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opainter
03-14-2018, 09:57 PM
Do you ever feel like you have something silly to say that you would like to proffer as wisdom?

Then you have come to the right place!

It can be in the form of a silly saying, a silly poem, or anything else that is silly and short.

I will start with a Haiku poem:

Never suggest that
Skinny flirts in miniskirts
Mustn't fail math!

Artchrispy
03-15-2018, 06:40 PM
'You have to risk it to get the biscuit.'

I believe it's a skater expression. I did hear a winter Olympics commentator apply it to snow boarding.

DavidPriestley
03-15-2018, 07:39 PM
'You have to risk it to get the biscuit.'

I believe it's a skater expression. I did hear a winter Olympics commentator apply it to snow boarding.
This saying actually originates from a 70’s TV advert in the UK for a muesli bar, which had the catchphrase “I’ll risk it for a Swisskit” (Swisskit pronounced like ‘Biscuit’ but with a ‘Sw’ at the start).
A while later, British people just started saying “risk it for a biscuit”.

A 'biscuit', in the UK, is the same thing that Americans call cookies.


I like finding pearls of wisdom in song lyrics. One of my favorites is from a song by 'The Eels' called "P.S. You Rock My World" (from the 'Electro-Shock Blues'album, much of which is about the songwriter Mark Everett dealing with his sister's suicide and his mother's terminal lung cancer.) which contains the phrase "a careful man tries to dodge the bullets while a happy man takes a walk." meaning that we can sometimes be too involved in being careful to enjoy simply living.
The final line of the entire album is "And maybe it's time to live."

No matter how much pain you are in, and how much you want it to all be over, at some point you have to decide to live... not just exist.

Luv2shoot
03-16-2018, 01:30 AM
Get eight hours of sleep, Nine if you're ugly.

Artchrispy
03-16-2018, 08:40 AM
This saying actually originates from a 70’s TV advert in the UK for a muesli bar, which had the catchphrase “I’ll risk it for a Swisskit” (Swisskit pronounced like ‘Biscuit’ but with a ‘Sw’ at the start).
A while later, British people just started saying “risk it for a biscuit”.

A 'biscuit', in the UK, is the same thing that Americans call cookies.


Thanks for the etymology lesson, I can now use the expression with confidence. I half suspected 'biscuit' carried a risque double entendre. :)

mbeckett
03-17-2018, 01:42 PM
a bird in hand can make a hell of a mess.

if i remember right, this was an Archie Bunker pearl of wisdom.

Kosmon
03-17-2018, 02:14 PM
three lefts make a right

mbeckett
03-18-2018, 03:31 PM
Even a broken watch shows the time correctly twice a day.

bvanevery
03-22-2018, 01:53 AM
Let us eat lettuce.
It's a lettuce eat lettuce world out there.

opainter
03-22-2018, 09:15 PM
I scream, you scream, we all scream "ice cream," if you lettuce.

bvanevery
03-23-2018, 02:23 AM
Whenever someone says "too too" or "to two" or any such combo, always correct them. "No. Bishop Tutu."

mbeckett
03-23-2018, 04:12 AM
you're a marvel... you should have been a sausage

my grandmother used to say that when she thought we were being braggarts. i have no idea where the saying came from. anyone know?

bvanevery
03-23-2018, 09:53 AM
Sounds like a derivative of an advertizing campaign.

Pin a rose on your nose and call yourself a rosy nosy.

mbeckett
03-25-2018, 09:33 PM
[that's what i thought. if i can only find some marvel sausage]

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night. -- Steve Martin

bvanevery
03-26-2018, 01:10 AM
"Surely you can't be serious?"
"I am serious, and stop calling me Shirley."

Artchrispy
03-29-2018, 07:50 PM
Don't s#^t where you eat. - Unknown. Very profound.

Don't do anything stupid. - Lee Okerwall

Ryeath
03-30-2018, 03:57 PM
Don't s#^t where you eat. - Unknown. Very profound.


