PDA

View Full Version : ****Daily Wash - Tuesday, October 26 ****


dspinks
10-26-2004, 02:27 AM
Well, is this a first – wash begun by a lurker. Haven’t even done my usual once-a-month pop-in to the wash, but always watching, always listening, always laughing and crying and hugging with you all.

Just finished up a year in accounting hell. Can anyone explain to me why a major university, to remain unnamed, which runs its business on a fund accounting system, would purchase and attempt to implement a business-oriented income/expense accounting system?

Also, spent some time flitting back and forth to N. Carolina twice this summer – and DH and I have bought what we hope to be our retirement dream home. Bob, it’s located in Fuquay-Varina – how far is that from your new place in Raleigh?

Best for last – will be attending a three-day Terry Madden workshop this week – so glad I took a couple of quarters of watercolor classes this past year – at least I’ll feel I can half keep up!

Have a marvelous day!
Debra

Rod
10-26-2004, 03:34 AM
Hello All :)

Workshop with Terry Madden should be great Debra :)

First day at work this week, long weekend because of our Labour day holiday.

Had a great weekend, good weather and took in historical sites and art galleries on our travels ,

Rod.

painterbear
10-26-2004, 04:27 AM
Good Morning all,

It is a little before 4:30 a.m. here in quiet, peaceful Oakwood. Hope we have a repeat of the weather yesterday—it reached 70°F(22°C) and beautiful clear skies. I still have a few tomatoes and eggplants ripening up in the garden, so yesterday's weather was a blessing for them too.

Expecting a package with my new proofreading project this morning so that should keep me busy and out of trouble for a little while.

A few finishing touches on my three pears paintings and I'll scan them and start a thread. Maybe later this morning when there is light to paint by.

Debra, Glad you got to start the Wash. Hope you and your DH will be able to use your new dream home soon. Have fun at the Terry Madden workshop. Saw him on our local PBS station not too long ago, looks like you'll have a great time and learn a lot from him.

Hi Rod, Have fun at work. You sound like my DH and I when we travel—love to visit art museums and historical places, the older the better.

Weaving to AWAYTC!

SYL,

Sylvia

Roun2it
10-26-2004, 04:33 AM
Morning each,

Had a nice meal out with the kids and the grand kids last night, then they all decended on our house, destruction reigns this morning. So my job today majaor clean up and then Chris has left me the MG to clean and polish, the hardtop is now on so a good clean will see it through the winter.

Weathers not very promising though, it's been touted around this week that today will be our best day, well the sun was out at 7am but by 8 it was buried in threatening low cloud. Oh well.

Oh no, another elephant joke.................

What is grey, has four legs and a trunk?

.
.
.
.
.
..


a mouse going on holiday.................... you gotta laugh..........

stephie20
10-26-2004, 05:15 AM
Morning all..........fell like a stranger here at the moment, so much to catch up on...........very busy time at work, with everyone wanting their new furniture for xmas........should go quiet soon.........sure am looking forward to my holiday, only 4 more weeks, then lots of sunshine.............

Kev.....son still shining here, skies are lovely and clear :) .......

Debra....good luck with the workshop........

Morning Sylvia.......70 still :envy: wish our summers lasted that long

Hi Rod.........nice short week though eh :)

Only having 1 day off a week at the moment, so have lots to do at home.......can't remember the last time I painted :( ......perphaps later.

Hope everyone is well.....((((i)))) to all who are in need.

Europa
10-26-2004, 06:00 AM
MORNING WASHGANGEROOS!!!

Well am still struggling with that **** portrait - grrrrrrrrrrrr - have done the sketch for the next challenge painting - don't know whether or not I will get chance to paint at all today. Have a meeting with the business bank manager on Thursday so need to get some facts and figures on paper (Gulp!)

Debra - good to see you appearing out of lurkdom - lucky you with the Terry Madden workshop - I like his paintings.

Rod - belated Happy Labour Day :D - when my son was young I used to haul him round places like that - he actually still enjoys it in his old age....lol...so I must have done something right.

Sylvia - looking forward to seeing your finished painting.

