD? MAD, MAD I TELL YOU! Got to get outa here! HHEEELLLPPPP!

11-19-2004, 07:42 PM
Suddenly, Jlyn the Floozie Porpoise, who had been curled up clutching her belly while Maltimus danced around inside to keep himself warm.........let out and ENORMOUS belch.................and maltimus, the grey but ever so handsome shrimp shot out as if jet propelled ..............jayT tried to grab a whisker as he went past..........but it came out in her fin..........so grabbing her crabcases....... and brandishing the whisker in her tail . .....she chased after him leaving the bemused Jlyn and whoever alse was around ( but jayT was so shortsighted and forgetful she simply couldnt remember who was there and who wasnt by now) with their mouths agape and blowing double bubbles...........which drifted to the top of the ocean and were seen by........................

11-19-2004, 09:48 PM
JT... I'm here... at least I think I am... I've lost all track of time... I've lost my way... where am I??? ...what's happening???

I'm so confused!!!!! I mean... I can hear Beatles!!! They can't live underwater can they??? Unless... is there a yellow submarine around here somewhere???


...and where in fishydom is Kev???

The P.A.M.P.E.???


JT reached over to hold CharM's fins and pointed to the surface... in her perfect purpleness, CharM looked up to follow the stream of bubbles and........... Neptune help us, she whispered...............

mr sandbanx
11-19-2004, 10:47 PM
"Decaf..." he muttered under his breath as he swam away. "It was so nice here, quiet, the "all you can eat plankton cafe".... sigh... I knew it was too good to last." The little seahorse swam towards his little seahorse stable, to pack for the journey before him. Being United Church of Canada (Atlantic Conference), the pulpitfish had told him many times that Cod was a SHE, but was still somewhat startled to see that this was true. "Explains a lot of things" he thought to himself.

He gathered his saddlebags and began to pack... and while he did, guess what? He hummed.....

A mission I am sent on,
It was ordained by Cod
and if I fail to 'complish it,
I surely will be scrod.

And here I am not feeling good
I am a sickly fella
but go I must, its my own fault
for dating Salmon Ella.

Must put my thinking carp on
make a plan so's not to fail
To find the elusive fish is tough!
I'd rather find the holy grail.

So bags are packed I'm ready to go
And hunt the missing Kevin
And find the jellykneed fish I must
Or I shan't return to fishy heaven

Then he was off to collect Jackie. "hopefully she will not slow me down. The last thing a seahorse needs when on a mission from Cod is to be saddled down with a slow companion"

11-19-2004, 11:06 PM
And off swam Chris-fish................................looking for kev...........

JJ http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/19-Nov-2004/22284-fish079.gif comes swimming up behind Char and JT all outta breath.

Phew Char you sure do get sidetracked woman, I heard you nicked up to Sylvish's place for a french gourmet dinner and all, left me way behind you did.. :crying:

JT reached over to JJ and wrapped her other fin around her and said Shhhhhhhh woman.......look up there........ :eek:

JJ looked up and let out a slow waaaaaaaaaaaaaaail aaaaaaaaaand fainted!!!!!!!!

11-19-2004, 11:59 PM
Someone..................................Helpppppp...........JJ's fainted
What was JJ looking at?????????
Let me take a peek,ooooooohhhh gulp gulp...........

Brian Barnes
11-20-2004, 03:59 AM

11-20-2004, 11:24 AM
Whoooowhoooo This tail is getting frightening so please close your childrens eyes .
Fish feinting right and left what is happening in waterworld ???? Methinks we need a break to relax .
SOOooooo. lets take a wee moment and refresh our selves with a tad caffeine
(except for http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/20-Nov-2004/28847-seah5s.gifwho gets decaf. )
so swim along with Mitch and and enjoy
Java and donuts at Timmie's


mr sandbanx
11-20-2004, 04:06 PM
Chris the Seahorse looked over his shoulder to see that Jackie was missing? "Where did she get too?" he thought... "Oh well, I am on a mission from Cod and if it is ordained that Jackie not come along, then so be it. I will find her later and I am sure someone will take care of her.

He checked his compass, turned right, doffed his cap at a little katinhatfish who swam by with box marked :"Jellyfish, Lime Green, Artists Grade", and swam off into the gloom... humming....

Must focus mind on task ahead
consider what I'm doing.
I cannot worry about the rest
Hmmm.... is that coffee brewing?

doo dee doo do, I am a horse of course of course.....

Brian Barnes
11-20-2004, 06:22 PM
Poor JJ has had an extremely rare close encounter with the legendary monster Ogopogo, and fainted. When she finally comes around she'll be reluctant to tell anyone for fear of being thought of as a looney. Anyways Ogopogo was shopping for something a bit meatier so she moved on. The others had to be warned of her presence but who would believe JJ anyway?

Brian has been heroically surfing the internet for some clue as to what the impending disaster requiring his super-hero abilities might be. "Those other silly fish are just wasting time and energy with no plan."

After getting distracted for a few hours in WC, critiquing and admiring the recent gallery paintings, he eventually found what he was looking for .......... post #2 in this very thread. "Pure genius", he thought, proudly congratulating himself for remembering the computer skills he picked up in
Super-Hero School. The next step would be a Google search for "Lessdar" where he found three results: this thread, an erotic book, and ......... a Russian connection. Mysterious Russian Connection link (http://dmania.org/comment/reply/92)

"This is going to be difficult." he muttered to himself. "Calls for an underground operator and that's hard when you're a fish. Besides, I'll need a translator. My Russian's a bit rusty. The book will have to wait."

Can Brian combat the evil forces at Lessdar without help? Will he be distracted again by his WC habit? Will he remember that he too has met the monster Ogopogo? Will he believe JJ? Will he remember JJ? Will he remember what his mission is?

mr sandbanx
11-21-2004, 12:45 AM
Meanwhile, Chris the Seahorse stopped at an Internet cafe for a rest, ordered a decaf double choco frappe latte and plugged in his laptop. Hope this dose of chocolate wakes me up he thought cos this crummy decaf is NOT DOING IT!

He logged into the Wetter than WetCanvas website and checked in on the others.... hmm he thought: Brian needs someone who speaks Russian???:

I'm scrolling fast across the page
Cos Jackie neglected to pause,
I'll open another porthole here..
and email letter to Santa Claus.

he sipped at the chocolate laced drink and pondered ...

Hmmmm. Brian has done some research
discovered some Russian intrigue
If I don't get a real coffee soon
I'll pass out from fatique.

Now NES, he's speaking Russian!
Why does that name come to mind?
Perhaps therin is a timely clue.
A clue thats right there to find.

Ogopogo has entered the scene
and muddled an already mess!
Kevin is going to Scotland he said!
The answer must be in LOCH NESS!


That's the place where fishies must go
the place where the saga concludes
will be a dangerous journey I know
I must give the others this news!

and with that he slammed shut the laptop and headed off to the telegraph office.... but not before reaching into a huge bag filled to overflowing with nickels, and paying for his coffee.

Brian Barnes
11-21-2004, 02:44 AM
Brian couldn't sleep. Too many questions.......... too many clues .......... Besides, his Super-Hero suit was getting itchy. He had put it on prematurely to make a good impression upstairs when calling in the favour. That was several hours ago.

So he peeled off the scaly tights and stuffed them in his fanny pack for later. Then, booting up his computer, he checked his email and then went straight back into the short-cut he had cleverly saved on his desktop. He was reminded how he had excelled in computer skills in Super-Hero School and mused at the thought of facing down the KGB.

Something about the Russian link kept calling him back. There was a bit of English on the right hand side of that web-page hidden amongst all the Russian text. Maybe just enough for a clue. There was mention of Roleplay ... Dragon Lands .... Gnomes Golden Mine .......Blade of Chaos. "What could they all mean?" he cried out to himself. "Wait .......... There is someone......... someone nutty enough to put it all together and yet have it make sense. He'll no doubt put it in some crazy poetic form .......... but what can you expect from a seahorse? Why should I waste my time doing it?

mr sandbanx
11-21-2004, 12:40 PM
... someone nutty enough to put it all together ....

Scuse me!
You wear scaly tights and the stallion of the sea is nutty?????

I am not doing this unless I can have a caffeine fix...


11-21-2004, 02:40 PM
Here you go , some of TIM HORTONS caffeine
and a wee donut for a sugar fix too.
but don't blame me if after you eat it
you are too
wired to tie your shoe. ( thats if sea horses actually wore them )

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/21-Nov-2004/28847-Copy_of_110_1093.JPG NOW get busy

11-21-2004, 02:43 PM
Meanwhile back at the reef the rest of the Motley Crew had finally managed to gather together.

Char arrived with a very quiet JJ in tow.(now there's a turn up for the books!)
Lyn was still trying to sober Hopeful up
JLyn had recovered from having Maltimus in her stomach and they were now sharing a nice plate of plankton
Jaytee was sat amongst her crab shells looking confused (nothing new there then :evil: )
Alan was riding around in circles on his unicycle - followed by a totally enamoured Europa doing her best to keep up yet still retaining her immense cuteness.
Rod and Doug were reminiscing about the good old days - when the seas were less crowded and fish had time to sit and chat instead of the mayhem that now ensued.
Kate and Gubby were STILL kissing!! (don't they realise there is a time and place - honestly!!!)
Lulu and Amazeon Fish were playing ball.
While Uschi and Johnnie - errrrrr well maybe we will leave that for another time (ahem!!!)

This gathering was suddenly interrupted by the arrival of Brian (with the MASSIVE FINS!) clutching what looked like a laptop - which rather flummoxed the crew as they had never met a fish with a lap.

Europa (the cute one) stopped following Alan around and swam over to Brian (yes we know she got a bit miffed with him in Book One but hey - everyone deserves a second chance. :wink2: )

'So Brian - what have you got there? - asked Europa.

