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okiltex
09-17-2001, 04:00 AM
This is for an assignment at my university, due this Thursday. We were supposed to start with an idea in our head and then communicate it clearly. Perhaps I've done so, perhaps not.

Regardless, please offer any comments you have on how I might improve composition, perspective, proportion, variety, dynamics/tension, contrast, content, shape, or anything else you see. Don't worry about my feelings with your comments; I know you're here to help me.

Also, what does the work make you feel? What does it communicate to you?

Since the photo was taken, I've fixed up the white shape of the left eye and something else that I don't remember.

Thanks for taking the time to view this and comment! I appreciate it very much.

Charcoal, 22x30 inches

Luvy
09-17-2001, 09:13 AM
Looks great to me. Although I'm wondering where the ropes are on the other hand, other than that looks fine to me. But I'm a newbie to the art world

rsmak
09-17-2001, 09:21 AM
it is nice,but compare the strong muscle with his arm ,the body is a bit too small ,I think.
rosanna

ejfarrae
09-17-2001, 09:58 AM
first let me just say that this is a great drawing. very powerful. great use of darks and lights. balanced composition. great expression. this piece is loaded with emotion. despair. hopelessness. anger. longing. very effective.
the only criticisms i have are that i think the right hand needs a little more work. it seems unfinished, and the dark lines on the face are a little hard to read. are these shadows or some more bindings?
also, great job on the textures of the body.

pampe
09-17-2001, 10:03 AM
agreeing with the above comments.....very powerful and well-done

Pam

jerryW
09-17-2001, 05:08 PM
more to the left,
a little higher,
ahhh...
can you scratch harder?
yes!

okiltex
09-18-2001, 01:34 AM
Hey everyone, thank you for the comments and suggestions. I see what you mean about the hand looking awkward and unfinished. And I also see what you mean about the body perhaps being too small for the arms.

I was afraid that the straps wound around the face might not be clear, but then again I was afraid to make them too distinct, thinking that might distract away from the expression on the face.

Lastly, I knew that there might be a problem with the ties not going to one of the hands, but I feared that would interfere with the content if I added a strap onto the left arm.

Thanks again for all your suggestions. Perhaps when I rework it, I'll get to put the finished version up.

BTW, the objects binding my face and arm are "phylacteries" (or tefillin). These are objects often used during prayer within Judaism. Wrapped 7 times around the arm which is not your writing arm, and wrapped once around the forehead (though not around the face).