Stephie - good to see you - you need to get your brushes wet mrs.

Kev - am saying nothing about the latest joke....lol.

Ok breakfast calls - BBL

Love and Hugs all round

LEAD ON MACDUFF!!!

Pat xxx

BobH
10-26-2004, 06:59 AM
How do you get down off an elephant?




You don't, you get down from a goose!




sorry


Good morning everyone.

Debra - re the accounting system. Having worked for years in accounting and systems I would say that a high-level type who never has to actually work with the system met with a very good salesman who convinced him/her that the system could do anything ("after correctly configuring the appropriate system options our state-of-the-art financial information system will provide your university with the most advanced and user-friendly financial controls and analysis capabilities available today. You'll be up and running in just a few weeks with the specialized assistance of our implementation professionals"). :D
Hey, we'll be neighbors! Fuquay-Varina is about a half-hour south of Raleigh. When are you moving?
:envy: :envy: Terry Madden :envy: :envy: When I was unemployed in MA I used to watch his show on PBS Monday afternoons. And I bought his "home watercolor class". A whole bunch of video lessons (that I now still have but can't watch because I no longer own a VCR :( )

Rod - my daughter will be in New Zealand for the entire month of January. What can she expect for weather?

Sylvia - we'll have nice 70 weather this week too. Gotta love it! You're lucky to still have fresh veggies from the garden!

I have a small drawing (actually a tracing) gridded and ready for transfer to a full sheet. So I stopped at Jerry's Artarama yesterday to buy a support for the paper. I was hoping they would have gatorboard as I've heard so many good things about it. They had it, nice dense foam, beautiful smooth white surface on both sides, nice and light, only $32 ... :eek: (the gatorboard is still at the store...) Guess I'll visit Lowe's.

We have a special day at my school called Flex Days. They happen several times a year. Basically the kids have no regular classes but on two successive Fridays have two half-day programs (mock elections, visit museums, math projects, english projects, etc.). They're very cool. So this Friday is a Flex Day. And I and another math teacher are doing a program on bubbles and spheres. I'm the spheres person. So I need some beach balls. Of course, I didn't think of any of this until very recently. Have you ever tried to buy beach balls at the end of October? I've received so many polite variations of "It's October, you nutcase!" :o hehe

Gotta go. A big "hey y'all" to AWAYTC.

Lulu
10-26-2004, 07:02 AM
Hi everyone - not able to read the washes I've missed but just want to say hi from our holiday residence..............
Am in heaven in JJ's home city of Brisbane - too bad JJ isn't here.................
has been hot and sunny - 30 degrees plus, just the way I like it.
Going to be very hard to drop back about 10 degrees when we get home!

am meeting up with Allan Jamieson on Thursday - he is a wetc member, not sure if he still visits or not. Does anyone remember him?
He has been named Australian Art teacher of the Year and also his Gallery has been named gallery of the year too (2004). Am really looking forward to meeting him, he has always been a sweetie.

:wave:

stephie20
10-26-2004, 07:02 AM
Calling all Canadians.....need your help........
My youngest son and his girlfriend and daughter want to go to Canada next year for a holiday, being such a vast country you have, they are not sure where abouts to go......they don't drive and don't really want to travel around much.....they have this dream of snow, log cabin or similar and a lake....any suggestions, they are thinking about Easter time, as Kadija works in a school and can only take time in school holidays........any help will be gratefully appreciated.......

Hi ya Pat :wave:

Morning Bob

Happy holidays Lulu

CharM
10-26-2004, 07:24 AM
Good morning everyone!!! It's just as black as coal outside... The sun really did try to shine yesterday, but the heavy, grey clouds won out... It's still balmy, with the temp only sitting at 7C this morning... It will probably rain again today...

A beautiful, grey striped cat has been coming to my back door... He's wild and really skittish... I've started putting food out for him and I think he's taken up residence under the foundation plantings by our back porch... Of course, Magoo's cat is going crazy, running from window to window... One cat who can't come in vs. one cat who can't go out...