'I have some news ' said Brian - ' errrrrrrr have you got something in your eye Europa'
Europa stopped winking!!!
'Gather round while I tell you what is happening'

Just then Jana the harpie fish appeared playing her melodic music as a bright light appeared above them and there was Jackie the Angel Fish.

'Has anyone seen Chris?' she said in her sing-song voice ' he gave me the slip'

'I've seen him' said Brian ' he was supposed to meet me here'

As Jackie was about to reply they heard the sound of Christmas Carols being sung in a slight off key way ' That sounds like him now'

Chris appeared complete with Santa hat - singing as only he could :music: Deckkkkkk the halls with boughs of hollyyyyyy - tra la la laaaaaaaaaaa - oops :music:

Seeing Jackie he quickly shut up and smiling sheepishly said - 'Errrrrrrr I was just on my way to errrrrrrrr' 'Oh Shut UP!!' said Jackie - which everyone thought was not really a nice way for an angel to act ' I am sick of your games and your tricks'

'Well actually' said Brian ' He has been helping me'

Jackie glared at Brian 'Oh really - and how is that then'

'Well' replied Brian ' we have found out that Kev has now moved to Loch Ness in Scotland on his mission to defeat the Lessdar threat - the Russians are involved and Chris and I have been working on decoding the encrypted codes being passed amongst the Lessdar lot'

'Yeah that's right' said Chris - sweeping past Jackie and pulling his tongue out at her ' it seems that the centre of the operations is based underneath the village of Drumnadrochit on the shores of Loch Ness - we need to get there as fast as we can'

The Motley Crew looked aghast - ' Loch Ness ' they chorused ' Errrrrr isnt there a vicious monster in there'

'Thats just a myth ' came a booming voice from behind the reef - looking round the crew were stunned as Ogopogo appeared - munching on some seaweed.

'Aaaaaaaargh' screamed JJ and fainted again - along with Doug ( have always wondered about him!!)

'How do you know so much' enquired Europa (who was scared but didnt want to show it as it lessened her cuteness factor).

'Because Nessie is my cousin and she wouldnt hurt anyone - like me she is vegetarian but people see us and think we are going to eat them when all we really want is to make friends' Everyone was mortified to see a large tear roll down Ogopogo's face.

Moving tentatively towards him CharM rubbed his cheek with her fin and soon everyone was gathered around him giving him fishie hugs - well apart from JJ and Doug who were still flat out - and of course Hopeful who was in a drunken stupor snoring her head off.

'Oh thank you - sniff sniff ' said Ogopogo ' as much as I am enjoying this bonding session we all need to get to Loch Ness as soon as possible in order to save the undersea world from Lessdar'

'But how will we get there dearie ' enquired Lyn - still pedalling for all she was worth.

'Don't worry - I know an underground system that runs under the oceans and seas and will take us there but we have a long journey ahead of us so we need to set off now'

So our Motley Crew gathered their things together and set off for Loch Ness - Ogopogo was able to carry some of them on his back - Uschi got a lift off Johnnie - Hopeful was unceremoniously dumped back into the saddlebag of Lyn's bike - Europa hitched a lift with Alan on his unicycle while JJ and Char hijacked Pam the Golfish and her golf cart as she was on her way to the fourth tee on the Sea World Golf Course.

As for Chris and Jackie - well they just faded into the upper stratosphere in a medley of harp music provided by Jana.

So reader we find our Motley Crew on what may be the final leg of their journey.

Will they make it safely?
Is Ogopogo all that he seems?
Has Kev found anything out in Scotland?
Will Brian and Chris be able to decipher the rest of the Russian code?
Will Hopeful ever sober up?
Will Jaytee be able to keep her fins off Brians laptop to get her fix of Seabay?
Will Kate and Gubby EVER stop kissing?

These questions and more will be answered as we continue our never ending saga 'Fishy Tale Book Two'


mr sandbanx
11-21-2004, 04:35 PM
"Off key my a*** he thought to himself, if she was not so cute ..... "murmured Chris the Seahorse... "ok lets focus and see if we can't figure this out."

hmmm. He Googled up a few key words with no luck and then tried' Top Secret Russian Missions involving Loch Ness" and got two hits!

"Operation Lochski Nesski"
and this
"Operation Mackerel Sky"

Working fast now, while Jackie mopped the sweat from his brow. ("I do wish she would stand over there " he thought to himself... "she is such a hurricane magnet, and that would mess up my mane for certain")

While he downloaded the secret document he sipped at the coffee and nibbled the donut (Oats n' hay sugar glazed, his favourite... boy oh boy that Nacre is a Pearl, must remember to thank her...), he hummed:

"On the shores of Loch Ness is a village
the quaint little town Drumnadrochit
What were they thinking when they thought of that?
I can't hardly say, let alone spell it!"

Suddenly his computer made a noise, a binglike "bing" if you will. He leaned into the screen and began to read:

Memo from the Chairman (Code name Octopus):

Comrades we facink two serious problemski:
First we hafink no monster of our own since loss of Stalin.
Second , most important is no great poets anymore.. all gone kapoot.
Russian people want own monster and they be wanting poets also.

So we formulatink plan with great subterfuge like so:
We understanding great world class poet heading to Scotland
(you know place with golfink, haggis, Comrade Burns)
And meanwhile they being haffink monster there also.

This poet we be talking about, he be trained
by one of worlds greatest poets. The Boris Spasky of poetry!
Such poet would make my grandmother weep. Maestro!
Ok maybe exaggerate but he is pretty good.

So I am thinking... what say we sneakink in there
and under cover of darkness. We steal them. Yes both.
Monster and poet. We brainwash... they work for us.
Tourists likink crazy, and poetry likink music by Shostakovich!

Keep people happy thats what I being sayink long time.
Increase production, more dancink. Vodka stock goink up up up!
makink new submarine and black dress for my darlink wife Luga.
Most important we ge back in charge, no foolink.

We have summer dacha in pine forest,
big black car belching diesel fumes all over place.
Ballet, opera, holidays at Black Sea resort.

If we don't be makink them happy the people,
The populace will riot, with much brouhaghah!
So we must be takink Nessie and Kevin.
two birds with one stone... bwahahahahahaah!!

Hey this looks reasonably serious thought the brave stallion, I better act fast, right as soon as I sip this coffee. Quickly he dashed off an email to Brian:

get your tights back on buddy... its up to you, your trusty sidekick OgoPoggo and that disfunctional band of fish now:

Seems Russians are plotting to gather
Ol' Nessie, catch her in very strong netski
and take her to top secret location
and put her to sleep and Disectski!

And while they are at it they also
have a sinister plan so sublime:
to take away poetfish Kevin
to write poems that don't even Rhyme!!

Brian Barnes
11-21-2004, 11:02 PM
"Well judging by the email form the seahorse, his Russian is better than mine but still barely readable." thought Brian. Luckily in Super-Hero School he had paid attention when they were teaching Russian words ending in -ski. Otherwise he'd have been lost. With regards to the text in the Russian link, he copied and pasted into babelfish.altavista.com (http://babelfish.altavista.com/) and got an immediate translation into English (trick he learned from his 5 year old daughter).

Having read the translation, he felt no further ahead. All gibberish. The whole thing appeared to be a coded conversation about characters and strategies in a roleplaying game similar to Dungeons and Dragons. "Well! Huhhh! They're not fooling me!" he thought. "This is obviously a plot about to be hatched in Loch Ness just as the seahorse says ........ and I plan to get to the bottom of it!.......... and ........it calls for action by a Super-Hero such as myself ...... since Mighty Mouse is getting on in years." he mused, puffing out his glistening chest. "Besides, Mighty Mouse, Batman, and Superman are all computer illiterate since they all predate computers....... unlike myself." he gloated. "One has to have computer literacy to get any kind of decent job these days ....... and a fair knowledge of a second language."

Ogopogo and the motley crew forged ahead toward Scotland .... with Brian seated forward on the back of Ogopogo's long slippery neck, waving his fin as if leading a cavalry charge.

JJ was heard commenting "Who put him in charge???"

11-21-2004, 11:10 PM
But being totally confused by the whole story, just grabbed Pam and Char and held on tight as the golf cart careered crazily after them.....

And blew a kiss to Rich for straightening up the page.. ;)

11-22-2004, 08:15 PM
Now JayT was not as confused as she sometimes looked........and sometimes she was even thinking.......... and this was one such situation.........for at the bottom of the russian secret document....[OK so she'd peeked over Brians shoulder]......... were some Verrrrrrrrrry interesting words

-Разрешенные теги HTML: <a> <b> <dd> <dl> <dt> <i> <li> <ol> <u> <ul> <img> <table> <td> <tr> <br>
-You may use Wiki Formatting
-Информация по опциям форматирования


surely there was a clue here as to just HOW the Russians were hoping to kidnap Nessie and Kev............ if only she could interpret that clue..........before they got to Loch Ness...........

mr sandbanx
11-22-2004, 08:32 PM
Meanwhile, wherever he was, the seahorse's little ears perked up. "it's JayTee, thinking out loud again... and he listened, his cute little seahorse brow furrowed, his oat n' hay donut getting stale on the table beside him..."

My oh My I shoulda been a spy
this is way too easy
WIKI is a mixed up word
Unscrambled, it spells: KIWI!!!

Those shifty eyes, always stealthy, appearing at the oddest times, usually when the rest of the world is fast asleep, lurking, waiting, painting grapes out of season....

Hmmmm.... he thought.. and what is a New Zealander doing working for the Russians? And she coaches that Sandbanx character... and Sandbanx is up against our brave poet Kevin in that challenge thing..... and if Kevin disappeared, well then that Sandbanx would rule the seas......(editors note: bwahahahahaha)

Hmmmm.... he thought..

