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justvisiting
07-23-2001, 12:04 AM
hi, i am an art student and i would like some feedback on this piece. it is oil on masonite, 24 x 30. thanks!

jerryW
07-23-2001, 10:35 AM
I think a bit more work on the 3 figures at the right.
the baby is the best.
I think it would be great if all figures had the same radiance.
the same glow.

justvisiting
07-23-2001, 01:27 PM
hi jerry,

i was going for a night scene here and was purposely trying to make the baby stand out. i was told by my teacher to glaze over the 2 dudes at the back to make them appear like they are approaching the family. it was also getting crowded and receding the 2 figures into the darkness eased that problem.

i hope it is ok for students to post in this forum.

sofi

Gavinart
07-23-2001, 04:55 PM
I think it is great you are posting your work. What year are you in?

This is a wonderful way for you to get honest critiques.

The figure on the right needs work, his hand is a little small and his collar should be subdued. The light hitting the man to lefts neck makes it look rather boxy.

I would work further into the figures. Like JerryW said, bring them up to the level of the baby. The guys in the back don't bother me, they would work better if you but a transparent dark shade over them (glaze) as your teacher said. Put them further into the background.

Is this finished? Is this why it is inscribed?

dornberg
07-23-2001, 07:14 PM
heads make a horizontal upper pattern
figures at bottom are a horizontal pattern
several verticals connect the parts and distinguish the figures
quite a contained composition

henrik
07-23-2001, 10:05 PM
The composition is fine.
Your teacher was right about subduing the two figures in the back - that works great - creates more depth and makes it less crowded.
One thing that I think would improve it that there is little interaction between the figures in terms of shadows and color radiance. The baby looks a bit cut out; like it is not part of the same painting; although the overlapping hand and some other clues places it in the right place logically. I think some of the green from the womans dress needs to go into the baby, there needs to be some shadows; from the babys arm on woman etc. Think through how the colors on the figures reflects on other parts of the figures. Shadows will make the foreground figures less flat, and letting them pick up color from each other will unite them.

Oh, and it is of cource ok for students to post - we are all studying to become better!

justvisiting
07-23-2001, 10:41 PM
thanks for all your comments and suggestions. i will work on the figures some more and hopefully do a better job. i will post the result later.

oh yes, gavinart, i am in high school and taking private lessons on oil painting. i have been sketching for 2 years now. i just tried oil and i love it.