We're counting down the days now... Thibaut will be returning home next Monday... We have one more day trip planned for the boys... and, of course, Hallowe'en... The boys have been working on their costumes... we have pumpkins at the ready to be carved... LOL... we had a discussion at the dinner table last night about roasting the pumpkin seeds... Thibaut just thought we were... strange... :D

Uschi... Thibaut has a large family... his father called to ask if they could book the trip to include Magoo... If we couldn't afford the ski trip, they were not going to go, either... Sheesh... Magoo can't go abroad and *not* learn to ski with them... so... we fessed up...

Otter... your leaves are beautiful... and they're fun to paint!!!

Debra... good to see you here emerging from Lurkdom... How wonderful that you've found your retirement home!!! Hope that retirement is soon to follow for you! And, what luck, a workshop with Terry Madden!!!

Hi Rod! I'll bet you took loads of pics and have enough ref material to generate reams of paintings!!

Sylvia... the tomatoes sound wonderful... the eggplant... well... read your dinner menu last night and decided to pass... :evil: Looking forward to seeing your pears!!

Kev... the mess from grandkids is a blessing... the alternative is bleak... Yes, those stupid jokes are making me chuckle!!!

Hi Stephie... you do sound busy... too bad it's interfering with your paint time... hopefully, it will be short-lived!

Pat... good luck with your meeting... you'll do fine...

:wave: to Bob and Lulu...

...work phone is ringing... gotta go... bbl...

jaytee
10-26-2004, 07:28 AM
Morning All !!

Good to see some old faces ( in the purely metaphorical sense you understand :D) here in the wash...........

Still blue skies and sunshine here............not sure it will hold......... and too busy opening parcels to go gardening. anyway its far too soggy....... had about 5 inches rain in last 6 days !!! Not sure when the bulbs will get planted :( could be in pots for this year.

Itching to get paintbrushes wet again......... long time since Ive felt that way so soon after painting......... must be all those kind words......... :wink2: :)

short break for another delivery. .....and MUST show you this !!! will upload 1 and attach some better quality ones :D

Fred & Ginger inspecting their new neighbours !!

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/26-Oct-2004/4661-WEBF-G-rug02.jpg

I shall ut aside a few hours for counting them. every time I look I spot another :D

HH&J ..... have the best possible day

CharM
10-26-2004, 07:57 AM
JT... They're GORGEOUS!!!! For you EBAY ROOM!!! Fred and Ginger seem to have settled in very nicely with the woven waggers... :D

Bob... sounds almost like the sales pitch we got for our ERP system... that we bought... that we've launched in 7 mfg. plants, with 1 to go... at a cost of... ooooh I can't even begin to fathom...

Lulu... you're in Brisbane and JJ's in Canada... I'm too new to remember Allan Jamieson, but your visit sounds wonderful...

Stephie... Canada is a B I G place... Your son will need to decide what it is they want to do... The March/April timeframe sees most Canadians heading South to Florida and Arizona 'cause it's still pretty cold and rainy here... The West Coast is pretty balmy at that time of year... They can see the mountains... Vancouver is a big city and they won't really need a car... But, they could visit Toronto here in Ontario... do museums (the ROM), the zoo, Science Centre, and theatre... Or, Quebec or Montreal in the province of Quebec... beautiful old world architecture, museums, etc...

...ok... there's my darn phone again... I really DO have to get to work... Sending good thoughts and positive vibes to all...

djdedman
10-26-2004, 08:29 AM
Mornin Washuns :wave:
Just quickly zzzzzooming by, wishing each of you a wonderful day.
Happy Painting
Jackie

Uschi
10-26-2004, 08:58 AM
Good Morning Everyone!!! Very, very heavy fog which will give way to a sunny day with balmy 15C (approx. 58F) temperature, so we are told.

I finished typing the initial draft for my university jobbie and will concentrate on some fall garden cleanup and grass cutting today.

Hi Debra! re Terry Madden workshop :envy: :envy: :envy:

Kev - yes, grandkids do make a heck of a mess, sometimes I wonder how I ever had the energy to do all this cleaning and tidying on a daily basis

Stephie - you sound very busy but happy!!!! :clap: :clap:

Char - we didn't have Halloween in Austria (maybe they do now?) but I would think it is the absolute most fun when you are Magoo's and Thibout's age. Wonderful finish to his stay!!!

