my experience

[FioreQ]

I'm not sure where even to begin with what I'm tryin to say. I'm in shock as everybody else is and still can't beleive what is going on in our world.
Thing that makes me just sick of everything is that I've been thru this twice...this has became like a regular thing in my life now.And that is so sad.
I ran from one city, because war started, to another.....then that city got bombed....then ran to another country (even that country had it's thing but not as bad as this) and now USA...it makes me think...will this ever stop? or is this going to became a regular routine in my life.....and if it is....how do we continue living normal...bringing children to this world....how can I do that to my future child? I don't want him to live my life....to fear everything around it...that is not life...
and just as you think it's over...something new comes...and changes your perspective again.....

when I sat in front of this computer I had no clue what I was going to write....I just have so many emotions inside and I feel like I can expres it here...

But with everything going around....one thing we can't let go and that is hope....no one has right to touch my life..and I'm not going to let that happen....

It's really sad watching those people on tv looking for their loved ones....but not to sound too harsh....I've seen all that in my country ....and that is something we can't help...but we live on....

I don't know if I trying to put a msg in this post that I'm writing now.....but I'm just writing away....

recently they asked to me write about war.....and my experience...what is there to write....as we cannot describe the horror of tuesday...I can't describe the horror of war in my country,fear of every minute of every shadow....of everything...
but with good hope and sense of humor we live on. Yes....I did say sense of humor...because that is the main thing that saved my dad (which I HAVEN'T SEEN OR HEARD FOR 4 YEARS while war was going on)....he always looked at bright side and joked around not to let his spirit go down...and he survived...he's well...
unfortunatly not with me at the moment because i'm stuck in LA ....but I'm going home to my parents asap....

well I think I said enough....
just take care of each other..and cherish every day,little things,and people around you because that is our food for life...

Luv ya all
me :)

ps.thanx for hearing me out....

[arlene]

{{{{{{Fiore}}}}}}}}

thank you for writing from your heart. I agree with you that humor is what in even the worst of times can see us through...

you have seen more than most of us, and at such a young age...i pray for the day when all children don't have to grow up with such hatred...

we are all one...and as someone else said, we all bleed red blood...and when we donate our blood, we don't know who it's going to...

[Lulu]

Fiore, thank you for sharing from your heart. It means a lot to hear your story. What I would really like to do is to take you in my arms and hug you tight. Bless you.

[ZOTMA]

Fiore, thanks for sharing your thoughts. What you've been through, people shouldn't have to go through. Same with what's going on now. What you said about children; before I had one, it was something I thought about at great length. Decide if you're willing to risk it and then decide that the person you'll bring into the world (should you decide that) will be strong and intelligent and hopefully able to be constructive in making the world better somehow. We have a tiny bit of control in that respect, we have our roles in what the future will be like.

[FioreQ]

Thank you all for kind responses.
Even though it's been almost 10 yrs since war in my country started it still has affect on me,my friends and anyone from there.Now that I'm a little older at age 21 I can think different, but fear is still in your bones. I was 11 when everything started...and child that old should never ever know of such fear.
My dad still jumps and swears when phone rings in our house (association of different sirens and such things).....

And now I think i'm on safe ground....but am I? are we?

I have so many questions in my head....but I try not to think about it....I try not to bring up those topics ...
look at future and go forward for a better tomorrow...how far will I get...we shall see....

luv ya all
:)

[Christie]

Thank you for sharing. I agree that a sense of humour is all important because even during moments of disruption, there are bright spots. The first step in having your spirit broken is losing your ability to see that lighter side of a situation.

I am very worried about the world that my children are growing up in. The hardest part of September 11 was that I had to explain to my 6 year old what had happened and how people could do that to each other. Watching comprehension dawn was so heartbreaking, I almost cried.

FioreQ, it is important that people like you speak up so others know that there are others who have suffered and come through on the other side.

[leesmith]

Fiore,

May God bless you for what you have experienced in your short lifetime.

I'm sorry that this tragedy in the US has caused you to have to relive other horrors. It is so sad that the children of the world cannot just live and be a child whose days are filled with child things. You are about my daughter's age, her life has been very safe in comparison to yours. But that has now changed. I have a son 13, who really doesn't grasp these events and I don't want him to. Right now, I'm afraid for him to even play 2 houses down our street.

We all share this grievous burden of fear and uncertainty. Where in this world is safety and peace? Pray without ceasing.

[FioreQ]

I agree with you guys so much.
on tuesday my 6 yr old nephew said "what if terrorist come to my room and kill me?" oh my God , my heart just broke...because I was once in his shoes...screaming on top of my lungs at everyone in the house to be quiet because i thought someone is going to come in and kill us all. And I will tell you something that beleive NO ONE knows....but I decided to share this with you....sometimes when I go to bed some bad thoughts start coming to my mind and my biggest fear is going out of my room and finding my parents killed...I don't know why this is happening to me....


and children of today don't need this stupid thing on their minds.That is all I think of....and it brakes my heart...and you can't explain it to them...unfortunatly I had to experience it to know how important life is ....I just hope that people will start learing on others mistakes...

oh I don't know what else to write...so much emotions inside of me....
I'll write more for you guys if any of this helps in any kind of way...

only thing I can suggest....is that we all have to be careful now...don't go to public places too much,going out or things like that.....it is just not worth a risk....because you just never never know.....staying at home at times like this is much better idea...

luv ya
:)

[arourapope]

Fiore~
You share a very deep painful experience with us. For your openness, I thank you.
My little boy is five.
So far, free of nighmares......
Thank-you, for your heartfelt words. May you find a peaceful place to call your home. And may you be at ease in your heart.
Much love and light,
Aurora

[jheinrich]

all love!

j*

[FioreQ]

aurora and others...your posts really touch me...thank you...it really means a lot to me....really...
and if my emotional experience can help in any way....I'm willing to write more and more...because stories are unfortunatly endless .....
It helps to get this out of me....but I'm over it ...I consider myself lucky because thank God all of my family members survived...and that is the biggest gift....but sad thing is that I haven't seem most of them in 8 yrs and to think that we saw each other every single day and almost lived together before...that is ....very sad for me....

but lets smile because frowns wont help

:)
thank you all