Amazeon fish where are you?
Seems to me you got some some splainin' to do?

He sat down to think, and fell asleep from lack of coffee.

11-23-2004, 06:09 AM
CharM, looking perfectly purple, cleared her throat... ahem....

Looking very official, she said, "According to the AP today... Marine scientists say they have discovered 178 new species of fish and hundreds more new species of plants and other animals in the past year, raising the number of life-forms found in the world's oceans to about 230,000."

scientists believe they will find that the oceans extending across 70 percent of the earth's surface hold 20,000 species of fish and up to 1.98 million species of animals and plants, many of them small, basic life-forms like worms and jellyfish."

"Just thought you'd want to know..." "Film at 11:00" "Now a word from our sponsor..."

11-23-2004, 01:26 PM
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/23-Nov-2004/28847-1.gif The very name 'perks' one up and sooths the shattered nerves

Hi Ho Hi Ho and off to sea we go
with fishes galore and weird things and more
no matter where ye be ,on or under the sea
there is always a TIM HORTON'S for sea horses ,who ,
from lack of caffeine
are snurfin' an snortin' .
There are timbits too
and even a place to go to the loo.
SO come one an all for a sip and a bite
to refresh and relax to go on with the tale another wee mite.

Brian Barnes
11-23-2004, 05:57 PM
"Ha!" retorted Brian as he reclined in the first class section on the back of Ogopogo's neck. "178 new species of fish? All they had to do was check out the WC forums to figure that one out."

mr sandbanx
11-27-2004, 10:02 PM
178 new species you say?

does that include the ever popular
and always effervescent,
coffee induced, caffeine infused,
often obtuse, Wetcanvas bottom feeders,
and rock dwellers?

11-27-2004, 10:09 PM
ANd they all lost their way........

Where is everybody??????

whats happin' ?????

12-05-2004, 04:26 PM
"There he goes......... silly seahorse...... talking in his sleep again," said jaytee " by my fantastic seabay underwater timepiece he's now been asleep for a whole week.............its inexcusable......."

the crowd representing just a small sample of the available 301276598725 existing species before they discovered another 178 nodded sagely and finned their chins. ......... those with more than one chin finned harder than the others...........

'Do you think we should wake him up? ' asked the passionate purple one......

' 'well you should know,' 'said someone (who shall be nameless) grumpily from the back row.......... ''you sent him to sleep in the first placewith all those d****d statistics........"

''No, not me.. ....but lack of cof................'' began the purple one ........ but tailed off mid sentence as there was a swishing and a wailing and a moaning and a burbling........ getting louder and louder and closer and closer until....................

mr sandbanx
12-05-2004, 11:27 PM

The seahorse yawned a mighty yawn
and shook his groggy head
and what he saw far down below
it filled his heart with dread.


His legs they turned all rubber like
like partly melted toffee
I must go down and warn that lot.
But first.... lets have some coffee.

And when the pot had boiled
and he sipped the steaming brew
He peered into the sea below
he pondered what to do.

12-06-2004, 10:22 AM
As they watched, the seahorse wiggled
And he wobbled and he shook
Then he reached out for a coffee
And he opened up his book

And the fishes were so mad with him
They lost all self control
They shouted and they hollered
Until - while on a roll-

One thoughtlessley reached out a fin
And slapped him in the face :eek:
How could a cup of coffee
End in such disgrace?

But the seahorse, he just shimmered
Then he shook and fell apart
For the mighty horse in heaven was -
By reflections theyd been caught !

And so no harm at all was done
Mighty seahorse he still reigned
Over his errant subjects
(well that HAD to be explained :o :wink2: :D )

They hoped he had not noticed
The fuss that they had made
And soon would come and rescue them
From the danger where'er it laid

mr sandbanx
12-06-2004, 01:18 PM
Another slap this week won't hurt
Perhaps will wake me up.
I'll be right there to check you out
but first..... another cup.

12-06-2004, 02:15 PM

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/06-Dec-2004/28847-img3000b.jpeg Poor lil' sea horse what a bummer being slapped around ...... So compliments of Timmie H. Hope these oat and hay goodies and extra caffeine coffee will cheer you up.

12-06-2004, 06:57 PM
:angel: Angelfish, :angel: Angelfish , go help the seahorse out
Tell him ,this time , not to throw his coffee about
He will need the caffeen, to help out his mates
Send him to rescue them before its grows too late.

Oh........................ :eek:

05-05-2005, 10:55 PM

So what happened to them on their long journey?

Well the danger that Chris noticed below him was in fact a large group of box jelly fish moving along towards our motley crew. Any contact with their tentacles would cause great pain or even death to any unsuspecting underwater creature that happened to get caught in the middle.

Luckily J Tee noticed them and was able to get Ogopogo to execute a steep upward climb and literally bounce across the top of them (ok ok - I know - Finding Nemo again. :D ) Of course this caused some slight mayhem amongst the travellers on her back who just managed to hang on by the skin of their fins.

They travelled onwards for a number of days then rested near a large sea ravine - it was while they were eating supper that they saw the iridescent light and music was heard and singing.

:music: We wish you a Merry Christmas - we wish you a Merry Christmas - ...... :music:

Suddenly Chris appeared closely followed by Jana the harpie fish.


'Oh my gawsh' said Brian - ' it's Christmas and we never noticed.'

With that the motley crew suddenly brightened up - everyone started to talk at once - food and drink miraculously appeared (no one noticed Jackie the Angel fish making this happen) - and the party started.

In fact the party carried on for a whole week - fun and games were had by all - Europe (the cute one) managed to find some mistletoe (don't ask!) and proceeded to chase Brian and Alan around trying to get a kiss. :evil: :wink2:

Hopeful spent the week between drinking and sleeping (nothing new there then) - while Doug actually managed to smile a couple of times.

Chris was in his element as he now had a legitimate reason to sing his Christmas carols.

Even Pam managed to get some golfing in along with Maltimus who delighted in flexing his fins for his admiring fans.

But I digress - they soon packed up and resumed their long journey to Scotland and so we find ourselves on the edge of Loch Ness.

Will Nessie make an appearance?
Will Kev have any news?
More importantly will Kev be wearing a kilt?
Had J Tee worked out the secret Russian message?

Stay tuned as we resume FISHY TALE BOOK TWO!!!

mr sandbanx
05-06-2005, 12:02 AM
Ok everyone, join in... (you know the tune)

We're.... beginning to look a lot like fishsticks!
Everywhere we go!
And the prettiest sight to see,
is right here in the deep blue sea!
It's the tidal flow!

We're.... beginning to look a lot like fishsticks!
So while our Pat narrates,
We'll put the coffee on,
while I supress a yawn.
We're invertebrates!


05-06-2005, 12:11 AM
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/06-May-2005/22284-coffee_perk.gif http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/06-May-2005/22284-fish079.gif

05-06-2005, 04:45 PM
Settling themselves down on a large flat rock that heralded the start of Loch Ness - our motley crew looked nervously at the dark gloom in front of them.

'Errrrrrrr - it's a bit dark in there isn't it' said JJ nervously.

The others nodded in agreement - each one trying not to get too close.

'Oh pffffffft' said J Tee - 'I have never heard such piffle in my life - let me remind you of the wise words of that great poet fish 'Pike Milligan'

Things that go bump in the night
Shouldnt give you a terrible fright
It's the hole in each ear
That lets in the fear
That and the absence of light

'Excuse me' said Doug ' but I think you will find that

a) - it isnt night and that place is still pitch black
b) - it's as silent as a tomb'

'There's always one' muttered Lyn - rolling her eyes.

'It was meant to be metaphorical Doug' said J Tee (desperately trying to hold onto her smile) - what I am saying is that just because it's dark doesnt mean there is anything nasty in there and anyway..............'

The rest of her sentence was cut off by the sound of a mournful wail that permeated the gloom and cut right through to the bone. The noise was so loud that it even sobered Hopeful up and she poked her head out of the saddlebag - her eyes as big as saucers.

'W W W What was t t t that?' she said quietly.

The crew were disturbed by a whirring sound behind them - turning round they saw Pam (the golfish) speeding along with Maltimus hanging on for dear life. As they passed Pam shouted ' Worry not my friends - we will investigate'

Brian grabbed the handrail on the golf cart in his MASSIVE fins 'Wait for me' he said (after all he was a super hero).

The motley crew looked on in shock as the threesome disappeared into the gloom - the last they heard was Pam shouting 'Fore e eeeeeeeeee'

A sense of despair settled on our intrepid travellers as they each contemplated what lay ahead for them.

Will Pam - Maltimus and Brian ever return?
Will Brian manage to climb into the golf cart?
How long will Hopeful stay sober this time?
Why didn't Ogopogo volunteer to check out the noise?
Is anyone else going to add to this tale?

Watch out for more adventures (and hopefully some graphics) soon.


05-07-2005, 10:51 AM
So... CharM who was looking perfectly purple http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/07-May-2005/20514-CharM.gif happened to be passing by and thought she'd see what all the fuss was about...

That was a whale of a wail, she commented glibly... let's follow that cart!

Everyone else huddled into a little school, not wanting to admit they were fraidy-catfish...

And besides... the inky blackness seemed to be spreading... they would soon be enveloped in it anyway...

Chris, ever cheerfully singing Christmas ditties, spotted some electric eels... Hey, let's ask them to light the way for us, he suggested...

Hopeful had gone back to sleep in the saddlebag... but Lyn and Doug thought it was a great idea...

Pat, the cute fish, said she'd approach them... her dazzling beauty would keep her safe from harm anyway...

JJ looked over at CharM and said she was glad to see that the charming one was still beautifully good and kind... CharM smiled sweetly and nodded... keeping one fin very close to her bait bag...