JT - rugs, ohhh soooo rich!!!! Isn't it amazing and soooo humorous how animals immediately take over anything that's new in the house.

:wave: to all and sending good thoughts to all, and wishing you a good day!!!
Uschi

Little Old Lady
10-26-2004, 09:23 AM
Greetings! :wave:
Just a stop in to say H1. Oversept and have to be off to painting group.
Check back later.
JoAnn

BobH
10-26-2004, 10:33 AM
Lulu - I remember Allan Jamieson! Phenomenal artist and all around great guy. Say hello from all at WC.

Char - We did an ERP implementation at one of my previous companys. The cost was not to be believed. It almost destroyed the company (and did destroy my job...)

Christie
10-26-2004, 10:39 AM
Morning All!

Char, it seems like just yesterday Thibaut had arrived and was eating a meal at McDonald's! I think we are all going to miss him when he goes.:)

Jaytee, lovely rug! Nice to see that Fred and Ginger are playing nicely with their new roomies.:)

It's another clear crisp day. I think that the forecast is for a high somewhere between 3 C and 8 C. JJ and Alan have had the best weather while they have been here. I am thinking about having them stay longer so we can continue the streak.:D

Today is the get together here. We are going to rearrange the furniture so there is room for everyone, pick up some food and try to remember where our paints etc are...:D I am quite looking forward to meeting everyone again/for the first time.:)

Char is right Canada is BIG. My one piece of advice is listen to Char. DO NOT suggest Alberta (nice as it is) because a majority of our snowfall comes in the spring and being snowbound in a motel room is no fun.:D

Have go look busy now.

Take care.

mr sandbanx
10-26-2004, 11:11 AM
Art class last night and was late getting in. Stayed up even later with my elephants!

Working like a dog here, trying to keep Malty out of trouble and writing proposals. Its a beautiful day out so I may put on my boots and do a site visit.

How do you know if an elephant was in your fridge?

There are footprints in the butter! :wave:


Chris

Ottersong
10-26-2004, 11:36 AM
Just thought that I would mention that the leaves that I posted yesterday are real leaves not painted ones, I am struggling with trying to paint them, the red one is a real stinker on color.

Gotta run and get ready to go to PT, the barometer is way down so I am really stiff and sore, this is not going to be a pleasent session I think.

Another elephant joke....If an elephants trunk is up front what is under his tail?.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
the engine.

I know, bad joke, DH gave it to me, LOL

Love and hugs to all Otter

dspinks
10-26-2004, 12:13 PM
Why, Bob, I do believe that is EXACTLY what they said, word for word! We have had to customize the product so much that the vendor threatened to not support it any longer. Then we reminded them of all their promises - they're coming around. Besides, our customizations once integrated into the product could eventually help other educational institutions get a handle on it less painfully than we did - good all around, I say.

Depending on outcome of possible promotion for DH here, move to N. Carolina may be in a couple of years, or a few months. Say, we have a "bonus" room, too, but my DH has already laid claim to it for his home theatre/computer/football/baseball kingdom. That's ok, though - it doesn't face north!

Love the elephant jokes - Mary, yours is the funniest I've heard ever!

Debra

painterbear
10-26-2004, 12:24 PM
Waiting for DH to come home from his daily run so we can eat lunch, so I thought I'd check in the Wash and see "wha's happenen."

JayTee, I LOVE your rug. The little figures of deer and other animals are wonderful. Great, vibrant colors too. What country are they from originally? They look like they were woven in the Caucasus because of the geometric patterns in them as well as the figures.

Char, I grow and cook with the oriental-type eggplants (long and thin like a zucchini) which are more mild in flavor and have less seeds than the more ovoid Italian-types do. Even if you don't like eggplant you might like this Moussaka with its layers of tomato-flavored ground beef and bechamel sauce with Kayseri-cheese melted in it. This is assembled like a lasagna with fried eggplant slices instead of pasta and topped with a sprinkle of Parmesan Cheese before being baked in a 350° oven. Great flavor combination, not too strong at all.

