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Alisa
10-31-2003, 02:21 PM
MY IMAGE(S):
http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/upload_spool/10-31-2003/6639_snow_closeup_wc.jpg

http://www.wetcanvas.com/Critiques/upload_spool/10-31-2003/6639_snow_large_wc.jpg


GENERAL INFORMATION:
Title: first snow
Year Created: 2003
Medium: Watercolor
Surface: Watercolor Paper
Dimension: 12x16
Allow digital alterations?: Yes!

MY COMMENTS:
Inspired by a photo by jocelynsart.

MY QUESTIONS FOR THE GROUP:
I'm wondering about the composition- cutting it in half. Is the excess space boring? The photo does'nt pick it up but there is a salt wash in the light blue.

I'd like her to have an ethereal quality, but did it "work" or does she just look pasted on- edges too hard and not enough darks.

I have a lot of questions I'm asking myself, not quite sure where I'm going. Could use your eyes and opinions!

thanks for looking, Alisa~

bloodjelly
10-31-2003, 02:36 PM
Looks great so far. How did you get the name for this one? I can see a number of ways that it could be interpreted. I would like to see a broader range of values, and I think the composition is ok, but a little half-and-half/static. She doesn't look "pasted on" at all, and you've captured her expression perfectly. Nice!

mfoxmelanson
10-31-2003, 02:36 PM
Beautiful, sensitive. I like the composition. If you really wanted to-Maybe- soften the purple edge a little.

M.

Alisa
10-31-2003, 02:50 PM
bloodjelly, the name just came to me, what does it conjure up for you? Yep, maybe more range in values. Thanks!



M, I think I will go softer next time, see if it feels better, thanks:)

Alisa~

bloodjelly
10-31-2003, 02:55 PM
Originally posted by Alisa
bloodjelly, the name just came to me, what does it conjure up for you?

That she's looking out the window to see her first snow...that she is like a first snow, innocent and pure. I guess that's it. Good title though it got my mind working more than something like "girl" would have.

Helen Zapata
10-31-2003, 03:00 PM
Lovely!! It's one of those that make you stop!

I like the bottom comp... but your detail shot is WOW. I would crop it exactly like that. Fill the paper with her expression. Fabulous!

Helen

Alisa
10-31-2003, 03:01 PM
"that she is like a first snow"....yep, I was thinking that too, wanted to see if you would say it LOL.

Alisa~

Alisa
10-31-2003, 03:04 PM
thankyou zapata!

Rabbit Twilight
10-31-2003, 04:33 PM
I think it worked beautifully. I like the softness on the right side, and the shapness as she looks into the light. It's all very magical.

giniaad
10-31-2003, 05:03 PM
I think the cropped version you put first
is an absolute winner!!
(and now, upon reading the others...I zapata already pointed that out)

it has all the right tension, push and pull
your flesh tones are superb
overall colors are singing a wonderful tune
I love the crop!!

bloodjelly
10-31-2003, 06:04 PM
Yup, ditto on the crop. I was going to say that at first, but I thought you could add something interesting to the whole composition with her body and the negative space on the left.

Paintonbrush
10-31-2003, 08:17 PM
Touching. perfect title......lovely
the way you capture her face...awww...e some

Phranque
10-31-2003, 08:19 PM
I like this a lot. I think both versions work. I like how the only real darks are in her eyes, making them the focal point. It has a magical quality. Don't change a thing.

impressionist2
10-31-2003, 08:57 PM
I agree with all the crop comments. The cropped version is hauntingly beautiful.

I love perfect watercolors like this.

Renee

artbabe21
11-01-2003, 10:11 AM
Terrific piece.....I love the full version for many reasons but the crop is SO appealing...your painting is sensitive and superb...:)

pero lane
11-01-2003, 01:54 PM
I also like the crop...eyes are so expressive! Very well done!:clap:

Alisa
11-01-2003, 03:23 PM
Rabbit Twilight- love that you said "magical". Laying the washes down on the left where it's soft was an excerise in restraint for me- did'nt allow myself to play in the water once it was on the paper:) The crisper edges on the right though, I got to play there:)

giniaad- I love the crop too. I've always done my figures in "scenes" with much background. Think I'll try one close up and personal. thankyou!


bloodjelly- "you could add something interesting to the whole composition with her body and the negative space on the left." Maybe a reflection of her (or something else, maybe just light) in the window. I like the way you think! Thanks so much for your input:)

Paintonbrush- appreciate that, thanks!

Frank van Boxtel - That's one thing I am confident about- her eyes being dark. Thankyou so much.

impressionist2- *big smile*!!!


artbabe21- yep, the crop version has it. I need to start doing studies beforehand! Thankyou!


pero lane- thankyou!



Alisa~

Rieko
11-02-2003, 12:22 PM
I like them both... but I really like the intense feel of the cropped version. Wonderful use of colors which glows and emphasizes her lovely expression seeing the snow.

lum733
11-02-2003, 01:46 PM
This one nearly blew me off my chair. I agree with the comments re: the cropped version. Both are beautiful, but the crop is far more powerful IMHO.
Janice

Alisa
11-02-2003, 01:50 PM
Hi Rieko! thankyou

Janice LOL... thanks:)

Alisa~

steveb
11-03-2003, 06:35 AM
Da cropped version would definitely be the version you'd be wanting to go with.

If you have any questions, I'll be watching....Da Bears!

steveb