Pat returned from visiting the eels and told the group that they'd light the way... so... off into the gloom swam the troupe... with CharM following a ways behind... still smiling sweetly and protecting whatever was in her bag...

What's in store for the little school of motley chums?
Will those eels charge the way?
Where did Pam, Brian and Maltimus get to?
Will that incessant wailing ever stop?
What has CharM got in that darn bag?

05-07-2005, 11:58 AM
Europa (the cute fish)


who for some spooky reason was now being called Pat - wasn't really that convinced it was a good idea for all of the crew to go into the gloom together - even if the way was being lit by electric eels .....but she didn't fancy getting smacked upside the head by that bag Char was carrying (and what was in it anyway??)

Meanwhile the others seemed quite happy to go along - safety in numbers and all that.

Up ahead Brian (with the MASSIVE FINS) had finally managed to hoist himself into the golf cart - thing were a bit of a tight squeeze which for some reason didn't seem to bother Pam. :wink2: Maltimus had taken it upon himself to do a really bad impression of a Scottish singer and was serenading Pam with gusto (this also didn't seem to bother her!!)

:music: Oh roaminggggggggg in the gloomingggggggggggggg - with a lassie by my side......... :music:

Brian said - 'Errrrrrr I think you will find it is actually 'roaming in the GLOAMING...ouch!!!' as Maltimus delivered a well aimed tail flick at Brian's MASSIVE FINS.

The wailing was getting louder and louder as they careered along and it was getting darker and darker - Brian was wondering how Pam had managed to avoid hitting anything in this gloom.

BANG!!!! CRASH!!! - oops spoke too soon. :(

Meanwhile the depths of Loch Ness didn't look as bad in the light that was emanating from the eels - even Hopeful peered out of the saddlebag and nudging Lyn (who was pedalling furiously to keep up and spitting as she went) said - 'Hey look down there - it's quite nice really isn't it'


'Puff - Puff - Gasp - shut up you lush ' panted Lyn ' I haven't got time to look at the scenery - you weigh a ton you know - maybe you should try swimming instead of hitching a lift off me ' With that Hopeful slunk back into the saddlebag and finding a bottle of vodka she had kept for emergencies opened it and set on her way to oblivion.

As for the rest of the Motley crew - Ogopogo - Johnnie - Uschi - Europa - Kate and Gubby - Jaytee - Buster - Goldie - Doug - Amazeon - JJ - CharM - Alan - Rod - JLyn - Lulu - Parsifal and Strawberry - not forgetting Jackie and Chris (who were keeping a close eye on everything.) - they travelled along in silence - not knowing the scene that was about to greet them as they rounded the next big rock face.

Are Brian - Maltimus and Jaytee still alive?
Where is Kev?
What is that wailing noise?
How are they carrying all that baggage? (unicycles - seabay stuff etc)
Where has Pearl our advert announcer gone - has she overdosed on Tim Hortons??

Keep tuned folks!!

03-17-2006, 09:06 PM


Kev is somewhere in Loch Ness undercover trying to save the world from Lessdar who are trying to turn the world grey and who are also linked with the Russians who are trying to kidnap Kev and the Loch Ness Monster (though how they will tell one from the other I have no idea....:evil: )

Meanwhile - the motley crew - consisting of

Europa (the cute one)
Katie and Dan (the kissing fish)
JJ - the forgetful fish
CharM - the purple fish
Jaytee - the Seabay fish
Doug - the grumpy FIN member
Brian - with the MASSIVE fins
Lulu - the seal with the red ball
Hopeful - the drunken fish
Lyn - the pedalling fish
Lulu - the yellow fish
Johnnie - the orca
JudyL - the floosie dolphin
Chris - the deceased seahorse - now a novice angel
Jackie - the angel fish
Ogopogo - Nessies cousin
Malitmus - the might shrimp
Pampe - the golfing fish
Rod and Alan - the iconic crabs

Oh and not forgetting Pearl - our coffee break announcer. :thumbsup:

Soooooooooooooo - having reached the depths of Loch Ness - Pam has taken Brian and Maltimus on her golf cart into the gloomy waters. Followed by the motley crew whose way is lit by some electric eels.

Hearing the wailing noise get louder and louder our Motley crew group closer and closer together until they are like a tight ball of scales - although this isnt so for Ogopogo who - because of her size - is having difficulty trying to get in amongst the group.

As they round a large rock they are met with a sight that causes a gasp from everyone.


Pam - Brian and Maltimus were sat in the golf cart laughing at the antics of what looked like a circus fish who at the time was juggling - looking around the others noticed some bagpipes lying on a nearby rock.

'Aaah so that is what the noise was' said JJ knowingly.

Moving forward Doug (who was still in a grumpy mood) said loudly - 'What is going on here and who the heck is this'

The circus fish let his balls drop at the sound of Doug's voice - Alan groaned (he was enjoying watching the juggling) - Doug flipped him with his fin.

Brian turned and said - 'This is Rip Juggler - he is a circus fish'

'A circus fish' exclaimed Alan - 'oooh thats exciting'

Doug shot him a warning glance and Alan moved out of hitting distance - meanwhile the circus fish swam over to the crew and extending a fin said ...

'Och aye the noo - it's a reel pleasure ta meetcha - are ye ok Jimmy' (apologies I cant do a scottish accent..lol)

Doug harrumphed and said - My name isnt Jimmy - its Doug.

No silly - said Pampe - thats just the way he talks - he calls everyone Jimmy.

Moving forward - CharM said - I thought you were looking for Kev - we thought something had happened to you = and now we find you here enjoying a show'

Pampe - not too happy at being told off - held her temper and smiling at CharM said sweetly - ' Well actually CharM - dear (this made Char bristle) - this fish happens to know every inch of the loch and he knows Kev.'

'Oh really - dear '- bristled CharM - 'and is he going to tell us where Kev is?'

'Och aye missus - sure I will ' replied Rip and with that he went over to one of the rocks and disappeared behind it only to return a few seconds later carrying a briefcase.

'Hmm this should be good ' said Rod as the group settled themselves down to listen to what Rip had to say.

'Yes - it should ' replied Doug - 'seeing as Kev is undercover and no one knows what he looks like' :eek:

Who is this Rip Juggler?
Where is Kev?
Will Doug mention his suspicions to the rest of the group?
Will this thread die again?

All this and more in the next instalment!! :thumbsup:

03-18-2006, 01:16 AM
Oh No!!!!!!!!!!!

Not this again:lol:

OK where am I let me think for a while, I have cotton wool for brains at the moment!!!!!

03-18-2006, 06:10 AM
What? When? Where?

Jutta, the Emerald Bait Worm, is somewhat annoyed.

03-18-2006, 10:52 AM

Aqua the angelfish wondered where all her SOLE mates had gone!:p


03-18-2006, 12:31 PM
Opening the briefcase the group were somewhat perplexed to see a worm and an angelfish appear from inside - carrying between them what looked like a large piece of parchment.

'Oh for flips sake' said Lyn ' what the doodle are we going to be privy too now'

Suddenly there was a movement behind her and she groaned as she saw Hopeful suddenly appear out of her bike bag - 'Hic!' said hopeful - 'wash going on here - Hic!


'For God's sake get back in the bag till you sober up' whispered CharM ' you are going to disrupt the meeting'

'Meeting? - what meeting? (hic!) asked Hopeful - 'anywaysh I can't go back in my bag - those two kissing fish are in there - and they are driving me nutsh (hic!) - someone give me a drink'

Jaytee reached over to her seabay collection and opening one of her nicely decorated bags pulled out a bottle which she passed over to Hopeful who taking a swig - did a back flip - hiccuped and floated down to the seabed where she began to snore as a line of bubbles emanated from her mouth.

Turning back to Rip - Jaytee, Lyn and CharM realised that the parchment was in fact a map with a large X in the middle of it - underneath which were written the words - ' DANGEROUS DEATH VALLEY'

'Well one would think that if it was called Death Valley it would be dangerous' muttered Jaytee under her breath.

'Shhhhhh' said Doug - ' let's see what he has to say'

As Rip began to talk Jutta the emerald baitte worm and Aqua the angel fish started to sway this way and that whilst pointing at the map.

'Can't someone stop them doing that' shouted Johnnie ' its giving me a headache'

'Ach sorry Jimmy' said Rip ' it's just they are used to being my assistants in my show'

Johnnie grunted and muttered something unintelligible.

'Now' said Rip ' As ye can see this is a map - it shows the whole of the loch and here ' pointing at the X ' is where we think the Russians and Lessdar have their underwater hideout '

'Who's we?' asked Doug who was still very suspicious of this Rip character'

'Aah now Jimmy - if I told you that I would have to kill you' said Rip - whose demeanour changed to being rather aggressive for a split second before returning to normal.

Alan noticed this and nudging Doug he motioned him to follow him - slipping away from the crowd they rounded a rock and Alan was just about to mention his suspicions to Doug when all of a sudden Jutta the Emerald Baitte Worm appeared.

'Are you ok gentlemen' Jutta said but before they could answer she shot out her long tongue which had a spike on the end and with lightening speed injected both Doug and Alan.

Suddenly they started to pulsate and turn green - a virulent type of moss appeared on their bodies and they found themselves slowly being pulled against the rock. Within minutes all that could be seen was two bits of moss on the rock (ooh errrr!! :eek: )


With this Jutta the Emerald Baitte Worm returned to the group not realising that Hopeful - although still in a drunken stupor had roused herself just enough to open one eye and witness the whole scene. Unfortunately - so out of it was she that she went right back to sleep.

Who are Rip - Jutta and Aqua?
Will Hopeful sober up enough to recount what she saw? (in fact will she even remember it?)
Why is Doug always the one to get captured?
How long before anyone notices that Doug and Alan are missing?