I used to have a feral cat who came around our back door when we lived in Italy. I named him Salvatore. He never did get tame enough to pet, but I would put out food and water for him and he got where he trusted me enough so I could stand behind the screen door while he ate about 2 ft. away. I even managed to get a few photos of him, crooked tail and beat-up ears and scarred nose while he was sitting on our fence post. I think he sired half the cats that roamed through our parco! LOL! I liked his spunk! The neighbors used to feed him rigatoni and spaghetti which he liked as much as the cat food I was putting out. :wink2:

Bob, I made a mini-greenhouse in the garden when there were frost warnings by draping the plants with a thin plastic drop cloth and tieing the ends down to the fence to keep it from blowing away. I think that not only kept the frost off, it warmed up the plants beneath it on chillier days.

Good luck with getting your plexiglass support for the large paintings you are doing. You can definitely beat the price of the gator board at Artarama! Maybe you should look for smaller spheres for your project at school—how about Christmas balls? Lots of those out in the stores nowadays.

Lulu, I remember Allan. Haven't seen him here in quite a while though. Tell him Congratulations on winning such a great title! Have fun getting together with him.

Weaving to all who were here that I haven't mentioned and those yet to come.

Sylvia

pampe
10-26-2004, 12:30 PM
LOVE THE CARPET, Janet...WOOT!!!

Almost got up and drove to Calgary this morning....thought of all those WCers together without me :envy: :crying: :rolleyes:

Sun is shining and I plan to finish a portrait then work on 3 pair of socks I am finishing for Christmas....

Have a great day

droll13
10-26-2004, 01:24 PM
Hi gang,

Late visit for me today (almost 10:15 AM here).

I'm looking forward to Thursday when Faafil & I are planning on meeting JJ & Alan.

I made a photo outing lyesterday afternoon/evening to the local wetlands and then to the beach. Got some good pics. This morning promised to have an interesting sunrise, so I recharged camera batteries and went to the local park.

Between the 2 outings, I took almost 150 pics. I'll share 4 with you here. These are much smaller and compressed, so not as good quality as the originals. I'll try to post the full-size versions in the RIL later today.


I like the posture of this fellow (Great Egret):

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/26-Oct-2004/23514-MVC-518F_crop-01.jpg


Then across Pacific Coast Highway to the beach. The colors were amazing - not a dazzling, dramatic sunset, but really interesting complementary pastel hues. Here's one:

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/26-Oct-2004/23514-MVC-587F.JPG


And at the neighborhood park this morning:

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/26-Oct-2004/23514-MVC-612F.JPG

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/26-Oct-2004/23514-MVC-611F-AA.JPG

Have a good day/evening.

amaze_1101
10-26-2004, 01:40 PM
Art class last night and was late getting in. Stayed up even later with my elephants!

Working like a dog here, trying to keep Malty out of trouble and writing proposals. Its a beautiful day out so I may put on my boots and do a site visit.

How do you know if an elephant was in your fridge?

There are footprints in the butter! :wave:


Chris

LOL Chris
How do you know if there's an elephant in your closet?

There's an extra trunk on the shelf. :D

HAHAH I just made that up, Stupid I know!

Hey washerfolk. :wave:

amaze_1101
10-26-2004, 01:45 PM
GUESS WHAT?... I went dirt car racing last night. It was with my work collegues and I was actually only going along to watch them as I have a niggly back complaint right now but it wasn't enough for me to just stand there watching, sore back or not, so they let me do a little practice run first just to see if I could feel my back hurting but it was fine, and the seats were quite comfy as they gave me extra padding for my car. It was just awesome and I had a ball of a time.
They keep the track wet as you race so its slippery and I was doing donuts and spins everwhere. I loved it and even got passed a few of the boys to show them whos boss. lol Smashed into the wall a couple of times too but that was ok and it gave the guys a bit of a laugh. We wore coveralls to protect our clothes plus thin hats to cover our hair then helmets and goggles because you get really covered in mud. No one left the track without mud on their face and hands. We will be doing it again as a regular social activity for work.
Gosh I love doing different things. Makes life so inetersting. :wave:

Europa
10-26-2004, 01:49 PM
Ok - you wanted elephant jokes - here we go!!

