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pprender
07-20-2017, 06:29 PM
This is on and 8x16 sheet of La Carte charcoal colored sanded paper.

I'd appreciate any comments.

I'm struggling with the band of light that goes from the right and ends at the fisherman. At first I had it very bright yellows and oranges. Then I toned it down with some yellow ochre. Then I added back some bright yellow mostly in the front of the band. The water was rippling there and catching the morning sun but I'm concerned that I've made it look more like some scum floating on the water.

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/20-Jul-2017/1047772-WC_Tangled.jpg

artelahe
07-20-2017, 06:54 PM
Try cream paler dashes of blue like the sky. Where did the yellow get reflected from?

pprender
07-20-2017, 07:35 PM
Thanks for responding.

The sun was to the right. The reflection wasn't actually yellow. It was more of a silver blue. I was trying to create some drama.

What do you mean by "cream paler dashes of blue"?

Donna T
07-20-2017, 08:00 PM
Hi Patricia and welcome to the forum! I just looked at your website and you do such nice work! You have studied with some very impressive names, for sure. This is such a peaceful piece and I love the smoothness of the reflection in the water. I'm not very experienced with water but I wonder if you made the flat planes of the moving water blue (where they would reflect the sky overhead) and then used your creamy yellow to indicate where the ripples occurred if that would give you the effect you want. If I'm thinking of this correctly the ripples curve away from the sky and reflect whatever color light is hitting them.

pprender
07-20-2017, 08:25 PM
Hi Donna. Thanks for checking out my website. I visited your site and particularly love January Breakthrough. It's a beautiful combination of saturated and neutral colors.

Yes, I think the next thing I need to try is to put some pale blues in with the yellows. Thanks for the suggestion.

water girl
07-20-2017, 09:56 PM
Welcome!!! Aly and Donna have made good points. I love the tranquility conveyed in your painting. You have set a lovely mood.

DAK723
07-20-2017, 10:26 PM
Welcome! This is very lovely, but I think you are correct, the rippled bright water highlights look a bit like something floating on the water.

A couple things to think about - in my opinion, anyway. Ripples on the water are reflecting color from the sky. In your case, this might include blue as well as some yellows from the sun. And water ripples and reflections usually work better if they are done with pure horizontal strokes - and also soft and blended. Otherwise, any hard edges make it seem like something on the water.

I have sent you a PM (Personal Message) with some suggestions.

Don

artelahe
07-20-2017, 10:40 PM
Thanks for responding.

The sun was to the right. The reflection wasn't actually yellow. It was more of a silver blue. I was trying to create some drama.

What do you mean by "cream paler dashes of blue"?
This was totally poor typing on my phone plus I must have accidentally deleted a part when trying to edit before posting. I was trying to say to use some light cream color (in lieu of yellow) and add touches of lighter blue reflecting the sky. Donna actually expressed it very well. Sorry for any confusion.

pprender
07-20-2017, 11:44 PM
Thanks Aly. I'm going to give the cream and light blue a try.

LisaOlivarez
07-21-2017, 02:09 PM
I agree, I love the serene quality of this painting. What about a few bits of dark coming through, too, contrasting with the lighter cream and blue suggested above? It could serve just to break up the mass of yellow a bit. The over-all shape of the sunlight does look a bit algae-like, and horizontal strokes indicating a few ripples could dispel that. Let us know how it turns out!

pprender
07-21-2017, 03:40 PM
Thanks Lisa. I am going to try breaking up the mass and try to get it to say "ripples." If it's not a horrible flop, I'll post the results.

contumacious
07-21-2017, 10:45 PM
It reads as moss to me. The reflections in the foreground are superb. Moss or not, I do like it just the way it is. Very nicely done. Looking forward to seeing your adjustments.

pprender
07-22-2017, 12:13 PM
Here's the new version. I tried to sneak up on it and slowly change the orangey colors to shades of blue. I left a tiny bit of the orange and added some dots of cream. I blended the edges very slightly by dabbing with my thumb.

I'm not sure I'm there yet and would appreciate comments and suggestions.

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Community/images/22-Jul-2017/1047772-WC_Tangled_2.jpg

Donna T
07-22-2017, 03:48 PM
While I liked your first version I think this one gives much more of an impression of moving water, Patricia. Maybe it was a good thing to have some orange underneath because that sky blue color really sings!

pprender
07-22-2017, 04:47 PM
Thanks Donna. I did leave a tiny bit of the orange peeping through. I'm going to sit with it a bit longer to see if I want to finesse the blue a little more. But I know danger lurks in overworking...

Rockport123
07-23-2017, 10:50 AM
I like your revision!

pprender
07-23-2017, 03:57 PM
Thank you. It was hard to change the orange to blue since that had been my vision of the painting since the beginning. I wanted it to say "sunlight," but it just kept looking like scum.

Skavendish
09-20-2017, 10:35 AM
I looked at this work and I perceived it as a dip in silence. It is as if I were the witness of peace that this work conveys. Beautiful expressiveness!

pprender
09-20-2017, 01:15 PM
Thank you George. The peace and tranquility of nature is what I try to convey in my paintings.

KPMAC
09-20-2017, 01:53 PM
you might want to take some of the darker greens to thin out the bands of blue to show more of the reflections of the foliage reflected off the shore line creating more of a ripple effect in the water

pprender
09-20-2017, 01:58 PM
Thanks KPMAC. That's a good suggestion. Unfortunately I've already framed it. I'll keep that in mind if I do another scene like this.

artelahe
09-30-2017, 10:10 PM
I really like your latest version, Patricia!

pprender
09-30-2017, 11:31 PM
Thanks Aly