Keep tuned for more adventures.


mr sandbanx
03-18-2006, 03:19 PM
This post paid for by:

THE OLDDE BAITTE SHOPPE GmbH Group of companies Inc. FOR ALL OF YOUR BAITTE AND ANGLING NEEDS. Home of the Canadian Wiggler!


....ahem. (are we on... test, test....)

I wondered where the fishes went,
but rest, I'll say, was heavensent.
I'll post a rather sad lament,
Once I've had a coffee.

T'was sad to think they all was lost,
My rest was had at anxious cost,
But gave me time to read some 'Frost'
But first, I'll have some coffee.

But here they are all safe and sound,
who was once lost but now is found,
If not so cheap, I'd buy a round.
But first, I need some coffee.

Will clear my sleepy seahorse head,
go back to read all thats been said,
and post again in Fishy thread,
But first, I must have coffee.

:wave: :wave:

03-18-2006, 04:31 PM
OK OK quit your yelling Pat :)

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/18-Mar-2006/28847-1.gif http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/18-Mar-2006/28847-coffee.JPG

03-18-2006, 07:55 PM
After two hours Hopeful opened her eyes again and saw, what she thought was a tequila worm.http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/18-Mar-2006/32313-worm1a.gif Immediately she started after the worm, slice of lime in her fins.

Doug and Alan saw all this but were unable to move or speak, all they were able to do was blow green bubbles out of what was formerly their mouths. Aqua The Angelfish got heavely attracted to those bubbles and swam over to mossy Doug and Alan to take a closer look and before anybody would even notice a thing she started nibbling on the two.:eek:

03-19-2006, 05:43 AM
oh NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:eek:

Stunned by the trouble her SOLE mates seemed to be in Aqua the angel fish wondered why she had come to this PLAICE in the first plaice!:eek:

Trying to help she'd swum frantically towards Doug and Alan thinking that maybe the kiss of life would help.She gently placed her fishy lips next to one of them but.........:eek:

Great jumping Neptune,she turned green!!!!!!!!!!!!:eek:


All that was left of any other colour was her lips and that was only due to her new Guerlain lipstick called kiss kiss guaranteed never to fade even under water!.........thank heavens she believed everything she ever heard in an advert!:o :p

If ONLY she'd bought the matching nail polish for her fin tips!

Oh no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Is there a hero anywhere handy?

Will the antidote to the green mystery be somewhere on seabay?:eek:

Will Jaytee the magical flying fish be able to help?:eek:

Will Aqua permanently turn into a kissing fish and be doomed to kiss every fish she meets?

If she drinks something from hopefuls bottle will she turn into a fissing kish!!!!!!!!

(Cass the poffee, I reed nescuing!:lol: )

Signed off by Aqua the fissing kish!:lol:

03-19-2006, 07:06 AM
Meanwhile the motley crew were sat around discussing the revelation of the map and what their next move should be.

Lulu looked around and said ' Where are Doug and Alan?'

Europa (the cute one) swam towards the rock saying 'They swam around here some time ago - I thought they had gone doing 'fishy men' things but they seem to be taking their time'

She swam around the rock a few times but could see no sign of them - returning to the group she informed them that Doug and Alan were nowhere to be found.

'Oh great' said JJ - 'dont tell me they have gone off on their own to sort this out'

Suddenly Aqua swam over and Jaytee said ' Who might you be?' Aqua said ' It's me Aqua the Angelfish'

'But you are green' said Jaytee ' what happened to you'

Before Aqua could answer Rip grabbed her by the fin and dragging her away said ' Aach she's been nibbling at the moss again - it's an allergic reaction she gets - she will be ok in a while'

Dragging Aqua around another rock he unceremoniously threw her on the seabed - his gills became very dark and as he hovered over her he said menacingly ' What do you think you are playing at - how many times have I told you we are on a mission here - what possessed you to try and get those two fools out of that moss'

Aqua - shaking - replied in a small voice ' Errr well errr - I felt sorry for them Boss - I mean they aren't really a threat to us and errrrrr I mean that Doug was soooooo cute'

Cute!! CUTE!!! - he is the enemy - now listen to me you romantic fool you - you know what will happen to your family if you mess this up - remember I rescued you from that dive you were working in - remember it was me who gave you a job and it was me who got your family out of that hell hole they were living in and it is me who you are working for. Any more mess ups and that is it - Capice!!!

Aqua trembled and in a little voice said - ' Yes sir - it won't happen again'

With that Rip swam off and left Aqua thinking to herself - ' One day I will be free of him and so will my family' As she lay there Jutta the Emerald Baitte shop worm appeared - with a slow sardonic smile she looked at Aqua and sneeringly said - 'Sooooo you been letting that heart of yours rule your head again little Aqua - you know the Boss won't put up with it for much longer'

'Oh shut up Jutta' said Aqua - Jutta shot out her tongue and held it just millimetres from Aquas face - ' don't tell me to shut up' she snarled' or it won't be just the Boss you will have to contend with'

A few yards away - in a pile of seaweed - hopeful (who had partly sobered up by now) saw all this going on but was too far away to hear what was being said - but she had a feeling something wasn't quite right and that maybe she should tell someone.

Slowly moving away she found Lyn and tugging at her fin tried to tell her what she had seen but Lyn - thinking that Hopeful was after another bottle she pulled away with a grunt!

Will Aqua ever get away from the clutches of Rip?
Will Hopeful get to tell what she saw or will her befuddled brain make her forget?
Will the motley crew set off leaving Doug and Alan behind?
Where is Kev?
Has Chris finished drinking his coffee??

Stay tuned.


03-19-2006, 07:44 AM

shhhhhh... Aqua... Aqua... Aqua....

shhhhhhh... Follow me...

I have JJ with me, and you can hide with us... AND...

I know where a certain undercover fish is hiding out... he can help free you from the evil clutches of...

OH NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

03-19-2006, 07:48 AM
( I can't type for laughing Pat! ):lol:

Aqua reeled from her fishfrontation with Rip.He'd pointed his fish finger at her a little too scaringly this time!:(

What would happen if her cover was broken and he realised she had been planted in the dive by the FBI (Fish Baitte Investigators):eek:

And how was she going to transform Jutta the emerald bait worm back into her usual form which at the present time she couldn't remember.:confused:

Sheepishly ( which is unsuaul for a fish :p ) she thought of Rocky the Starfish and star act at the fish club who'd taken her romantically in his fins and bubbled a song in her gills...

"Salmon chanted evening".........:music:

She had thought he was a member of the FBI too but couldn't get past his scales to find out!

She'd lost the map, Jutta had been hypnotised into some evil worm,Rip was becoming more dangerous by the minute,the FBI seemed to be nowhere in sight meaning she could fail on her secret fishion!

Doug and Alan were missing.........

.......and to make it worse,her lipstick didn't match her new scale shade of green!!!!!!

Where is a hero when you need one?

What was really in hopefuls bottle......:eek:

Cod it get worse?:eek: :lol:

03-19-2006, 07:52 AM
Oops,:p Char.;)

Aqua heard a tiny voice calling her.......a purple fish was heading straight towards her,she grabbed her by the fin............another fish was nearby (JJ ) They mentioned an undercover fish....:eek:

OMG...could that be Rocky the handsome starfish?:eek: Or another undercover fish.Who knew with all the rocks to be under covering under!:lol:

Aqua nearly blew her cover and confess she was working for the FBI but just then...............:eek:

03-19-2006, 08:37 AM

03-19-2006, 08:40 AM
Jutta, the emerald baitte worm, hurried to find Rip as she just witnessed this act of kindness, a sheepish grin appeared on her emerald face :smug: .


03-19-2006, 10:45 AM
Meanwhile - back on the rock - Alan and Doug finally realised that they could communicate with each other by use of the bubbles that they blew when they breathed - by making a noise as they expelled the bubbles they made a rather primitive way of speaking but there first efforts weren't that brilliant.


Doug - 'A blobba lop - blobba lop - blobba lop'

Alan - ' Blop?' :confused:

Doug ' A blobba lop - blobba lop - blobba lop'

Alan - 'BLOP??' :confused:


Alan - 'BLOBBA LOP BLOP!!!! :mad: '

So while we leave our mossy friends to sort out their communication problems we find that CharM - having gone to help Aqua - has taken her to JJ to hide her from Rip but just as they are about to show her the safe clam shell Jutta appears - as she approaches them Lulu stands on guard ready to hit her with the magic red ball.

Aqua stops Lulu saying ' Wait - Jutta isnt a bad Emerald Baitte Shoppe worm - she has been put under a spell by Rip - but I can't remember what to do to help release her from it'

Suddenly JJ appears from one of Jaytees seabay pearlised clam shells holding in her fin some red sea kelp.

'Maybe this will help - its what I used to free Charm from the clutches of the Mad March Sea Witch in Book One - it is supposed to be a universal charm breaker - we can only try it'

Quickly CharM places some of the red kelp on a plate and as Jutta approaches she sets about chatting aimlessly about things in general with Aqua and JJ. Coming up to the group Jutta realises she has to maintain an air of friendliness so as not to expose herself and so when CharM offers her some kelp to eat she takes it with gusto.

No sooner as she eaten it that she suddenly begins to writhe uncontrollably and falls into a heap on the seabed. Aqua is distraught having known how Jutta was so kind to her before the evil Rip put a spell on her.

' Oh Jutta - speak to me - are you ok' said Aqua as she wrapped her fins around Jutta's pulsating form.

Jutta stopped writhing - gave a large gasp and sat up - she looked at Aqua blankly at first then slowly the realisation came into her eyes. As she didnt have fins or anything she wrapped her emerald green body around Aqua and crying said ' Oh Aqua - what happened to me - I know was doing nasty things and being horrible to you but I couldnt help myself - I am so sorry!'