Reminds me of the traditional cowboy wisdom of "Don't drink downstream of the herd."

opainter
03-30-2018, 11:32 PM
Don't do anything stupid. - Lee Okerwall

Maybe you meant "Don't do anything, stupid." :clap:
Or perhaps "Don't do anything. Stupid." :clap: :clap:

:confused: . . . :eek: . . . :o . . . ;)

snoball
03-31-2018, 09:21 AM
If you want to live longer, just don't die.

bvanevery
03-31-2018, 09:30 AM
2 birds tied together have 4 wings but cannot fly.

Coastal
05-28-2018, 09:16 PM
A wet bird never flies at night.

snoball
05-29-2018, 06:10 AM
Never eat yellow snow.

bvanevery
05-29-2018, 12:39 PM
You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friend's nose.

opainter
05-29-2018, 08:05 PM
City mice are slicker than country mice.

Coastal
06-01-2018, 12:33 AM
If two heads think exactly the same..one of the heads isn't thinking.

bvanevery
06-01-2018, 10:39 AM
I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.

opainter
06-02-2018, 11:32 PM
Heart surgery on octopuses is more involved than heart surgery on humans.

Coastal
06-06-2018, 10:08 PM
If you're not lead dog.. the view's always the same.

opainter
06-23-2018, 10:20 PM
There is no wisdom so silly but that someone, somewhere, believes it to be true.

opainter
08-15-2018, 06:45 PM
Another Haiku poem:

Uncle Carbuncle
Rode his Yellow Bicycle
To the City Zoo

Don't ask me why this is silly wisdom, it just is.

bvanevery
08-15-2018, 11:13 PM
If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge anything.

opainter
08-16-2018, 07:50 PM
If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge anything.

That is very zen! :thumbsup:

opainter
08-16-2018, 07:50 PM
If you can wrench a Dodge, you can wrench anything.

ianuk
09-02-2018, 01:01 PM
If you were my husband Churchill, I'd poison your wine!
Madam, if you were my wife, I'd drink it.

snoball
09-02-2018, 02:24 PM
You can lead a horse over the water but you can't make him sink. (Lisa Douglas from Green Acres)

snoball
09-02-2018, 04:08 PM
What does coffee taste like after dipping a paint brush in it? Asking for a friend.

opainter
09-08-2018, 10:17 PM
What does coffee taste like after dipping a paint brush in it? Asking for a friend.

What? You don't know?! :lol:

ElleAmde
09-09-2019, 01:15 PM
Never let anyone treat you like a yellow Starburst. (You are a pink Starburst.)

bvanevery
09-15-2019, 04:04 AM
Never eat anything bigger than your head.

snoball
09-15-2019, 09:01 AM
Even a blind chicken gets a grain of corn once in a while.

Kosmon
09-15-2019, 12:49 PM
You can pick your friends some of the time, and you can put your pants on one leg at a time . . .
but ain't it funny
how time
slips away?

bvanevery
09-16-2019, 10:48 AM
There are more horse's asses than horses.

ColinS
09-16-2019, 12:58 PM
None are so blind as those who step on their contact lenses.

ColinS
09-16-2019, 01:00 PM
Don't count your chickens until they have crossed the road.

snoball
09-16-2019, 01:30 PM
If you can't laugh at yourself, call me, I'll laugh at you.

ColinS
09-16-2019, 07:10 PM
A friend in knead is a friend with dough.

snoball
09-16-2019, 08:18 PM
People are taking comedians seriously and politicians as jokes.

ColinS
09-16-2019, 09:26 PM
Remember when life seems crappy, just break out another roll of toilet paper.

ColinS
09-16-2019, 09:28 PM
If wishes were horses, wishing wells would be full of drowned horses.

snoball
09-16-2019, 09:35 PM
If you really want to be somebody you're gonna need to be specific.

ColinS
09-17-2019, 06:59 PM
You can achieve anything today if you can buy on credit.

