I want to paint...

[ArtsiePhartsie]

My husband commited suicide on Thursday afternoon ...I'm in shock and deep soulful pain. I don't know what to do. I thought if I tried to paint it would help me to heal....too early I guess. I'm so terribly sad. I cant seem to get the pastel on the paper.....I guess I just needed to vent. Thank you for letting me do that.

artsie

[sundiver]

What awful news, AP! I'm very, very sorry, and can only imagine what you are going through.
It's certainly understandable that you are too much shock to do much of anything.
Maybe you could try something simple, like a sketch of an apple out of the fridge or an exercise in a book, where you could work more or less automatically.
Just know that my prayers are with you in this terrible time.

[Dark_Shades]

Oh My Goodness Artsie........ Im so shocked and stunned..... and my deepest sympathy's to you and yours....... and I am sure I can say for everyone, that we are here for you if need be..... to talk or listen.....

I am so, very very sorry

[Tom Christopher]

This is very sad--our thoughts are with you--I am very sorry--Tom

[PegR]

Artsie, I am so very sorry. My prayers are with you. Don't press yourself too much just now--it's too soon. Please stay in touch with us, and let us know how how you're doing.

Peg

[DeeP]

So sorry to hear about your loss...my thoughts and prayers go out to you. In time you will find comfort in painting again.

[aurora70]

I am so sorry and will keep you in my thoughts and prayers...as I'm sure everyone here will be doing. My deepest sympathies to you and your family...please take care and the painting will come with time.

Monica

[Khadres]

Oh, how terrible for you! My sympathies and best wishes in these dark days of your life! Try to hang on til the worst pain fades and then you'll find your art to be a wonderful way to work through your grief and heal. Don't push yourself to do anything right now....take each day one at a time. That's difficult enough to accomplish when things like this happen.

HUG!

Sooz

[Paula Ford]

I am so deeply saddened by your news... my prayers and thoughts are with you.
Paula

[Stoy Jones]

I am so sorry and will keep you in my thoughts and prayers...as I'm sure everyone here will be doing. My deepest sympathies to you and your family...please take care and the painting will come with time.

Monica

Well said and you can count me in on that! I say don't force what you don't feel like doing, but at least try. Expression without any worry of control may do wonders for you. Self expression portrait project at the sticky may also be of interest.

I can't speak for everyone here, but I'm sure PM-ing your friends and staying intouch with others will help and you are always welcome at my inbox as well :) Please take care!

Stoy

[MonicaB]

{{{{{Hugs}}}}} I, for one, can't imagine a worse thing to go through. Definitely give yourself permission to *not* do art, if it's not working. But know that we are all here for you, art or not. Thoughts and prayers to you and your family.

[Mz_Sketch_Pad]

i also wanted to add that i am very sorry to hear that - you have my deepest sympathies.. i know it's a cliche but time heals all things... please take care of yourself :)

[DFGray]

Sympathies to you and family
Dan

[Artaholic]

My heartfelt prayers are going out to you.

[Gaka]

My heartfelt sorrow and sympathy goes out to you and your family as well as you late Husbands family as you must all be going through one of the most darkest periods right now.

May you have the strenght to endure each day, Lots of Love and friends to support you, take care.

Gaka

[angecald]

Artsie, I'm so very sorry to hear this. Please be very gentle with yourself. If you feel like painting, go ahead. If not, don't force it. Dealing with what's happened will be a long process. Like everyone else, I'll be praying for you and your family. Please keep dropping in to the website even if you don't paint for a while. We want to know how you're doing.

[spiral_world]

I am so sorry to hear about your lost. Please don't pressure yourself with painting...it will come later...with sadness after shock you coming through right now.... I can suggest you long, vigorous walk in nature..it helped me a lot in similar situation.

I'll pray for you

Dragica

[jackiesimmonds]

Dear Artsie

It is impossible for any of us here to do much more than offer you our deepest sympathy. I doubt there are many of us who have ever experienced the pain you must be suffering.

However, I would like to try to offer you something a little more, based on the experiences of two of my closest friends, both of whom lost their husbands.

I, and they, learned that there is a specific grieving process that you have to go through, everyone goes through it when they lose someone they care for deeply. It always follows a certain and very specific pattern, and includes feelings other than simple grief - there is pain, there is anger, there is despair - and other feelings too, even guilt.

It is really, really important that you have some help and support with this grieving process, other than words of sympathy, no matter how well-meant those words might be. And that means that you need to find a BEREAVEMENT COUNSELLOR. I cannot stress this deeply enough. The depth of your feelings will be difficult for you to manage on your own, and it really does help to have the care and support of someone professional, who understands and recognises the PROCESS of grief and loss, and explains it to you as you go along. With your counsellor's help, your world will begin to make a little sense, and although nothing will halt the process, the mere fact of understanding and accepting what you are experiencing, will help you through.

Please do see if you can find someone like this, to visit regularly.