Aqua - tears glistening in her eyes - hugged her friend saying ' Don't worry - you are back to your normal self now - things are only going to get better'

JJ interuppted the proceedings - ' Errrrrrrr am afraid that wont be possible - Jutta will have to carry on pretending to be under Rip's spell until we find out what is going on and how he is linked to this whole mess'

Jutta began to protest but Aqua silenced her by saying ' You know you can do this - remember how you played all those great film roles when we used to renact the movies - The Codfather - A Fish Called Wanda - Whalerider - you remember'

'Yes you are right' said Jutta ' I can do it - oh Aqua - thank you - you saved me' and with that she once again wrapped herself around Aqua in a big hug. CharM and JJ watched with tears in their eyes.

Ogopoglo appeared just as Aqua was telling JJ - CharM and Lulu what had happened to Doug and Alan - 'Hurry - we are moving out - we have to go quickly - time is of the essence'

'What about Doug and Alan ?' said Lulu

'We will have to come back for them when we find something to release them unless they find some way themselves - all we can do is leave a trail - I will go and tell them said Charm and with a flick of her tail she shot off.

Meanwhile back on the rock things weren't getting any better in the communication between Doug and Alan and when CharM appeared and gave them a hurried version of what had happened they tried to talk to her.


but all she saw were bubbles .

And so we see our motley crew set off into the gloom of Loch Ness.

What fate awaits our motley crew?
Will Jutta be able to maintain her charade?
Will Doug and Alan ever make themselves understood?
Where is Rip really leading them all to?

All this and more to come!!

03-21-2006, 06:05 PM
Our motley crew set off with Rip leading the way - leaving Alan and Doug stuck on a rock still furiously blowing bubbles at each other trying to communicate.

But where - you may ask yourself - was Kev during all this.

Well he was deep within the confines of the high security underwater combined headquarters of Lessdar and the Russians - posing as a colour technofish.

It was Lessdar's plan to remove the world of colour and they had spent the previous 6 months sourcing the best colour technofish in the world - whether by fair means or foul.

In one way Kev's appointment into this position was rather unusual - having gone undercover around Lessdar he had used a long forgotten spell to remove his colour but unfortunately it kept coming back at odd times. It was one of these times that he was spotted by the Lessdar Anatomically Defective Seekers or LADS for short - whose sole aim was to root out anyone who shouldn't be in Lessdar.

It was only his quick thinking that saved Kev - he told them he was a colour techofish and was trying out his new formula for removing colour permanently and had come to Lessdar to try out it out. He was dragged unceremoniously in front of the Head of Security who happened to be Russian who decided that he could be an asset to their cause.

Kev didn't know this at the time as the whole conversation was held in Russian and he thought at first he was for the chop - but was surprised and relieved when he was shown into a bunkhouse with other technofish. By this time his spell had worn off and he was back in all his colourful glory.


And so Kev carries on his mission unaware that the motley crew is on its way lead by one very unsavoury character who could be leading them into a trap.

Will Kev be able to foil the Lessdar evil plan?
Will he ever be able to decipher the Russian codes?
Are Doug and Alan's lives on the rocks??
Will Hopeful EVER sober up enough to be any use in this whole tale?

Time for a coffee break as you take it all in dear reader (and get even more confused. :confused: )

mr sandbanx
03-21-2006, 10:15 PM
While Malty was out, and I was away,
The Baitte decided to play.
They found the spare key to the sideboard,
and they darnk all the liquor today.

So a special were having at Baitte shoppe
A deal like has rarely been seen.
Baitte just a dollar a dozen.
(The downside: it's Emerald Green!)

03-22-2006, 03:36 AM
Our motley crew set off with Rip leading the way - leaving Alan and Doug stuck on a rock still furiously blowing bubbles at each other trying to communicate.

We're not trying to cummunicate! We just want outa here! It was those beans that did it and the air in here is getting kinda toxic. HELP!


07-04-2006, 12:57 PM
WELL HERE WE ARE AGAIN - THREE MONTHS LATER!! - by eck it takes a long time to get around Loch Ness - so what has been happening so far.

Well not much really - Doug and Alan are still stuck on the rocks - though it must be said their communication difficulties have been overcome and with some effort and concentration they can now form the bubbles into words.

However they do spend a lot of time arguing and blaming each other for their predicament.

Poor old Hopeful has found herself alone in Loch Ness after falling unnoticed out of Lyn's saddlebag - luckily she had earlier 'borrowed' one of Jaytees sea shells to store her extra bottles of vodka and had spent the last couple of months in a drunken stupor flopping around the loch bed.

Our motley crew have set up camp in a deep cavern not far from the alleged position of the Lessdar headquarters where they had taken it in turns to go out on 'recce' missions but to no avail....there missions being hampered by the starfish patrols around said headquarters.

Rip (the suspect fish) has been missing for a week along with Jutta and Aqua (who are still keeping up the pretence of being on his side) - having left the cavern while the others were asleep.

Ogo has also left in search of her cousin Nessie but as the Loch is soooooo vast no one is expecting her back any time soon.

The motley crew currently spend their days and nights making their own amusement whilst waiting for news - any news!

Chris the seahorse is currently out of commission as he was discovered around Christmas singing his Christmas songs and is off making a new CD - the working title of which is .....Fishy Songs For Christmas (and other times)

So unless someone comes along soon with some information - things are going to get pretty boring around here!!

PAT (who is going to finish this book if it's the last thing she does!!!!)

07-04-2006, 12:59 PM

If you are rejoining our fishy tale please take the time to read from the first page so you can familiarise yourself with the plot so far (honestly there is a plot!! :thumbsup: )

If this is your first time reading the fishy tale then I suggest you read Book One (link on first page of this thread) to familiarise yourself with the characters and May God Help You!!

Pat :lol:

mr sandbanx
07-04-2006, 03:38 PM
[B]Chris the seahorse is currently out of commission as he was discovered around Christmas singing his Christmas songs and is off making a new CD - the working title of which is .....Fishy Songs For Christmas (and other times)

Which includes such old time favourites as ‘I’ll be Home for Christmas, iiiiif you Reel Me In….’, “ I’m dreaming of a White Haddock”,
“All I Wan’t for Christmas is Some New Fresh Baitte” and of course the classic: "It's Beginning to Feel a Lot Like Fish Sticks"

And will be available of course, on the CONCOURSE level of the OBS nearest you (for a tidy sum) this autumn!

07-04-2006, 04:00 PM
B Side:

I'd Like To Teach The World To Swim
I'm Leavin' - on a Jetski,
The First Time Ever I Saw Your Plaice,
Swim on by, just swim on by..
Yellow Submarine,
(Up The) lazy River,
Catch A Falling Starfish,
England Swims,
Live and Let Fry,
Fishhooks Keep Falling On My Head

Doug :)

mr sandbanx
07-04-2006, 04:49 PM

07-04-2006, 05:47 PM
yum-tum de diddle diddle tum 2 ...3....4
Yum tum de diddle diddle ta ra, ta ra
Yuuuuuuuuuuuum, diddle diddle tum 2.......3.....4.......

will someone please get these starfish out of here................

Maltimuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuus !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

07-04-2006, 05:49 PM
Hopeful had been sober for three days now and was seeing things in a new light - well she would have been if it hadn't been so dark in some places in Loch Ness - unfortunately she still swam in a rather loopy fashion due to her many years of drinking.


Swimming along she began to sing to herself - :music: ..........when they askkkkkkkk who's the foollllll in the cornerrrrr - cryyyyying - dum de dum ....l'il ole wine drinking meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.....:music:

Suddenly she started to bounce around which she found rather disconcerting as she had also started to hear voices.

' Ablop a lop - it's my turn'

' Blop - no - ablop - it's not '

' Blop a lop - yesss it issss.....I spy with my little eye......'

'Ablop - am not blop listening - dum de dum....blop'

In her now sober state Hopeful realised she was being bounced around by bubbles that seemed to be emanating from some rocks below her - although she found the experience rather pleasing (whatever turns you on :evil: :p ) she swam down to investigate.


'ALAN!! DOUG!!! - what are you doing covered in moss and stuck on a rock'

'Oh great' muttered Doug (still grumbling) ' That is all we need - some sop who is neither use nor ornament to us in our predicament'

Hopeful - though slightly hurt by this remark could understand why - said cheerfully - 'Actually I am feeling great - I haven't had a drink for three days - life seems so much more ALIVE!! if you get my meaning'

'Sooooo Miss 'I'm glad to be alive' - what do you propose to do to get us out of here because believe me - we are not having a nice time'

Rod - being a much more pleasant chap said kindly 'well that is good news Hopeful - but we need to get out of here'

Hopeful looked around her and her eye was caught by some red kelp (this was due to the fact that a rather boisterous lobster had thrown it in her direction thereby hitting her in the eye).

'Ouch' she said then suddenly her eyes lit up ' Oooh hang on - red kelp - now what do I know about red kelp - why does that ring a bell with me - oooh ooh I know - am sure it has some kind of magical quality'

'Oh lord - she has lost it completely now' muttered Doug.

'Hang on a minute ' said Rod - ' I think she is right - didn't JJ use some to release CharM from that spell in Book One?'

Doug just muttered under his breath - mainly because he wasn't sure as he seemed to be having more and more 'senior' moments.

Hopeful grabbed some of the red kelp in her mouth and brought it over to the both of them and rubbing it against the rock just above them she managed to release tiny bits of it which they were able to eat with their limited chewing ability.

Suddenly the rocks started shaking and the surrounding water turned green as a rush of bubbles soared up.