ColinS
09-17-2019, 07:01 PM
If life gives you lemons, it is because you are spending too much time in supermarkets.

snoball
09-17-2019, 07:09 PM
A man who correctly guesses a woman's age may be smart, but he's not very bright. ~Lucille Ball

ColinS
09-18-2019, 12:11 PM
Never carry eggs in your back pocket.

snoball
09-18-2019, 02:48 PM
The really frightening thing about middle age is the knowledge that you'll grow out of it.

ColinS
09-18-2019, 08:57 PM
The really frightening thing about middle age is the knowledge that you'll grow out of it.

:thumbsup:

Don't do today what you can easily avoid doing tomorrow as well. There's always next week.

snoball
09-19-2019, 07:03 AM
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

Kosmon
09-19-2019, 11:10 AM
. . . reminds me of an old favorite -

"If at first you don't succeed, don't take up skydiving."

ColinS
09-19-2019, 01:10 PM
Finding one's true inner self is much easier now that we have GPS.

ColinS
09-19-2019, 01:11 PM
A house divided needs two bathrooms.

snoball
09-20-2019, 07:24 AM
If at first you don't fricassee, fry, fry a hen.

ColinS
09-20-2019, 10:41 PM
There is nothing you set your mind to do that can't be done, preferably by hired help while you enjoy a gin & tonic on the terrace.

snoball
09-21-2019, 07:37 AM
I'm not sure how many chocolates it takes to make one happy but so far it's not 27.

snoball
09-21-2019, 07:37 AM
There are two sources of unhappiness in life. One is not getting what you want and the other is getting it.

ColinS
09-21-2019, 01:01 PM
If life is just a bowl of cherries, shouldn't we all be awash in kirsch?

Dcam
09-21-2019, 01:26 PM
People who live in glass houses.....should undress in the basement.

snoball
09-21-2019, 02:15 PM
People who live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones.

Dcam
09-21-2019, 02:21 PM
Don't fire until you see the whites of their eggs.

snoball
09-21-2019, 03:25 PM
Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.

ColinS
09-21-2019, 04:44 PM
You don't know what you've got 'til it's garbage day.

snoball
09-21-2019, 04:59 PM
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

Dcam
09-21-2019, 07:24 PM
I never DID like you, and I always will!

snoball
09-21-2019, 09:00 PM
Three out of every four people make up 75% of the population.

snoball
09-22-2019, 10:37 AM
A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

ColinS
09-22-2019, 08:51 PM
You can't teach an old dog Chinese.

snoball
09-22-2019, 09:08 PM
If you are feeling good, don't worry, you'll get over it.

ColinS
09-23-2019, 01:59 PM
Dont worry if you sometimes feel like an unloved misshapen misfit -- Hallowe'en is coming!

snoball
09-23-2019, 02:24 PM
The future ain't what it used to be.

ColinS
09-23-2019, 06:56 PM
Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you'll feed him for a lifetime. Teach a lot of men to fish and you'll,drive whole species of sea creatures to extinction.

snoball
09-23-2019, 07:16 PM
Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.

ColinS
09-24-2019, 07:16 PM
Dont spit into the wind.

snoball
09-25-2019, 07:24 AM
Always drink upstream from the herd.

snoball
09-25-2019, 07:24 AM
Never eat yellow snow.

ColinS
09-25-2019, 05:17 PM
You'll wonder where the yellow went, if you brush your teeth with pepsodent.

snoball
09-25-2019, 08:04 PM
:lol: Brylcreem, a little dab'll do ya. (that one's as old as yours)

ColinS
09-26-2019, 03:34 PM
Aren't you glad you used Dial?

snoball
09-26-2019, 06:52 PM
Don't talk about yourself, the others will take care of that after you leave.

ColinS
09-26-2019, 09:05 PM
The grass is always greener in the rainy season.

snoball
09-26-2019, 09:58 PM
If you don't know where you are going, you will wind up somewhere else!

ColinS
09-27-2019, 07:11 PM
Don't sleep in the subway, darling.

snoball
09-28-2019, 07:04 AM
If you can't convince them, confuse them.