If you cannot, then just remember that it is OK to talk about your loss, about your husband and the life you enjoyed together, and him as a person, and dont bottle up your feelings, that is the worst thing you can do. It is OK to cry, and to shout. If it doesn't feel OK to paint, then do not do it right now - or do, but only without pressure, and only if and when you feel like it. Just don't be surprised if the initial desire quickly fades - just accept it. Just remember that your feelings are all over the place and it will take time for them to settle back down.

I wish you the best thing I can think of, which is the strength to cope through this confusing and exceptionally difficult time. Please consider what I have said, and see if you can find a caring bereavement counsellor. I do hope you will.
I know it will help you heal.

Jackie

[E-J]

Dear Artsie, we're all here to help you in any way we can. You have lots of friends here - virtual friends, maybe, but very real people who care about what has happened to you.

Read what Jackie has said - it's important.

If it's too early to pick up your pastels, then it's too early - accept this and please just be kind to yourself, and the strength to create will come back, in time. I suspect painting will turn out to be a big part of the healing process for you, but until the need to paint finds its way to your fingers, keep reading us in the forums, keep posting when and if you can and feel you want to, and send one of us a PM if you need to vent.

(((((Sending you a huge hug)))))

[Kathryn Wilson]

Dear Artsie: Words cannot convey what all of us are feeling for you - some of us have been through similar situations and know that what Jackie is saying is true - seek help, find a suport group, let others do for you, and know that we are here to listen.

In the long term, art will be therapy - but right now you have to take care of yourself and your family. {{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}

[fugitive]

I don't know you, but ck in here now and then. I too am at a loss for words, concerning your plite. When I lose direction for a picture, I start cruising my photos. I have upwards of twenty thousand, and a lot are classical fine art. Something usually strikes my fancy, to start a painting from. Doesn't matter if it gets finished, it's just so good to get obsorbed in the work. Take care.
Greg

[meowmeow]

I am so very sorry for your loss! I know I cannot imagine what you must be going through.
Jackie does have some good advice there...if you can read it and follow it perhaps it will help.
If it helps to post here then by all means do so.

((Artsie)) I am sending a virtual hug...it is all I can do for now.

Sandy

[Charles Perera]

Dear Artsie,

I was deeply moved by the sudden cast of darkness into your life. These are the unfortunate vicissitudes we are called upon to experience. When someone near and close, loved and cherished departs we suddenly become aware of the uncertainty of our being...each one goes at different times, in different ways and that is what life is. The challenge is to continue life, with the memory of the one that has departed to spur you on. Please take strength from the waves of kindness, and friendship we transfer to you.

Charles.

[Susan Borgas]

Artsie your grief has brought a lot of memories back when my husbands sister committed suicide some time back, which was a terrible time for her family and friends. I remember all the emotions that Jackie speaks of. It has taken a long time for some family members to work through these but we now have all finely reached the stage were we have forgiven her and accepted this was the choice that she made and we need to get on with our own lives. I found when I was able to paint again, it was good therapy. Trust that time will heal you as well. My prayers are with you.

Sue

[Kathryn Day]

I am so sorry you are hurting. Please take care of yourself. You will find strengths that you were not aware of. Remember you are loved.

[doe]

Such sad news - sending you and your family my sympathy.

[lozz]

I have just come across your posting and I am so sorry to hear such sad news, you have my deepest sympathies and my thoughts are with you at such a difficult time.

I lost someone very close to me a long time ago and I did not get the chance to say goodbye. And it still hurts to this day 14 years on.

Some words of comfort given to me by someone much older and wiser than I when I needed them most -

'Grief is just like having a hugh chunk of ice in your heart that has to melt but it takes a long, long time to do so. That pain is unbearable at first and for a long time you think every day will be the same. But as time passes, day-by-day, the ice melts a little, each day comes and passes a little easier and so the pain of your loss gets a little less. This doesn't mean that you love them any the less, its just that chunk ice melting slowly in your heart... and you have to give it time. That chunk of ice gets smaller and smaller. Slowly you notice each day is more bearable and you catch yourself starting to do everyday things again as you move through life. But that ice is still there and the truth is, that it never totally melts away but you learn to cope with it, day by day.

The truth is everyone who has experienced such loss, carries a little ice in their hearts...'


When you are ready, and only when you are ready, please keep in touch... our thoughts are with you...

lozz

[binkie]

Oh Artsie, I am so deeply sorry. My heart goes out to you. I know there are not words to console you now. Just know that you have many friends here who care about you and are here to listen and support you during this difficult time.

binkie

[Shari]

Artsie,

My deepest heartfelt sympathy goes out to you. I cannot begin to understand what you must be feeling, and I agree with what Jackie says. Counselling is vital and has always helped me thorugh periods of deep grief. Know that you have friends here and people who care, and call upon your friends. Now is the time to really ask for the help and support that you need, whatever it may be. I always try to write during times of grief, to somehow get my feelings out. I wish you deep healing and courage.

Shari

[artist_pw]

Artsie:

I just noticed your message. My thoughts are with you and your family in this difficult time.