Q. What is large and grey and goes round and round in circles?

A. An elephant in a revolving door!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q. Why do elephants paint their toenails red?

A. So they can hide in a strawberry patch!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q. How can you tell when an elephant is under your bed?

A. Your nose is squashed against the ceiling!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: What did Chris say when he saw a herd of elephants in the distance?
A: "Look, a herd of elephants in the distance"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What did Chris say when he saw a herd of elephants with sunglasses
A: Nothing. He doesn't recognize them.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What did Chris say when he saw a herd of giraffes in the distance?
A: "Haha! You fooled me once with those disguises, but not this time!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What is the difference between en elephant and a plum?
A: An elephant is grey.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What did Char say when she saw a herd of elephants in the distance?
A: "Look! A herd of plums in the distance" (Char is colour blind)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: How do you get four elephants into a Mini?
A: Two in the front, two in the back.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What game do four elephants in a mini play?
A: Squash

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: How do you get an elephant into the fridge?
1. Open door.
2. Insert elephant.
3. Close door.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: How do you get a giraffe into the fridge?
1. Open door.
2. Remove elephant.
3. Insert giraffe.
4. Close door.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. The lion, the king of the jungle, decided to have a party. He invited all the animals in the jungle, and they all came except one. Which one?
A. The giraffe, because he was still in the fridge.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: How do you know there are two elephants in your fridge?
A: The door won't close.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: How do you know there are three elephants in your fridge?
A: There'll be one waiting outside in the Mini.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why do elephants wear shoes with yellow soles?
A: So you don't see them when they float upside down in a bowl of custard.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Have you ever seen an elephant floating upside down in a bowl of custard?
A: No, of course not.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why do elephants live in herds?
A: To get a wholesale reduction on the shoes with yellow soles.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: How do you shoot a blue elephant?
A: With a blue elephant gun, of course.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: How do you shoot a yellow elephant?
A: Ever seen a yellow elephant?!!!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why are elephants wrinkled?
A: Have you ever tried to iron one?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why did the elephant fall out of the tree?
A: Because it was dead.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree?
A: It was glued to the first one.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree?
A: It thought it was a game.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: And why did the tree fall down?
A: It thought it was an elephant.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why did the elephant cross the road?
A: Chicken's day off.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What was the elephant doing on the motorway?
A: About 5 mph (8kph in the rest of the world)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: How do you get an elephant into a VW?
A: Open the car door, put the elephant inside, close the door.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: How do you put an elephant into a fridge?
A: Open the VW door, take the elephant out, close the VW door, open the fridge, put the elephant inside, close the fridge.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: How do you get 4 elephants into a Volkswagen?
A: 2 in the front and 2 in the back


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: How do you know if there are 4 elephants in your fridge?
A: There's a VW parked outside it.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: How do you get 8(!) elephants in a fridge?
A: Put four in a VW, four in another VW, put the two VW's in the fridge, A fridge large enough to hold two elephants can surely hold two VW's!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: How do you get Maltman in the fridge?
A: Open door, get two VW's out, put Maltman in, close door.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: Why are there so many elephants running around free in the jungle?
A: The fridge isn't large enough to hold them all.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: How many elephants can you actually put in a fridge?
A: Depends on the number of elephants.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What did the fifth elephant in the VW discover?
A: The sun roof.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: The Lion (king of the animals) gathered all the animals for a meeting, all of them showed up except the elephants. Why?
A: They were stuck in the VW.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: How many giraffes can you fit in a VW?
A: None, the elephants are in there!



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What do you call two elephants on a bicycle?
A: Optimistic!



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What do you get if you take an elephant into the city?
A: Free Parking.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What do you get if you take an elephant into work?
A: Sole use of the elevator.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: How do you know if there is an elephant in the pub?
A: It's bike is outside.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: How do you know if there are two elephants in the pub?
A: There is a dent in the cross-bar.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: How do you know if there are three elephants in the pub?
A: Stand on the bike and have a look in the window.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why do elephants wear tiny green hats?
A: To sneak across a pool table without being seen.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: How many elephants does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Don't be stupid, elephants can't change light bulbs.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What do you get if you cross an elephant with a whale?
A: A submarine with a built-in snorkel.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why do elephants wear sandals?
A: So that they don't sink in the sand.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: How do you get an elephant on top of an oak tree?
A: Stand him on an acorn and wait fifty years.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What if you don't want to wait fifty years?
A: Parachute him from an airplane.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why isn't it safe to climb oak trees between 2 and 4 in the afternoon?
A: Because that is when the elephants practice their parachute jumping.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why are elephants feet shaped that way?
A: To fit on lily pads.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why isn't it safe to go onto the lily pads between 4 and 6 in the afternoon?
A: That's when the elephants are walking on the lily pads.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why are frogs so short?
A: They go onto the lily pads between 4 and 6 in the afternoon.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
A: 5 O'clock (trick question - not "Time to get a new fence..")

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why do elephants paint the soles of their feet yellow?
A: So that they can hide upside-down in bowls of custard.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Did you ever find an elephant in your custard?
A: No? Well, it must work.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What do you know when you see three elephants walking down the street wearing pink sweatshirts?
A: They're all on the same team.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: How do you know if there's an elephant in bed?
A: He has a big 'E' on his pajamas jacket pocket.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: Why do elephants have trunks?
A: Because they would look silly with glove compartments.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What do you give a seasick elephant?
A: Lots of room.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with an ant?
A: A dead ant.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: What is more difficult than getting an elephant into the back seat of your car?
A: Getting TWO elephants into the back seat of your car!



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: What happens when an elephant sits in front of you at the movies?
A: You miss most of the picture!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What did the peanut say to the elephant?
A: Nothing, peanuts can't talk.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: How many elephants can you fit into a Mercedes?
A: 5. Two in the front, two in the back, and one in the glove compartment.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: What is beautiful, gray and wears glass slippers?
A: Cinderelephant.


PHEW!!!! I have more if you want.......ROTFL.

Pat

Starsprite
10-26-2004, 02:24 PM
I think that's about enough elephant jokes there Pat!!!!!!!! :eek: LOL

That should do it till next year...thanks!!! :D

Elaine your joke - you made it up? Was great!!! Very good!! :D

How was watercolour (using your spelling) class last night Chris..you never did say what you painted. :)


I'm trying to work but am nervous about my daughter Christine. She is at the hairdresser's now getting her hair colored blonde. She has long dark brown hair and has always had dark brown hair (except once in high school when she went Gothic and had black hair :eek: ). I cannot picture her as a blonde and she will be coming to my house immediately afterwards to show me. I'm afraid I will laugh or be totally shocked. I just hope it looks nice.......................I'll let ya'll know. LOL

P.S. Fantastic pics Dave!!!! Just wish I could paint clouds worth a darn!!

Starsprite
10-26-2004, 03:28 PM
OH NO!!!!!


:evil: Actually it turned out nice :D Smart girl went with blonde highlights instead of all over blonde. :)

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/26-Oct-2004/6385-Christine.jpg

Europa
10-26-2004, 04:01 PM
LOL - I didnt realise I had put THAT many.........oops!!!....lol.

Great pic of your daughter - her hair looks great!!!

Pat

mr sandbanx
10-26-2004, 04:01 PM
How was watercolour (using your spelling) class last night Chris..you never did say what you painted. :)



Who said I painted Patty? ... did it not occur to you I may have modelled?

Good pile o' jokes Pat.. I think you missed one!

Elaine I hope you never meet the Sprite coming the other way in her flashy little sports car! Love your little joke.

Wow Dave, nice pictures.

Chris

Starsprite
10-26-2004, 04:06 PM
Who said I painted Patty? ... did it not occur to you I may have modelled?

Good pile o' jokes Pat.. I think you missed one!

