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jbitzel
09-22-2004, 08:22 AM
My wife always says shes bored, so I suggested she paint. Her comment is always that she sucks but she will never try. How do you get someone interested enough to leap? I know there is a teachers forum but it looks like a mess and I know alot of members are teachers anyways.

theIsland
09-22-2004, 09:38 AM
Painting probably isn't her thing. If you really want to involve her in your hobby, get some body paints. ;)

Noma

ExpressiveAngie
09-22-2004, 09:51 AM
Painting probably isn't her thing. If you really want to involve her in your hobby, get some body paints. ;)

Noma

lol, hmmmmmmmmmm :D

jbitzel
09-22-2004, 10:06 AM
but that is the problem she has no thing, she has no desire to try anything involving a challenge

Lady Carol
09-22-2004, 10:19 AM
James,
there has to be some level of interest or it will not work. Why did you take up painting? It was because you had enough interest to give it a go and decided you liked the process of creating.

As much as you like it, you can't encourage her enough to take it up. Also there may be an underlying powerplay going on...you want her to do it and therefore she won't. I don't know you or your wife personally so this assumption may be wrong.

My husband was in the same situation. After he had his stroke (at 39) and he came to terms with the fact that one of his hands was affected and he would be unable to write software the way he used to, he sat around on disability getting bored. If he complained about it I told him to fix the boredom. I tried encouraging him to take up art as a form of therapy for his hand but he wouldn't. Ultimately it came down to the fact that he believed that he would never paint as well as I do and therefore he should never try...pride, etc. There was also a power play going on. I didn't care about his ability I just wanted him to start to enjoy something that I enjoyed so much, and to be occupied during the day beyond the laundry. So I had to let it go. He did ultimately what he wanted. He has now gone back to work part time.

Bottom line is as much as you love them and want to share a common interest with them, it has to be a self desire.

champagneharley
09-22-2004, 12:26 PM
My wife always says shes bored, so I suggested she paint. Her comment is always that she sucks but she will never try. How do you get someone interested enough to leap? I know there is a teachers forum but it looks like a mess and I know alot of members are teachers anyways.
There are other forms of art. I belong to a group that presents 'art for the non-artist'. Or maybe she might be interested in the history behind art and read while you paint. Understanding art has much to do with enjoyment of art and visiting galleries should be enjoyable for both of you.
I teach 'sketchbook (art journals)' - pen and wash and other variations - it's basically a visual diary of things around you - even with comments - it is PERFECT for someone who can't paint or draw very well as much is just suggested - you are not aiming for perfection or to frame, so it's totally different.
There is also decorative art, or even craftmaking where you can incorporate painting - as in jewellery, scrapbooking, rubber stamping, etc.
Or what about sculpture - maybe start off with polymer clay.
Over and above that, if she's a 'secretary' type person, why not suggest she set up a database system and photo album to catalogue your artwork, prints and exhibition entries (if you do all this). I have working artist (http://www.workingartist.com) and never have time to keep up with it most times.
Regards,
Jillian

Donald_Smith
09-22-2004, 03:45 PM
Carol,

I have sort of the opposite problem that you did with your husband. My wife loves to make crafts and to mix and paint things. She always said that we didn't have any common interests, so I took up landscape painting, because she had wanted to do that. Now she wont paint landscapes with me, because she I'm too good. I tell her it isn't a competition, she should do it for the enjoyment and pleasure, but so far I haven't been able to get her to paint with me. I've even made her an pochade box and it is full of paints and brushes. I end up using it.

Marriage: The cohabitation of two people that must work and fight, just to hold it together. Marriage is WORK, who ever says it isn't is selling something.

Later,
D

champagneharley
09-22-2004, 06:21 PM
It's not how compatible you are, but how you deal with those compatibilities that count.

:D
Regards,
Jillian

Donald_Smith
09-22-2004, 11:30 PM
I've never had problems with compatiblities, it was always the incompatibilities that were difficult. But, one must learn to love other's for their differences, and respect those differences.

Getting back to the subject of the list, if your wife likes to read, hopefully she will bring along a book and read while you paint. She may have no interest in painting. She may not even know what she might want to do. Some people tend to enjoy helping other to achieve their goals rather than to set some for themselves. You can't make a spouse do anything. You can offer, encourage, hope, pray, suggest, ask, and beg, but if they don't want to paint, it just isn't something that interests them, so help them to find something they would enjoy, if you can.

Just my 2 cents,
Don

sassybird
09-23-2004, 12:31 AM
but that is the problem she has no thing, she has no desire to try anything involving a challenge

You can't make someone want to do something, anything, and the more you press her the more resistance you will be met with.

joa
09-23-2004, 01:18 AM
" If he complained about it I told him to fix the boredom." And Carol is right! Same thing I used to tell my kids when they were bored. Give them (wife, kids, whoever) the materials and the opportunities to do things, and let them fix their own boredom. :)

jbitzel
09-23-2004, 07:31 AM
Someone once said that you never pick the things you like about your spouse but you pick the incapatabilities that you think you can deal with. :D But, in order to bring closure with this post, my wife is trying knitting, and I am happy for her.