ColinS
09-28-2019, 11:42 PM
Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker.

snoball
09-29-2019, 07:18 AM
When nothing is going right, go left.

joe1It
09-29-2019, 09:50 AM
Don't count your chickens before they're hatched.

snoball
09-29-2019, 09:58 AM
I’m going to stop procrastinating ... once I get around to it.

ColinS
09-30-2019, 09:35 AM
Don't count your cheques in before they're cashed.

snoball
09-30-2019, 03:56 PM
The less you have the more there is to get.

ColinS
09-30-2019, 10:25 PM
Money isn't everything there's also bullion and gemstones.

snoball
10-01-2019, 06:58 AM
Money isn't everything but it beats whatever is in second place.

ColinS
10-01-2019, 10:35 PM
Never invite an elephant into your lifeboat.

snoball
10-02-2019, 06:53 AM
Learn from the mistakes of others, you'll never live long enough to make them all yourself.

ColinS
10-03-2019, 12:59 PM
Neither a borrower or a lender be. Be a politician, and they'll give you stuff for free.

snoball
10-03-2019, 02:47 PM
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, an onion a day keeps everyone away.

ColinS
10-04-2019, 12:45 AM
What doesn't kill you makes you pay money for pharmaceutical prescriptions.

snoball
10-04-2019, 07:17 AM
If life gives you lemons, make lemonade and then find someone whose live has given them vodka and have a party.

ColinS
10-04-2019, 11:48 AM
Remember, you don't want to end up on your death bed wishing you had been a Russian Orthodox priest instead.

snoball
10-04-2019, 11:52 AM
It's never too late to have a happy childhood, even if it is your second one.

ColinS
10-06-2019, 01:05 PM
Look both ways before you cross your mother-in-law.

snoball
10-06-2019, 04:42 PM
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

ColinS
10-07-2019, 10:48 AM
A doctor a day keeps them in business.

snoball
10-07-2019, 02:15 PM
Don't rise and shine, just caffeinate and hope for the best.

ColinS
10-08-2019, 03:29 AM
He who laughs last probably didn't get the joke.

snoball
10-08-2019, 06:42 AM
A penny saved is a penny.

ColinS
10-12-2019, 02:13 PM
Dont expect a tuppenny view from a ha'penny seat.

snoball
10-12-2019, 02:24 PM
Remember, it's mind over matter. I don't mind and you don't matter.

ColinS
10-14-2019, 01:28 PM
Blessed are the meek, for they make way for the aggressive.

snoball
10-14-2019, 07:56 PM
Blessed are they who run around in circles, for they shall be called wheels.

ColinS
10-15-2019, 03:38 PM
Marry in haste, divorce at leisure.

snoball
10-15-2019, 07:11 PM
Being born places you at greater risk of dying later in life.

ColinS
10-16-2019, 10:39 AM
If you grow up believing in fairy tales you will one day reach the point where you are now the villain.

snoball
10-16-2019, 11:30 AM
Life is not a fairy tale, if you lose your shoe at midnight, you're drunk.

ColinS
10-18-2019, 08:27 PM
There are none so good as cannot err,
And none so brave as do not fear,
And none so kind as won't be cruel,
And none so wise as can't be fooled.

snoball
10-19-2019, 07:20 AM
Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.

ColinS
10-19-2019, 01:03 PM
The world will judge you by the company you bankrupt.

snoball
10-19-2019, 02:38 PM
When a broken appliance is demonstrated for the repairman, it will work perfectly.

ColinS
10-20-2019, 01:04 PM
An invisible and searched-for household item will instantly become visible to your spouse by telling her you can't see it.

snoball
10-20-2019, 08:33 PM
When all else fails, read the instructions.

ColinS
10-21-2019, 11:24 AM
Even a journey of a thousand miles starts with one last trip to the bathroom.

snoball
10-21-2019, 01:48 PM
A blind wife and a deaf husband are always a happy couple.

ColinS
10-22-2019, 12:51 PM
The secret to a long life is to keep breathing.

snoball
10-22-2019, 01:00 PM
Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory