View Full Version : Art Humor

10-09-2004, 05:20 PM
Thought it would be fun to start a thread with art jokes. Anyone else want to play??? :p

Q. How many artists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Ten. One to change it, and nine to reassure him how good it looks.

Q. How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lighbulb?
A. Fish

Next ??? :D

10-09-2004, 07:18 PM
Not exactly a joke, but.....

I wonder if an artist who paints nudes spends his/her time with naked people so he/she can paint, or paints to spend his/her time with naked people.

My guess is that it's probably some of both.

10-09-2004, 07:36 PM
An artist had been working with a nude female model on a portrait for a long time. Every day, he was up early and worked until late each evening.

After a few months, the artist was very tired from all this exertion and decided to take it easy for the day. Since his model had already arrived, he suggested they have a glass of wine and talk for a while.

They talked for a few hours, getting to know each other better. Then as the artist was opening another bottle of wine, he heard a car pulling in the driveway. Guilt swept over him as he jumped up and said to his model, "Oh no, it's my wife! Quick, take off your clothes!"

:p :D

10-10-2004, 06:08 PM
Did you hear about the artist who won the lottery? When a reporter asked him what he was going to do he said, "oh, I'll probably just keep paintng 'til the money's gone." :)

10-10-2004, 06:10 PM

Is a portrait of a Policeman a brush with the law?


mr sandbanx
10-10-2004, 08:57 PM
This is from Garrison Keillors Prairie Home Companion
(Great site www. prairiehome.org)

Ole, while not a brilliant man, was a gifted portrait artist. His fame grew and soon people from all over the country were coming to him for paintings. One day, a beautiful young woman pulled up to his house in a stretch limo. She asked Ole if he would paint her in the nude.

This was the first time anyone had made this request. The beautiful lady said money was no object; she was willing to pay $5,000. Not wanting to get into trouble with his wife, Ole asked the lady to wait while he went in the house and conferred with Lena, his wife. In a few minutes he returned and said to the lady, "Ya shure, yoo betcha. I'll paint yoo in da nude, but I'll heff ta leave on my socks so I'll heff a place to vipe my brushes."

10-10-2004, 10:22 PM
Fred imagined himself a brilliant artist. But his teacher said he was so bad it was a wonder he could draw breath.

What do you call an American drawing?

A Yankee Doodle.

Did you hear about the two little boys who found themselves in a modern art gallery by mistake?

"Quick," said one, "Run ! Before they say we did it !"

Cathie Jones
10-10-2004, 11:28 PM
Artist Pablo Picasso surprised a burglar at work in his new chateau. The intruder got away but Picasso told the police he could do a rough sketch of what he looked like. On the basis of his drawing the police arrested a mother superior the minister of finance a washing machine and the Eiffel tower.


There was this world famous painter. In the prime of her career she started losing her eyesight. Fearful that she might lose her life as a painter she went to see the best eye surgeon in the world.

After several weeks of delicate surgery and therapy her eyesight was restored. The painter was so grateful that she decided to show her gratitude by repainting the doctor's office.

Part of her work included painting a gigantic eye on one wall. When she had finished her work she held a press conference to unveil her latest work of art: the doctor's office.

During the press conference one reporter noticed the eye on the wall and asked the doctor What was your first reaction upon seeing your newly painted office especially that large eye on the wall?

To this the eye doctor responded I said to myself 'Thank God I'm not a proctologist.'

10-11-2004, 01:09 PM
I'm sure we've all met the artist who was so bad he could draw only flies...

10-11-2004, 03:08 PM
A Sunday school teacher began her lesson with a question: "Boys and girls, what do we know about God?"

A hand shot up in the air. "He is an artist!" said the kindergarten boy.

"Really? How do you know?" the teacher asked.

"You know ... Our Father, who does art in Heaven... "