Elaine I hope you never meet the Sprite coming the other way in her flashy little sports car! Love your little joke.

Wow Dave, nice pictures.

Chris

So Chris...you were masquerading around as Stan the emerald bug huh? LOL :wink2: :D


Elaine....lets see your sports car........ ladies start your engines!!! :D

amaze_1101
10-26-2004, 05:17 PM
So Chris...you were masquerading around as Stan the emerald bug huh? LOL :wink2: :D


Elaine....lets see your sports car........ ladies start your engines!!! :D

You'll have to wait till I wash my race car Pattie. You can't see car for mud. :D

Can you imagin it, Chris posing? OH MY GOSSSSHHH ...(rushing to hide under the desk!) and I havn't had lunch yet either! :D :D :D

Starsprite
10-26-2004, 05:22 PM
You'll have to wait till I wash my race car Pattie. You can't see car for mud. :D

Can you imagin it, Chris posing? OH MY GOSSSSHHH ...(rushing to hide under the desk!) and I havn't had lunch yet either! :D :D :D

Ok Elaine..I can wait a little.

I can't imagine Chris posing in the nude no....... but, I'll have to think about it. :wink2:

Sharon Douglas
10-26-2004, 06:38 PM
Hi all :wave:

I`m just on my way to bed, but wanted to let you all know I`m still alive, lol and thinking of you often.

I`m up to my ears here with one thing and another, but I`ll be back tomorrow to post my next challenge painting, and see what Andy has for me :confused: :D I`m sure it will be fun whatever it is :evil:

Anyway Hugs to all, be good and I`ll be popping in tomorrow .
Take care.

CharM
10-26-2004, 06:51 PM
Pat... thanks for the chortle!! LOL... how can anything so dumb be so funny??? :D :D :D

Sprite... your daughter's hair turned out very, very nice...

Syl... I'll have to trust you... but... an eggplant is an eggplant is an eggplant... even the name sounds gross... :D I looked for your pears earlier today but didn't see them... :(

Gorgeous (as always) pics, Dave... Those sunsets are beautiful!

Christie... you need to check out this link... Antacids linked to Pneumonia (http://apnews.myway.com/article/20041026/D85VB52O0.html) ... don't know if you take them, but the article is interesting...

Hoping that all of you had a blast today!!!

:wave: to everyone I've missed...

amaze_1101
10-26-2004, 11:00 PM
Ok Elaine..I can wait a little.

I can't imagine Chris posing in the nude no....... but, I'll have to think about it. :wink2:

Spritee here's my racing car. It's much cuter than your's don't ya think? LOL

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/26-Oct-2004/41055-Dirtrace2.jpg

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/26-Oct-2004/41055-DirtRace.jpg

This is the place we went last night with work. It was real fun. The guy in yellow with the bald head threw handfuls of mud at me everytime I went past him. The other guy in yellow squirted water on the track to keep it wet and also at us as went passed. They're real hard cases and lots of fun.

laudesan
10-26-2004, 11:29 PM
WOOT... Elephant jokes..:D

Pam wish you had come...:)

I am tired, time for me to go to bed I think. Alan and I have spent the last 2 hours rearranging our luggage..

We are off to Kananaskis tomorrow with Christies parents... :)

Huggles everyone

Starsprite
10-26-2004, 11:32 PM
Hey Elaine...that does look like fun!!! Messy...but fun!!! :) At least you're pretty well covered with those jumpsuits and helmet...eye goggles...etc. Are you in any of these pics or are you takin the pic? Must be a fun bunch you work with! :)

Here I am ready to go...in the center lane..... move over guys I'm comin through!!! LOL In my souped up Nelsonmobile!! Mr. Mudpie thrower.... watch out..I'm aimin straight for your bald head!!! :D :) :evil:

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/26-Oct-2004/6385-48302-50063556_copy.jpg

amaze_1101
10-26-2004, 11:37 PM
LOL Sprittee thats SUCH A SHINEY vehicle you have there I doubt they will allow it on the track honey and I don't see any saftey belts either. They are very particular about such things. :D