Resisting the temptation to bounce around in the bubbles (am saying nuffink!! :eek: ) Hopeful waited until they cleared and there sitting on the rocks were Alan and Doug - back to their old selves.

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/04-Jul-2006/29499-rodcrab.gif http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/04-Jul-2006/29499-dougfish.gif

Woohoooooooooo - I did something right - I saved you both - oh just wait till Lyn hears about this - oooh oooh - I may get to ride pillion instead of in the saddlebag. 'Come on let's go - we have to find the others'

With that she grabbed Doug's fins and Rods claw and dragged them off the rock and into the gloom that was Loch Ness - too excited to even realise that none of them had any idea where the others were.

Will they find the rest of the Motley Crew?
Will Chris ever come back from his tour?
Are the rumours true that he bought all the copies of his own CD?
Did Maltimus manage to get rid of the starfish without drawing attention to himself?
Is Pearl going to do our advertising?
This and more as the story continues.....


07-04-2006, 05:55 PM
No one's stopped those darned starfish though............ would red kelp help ???

07-04-2006, 10:47 PM
Will they find the rest of the Motley Crew?
Will Chris ever come back from his tour?
Are the rumours true that he bought all the copies of his own CD?
Did Maltimus manage to get rid of the starfish without drawing attention to himself?
Is Pearl going to do our advertising?
This and more as the story continues.....

yep, and with a verrry bad poem :lol:


It's Timmy Time

Kelp blooms at night
and at daylight fish fries.
the coffee is hot ,so let's have some more eh !

Don' t let the starfish get in your fries
don't let the moon-fish break your cart
Timmie's coffee is fresh and to please you he tries
to keep the coffee hot, good business so smart
and in clean cups without flies

so ! let's have some more eh !

07-05-2006, 04:56 AM
Ciough - cough .. sniff- sniff .. Aaaaaaaa-chew!!!!!!!!!!

Did someone want some red kelp?????????????

07-05-2006, 04:37 PM
Down in the depths of the Lessdar HQ - Kev was working on reversing the formula that temporarily removed colour into one that would reverse the process permanently.

He heard voices coming towards the lab and immediately hid the formula and replaced it with the colour removing one - which he was supposedly improving. The door 'swished' open and in walked a large fish accompanied by another smaller fish and a green worm - behind them came the russian head of security - the large fish stopped by Kev's workstation and said in a loud voice 'Now me laddie - and what is it you would be doing here'

Trying to cover his surprise at the thick Scottish accent Kev mumbled something about proteins and neutrons. He noticed that the other fish and the green worm looked rather nervously about them. The Head of Security suddenly piped up in english - 'Ve have captured zis fish Sir and he iz 'elping us wiz our formula - he is making ze colour stay away longer'

Sooooooooooo thought Kev - he can speak English after all - hmmmm.

'Welll laddie - show us what you've got och aye'

And so moving over to a large tank that held two very scared looking fish he dropped some of the formula into the water - the fish started to tremble and their colour suddenly disappeared - and just as quickly came back again.


'Of course we haven't quite mastered the full technique yet' said Kev - although we have discovered that the time varies with different fish'

'Aye laddie - I can see that' said the large fish and leaning menacingly close to Kev he said ' you had better work harder - we need this formula pdq - capiche'

Resisting the impulse to smack the large fish around the gills - Kev replied ' Yes sir' - as the group turned to leave - the green worm shoved a piece of paper into one of Kev's gills (which he found rather uncomfortable) - once the door shut behind them and Kev retrieved the paper which read ' Meet me at 17.00 hours near the back entrance - A friend'

Kev was to say the least intrigued - maybe this was the breakthrough he had been waiting for.

What was the information that Jutta had for Kev?
Had Doug - Alan and Hopeful found the others yet?
When will Lyn realise Hopeful isn't around?
Why is JJ coughing up red kelp and will it help Jaytee get rid of the starfish?

The answers to this and more in our next instalment!!


07-05-2006, 07:50 PM
cough-cough-cough-cough.................moooooooooooooan......... ;)

07-06-2006, 06:41 PM
Back in the cavern - the rest of the motley crew were getting very concerned about JJ's constant coughing - mainly because it was getting very annoying.

'Will someone give that fish a cough drop for Cod's sake' said Lyn who was trying to fix the short on her scooter - ' Now Now little lady ' said Johnnie ' let's just keep calm and try and sort the problem out'

Lulu swam up to JJ and going behind her she flipped the magical red ball and fired it at great speed against JJ's dorsal - suddenly something shot out of JJ's mouth and hit Char (who was on the helping JT sort out her seabay purchases) ' Ouch' exclaimed Char - and looking down she saw something glinting in the sea bed.

'Oh JJ - you have been eating those oyster stopper sweets again - you know they are too big for a little fish like you' JJ blushed - which gave her a flattering look it must be said - 'Am sorry - I just can't resist them'

'Well at least you stopped the coughing ' muttered Lyn - 'now where did I put those testing pliers - Hopeful!! Hopeful!! - wake up and pass me my pliers out of the saddlebag'

When she didn't get an answer Lyn wrenched open the saddlebag - 'Why do I have to be lumbered with an old drunken.......' - Lyn stopped in mid sentence and looked at the empty saddlebag. 'Has anyone seen Hopeful' she said ' No - are you sure she isn't in there'

Everyone crowded round the scooter ' Are you sure she was in here ' asked JLyn - Lyn gave her such a look that she edged backwards to the outside of the crowd. 'Of course she was in here - she is always in here - she is never anywhere else' said Lyn.

Suddenly they heard an awful commotion outside of the cavern - 'What is that' said JJ fearfully - looking wide eyed at the opening. 'Don't worry little lady - I will go and check it out ' said Johnnie - and before they could stop him he swam towards the entrance.

What is happening outside the cavern?
Will Johnnie survive the encounter with whatever it is out there?
Will Lyn ever get her scooter working?
Will JJ stop eating oyster stoppers?
Has anyone noticed the deliberate mistake in this story????

Tune in soon - time for a COFFEE BREAK!!! (psssst Pearl - you're on)

07-06-2006, 08:07 PM
OK Folks , time for a wee bit of a break .... Now ! if one ever needs to be alert ( for whatever silly reason) Timmie's is the answer.

You can drink it inside
or take it out for a walk
even take it in your car for a ride
or drink whilst on cell phone
while you walk and you talk. ( it is a very versatile source of caffeine eh !)
you can have it in a mug
or in a paper cup
either way
is a good way your hot
caffeine to sup. :D


Now ( when everyone is alert)...Back to this enthralling tale of mystery and intrigue .

07-06-2006, 08:14 PM
Would you believe I have just made myself a guenine Timmies toffee capachino from the Timmies coffee grounds I brought home from Canada..;) Yuuuuuuuuuuu-um!!!!!!!!!!!


What mistake??

07-07-2006, 08:17 PM
As Johnnie reached the opening to the cavern he was amazed to see the scene before him (especially considering the murkiness of the water) - luckily for him some electric eels were involved so there were flashes of light followed by various noises ' Ouch!' ' Ugh' 'Ooomph'.

All around there were bodies intermingling - Uschi appeared at the side of him and looking nervously out said ' Errrrrrrrr isn't that Hopeful in the middle of all that' ' I think you are right missy' said Johnny ' and if I am not mistaken so are Doug and Alan.

Our three friends were busy fighting with the starfish that had been patrolling the entrance to the cavern - and a fine job they were doing too - Hopeful and Doug were sideswiping starfish at the eels who were flicking them with an electric shock smack bang onto the large rocks that littered the loch bed.

'Take that you five fingered squashy thing you' shouted Hopeful as she swiped another starfish - Alan joined in by pinching them as they flew past. Soon all that was left were the broken bodies of starfish lying in a heap - even Doug was seeming quite pleased with himself.

'Oooh Uschi - Johnnie - woohoo ' shouted Hopeful as she wobbled her way towards them - 'We found you - oh have so much to tell you - where is everyone else' 'Follow me' said Johnnie 'slightly bemused at the sight he had just witnessed.

The rest of the Motley Crew were deep in the cavern when they heard Hopeful's voice echoing ' Hellooooooooooo - we're here - Helloooooooooooo'

Lyn moved away from her scooter muttering ' Oh great - now where has she been - I bet she.....' but her words were lost as Hopeful burst into the cavern and grabbed Lyn in a big fishy hug. 'Oh Lyn - I thought I had lost you - woke up - three days - no one around......' garbled Hopeful - too excited to get the words out properly.

'Get off me - you nutter' said Lyn - ' What are you talking about - have you been drinking that scotch water again'

'That's the thing Lyn ' smiled Hopeful ' I don't drink - am sober - oh wait till I tell you of my adventures. With that the motley crew gathered around as Hopeful - with help from Alan and Doug - regaled her audience with her big adventure....although it must be said that some of the crew were slightly perturbed at the intermittent ' Lob a dops' thrown in when Alan or Doug spoke. At the end of it all everyone clapped (as only sea creatures can) and started to talk at once.

During the celebration no one noticed a dark shadow appearing along the wall of the cavern from the entrance - a shadow that slowly got bigger and bigger.

What is the creature causing the shadow?
Are our motley crew in more danger than they know?
Will Hopeful ever get chance to ride pillion?
Will Doug and Alan ever cease their 'bubble' talk and return to normality?

Stay tuned for more fishy tales!!!

07-09-2006, 07:41 PM
Strawberry Betta - Parsifal - Jaytee and Amazeon Worman were sat on the outskirts of the group trying to listen to the story Hopeful was telling - unable to hear much Jaytee asked them if they wanted to see her collection of rare conch shells she had bought on sea-bay.

Never ones to miss a bargain the three fish followed Jaytee to the side of the cavern where she kept her shell encrusted storage cases. It was while they were oohing and aahing over the beautiful conch shells that Parsifal noticed it starting to get darker - looking up she grabbed hold of Jaytee making her drop one of the conch shells onto Strawberry's head


'Ouch!' said Strawberry and was just about to remonstrate with Jaytee when she noticed them all looking upwards towards the cavern entrance. Amazeon Worman did the first thing that came into her head and grabbing the conch shell she blew it - ' Aaaaaaaaah hooooooooooo'

The rest of the motley crew stopped what they were doing and turned around to see what the noise was about - well all except Hopeful who was still chattering away nineteen to the dozen oblivious to anything else.

The dark shadow grew bigger and bigger - the crew by now were grouped together transfixed by what was in front of them - suddenly a large head popped around a rock - ' Hello - it's me - am back ' - and there appeared Ogopogo.


'You flaming big lump of .....' said Doug just as JJ slapped a fin across his mouth.

'Gosh you gave us a fright' said Strawberry - still rubbing her head.

'Oh I am soooooo sorry' said Ogopogo - ' but I have brought someone to see you' and with that turned around and gave out a long low whistle.

Once again a large shadow appeared on the wall - as the crew started to move backwards - Ogopogo laughed ' Don't be afraid - it is only my cousin Nessie' and with that Nessie's head popped around the rock ' Och aye the noo - how are youuu' said Nessie.

With two giants in the cavern things were getting a bit squashed so JJ suggested they all move outside - now that the starfish were gone it was safer. All of them moved towards the cavern opening - all that is except Hopeful who still hadn't noticed that no one was listening to her - too excited about regaling her adventures. Lyn unceremoniously grabbed her fin and dragged her outside.

Sitting (well as much as a fish can sit) in a circle around Ogopogo and Nessie the motley crew listened intently as Ogopogo told them what they had discovered with regard to Lessdar.

What news do our two friendly 'monsters' have for our motley crew?
Will the lump on Strawberry's head ever go down?
Will Hopeful be able to resist the temptation to drink again?
What has happened to Kev's meeting with Jutta at the back entrance?
Is this tale every going to be finished?
Does anybody care?

Tune in for more adventures soon.


07-09-2006, 11:43 PM
Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo................this is getting really exciting!!!!!!!!!!!! :p

07-19-2006, 06:17 PM
Kev looked around to see if the coast was clear and moved quickly along the the corridors of Lessdar HQ to the back entrance. On opening the door he found himself in an enclosed area in pitch black......'Ooh er ' he thought 'Maybe this wasn't such a good idea'

A sudden movement alerted his senses and puffing out his gills he said ' Who's there - come on stop messing about' 'Shhhhhhhhh' said Jutta, appearing at his side ' Someone will hear you'

'Errrrrrr - sorry' said Kev rather gruffly ' So what is so important'

'Well' said Jutta looking around nervously ' Myself and Aqua are pretending to be under the control of Rip Fish but we were saved by some red kelp administered by someone belonging to a group called 'The Motley Crew' - do you know them?'

'Of course I know them' said Kev - 'Where did you see them?'

'There are camped out on the edge of Loch Ness waiting for an opportunity to rescue you' 'Rescue me?? - I don't need rescueing = i am on a mission for FINS - they could ruin everything if they come barging in here - you have to go back and tell them to stay calm - I am getting close to the leader of this whole sorry mess'


'The Leader! ' said Jutta - 'You have already met him! - he is Rip fish!!'

'What!! that scottish talking clown type fish - he is the top fish - he is the one behind all of this - you gotta be kidding me' and Kev let out a sarcastic laugh (surprising we know as Kev is not known for his sarcasm!! :eek: )

'Oh aye - she is right laddie' said a voice behind them

Jutta's eyes nearly popped out of her head as Rip fish appeared out of the gloom accompanied by Aqua and two very mean looking electric eels.

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/19-Jul-2006/29499-jutta.gif http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/19-Jul-2006/29499-Circusfish.gif

Rip swam over to Jutta and leaning close into her he said ' Now why would you betray me after all I have done for you little Jutta' - Jutta whimpered and looked over at Aqua who gave her a warning look.

Turning to the eels - Rip said 'Take them away - I will deal with them later'

And with that Jutta and Kev were unceremoniously grabbed and dragged off back into Lessdar HQ.

Turning to Aqua - Rip stroked her with his fin saying ' Thank you Aqua for letting me know about Jutta's betrayal - at least I have one faithful fish beside me' Aqua flicked her tail and followed Rip back through the door.

Is this the end for Kev and Jutta?
Could Aqua really have become a bad fish?
Have our Motley Crew found out what Nessie had to say yet?
Does Rip never get tired of juggling his balls?
Will my brain hold out to finish this saga?

All this and more soon!!


07-20-2006, 08:28 PM
A silence had descended on the Motley Crew as they sat around listening to what Nessie had to say.

'We have been watching Lessdar for a few months now ' said Nessie ' their leader Rip fish has been travelling around from the loch trying to find more techno fish - they are having trouble getting the 'Greying' formula right. Rip has got his fish all over this loch searching for the Highland kelp that he needs to make the formula to get rid of all the colour.

What he doesn't know is that we have collected all the Highland kelp and replaced it with an inferior kelp from Wales - you would be hard put to tell the difference but he doesn't know that so for the moment we are safe.

'So what have you done with the highland kelp?' asked Strawberry (still rubbing the lump on her head)


'Oh don't worry about that' said Ogopogo ' It's in a safe place where even Rip and his cohorts will never find it'

'Well that's all well and good' said Parsifal ' but how are we going to defeat these Lessdar lot'


'Oh that's the easy part' said Nessie ' We are preparing to blow up the HQ with them all inside'

'Hang on a minute' said Lyn - pedalling furiously to the front of the crew ' Kev is in there - we have to get him out first' (Lyn was still convinced she could convert Kev to the delights of latex!! :wink2: )

' I am sorry' said Nessie ' but we don't have time to mount a rescue mission - as we speak we are getting our people into place'

Lyn was incensed - which caused her for some reason to turn bright green :confused: -


She launched herself off her scooter and swam right up to Nessie's face ' Listen y'all - ahm from the South - and mah daddy fought in the Fishdom Fishy War back in the 1800s and us southerners nevah leave a fish behind - y'all hear what I am saying!!'

Everyone was stunned slightly - after all they had never seen Lyn a) off her scooter and b) so green before.

CharM swam up to Lyn and putting a fin around her said calmly ' Come on dear friend - we won't let anything happen to Kev - we will sort this out somehow'

'We need to formulate a plan ' said Rod

'Tha don't say ' muttered Doug who was suddenly hit on the back of the head by a bouncing red ball.

Lulu swam past him and with a flick of her tail caught him again on the head....' Stop being so grumpy Doug' she said as she moved off to retrieve the ball.

'Yeah' everyone chorused - ' stop being so grumpy Doug!!'

With that they all moved to go back into the cavern leaving Doug to follow behind still grumbling to himself (nothing new there then!! :evil: )


Will our Motley Crew save Kev?
What about Jutta and Aqua?
Will Doug ever stop being grumpy?
What is happening back at Lessdar HQ?
Why are Brian and Maltimus keeping quiet?
Am I the only one reading this?
Any chance of a TIM HORTONSSSSSSSSSSSS !!!!!


08-22-2006, 04:02 PM
Unbeknown to our motley crew or Kev and everyone at the Lessdar HQ - things were a rumbling far below Loch Ness - over millions of years a crack in the centre of the earth had travelled until it had reached below Loch Ness.

Due to the very hard granite rock that Scotland is famed for (that goes all the way down to the earth's core) - the crack had come to a stop - this in itself wasn't a problem = what was a problem was the amount of magma that had been building up over time.

It started as a low rumble that gradually grew louder - all of the motley crew stopped talking and looked at each other - as did most of the people in Lessdar HQ (which was lucky for Kev as Rip was about to instruct one of the eels to do something unmentionable to him :eek: )

Then it happened......



Yes my friends - here our tale comes to its final ending - no one was left alive - in fact nothing was left of Loch Ness save a large crater (which in years to come would be known as the Motley Crew Crater in remembrance of those who fought so valiantly to keep the world a more colourful place.

But do not weep my friends - for up there in the Fishy Kingdom in the sky Chris was sneaking a cup of Tim Hortons and hiding from Jackie when he was temporarily blinded by a bright light.

Falling down in horror he thought that Cod herself had come to remonstrate with him - he lay there with his eyes closed - shivering - when he heard a familiar voice say ' What the heck was that' - then some coughing and spluttering and spitting.

Peeking through one eye he saw a jumble of fishes and crabs all trying to disentangle themselves - slowly they managed to separate themselves - ' Oh eh - eh - eh!! ' grinned Chris - 'what are you all doing up here'

Yes friends - all the motley crew had gone to that great Fishy Kingdom in the sky - including Kev and Jutta and Aqua who found themselves sitting on a fishy cloud after the explosion - actually Kev wanted to keep it as it was more comfortable than his old cushion.

What great celebrations were held - everyone hugged everyone else


- and no one minded when Chris sang his Christmas song medley.......even Doug was heard to hum along.


So here we come to the end of our tale folks........


Well yes actually this is ............


One thing though - Europa was STILL the cutest fish in ALL fishdom!!!


08-22-2006, 04:53 PM
LOL What a way to go :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


08-22-2006, 05:01 PM
Phewww what a Grand Finale :clap: :clap: :clap:

08-22-2006, 05:30 PM
:lol: :thumbsup:

08-22-2006, 09:53 PM
Awwwwwwwwwwwww:wave: :music: :music: :clap:

mr sandbanx
08-23-2006, 12:03 AM
"It's beginning to feel a lot like Fish sticks.... da de dah dah dah....

08-23-2006, 12:23 AM